Hi Delly I have to have nuclear bone scan as they are still not sure what is going on.
HI everyone. Im very late to the conversation. What Mary has described is exactly how Im feeling at the moment. Im also feeling very sorry for myself, the first since my diagnosis in November 2016. I struggled at first, not with the diagnosis, but with the treatment plan - double mastectomy. I fought that, as the cancer was only found in one breast, so I had one removed. I have many ups and downs, and as it stands, I am still waiting on a skin graft to create a new nipple, replacing the one I lost. My work hasnt been supportive and I have been off since september last year. Sorry - thats very long! Anyway, I am now trying to find a new job, which is difficult for a 49 year old woman who is recovering from cancer treatment, I have very little energy. My get up and go, has got up and gone. I feel so anxious at times, it takes my breath away! My family, I think, feel I should be back at work now as I am cancer free, but I actually feel worse now than I have ever felt. I think I probably need a kick up the backside. I even joined a gym and have only gone 3 times in a month!
Sounds like you need a hug so you came to the right place these lovely ladies don’t mind a bit of letting iff steam and have frequently given me a hug and kick up the backside when i have needed one we all have similar stories im nit working atm either never got back made redundant and having some non cancer related upper spine problems and still have got no get up and go im 47 xxx
Im sure our lovely ladies will be along soon to also give you a virtual hug too xxx
Hello Woodsy - sending you a hug not a kick up the behind !!! When treatment ends it’s certainly not the end of the **** is it ? But very hard for those around us to understand the toll it takes and the ongoing physical and mental issues .Its a pile of ?sometimes 
I too have lost my job after treatment left me too unwell and employers decided they wanted shut of me - just been through humiliating process of applying for benefits for the first time since I was 21 - and that’s a long time ago !! Hope you feel better soon - lots of support here from people who understand .Jillx
Hi everyone btw hoping everyone is getting along ok Helena nit long now till your op sebding you a bit of ?? xx
Sorry but predictive text keeps saying nit instead of not ?
Nit very good your predictive text Mishy ?
Haha its really bad nit ? like the Nit nurse ?
Ooh i know what you mean about the benefits thing its demoralising isn’t it in a way makes you question yourself but yeah wolly i ended up being made redundant and didn’t even get a good luck card when i finished, don’t get me wrong while i was poorly i had cards of support flowers and even a collection from woekmates then strangley enough whrn treat ended and they knew cancer was gone i became a distant memory too i didn’t expect a gift as they had already been so kind but it upset me that after a long time working there it wasn’t acknowledged i was leaving ? strange isn’t it ??
Id worked there 26 years - didn’t even get a card - just my P45 !!!
My boss made me use sick leave when I was going through diagnostic tests, despite being owed lots of annual leave and hours already worked. Then I didnt get my wage rise because I was off getting treatement, and when I went back during my treatment, she gave my work away to someone else because I couldnt offer consisitency to the role as I had more treatment to get. Then she said I lied about all of that! BTW i work for a large UK based cancer charity…
You couldn’t make it up could you - they don’t seem to give a stuff once you are not quite up to the job anymore .
so, any advice on dealing with the anxiety and lack of motivation? I dont want to go onto antidepressants - I would quite like to, if I can, deal with this without medical intervention!
CBT has helped me with anxiety and Magnesium oil with sleep I also go for acupuncture.Anti- depressants made me feel worse .
Woodsy thats awful and ironic about work yeah i think once we can’t do our jobs its bye see you later ? i found counselling at my local Maggies Centre an absolute saviour for me in terms with my anxiety during and after treatment i know i could still revisit it too once you have had a diagnosis even if not having active treatment ir finshed treatment and NED so you could always visit them if you have a local centre as gp referal would take ages Jill im liking the sound of thr magnesium stuff and i wonder about the acupuncture as i never tried it
Lots of courses goung on in local Cancer centres for mindfulness anxiety etc too x
The Magnesium oil helped me a lot with sleep - you spray it on at various points around your body at night and rub it in- Supposed to be a lot more effective than taking the supplements - can lead to quite vivid dreams though !!
strangely, I havent lost a minutes sleep since my diagnosis - I find it difficult to get out of bed though. My joints are all sore, which may be because of my age and the onset of menopause (arent we women lucky?!). I have a Maggie’s centre not too far from me so might go along there. My GP has been really supportive of me, and has offered antidepressants, but Im so sick of taking pills and suffering the side effects. What about motivation? Does the CBT help with that? Yes, its ironic that my work have been less than supportive, given what they do. Im trying not to be bitter and see it as an opportunity to move jobs and start afresh, the timing stinks however. Who will want to employ a woman my age, who is returning after cancer treatment and might need to start as a part time employee?
Oh not too long now Helena its tge waiting around that’s worse i find, your work sound fab about it all which is good knowing they support you ?
I keep reminding myself that really my situation with redundancy was for the best in the end as i wouldn’t be able to work with my neck the way it is anyway, im really dreading my app with neuro surgeon as im worrying about the type of surgery involved but i have to be sensible too they wouldn’t want to do it if it wasn’t needed
Just adjusting to life on the other side of bc was hard enough so this should be a walk in the park in comparison to the bc stuff
Helena your op too you will find will also be a much easier thing to get over both mentally and physically xxx
Helena thinking of you hope you make a speedy recovery from your op remember to not over do it afterwards z
Thats unfortunate but at least its to keep you safe, best to avoid people in meantime that might be carrying stuff well the sun is out today i know we are due some strong winds but im going to di a little light pruning in meantime to keep ne sane
I got my scan dates for next wek (head) and c spine 9th October rhen after that i will find out my fate re op
Don’t know about you but i was kind of hoping after the bc stuff surgery and scans would be a thing of the past!
My typos are bad ?