Hi @foxgem
First of all, welcome to the club that none of us ever wanted to join. I completely understand what you’re feeling — the anxiety can be overwhelming. I’ve been on that merry-go-round for decades, and I know just how awful it can be.
Waiting for results, appointments, and treatment plans is honestly the hardest part. You’ve done incredibly well to get yourself this far — your determination to get answers about that lump shows real strength. That same determination will carry you through the challenges ahead.
There are so many wonderful people on this forum, and the advice you’ve already received will make a real difference. I’d also recommend getting a notebook and pen to jot down appointment details and key information — it’s amazing how easily things can slip your mind in the moment. Alternatively, you can record conversations on your phone (just make sure to ask permission first).
Do you have any hobbies you can immerse yourself in? I taught myself to crochet and spent a year making a blanket — it really helped me focus my mind. You mentioned walking, which is brilliant for clearing your head. Even though it’s colder now, the autumn colours are beautiful. I’ve been using a bird app that identifies and plays bird calls — it always makes me laugh when they “talk back”!
I remember someone suggesting you ask your breast nurse for a referral to a counsellor, and I want to echo that advice. I joined the Moving Forward forum and met people who became friends. My nurse also referred me to a counsellor, and those sessions were so valuable — I could talk openly about everything, learn coping strategies, and just let it all out. It was truly cathartic.
Please feel free to message me privately if you’d like. It can feel incredibly lonely at times, especially at 3 a.m. when your thoughts start to spiral.
Wishing you all the very best — and please do stay in touch.
Love Lynn x
Thank you so much for this reply and for the helpful advice I really do appreciate that. This forum seems filled with the most wonderful people. Today is a better day. I’m in fight finding mode
I tried my luck and called the breast clinic early to find out if they had some more info for me. They said my cancer is HER2 negative. I’m not sure if there’s more info I need or not at the moment about the cancer?
It’s strange. I want all the information and at the same time new information is so worrying.
They don’t know my treatment plan yet because of a second suspicious patch they found on the MRI. I think depending on those biopsy results it will mean either lumpectomy or mastectomy. Then chemo, possibly radiotherapy. I assume I’ll also have some kind of hormone treatment?
I’m glad I have more information but my brain is now busy not knowing what to do with it!!!
Sending you all positive healing thoughts
Hey, I am exactly the same, health anxiety diagnosed in may with BC at 39, 2 younger children.
The hardest part I found was being drip fed with results, scans etc.
I had my lump removed, 9 radio sessions & now started taking tamoxifen 2 weeks ago.
Your not alone, but you will be able to do this take one step at a time x
So sorry to hear you were in the same boat as me especially with health anxiety. It is reassuring knowing we arent alone though.
The waiting is excruciating. I know it is for everyone but with anxiety everything is amplified! A few days ago I started getting pains in my lower tummy, straight away my brain thinks I’ve got something awful elsewhere. My rational normal person brain forgot that it was just period cramps!
I have my anxiety to thank for finding this and for making me go back to the clinic even after being told its nothing so I do appreciate my anxiety I just wish I had full access to the volume of it
Well done on getting through your main treatment already. Keep me posted about the tamoxifen. I’m 100% avoiding google for those details
That’s really positive to hear good for you! Here’s hoping things continue as they are for you. I don’t know exactly what medication my mum was on after her treatment but she always said the symptoms were a small price to pay to remain cancer free. She was very determined to do whatever it took. I will try to be the same. I am still very frightened but I can feel my strength growing a little each day.
Thank you for sharing your experience with me
Evening all, I just wanted to give an update on my journey. It also helps me to type this out so I can organise my thoughts a little bit haha
I had my bc confirmed as ER+ HER2- The second patch they found on the MRI scan came back as benign but another biopsy they took of an area infront of it has come back as cancerous so now I have to wait for the results of that. If its HER2- chemo might not be necessary but if it’s HER2+ then they will definitely do chemo. Currently though it’s looking like lumpectomy 11th December, radiotherapy, hormone therapy (tamoxifen for 10 years)
I went into my treatment plan meeting today convinced I would beg them for a double mastectomy given my mums bc diagnosis 8 years ago. But the doctor said a mastectomy at the moment would be an extreme measure because it’s still a small area. He would rather take out the 2 cancerous parts and preserve the boob. If we have clear margins and no spread then I’m well on my way to the next stage of beating this. If not then we deal with it then.
