Sooooooooooooooooooooo pleased for you!!! Well done, will be having a little drink tonight to toast you. Have a great night and hope you get very tipsy! you sure deserve it. Glad Tamox sorted out, I got mine and they gave me 30. Enjoy and well done againxx
Fiona: No news as yet on trial, maybe tomorrow. Great day today, I was the only patient in car so no waiting around.first time so home handy. Good Luck with the decorating, you are doing really well and cream sounds good. Are you still going to the counselling? hope its going ok. xx
Keep smiling girls, chat again tomorrow
Love to you both
Jillxx
Hi Girls,
Just a quickie before I go, trial nurse rang this morning and I got the 12 month, so will finish next March, was hoping for the 6 months but never mind. Have first next Thursday, then every 3 weeks. Seeing her when I go now so will no more later.
Hows the head Lindiloo? hope you had a great time.
Hows the head Lindiloo - hope your silence does not mean a mega hangover that you have not been able to get out of bed!!??
Jill - shame about you getting the long leg of the trial - hopefully the days you get the herceptin will go quickly. I am still going to counselling - have my 3rd session next Thursday - the woman is really good but I come out of there exhausted - it is sure not going to be a quick fix but I am fairly confident that I will be able to carry on with her as she is completetly different from a counsellor I tried a couple of years ago - I sure hope so cos I really need to sort my head out - can only ‘put on a face’ for so long!! Are you having any counselling or are you coping ok?? And you too Lindiloo re the counselling?
Any plans for the weekend for you both?
More painting and gym for me then back to work on Monday!
Hiya girls,
Glad to hear your both ok, ( Heads ok lol ) had a realy good night at the Italian resturant it was lovely, stuffed myself silly though, (not good for the weight ha) also went and had a mixed grill earlier with the family so what with all this eating out think il have to fast all weekend lol.
Jill, glad you have heard from the trial nurse and know which arm your on ,im sorry you didnt get the arm you were hopeing for , but i know your gonna do fine anyway,i know i wont be able to give you any tips/advice re the Heceptin, but il still be around to give you lots of support , good luck for Thursday i will be thinking about you, Hows your skin doing now? i seem to be getting redder and redder but they said it will peak about 14 days after finishing rads and then itll start to improve .
Fiona, Glad to hear the counselling is going well and is helping, i know what you mean about putting a face on things, im ok most of the time but i get down days sometimes too, espesically if i dwell on things to much, dont think il ever get back to the carefree person i was before all this, but i guess its still early days for us and we need to get back confidence in ourselves and our bodies , and youve had so much more to cope with too. I guess people expect us to bounce back right away ,wish it was that easy eh, but then, unless youve been there you cant realy understand the impact it all has on you can you. I try not to talk about it too much to anyone anymore because all people seem to say is, (nows the time to put it at the back of your mind and get on with your life) wouldnt it be great if it was that easy, thats why this site has been brilliant because we understand all the emotions involved. to be honest i think the emotional impact is far worse than the treatments but hey we are all ( brave ladies lol )and we are all gonna do just fine.
Hope you both have a lovely weekend and chat to you soon
Lots of Hugs
Lindiloo xx
Glad you have had good celebrations - its nice to get some good grub!!
I completely understand about not getting back to the carefree person that you used to be - I have said that many times now - think I started saying it 2 years ago when Suzie was ill so I have no chance now. Even with just the bc (JUST !!!) - I dont think we could ever return to the person we were before - we just need to learn how to live again and live our lives again, cos this will always be hanging over our heads. As you say it is early days and things will get easier for us, but we will never be the same. I know I will not have any confidence in my body until I get recon - and then it will depend on the results. I dont have a partner now and certainly cant see myself with anyone while I look the way I do!!. Also as you say, people dont understand - I have had so many people say after I have talked about living with a 1 boobed body - well at least you are alive!! No-one can ever understand what its like to live like this unless they have been thro it - and yes, I am thankful to be alive - but it dont make it any easier.
