Thanks ladies
Not in a good place at the moment… Hardly slept and that was after taking a sleeping tab…
I think I was hoping against hope that it was nothing and has shocked me even tho I knew in my heart… Daft I know!!!
I’m a single mom so I need to keep working just not sure how I’m going to do it!! But bills/mortgage need paying…
Bumpkin - I’m TN… Made mistake of googling it and everything I read gives me little or no chance of seeing my boys grow up…
I’m so so sorry you ladies are so brave and heres me feeling sorry for myself!!! I don’t even trust my oncologist to make right decisions… Have had loads of probs with Hosp…
I’m going to leave the forum for a while cause I feel I’m affecting everyone too much in a negative way… Will be back when my head’s absorbed this latest news!!!
Thanks again!!
C xx
I just want to echo all that everyone has said. Do use the forum as much as you need to, everyone is here to support you and offer advice. I am thinking of you and hope that you soon have a treatment plan in place. Take care xxxxx
Ladies… Thank you all for your kind words… I’m in such a crappy place at the mo… Can’t stop crying, even when my boys are around., which I something I never do… Even ex seems to have had enough and tbh I don’t blame him… Not answering txts/calls… I’ve got my oncologist appt on Wednesday but all I can think is that is it… End of
And this is type of txt which is why I need to recoup, get head in a better place… Stop having a meltdown!!! I’m popping the diazepam but even that not touching it…
I’m sooo sorry… Major brain issues at mo…
My love to all you strong supportive ladies…
C xxxx
Corinne, we are all here for you and I’m sure everyone empathises with how you are feeling. It can be so hard and everyone has dark times. However improbable it may seem at the moment you will find a way through this. I will be thinking of you on Wednesday and sending lots of love. Steph xxxx
Ladies
Oncologist appt cancelled… Test results not back yet… Can’t get another one til Monday now… Scares me that results aren’t back, thinks means really bad!!! More waiting round… Going out of my mind!!!
Love, hugs and bat wishes to everyone on forum who is getting results, appts today…
That was meant to say best wishes not bat!!!
C xx
Hi Corinne, was just going to wish you good luck today. So sorry that your appointment has been cancelled and you have more time to wait. This is definitely not anything to do with the results being bad, they just haven’t processed them. Take care of yourself. Am thinking of you. Love Steph xxx
Ladies
Thanks both of you…
Lynn - I’m pleased your scans were stable and long may it continue… I’m sorry that you had 2 hrs wasted time and stress… . I think when I posted earlier I had worked myself up to go to the hospital and get my results therefore the cancellation really upset me… However thinking about it I’m glad that they rang and that I didn’t have that wasted time and anxiety. - think I’ve got the ‘white coat syndrome’ now something else I’ve developed along with a fear of needles since diagnosis… . ??
Steph - thanks for the thought of good wishes!! Hope you’ll be thinking of me next Monday, more I get etc …
I was worried it might mean bad news that the results werent ready as when I first got my mets to supraclavicle node they couldnt pin the beast down and had to send it off to a specialist pathologist… Who eventually (after another long wait - agony!) confirmed the diagnosis…
Oh well, few more deep breaths, and I’ll get my anxiety colouring book out again… At least the boys will keep me busy over the weekend… I can now a manage to not cry in front of then which is such a blessing for me and them!!! ? we are however spending a lot of time cuddling… Which I LOVE!!!
Hope all ladies on this forum are good… And thanks to anyone who has supported me…
(((Hugs))))
C xxx
Hi Corinne, I will most definitely be thinking of you on Mondsy and will continue to send lots of positive vibes. I live in Staffordshire too, although under a different hospital, so they don’t have far to travel! Enjoy the time with your boys. How old are they? My son was 7 when I was first diagnosed, I didnt think i would see him grow up, but he’s 14 now and doing so well, we are really proud of him . Take care xxxxxx
Carrot
Welcome to the nodie thread… I’m sorry you have to be here tho… … And I don’t bel there is any policy to posting… U jump into any thread you want… Whether you need help/support or
can help someone else out… Goodness knows I’ve had that much help and support from these lovely ladies… Don’t know how I would have got thru last few weeks without them!!!
