Hi everyone , so was hit with the news im hit with grade 3 not sure of stage yet but lump been there lot of months that im aware off , due to this so scared it spread further than breast and lymph nodes .feeling so angry at myself today and my original doctor.yet it also feels surreal like its not happening to me , autopilot mode right now …does it ever kick you into real world
Hi Maria
You have come to the right place. Full of women at different stages and all here to support each other.
I have only been diagnosed since last week and am recovering from lumpectomy and node removal since Tuesday.
I have no idea of grade or stage yet, that will be given to me next Thursday.
Like you, i feel confused and find the whole situation surreal. I don’t think I have had time to take everything in yet.
All I can say is this forum is wonderful. When I come here, I don’t feel alone or isolated. There is always someone to offer a supportive ear and say the things you need to hear. Use it to rant, moan, laugh and cry. Ask for advice on anything. There is always someone who will have experienced something similar to you.
Take care, there is a great bunch of superwomen here ready and waiting to support you ???
Hi Maria, I was diagnosed on October 28th last year so I’m nearly 3 months ahead of you … I was pretty calm when first diagnosed but I have to confess that I have had a few meltdowns so far … I think everyone you speak to and many more ladies will come along soon to speak to you will tell you that our emotions can be all over the place … I know I’m up and down and indifferent depending on the day and boy can the days change … lol
These first few weeks for you can be pretty anxious and overwhelming as you don’t know what is going to happen next and it can seem as though you are having lots of appointments and tests but no treatment is actually starting … just remember DONT google … a lot of what is on the internet is outdated and will not apply to you … our treatment plans are all different and your plan will be tailored just for you. When you hear of other ladies having tests you haven’t had or you have a test that others haven’t had it’s purely because the professionals are working for you and doing tests that will form your treatment plan. We are all different …
Keep coming on here to chat and keep us updated, this is a fab site for lots of support
Sarah xx
Hi Maria
It’s the worse thing I know - and we do beat ourselves up about not finding lumps - but you have found it now so that’s the main thing .
I have 5 cm and nodes but I’ve been researching it all and I tell we are gonna be ok and have a really good chance at beating this - there are some unbelievably hard days for us to come and had already but on here there is so much support… im 41 with 3 kids under 10 so I’m not going to let it get me …I will check in with you later and let you know more about where I am and if I can help you at all just ask …big (((((hug)))))
Zena xxxxx
Thank you everyone for all your kind words …zena worst thing is i went to docs last may ,month after i found lump .she said it was a hematoma and sent me on my merry way and told me to come back in 12 weeks had it not gone ,obviously i werent overly concerned. come september nothing had really changed life past me by , werent till bruising couple weeks before xmas when i started to panic went back to docs she said same thing hematoma had i rebanged my boob and that she didnt think it was anything cancerous but would send me for scans as i had returned with same symptoms . Not sure why but i feel angry with myself for not going back in september and with her for giving me same reason twice .sounds silly i know …but 10 months + is long time for a untreated cancer lump…lots of ifs buts maybes in my head x
Yay Zena,
mine was / is lobular…and this sort of story seems more common among us ‘lobbies’…I had hoped that it was being found earlier than in my time…good luck to you also. And all the other friends on this thread.
will be watchng to see how you all get onxx
hugs, Moijanxx
Thanks moijan .i felt like i had wasted her time when i left her office and that someone else deserved that appointment .think i thought i would of been referred for scans first time even as a precaution .never been one to make a fuss lol x
I know Hun , I really can’t believe I left it so long to go back… with my history too . And like you I felt the white coat thing ( they know better I’m a stupid non medical) .
If only I keep thinking … I wouldn’t be in this position…
I was very down last few days and got very low . I went to gp and got some diazepam ( never taken before ) … I took half a tablet and felt calmer - and then when I woke up in the night I felt panicked again so took the other half and went back to sleep .