I dont know what I would have done without this site - it is a godsend. Sometimes I now think should I log on less to enable me to move on, but when I start chatting to people like yourself and Jill , I just want to stay in touch and see how you are doing and as you say, people understand how we are feeling.
Anyway - we are all brave ladies and we will get through this - and probably become better, stronger women for it - but its still be shit!!!
Fiona, hows the decorateing going? hope its not to knackering , i keep looking around my flat and thinking it could do with a bit of a spruce up ,think i might make a start soon with the kitchen.
Oh Fi, i know what you mean about peoples comments, they may be well intensioned but certainly not very helpfull at times. I was twittering on about getting some hair dye to cover some of the grey hairs ive now got before i ditch the hats and was told (IM VAIN and youd think after what id been through my hair shouldnt be of importance to me ) arghhhhhhhh well ok i know in the whole scheme of things mabe its not important but itll make me feel better and thats what counts isnt it? anything that gives us a boost eh. Honest i could write a long list of inapropriate things people have said over the last yr. I also feel like you, and have thought its mabe time to pull back from this site in order to move on, its not easy though is it , its been a big part of my cancer journey and ive met so many lovely ladies on here and like you i want to know how everyone is doing. Though i am gonna try hard to only read threads which appy to me because i ofen come off this site sometimes more depressed than when i came on , which i know aint doing me any good .
Jill, where are you girl? hope your ok and just haveing a busy weekend ,did you get anymore info from your trial nurse yet? only 3 days left for you now with the rads eh itll be here before you know it ( horay ), hope you have a bit of a celerbration lined up too. Hope your skins ok also and not getting to sore.
Hi Girlies
Im here!! have not been able to come on as my computer decided to throw a wobbler, all ok now.
Hope you are both having a good weekend, I have had quite a busy one, catching up with everything in the house that I have neglected since last year. Had a good sort out and thrown all the things I have hoarded for years away, and I feel so much better for it!!! In two days time I will probably need something that has been discarded, that I have not been near for 5 years!!
Lindiloo: My skin is not too bad, just gradually getting a bit more sore and red, but hey only three to go, no problem. Glad you enjoyed your night out, and no hangover, good girl. Like you and Fiona, this site has helped me so much, and I do not feel I would like to pull away, it is a great comfort to know that Fiona and yourself are always there to chat to and we all understand what each other is going through, so long my our little gang continue! Take Carexx
Fiona; Hows the decorating coming along? you have got me in the mood now, I have been looking at paint charts before, that is the trouble when the sun comes out, shows up all the grubby bits so once herceptin over on Thursday will be trotting off to B & Q. Dont know why but I am more nervous of the Herceptin treatment than the chemo or rads, think it is because the side effects can cause damage to the heart, know I am being stupid and keep telling myself to get a grip but it is worrying me, so will be glad when it is all done.Very lucky to have the funding where I live to get it, so should not grumble… Whinge over!!! Thank you for listening.xx
It is a gorgeous day here the sun has been shining all day, hope you both have good weather and are enjoying your week end.
Lots of Love to you both
Jillxxx
Fiona: Not sure if you know, but there is a message for you from a girl called Anne5 in this section, was posted a day ago, so thought would let you know in case you had not seen itx
Lindiloo - maybe we should all get together and write a book on insensitive things folks have said to us on this journey - it would certainly be long!! I cannot believe that person said that about your hair - they should try being without hair, lashes and eyebrows and then they will see how good it makes us feel to have it back - grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr commments like that just make me mad. You do what makes you feel good girl - and it is NOT being vain at all!!!
Jill - Did not see the message from anne 5 - will go have a look for it. Try and not be nervous about the herceptin - easy for me to say - but I am sure it is quite rare to have heart damage from it? Its just that they have to warn you about these things?
Decorating going well - thats vestibule finished. Think I will do lounge next - altho prob wont get a start till Thursd - working Mond and Wed and going out for lunch and maybe a few drinks on Tuesd - its just got to be done.
I went to the cinema this afternoon to see 27 dresses - honestly girls - if you like chick flicks you really must go and see this - I laughed out loud and quite a few bit - it was predictable but funny - it will definately be one I am buying - so if you want a laugh go see it.
