Reading all your comments are helpful. It makes me feel as though i am not alone. Had to tell the children at the weekend (13 and 10). It was so hard. It broke my heart. My friend recently died and no matter what i say …
Hello Olly,
So sorry you have had to join us here, but we are all here to support each other, don’t feel that you are just rambling as we all need to do that at a time like this. I’m hoping to get my results tommorow and I’ve been pretty good at waiting for the last week and a bit, but it’s getting to me now and I just want to get them out of the way so that I can find out the next step of my journey. I’ts doing my b----y head in today, the bcn said she would ring me later tommorow, but if all of my pathology reports are not ready I will have to wait another week, so I’m hoping she rings tommorow whatever the outcome.
Everyone on this site is great to be able to chat to, no matter how you are feeling we all have our up and down days and it’s nice that other people know how you are feeling at times because many of them have already been there.
Dawn,
I’m sorry that you have had to tell your children news like this, it’s very hard for them and yourself. I was dx on 27th April and had a WLE and SNB on the 12th.May. I find it hard when other people talk to you and they always tell you about someone they know who’s had bc whether the outcome be good or bad, it doesn’t help I don’t think to dwell to heavily on other peoples journey through this very difficult time, as everyone is different and there are many very good outcomes, we can only be here to support each other, good luck and positive thoughts to you.
Best Wishes to all,
Isabelle xxx
I’m really sorry girls that you find yourselves here. You really are in the worst possible place at the moment. Waiting after the initial dx is the pits.
I’m now 2 years down the road and had surgery, chemo and rads and if I can do it so can you. Just take a day at a time. Don’t look into the future (yet), don’t scare yoursleves silly ‘googling’, and don’t put ‘the brave face on’. If you’re feeling down, take some time out for you.
You will feel ‘down’ sometimes, that’s normal. But you will come out the other side.
Take care and good luck with your treatments.
Mal x
Hi there
Welcome to all the newcomers. As well as the support you are receiving from the forums you may find the BCC resources pack useful. It has been designed for those newly diagnosed and is filled with information to help you better understand your diagnosis, test results and the various treatments available. If anyone would like a copy just follow the link below:-
I hope you find it helpful.
Best wishes, Sam (BCC Facilitator)
Talking to the children is really hard & you know best how & what you want to tell them. My 11 year old boy doesn’t want to know but is very huggy. My 8 year old daughter is full of questions. I bought a really good little book called “The Secret C” from the Winston’s Wishes website. It explains the treatments in very easy language and answered a lot of her fears.
Hello ladies,
When I was on here yesterday I said that I was due to get my results today, and wouldn’t you know it they are not ready and I have to wait another week for them. Does’nt all of this waiting just do your head in ? It does with me, sorry for the rant, but this is the best place to rant that I know, as we all feel the same at times.
Tresanne, I’m so sorry that your children have to be told such news,
It sometimes makes you wonder what goes through their little minds. My eldest grandson was very upset when he found out that I was in hospital the other week and came with his mummy to collect me when I was allowed home. I could see he was very quiet but having a good look around the ward before we left and he took my hand and carried some flowers in the other one for me. I think he was quite happy that I was comming home and he knew where I was once again. (he is only seven) Its very hard for little children to understand these things. I hope all goes well for you and everyone else, I feel especially concerned for those people with small children and everyone else of course.
Best wishes to you all,
Isabelle xxx
Hi I’m also new to all this. I am 28 and was diagnosed on tuesday (no family history so quite a shock!), had a bone scan today, and going for a CT scan tomorrow. Then hopefully off to have the lump and lymph nodes cleared (these also have cancer cells per the biopsy). I have a six month old baby - who I have not been able to hold all day and who I have to sleep in a separate room from tonight. I am finding it very hard, mostly as I am still breast feeding so I’m missing the skin to skin contact so much : but apparently after the scan today I am radioactive so that’s a no go. Roll on the morning when I can cuddle again!! I am finding the scariest thing for me is the thought of not seeing my baby girl grow up and her not getting to know me. It’s tough. Still we have to fight this thing don’t we!! Good luck to all of you who are going through treatment right now - keep inspiring us who are still just at the start of the road, it helps!