If you read the post you will know I’m in the waiting room with you… It is extremely hard… And as you can read I have had a hard time coping… Deep breaths and keeping busy are ones that I try and rely on, but hey sometimes I think I need to to just sit down and cry into my coffee…
I can’t help with any of the chemo options, so far I’ve only have the fec (major allergic react to tax part so no t) and have cape for my reoccurrence last year… But I’m sure your oncologist will be able to come up with a treatment plan… It’s just the waiting to get it!!!
I wish you all the best for Thursday… Keeps us updated…
((Hugs)))
C xxx
Hi Steph
Thank u in advance for your positive vibes…
My boys were 4 and 5 at primary diagnosis, they are 9 and 10 now… We managed to keep a lot of what was happening away from them the first time round , but as they are older now it’s hard to keep it ‘normal’ they see all the adverts in papers and TV and always asking me as I’ve got cancer when will I die!!! The 9 year old won’t even sleep on his own anymore as he thinks the cancer will come and kill me during the night, I find that especially hard… ? anyone have any advice on how to deal with his fear? Sometimes hate the charity fund raising - I know they do a brilliant job and it is needed - just makes it hard for my family… ?
You must be so proud of your son, they go thru such a hard time seeing us with this illness… It is an illness that is sooo hard to hide from our loved ones… Fatigue, bald heads, strange nails, moon faces - as my son refers to me when on steroids!!! To Name just a few!!!
I’m at Stafford ‘county’ hosptital … Like the name change makes a difference! … But after having seen five difference oncs all with different ideas and some called back from retirement I no longer have any confidence in them and am looking at moving hospitals… I live on s/staffs / west mids border so I can easily hop onto the m6 to travel most places…
I hope you are ok and doing well . Best wishes…
C xx
Hi ladies
I’ve now had my appt for Monday confirmed in writing - letter came today… I know this is a silly worry but the letter doesn’t confirm appt with my oncologist… Just states with a ‘Clinician’… Letters normally stated oncologists name or ‘a member of his team’ this concerns me as it makes me think I’m going to be seeing oncologist number 5!!! - since sept- bloody Hosp, feel they get nothing right… The inconsistency is driving me mad !!! Especially as none of them ever seemed to have read my notes…
Bit of a rant — sorry guys…
C xxx
Hi Corinne, just to say I hope that your appt goes well tomorrow and you see a familiar face not a locum! Take care , I’ll be thinking of you. S xxxx
Hi stephie
Thanks for remembering… As u can see from time of post having trouble sleeping!!! Gonna have to pop that sleeping tablet !! Lol…
C xx
Thanks Lynn…
I know I’m a bit weak, but don’t do stress well… Taken a couple of diazepam to keep me going already… Lying on sofa hoping going they knock me out for an hr!!!
I know I’m a wimp!! ???
C xx
Hi ladies
I’ve posted an update on the erubilin thread, all my fears confirmed today… Skin metsand axilia node positive… onc wants me on erubilin… Back to see diff oncologist on Wednesday. Pre chemo on Friday…
Thanks for the support ladies…
C xx
Hi Corinne. I’m so sorry that you’ve had your fears confirmed, but glad that you have a treatment plan. I have no experience of eribulin, but I really hope that it works for you. I’ll be thinking of you as you start your treatment. Take care. Sending you lots of love and a hug xxxx
Hi Corinne - sorry you’re joining us skin mets ladies. I know it’s such a sickening feeling to be told you have mets. However, it’s good that your team are getting on with things quickly. I haven’t had Eribulin so I can’t help you with any info or advice on that one.
Best of luck with it.
Flo
X
Hi ladies
Appt with oncologist number 5 tomorrow - just to make sure they want the same treatment as onc number 4 ( as a locum he can’t prescribe or make decisions, not quite sure why he’s there to be honest!!)
I’ve taken everyone’s advise and have a full A5 page of questions to ask… Not sure he’s gonna like me!! But hey it’s my life we are discussing,.,
Hope every one else is ok
Corinne xxx
Hi Corrine, hope your appointment goes well tomorrow and all of your questions are answered. Take care. Sending lots of love to you Steph xx