Have you got anything like that to help you when you feel at your most worried and scared ? Xx
Meant … like you Hun … I’m rubbish at touch type x
Keep thinking , shall I sue ??? or something
but only have energy to fight this at the moment… xx
Hi zena , must admit hospital so far have been amazing had mammo/ ultrasound and biopsies last thursday .was meant to go to hospital for half 8 yesturday morning (never got letter till today ) .they rang me at 9am yesturday saying did i receive my appointment as i never turned up . Constultant told me to pick a time and he would fit me in no matter what which i did .then today i had bone scan and ct scan .Results next wednesday, thats the scary bit knowing whether its spread or not knowing its been there for so long all i know is its grade 3 and the most common breast cancer .All the hospital staff so far have been amazing x
Zena , tbh last couple days and reading peoples stories and knowing other people are going through or have gone through it helps a little .Im still in that is it really happening to me .the fear that it may of spread gets me abit cause of my 12yr old son .telling him no matter what, is going to be hardest thing ive done since his dad passed away .waiting till ive got all the facts before i deal with that x
That’s good to hear Maria … as long as they moving quick and the waiting is not so long for you ( any waiting is hard tho I know Hun ).
I’m so sorry you and your son Have been through so much it seems very unfair xxx
But yes super these ladies can get us through this awful awful time xx
I told my children I have a bad boob and I’m going to have and operation to remove it and then some medicine that will make me loose my hair … the 4 year old has no idea the 9 year old keeps asking have I had my boob cut off yet !! And my very sensitive 11 year old is worried a lot but he just has loads of cuddles and we all trying to be normal …
it’s breaking my heart ,xxxx
My 12 year old is like that very sensitive , he was constantly questioning me when i went for mammo , us and biospy kept asking why i needed them i wasnt old enough for a routine mammo .They had learnt about this at school few months back .so far my appointments have fit round him and therefore he doesnt know .plus im much calmer with him about .Hoping my mum can be when she has him after school tomorrow as so far everytime i see her she crys .Do worry about her she is 75 and i know its going to take its toll on her xx
Thank you Helena , I needed one and one for you at finishing today ( I think ) … you did it lady xxx
Zena may i ask how long you have been diagnosed and do you have a treatment plan yet .sounds nosey sorry , guess im curious about how different hospitals deal with things …my boob and arm and back for some reason have been achin this past couple of days .plus my c boob is alot smaller than my normal one .though consultant seemed concerned about non c one being so much bigger .tbh non c boob looks quite flat since mamo .i even said that to the nurse .x
Helena well done for getting through it .you sound like a very srong lady .hoping i have that in me when it comes to it x
Hi Zena,
I don’t think they’ll do oncotype testing on you. If I remember right, you already know you’re having chemo and oncotype is for people who are marginal for that.
So at least you can avoid that test and wait. I’ll be really interested to hear what he says about ovary removal.
Ali x
Hi
No of course ask me anything at all …
Diagnosed 29th Dec - nothing happened till I got on the case for MRI on 6 th Jan ( prob holidays thing -shame C doesn’t know that ). Then I called for results … had all 3 levels of nodes (scary secondary’s ) then I said I want ct and bone scan … I had that on fruday and bone on Monday this week - then meeting with dr and he was so rubbish and made me scared - he just showed me paper MRI report … didn’t talk me through anything and said did I want op or chemo first !!! I mean I’m not the expert … left feeling really angry and scared… bcn is a wet lettuce so useless for me .
I am now seeing new dr in morning at new clinic and hope that I get treatment soon as I feel it in me ( bit in my head ) …
I will say Maria, my arm and shoulder ached and my boob for days last week and I was convinced I had it in the bones and lung , I really was convinced, I was crying so much I needed diazepam to calm me down which had helped me stay together over last few days .
Both scans are clear and then my arm stopped hurting , not my boob but then I know that’s still got a 5 cm tumour in there …
I had to push but it sounds like you are moving fast - because I have a large number of nodes involved I think they struggled really … or Hereford are just rubbish.
My one c boob is massive now after biopsys 2 weeks ago and still sore , tho had a period just , so that has also made it a bit more painful.
I never took any pills before really but the diazepam only half at a time when I feel panicked about this unbearable thing that’s happening.
Today me and hubby went to IKEA and got a new Mattress and some stuff like you do from ikea ?And had lunch and had a bc free day - it was lovely and then picked up kids and had a lovely evening with them … I am appreciating my life so much-even tho I did before, it’s just totally amazing now and I’m not going anywhere for a good while , neither are you darl xxxxxxxx