My health anxiety wants me to know all the info and have all the answers straight away and of course id rather just 1 operation, in and out. Clean and easy. No more cancer forever. But I want to trust that they know what’s best.
I realise the potential curve balls ahead of me and the changes that the genetic testing could have to the plan but for now I have a plan. Lumpectomy 11th December.
I still have a million questions and I will still be spending much of my spare time here learning and absorbing as much info as I can. And until the 11th I’m going to carry on eating as much cancer fighting food as I can stomach haha, walk and move as much as I can, be fit and strong for surgery and try to get my family as organised for Christmas as possible.
Thanks to everyone that helped calm me down back when I first came here
So pleased you now have your plan and I can sympathise with you on getting a curveball waiting for more results. I have two separate tumours, one in each naughty boob and thought I’d have a double mastectomy but I have lumpectomy with clear margins and no lymph nodes. I was HER2+ in one tumour so had chemo and Herceptin.
Our go to emotions… fear, dread, panic. All of these are given more space to go wild during a cancer diagnosis! Is there anything worse for someone with health anxiety than having their worst fears confirmed?!
Well my bc nurse said to me yesterday… do you think that you are that unusual? No you are normal. All your fears and worries are justified. There are few people in our position that arent anxious about their diagnosis.
That was quite a nice reality check for me. Its good to be labelled normal for a change
And I was reminded today to remember why we have anxiety. It’s there to protect us, it’s our over protective guardian. And our thoughts are not facts. Being anxious and worried does not mean the worst is ahead of us
Found this tonight whilst starting to spiral. I was diagnosed on Saturday - having thought it was all going to be clear, it came as a massive shock. I don’t have my next appointment until Tuesday and the waiting is really hard. Feeling hugely anxious. It’s been helpful reading everyone’s experience - trying to hold onto all the things everyone is saying. Sorry, don’t know the etiquette here and if I’m meant to start my own thread - this one resonated with me. Wishing everyone the very best for your own journeys.
Hello, I’m so sorry you find yourself here but you are more than welcome. You’ve come to the right place. Im not sure how I would have got through the last few weeks without lurking here.
It is repeated a lot but the waiting is the worst part
After the shock wore off a bit I read through the forum and then just threw myself into doing everything I could to help things my end. Diet, hydration, moving more, watching all the tv shows I love. Everytime the sun comes out I stick my face in it haha. I also found some positive books to read and podcasts. All aimed at treatment, recovery and relaxing. Life paused for a bit but I’ve got it restarted. My attention goes from one thing to another quite quickly but distraction and keeping busy definitely helps me
Sending you big hugs, tuesday will come around quicker than you think. Try to plan something nice for the weekend, even just something small
Dear nms46, welcome to the forum, we are all here for you with love and support, unfortunately the waiting time is endless,
I would suggest you have a notepad to hand, writing down anything that is on your mind to discuss at your next meeting, as we seem to forget the most important questions however big or small, take as much time as needed.
Try to keep busy all very easy for me to say when your feeling so anxious, maybe meet that special friend for a coffee or a walk in the park.
Wishing you well, with health and happiness ahead. With the biggest hugs
Thank you for your messages and kindness. I’m going to try and have a walk and do some cooking. As a problem solver by nature, not being able to do much to move things forward is really hard. So these are some things I can do - I’m just trying to hold onto that for now. I can’t quite believe it’s happening.
Hi love. Glad you’ve had a meeting and now have some more clarity on the path ahead of you. I get your drive to go the whole hog, but well done on trusting the team. I too wanted to go the whole hog and have a double mastectomy, but my team said no.
Hopefully your research and need to know answers (totally understandable) will be sourced from good places such as Breast Cancer Now, where you know it will be reliable, and I’m sure you will.
Yes I’ve done well to avoid googling too much. Actually ive listened to a few helpful podcasts and that has helped. Although no ones story is exactly the same as our own is it
Ive decided to get my hair cut short tomorrow in preparation for the op and if I need chemo I dont want the jump from long hair to short pixie to be so big.
I’m thinking messy, funky bob Why not ay! Very nervous about it
Why not ay! Very nervous about it