Today it was pizzing down rain when I went to the gym - and when I came out it was brilliant sunshine!!! - Still a lovely evening. Off to watch the Oliver results show - sad I know!!
Take care girls - only 3 to go Jill - congrats on getting thro another stage
Thanks Fiona, I thought maybe you had not seen message, as you reply quickly usually. I know you are right Fiona re Herceptin, it is just like any form of medicine there is always a long list of possible side effects but it does not mean you get them, so stopping worrying and just getting on with it. I am not normally a worrier, maybe the tamoxifen is sending my hormones a bit wild!!! Movie sounds good I will keep a look out for it.
Take Care and have a good week, chat tomorow
Love
Jillxx
Managed to find the message - it was down to about page 9 or something but have replied now - so thank you. I would hate anyone to think I was being rude and not replying.
Its natural to worry Jill, but am sure it will be a breeze for you - fingers and everything else crossed. I can imagine tho that mentally its a pain in the azz knowing you have this every 3rd week for the next year - I know I would feel like that.
Hi Girls,
Hope you are both having a good week so far. I am on countdown as you probably can imagine I am so glad tomorrow is last day for rads.
Fiona: Glad you found the message, enjoy lunch today, and gym first good idea eat as much as yer like then without feeling guilty!!!
Lindiloo: Hope you are doing ok and your skin is not too sore? What is freedom like? I intend to have a shopping spree at weekend, maybe have to relent a buy a size bigger, are you still noticing the weight increase? Must be the Tamox as I have been good watching what I eat but the scales are still goin up!!!
Anyway girls I will be back later for a chat, got to go and get ready for No 19!!
Love
Jillxxx
Oh Jill, bet your so pleased that your finaly finishing rads tomorrow, Yipeeeee, its a brilliant feeling , i know you have Heceptin thurs but hope you can still manage a bit of a celerbration tomorrow , you derserve it .How is your skin doing? im still red and sore but itll start healing soon i expect. Try not to worry to much about the Heceptin ( i know its easy for me to say ) but im sure youll be fine and like Fiona says any heart problems are quite rare and they will be keeping a close eye on you .
Yes i think its definately the Tamoxifin with the weight gain too urghhh , i havent weighed myself since , dont want to depress myself so banning the scales lol. Enjoy your shopping spree at the weekend go treat yourself to something special.
Fiona, hope your ok and had a nice lunch out today, Glad to hear your decorateing is going well,if your like me youll end up doing the whole place before you finish lol.
also glad to hear you had a good time at the pictures ill have to look out for that film it sounds good i could do with a good laugh. You made me laugh when you said you were off to watch the Oliver show, im another saddo lol i get hooked on all those shows , i watch em all ,ah well .
Well girls take care and ill chat to you both later,
il be thinking of you tomorrow Jill (horray no more daily hospital visits)
Lots of Love
Lindiloo xx
Hi Girls,
What a day today has been, I am just home from the hospital at 6.00 from 12.30 and I am a bit cheesed off tonight, saw doctor and they have made a mistake with my treatments, I have to have 3 boosters and they were not included at the start which means I only finish Monday of next week now. I know it is only three more but with starting the Herceptin Thursday I am now going to be having both, so better pack my butties as they have told me it will be all day. I had geared myself up to finish tomorrow. Never mind, nothing I can do. Hope you are both ok, and you have had a good day.
Love to you both
Jillxxx
Oh Jill, no wonder your cheesed off , its blooming disapointing for you especialy as they have left it this late to tell you urghhh. Did they measure you up again for the boosters? i had that done a couple of weeks before where they make a traceing on clear plastic of the area to be boosted. I had 8 boosters in all , its a lot quicker only about a minute or two. Sorry to also hear you had a long day again too, are you haveing to wait around for the transport? have a big glass of wine (or two ) tonight and try not to be too upset about it monday will be here before you know it and now youll be able to go celerbrating properly without worrying about haveing heceptin the next day, Keep your chin up. Lots of Hugs ((((((((((((((((( )))))))))))))))
I am gutted for you - was going away to type yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee for you - only 1 more to go - what a bummer - bloody docs!!! Monday will be here before you know it!!
