Mum deserted me, friends thin on the ground

Just read you post… you have worries that you really don’t need at the mo…but lifes a bugger and things happen!
Your OH is probably very scared ( some men have a funny way of showing they care) and he’s probably also worried about the business.
Your mum is probably the same ( mine was very similar when I was very ill).
Time to phone homestart/social services/ dr or in our area we have a great organisation called Family & friends. You need support in all directions. Try not to struggle alone.
Thinking of you…

Bethy xx


Sorry to be so blunt about this but if you don’t share your burdens with someone soon and stop missing appointments you won’t be fit to look after your kids or worry about your mortgage. Please pick up the phone to MacMillan and make it a priority. They are there 24hrs.

Jan xx

should i phone my mum and beg her to help, my chemo going ok. but have been in and out of hospital abit, in hospital at mo. kids missing me (lily 5. dan 2) hubby doing best. the kids need stability, and i need some help.
my mum knows i have had two ops and going through chemo. so do my brothers and sisters. but they havent contacted me since november.
In november my mom came to stay then sneaked off home without telling me, i had shouted at her because i was scared.
Dont know what to do, not sure can cope with rejection again, while going through chemo

oh my god u poor thing wonderd how u were doing after chemo u havnt been on why r u in hospital? no wonder u cant cope my advice is what hav u got t lose!!! if they let u down this time then dont even bother again surely no one could do that. let us know whats happening lots of love rozita xxxxx

Hey lilythepink, just wanted to echo what the gorgeous Rozita has said.

You know that we are all here for you too huni - just wish we could give you a hug ((()))

Shenagh xx

Friends/neighbours, someone must help you…have you done all the suggested contacts? have to put yourself first for a while, can you go stay with a friend, family member…Dad will cope with the children then maybe he will understandd your struggle…what area do you live in, maybe even one of us could offer some practical help


Lilythepink honey, if we can help you there are bound to be some of us who will. If you can tell us where you live, someone will be able to offer some support
sending love
monica xx

Hi, I´m really worried about Lily it sounds like she really needs help, I know she lives in Leamington Spa, it tells you on her profile, unfortunately i´live in Spain!!! No bloody good to Lily, but If you do read this lily let some of these women help you, thats why we are all here!
Luv and hugs Teresa xxx

Hi Lilythepink

How on earth have you kept going so long without support?? You shouldn’t have to beg your mother for help - perhaps she just does not understand what you need, it sounds as though, like my mother, she is just so frightened by all of this she does not know what to do! I shouted at my mum when she came to see me and she didnt come back for days, but I just told her why I felt like I did and she started to come round again. I really dont think they understand how it really is and are to frightened of losing us to really look at it. I am sure if she knew what help you needed then she would be able to help. I think sometimes they are just scared of doing the wrong thing. I am doing this without the added responsibility of two small children, surely she would be willing to help you with them??
I am really sorry I cant offer any practical help, but if you would like to talk things through then please please feel free to pm me and I would willingly lend an ear if that would help?

Dena x

Hey Lily, if you get a chance can you let us know you’re OK? As I’ve already said we are all here for you, and you know you can PM me anytime.

Love and hugs

She xx

were all worried not like u lily to not b on line . you must b in hospital hope your ok. remember" we have cancer it dusnt have us "!!! xxxxxxxxx

Out of hospital now, Hubby had to take time off to look after kids, it was a relief for him when i got home as the little monkeys had been playing him up,

I have threatened social services if they dont sort out some help for me i am going to go to the papers, even if they do sort something it is not likely to be for another 6 weeks. Will keep you posted.

Going to email my mum, i know if i phone her i will just cry, and i dont want that. So atleast its done then

Nice to see you back lily, just done get to bogged down, hubby needs to take some of the stress and strain…and let your Mun know you love her, but you are really struggling…hugs to youxx

Hi Lilyinpink, I have just caught your posting and my heart is crying out for you.
I know how you feel though, i have a 3 10 and 12 yo and my family have not been to see me once and phone calls and texts are very very rare. I know my mum is having a hard time with my dad who has dementia but a phone call or tx dosn’t take much.If it wasn’t for my inlaws who i didn’t really get on with prior to last year i don’t know where i would be now they have been a godsend staying with me for my worst weeks while i coped with the s/e of tax. Keep fighting to get help and email your family…fingers crossed.

Gina xx

Lily,did you text your mum? God if I was anywhere near you, I would be pleased to help you.I feel so bad for you and unfortunately I do know about the lack of support from your family,mine are exactly the same.I really don,t know how you young mums cope with your little big ones were bad keep on threatening social services and follow it through if they don,t do anything for you.Personally,I think they are a waste of time but you never know.



Hi, have you looked into homestart? they should be able to help you pm me when you get this i maybe able to sort something out honestly!

no homestart in south warwickshire, nearest one rugby, and they are not prepared to travel to leamington, i have begged surestart, health visitor,crossroads, family services, children services, i am going to have to go to newspapers to name and shame this so called help. Emailed mom as was too scared to phone, no response to email, so time to move on time t

Hi Lilythepink,
I am so sorry that the help is not there for you. I just want to get in my car and come and give a hand. It must be hard having young children to cope with, mine are older and can fend for themselves if they have to. As for the Mum thing I have seen mine twice since my op 8 weeks ago, and one of those was after my sister who lives in australia had a go at her, then she came up and critised the fact that the dusting hadn’t been done and the laundry room needed hoovering, I just about managed to keep my temper!!.
Notice your post was early morning are you not sleeping?
Perhaps you should go to the papers and the local radio,
All the best Liz xx

Hi Lilythepink

I take it you are from Leamington? I’m sure that someone knows someone who can help. I’ve sent an email to my sister-in-law (now in NZ) who I’m hoping knows someone who can help you out.

I think that somepeople are frightened to admit what you are going through and don’t realise what treatment does to the body, they are in denial.

with love


Hi Lily, so sorry things arn´t improving for you, I really wish I could help out, I`m in a different country let alone county.

I would type up a draft and e-mail to the papers, radio stations, but first send CC`s to all the authorites, You might find you get a different response, sometimes they have to know you mean business!!

Try to keep your chin up I know easier said than done!

Oh I found out yesterday starting 6 to 8 sessions of Chemo, first one Thursday!!! AAAARRRRRGGGHHHHH!!!

Take care,

Love Teresa