Hi Mags,
I was diagnosed in March of this year. One night in bed I turned to cuddle my dh (dear husband) and screamed out in pain. We examined my right boob and it was very swollen and hard. It had gone like that very suddenly. I went to see gp next day who diagnosed (incorrectly) non-breastfeeding mastitis (never heard of it - neither has anyone else I have spoken to!). After a week of antibiotics there was, of course, no change so went back to gp. Scans followed, biopsys and bone and ct scans. All of which concluded that I had the breast cancer with secondaries, including but not exclusive to my liver. So far I have had 6 cycles of taxotere (3/4 dose) 4 of them with carboplatin, 7 doses of herceptin and, as you know, I have just started the femara and zoladex. From my diagnosis I have been on a dairy free diet (there is some lactose in some pills I have taken/have to take), I don’t eat red meat and abstain from alcohol. I also bought a juicer and have at least 8 fruit/vegs juiced every morning, with some other stuff thrown in. I also try to drink at least 3 cups of green tea a day. I take some supplements as well. May seem a lot of effort, but I figure what have I to lose.
I haven’t been at all well during the bad points of the chemo, just about returning to almost human during the good weeks. I have lost most of my fingernails, and look like a chronic nailbiter. Which I am not! My toenails are probably on the way out and I have lost one which was loose and I caught and ripped off!. The reason I have put weight on is because of the affect on my metabolism by the steroids. When on them I could eat two plates fulls of main course in one sitting and still be hungry. During the bad points of chemo I could barely eat at all. Even now I get extremly tired very quickly, but don’t know if its chemo fatigue or cancer fatigue.
My kids are 6 (boy) and 10 (girl). From finding the ‘lump’ we have been as honest with them as we can for the ages and understanding. We try to give ‘new’ information to them when they are together, so that they both know what is going on and can talk to each other if they feel the need. Obviously the eldest is more aware of what is going on and is more emotionally affected on a day to day basis. The younger one has all the facts but the emotional process is a little different for him. We try to talk as openly as we can, although my daughter tends to ask dh the more difficult questions. I have to add that their school has been incredibly supportive about the whole thing, even sensitively covering cancer in my daughter’s class for their PSHE module on illness. Her class all now know that I have cancer and one or two parents have commented on this and say how much their children want to be ‘there’ for her.
Even though your children are older I know from experience that your diagnosis is probably just as tough for them as it is for my two, albeit they can deal with it from an adult perspective. I say this because my own mother was diagnosed with cancer two years ago this month. Sadly she passed away within three months of her diagnosis. It must be so very difficult for both you and your daughter living so far apart.
The jabs went well. Have to say with shamed face that I flinched and yelped (well it was an implant) whilst my little on just sat still and didn’t move a muscle!
In answer to your other question I like to have the facts. Indeed I asked about my prognosis when my secondaries were diagnosed. So I guess I am the bottom line kind of person. Tell me the worst and I’ll do whatever I can to make it better. If my time is limited tell me so that I can make the most of it and help prepare my loved ones.
It is very refreshing to have this correspondence with you, someone who has primary, because I think mostly on this site we are separated by the nature of the threads.
I seemed to have written quite an essay, hope it is not too long and you haven’t fallen asleep yet!
Snoogle
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