Lindiloo - hows you?
I cant remember what you both usually do for work - bad memory - either chemo or age - or both!!!
I have come to the conclusion I am officially mad - I just dont know when to stop and rest. Went to gym this morning - had a hard workout, had lunch then came home and thought… I’ll just do the woodwork in the lounge - started at about 2 15 - and finally sat down for tea at 645 - did the woodwork and decided to do the roof too - once I started the roof I could have cried and wished I hadnt. But hey ho - thats it done now. My back is aching again and I am working tomorrow!! Only a short day tho 7 30 to 330.
I really should go have a bath but cant be bothered - I am knackered now!
You both take care
Speak to you both soon
Love
Fiona
xxx
Hi Girls,
How are you both doing? Hope you have had a good day, mine better today home at 5.
Fiona: I have always done clerical work, hope to get back doing some shortly. You are like a little tornado! Hope your back is ok, nice though after the chemo to be able to do it. Wish you lived down here I would employ you to do mine! Hope your shift went wellx
Lindiloo: I am fine tonight, was just a bit down in the mouth last night, but back on top today, Skin has gone very red today and quite itchy, as Fiona said it can be quite embarrassing as you just have to itch!!! How is yours doing? Hope not too sore.x
Well girls I am off to my bed now as I have to be up very early in the morning, I am really not a morning person so need time to come round as transport coming at 8, and as you know I dont do mornings!! I am having Herceptin then treatment so be a busy busy day. Herceptin IV takes an hour and a half but I have to be monitored for 6 hours after, blood pressure etc . Let you know tomorrow how I have got on.
Keep Smiling
Love to you both
Jillx
know tomorow evening how I have got on.
Good luck for your first herceptin tomorrow xxx
When you gotta itch you gotta itch - lol
Lindiloo - hope your doing ok too
Therapy, gym and more painting for me tomorrow - yipeeeeeeeeeeee. Once I start something I get my woosh head on and just want to get on and get it done - keep forgetting tho that my body has been thro quite a lot!!!
Hiya girls,
hope you are both ok, Jill, i hope everything went well today with your first Heceptin ,it must have been a long day for you lass ,i too am not a good morning person lol and need time to come around (usealy aroung lunchtime ha) but i could clean the whole house at midnight lol think my body clocks always been the wrong way around. Let us no know you got on later if you can.
Fiona, glad to hear your ok and getting all your decorateing done , ( can you throw some of your energy our way lol) think id be employing you too if you were nearer ha.
im fine still red/peeling and itchy but hey ho itll start to improve soon i expect. Hows the therapy going? i hope it is helping a bit.
Well take care both of you and chat to you later
Lots of Love
Lindiloo x
Seems like I could make some money if I lived nearer both of you. Dont really know where the energy comes from - sometimes I dont have that much - but I came to the conclusion today that this is my way of sticking 2 fingers up to the cancer and the treatment and kind of saying ’ i am going to get back to normal’. Think I need to rest more tho - I have cold sores which is always a sign I am run down!! Saying that - I got the first coat done in the lounge today - wont get 2nd coat till Sunday now. Therapy was very hard again - but ok - I spose its early days to notice a big difference - I get so emotional every time just now.
Jill - how did the herceptin go? I bet its been a long day for you. Hope you are ok. Let us know.
I am like both of you - dont like the mornings - dont speak to anyone first thing - prefer to come to myself first.
Anyway take care
Love and hugs to you both
Fiona
xxx
Hi Fi,
Your so right about sticking two fingers up at all the crap we have had , good for you , cold sores are a pain arnt they, i get them too, and they do reckon they come on when we are run down like you say, Try and get a bit of a rest and some me time too eh.
Im pleased your therapy is going ok, like you say its early days and it must be realy difficult talking about everything , its bound to bring all the emotions out , but hopefully in the long run it will help loads. Keep your chin up lass your doing great and i know your gonna do just fine . (Now go put your feet up girl and have a good rest lol.)