HI boydie its never easy no matter what age you are but especially difficult when you have a lovely new baby to enjoy ( and you will ) you shouldnt have this extra stress. you can make up for all those cuddles.I dont have much information about the breast feeding but im sure the other ladise on here do and their is a thread for younger women .Its difficult at any age each of us have different mountains to climb Im 48 yrs but found the hardest thing to do was telling my 25 year old daughter and my parent who are nearly 80 and didnt want to worry them,but i did cross that hurdle and thats what you have to do baby steps at a time ,and we’ll all come through the other side love and hugs to you and hope all goes well xxx
My boys are 9,10&20, it was very hard telling them of my dx in feb, we were very factual and honest and so far they have coped much better than we expected, they didn’t like me being in away in hospital for a week but we have been keeping their routines going. Now half way through chemo they don’t seem to mind hairless mummy either. Quite resilient. I agree the waiting is hard, once you know what you are dealing with it gets better, overall I find it all very surreal, like living in a parallel universe! Best wishes, you will find the forums a great source of wisdom&support! Tina
Hello Boydie,
I’m sorry that you have had to join us on this site.
I hope all goes well with your dx and future treatment. Your baby girl must be very loverly, and caring for her will hopefully keep your spirits up. Keep in touch with everyone here as we all get very good support from eachother on good days and bad.
Take things a day at a time as we all do, and you will be able to look back on this time and know you came through it well. We are all in the same boat here and are here whenever you need someone to chat to or to let off steam to.
Best Wishes
Isabelle xxx
Boydie. Sorry you had to join us. I’m not a mum, and a bit older at 42, but i know there are other young mums on here, about your age and i believe with babies. I’m sure you will soon hear from lots more gals in your situation and know you are not alone
Julia xx
This was also new to me. I was diagnosed at the end of April and after biopsy was told I had DCIS. I was really scared and thought of people I know who have died of it, but I also then remember that I have several friends who were operated on a few years ago and are living full and normal lives . I was also cheered that 78% are still alive after 5 years and this is from a magazine article in the 90s so I think it is even better now, and certainly there are statistics that after 10, 15, 20 or even more years many are still alivc and well.
The positive thing is that you havebeen diagnosed and that they are going to do something about it.
It IS very scary knowing that there is always a fear in the back of your mind but you will also find there are times when you will have been doing sonmthing enjioyable por interesting and realise you havent even though about it for several hours.
Good luick and keep posting.
I am amzied i can type on the compute so son after my op
Hello Ladies,
Well after having a good moan last week about not getting my results on time it was defenetley worth the wait. I thought I would just let you know that it was good news, they have managed do the WLE and I have clear margins and no problems with the SNB, it was clear.
I am now being reffered to the onclogist for my rads treatment and tablets, Femara I think, for five years.
I thought it would be nice to share some good news just to show that its not all bad all of the time!
Best Wishes to everyone and good luck with any results which may be due.
Isabelle xxx
Isabella thanks for sharing your good news with us it is good to hear positive outcomes we seem to always hear the worst. Take care and hope your rads go okay. Joyce xx
really pleased for your good news Isabelle and let me know how Rads go when they start ,as that will be my next hurdle to jump xx take care
Hello Ladies ,
Thanks for the kind remarks.
Juliebtaurus, we will have to keep in touch on this site to compare details about our rads when they start. There is a thread with lots of advice ect. about starting rads and I think I was on there a bit too long last night as I ended up being a bit put off by some of the stories, but we will just have to see how it goes.
I’m just waiting for my appointment to come now for the onc and I’ll take it from there.
I hope that you are having a good weekend, as good as we all have on here, and maybe a bit better.
Best Wishes to you all,
Isabelle xxx
Hello everyone,
I am a posting “virgin” having been diagnosed just two weeks ago. My tumour was detected through routine screening- it is attached to the back of my nipple so I couldn’t see or feel it, the only outward sign being a slight flattening of the nipple. After diagnosis I felt so stupid that I hadn’t realised anything was wrong-this is my body, I should have known something was wrong shouldn’t I? Well apparently not, as the surgeon who will be performing my mastectomy on June 30th can’t feel it either!!
What’s wrong with us women? It was over a week before I shed a tear about my situation, but I spent a good proportion of that time apologising to my work colleagues, friends, children and husband about the inconvenience to them of my projected absence whilst undergoing treatment and convalescence!!
To pajamala can I say I feel calm and positive just now. I had ten days between the biopsy and meeting with my surgeon in which to imagine losing more than my breast, so this outcome is like a gift to me. Having slightly mismatched boobs is not the end of the world-as a bra fitter I know no-one has a truly matching pair!! That’s not to say that I feel great about it- with my op still three weeks away I shall be returning to work and feel as though I am in limbo. What is there to do but be touched and grateful for the love and support of family and friends? If the various experiences all of us are having don’t teach us who and what is important in Life then I don’t know what will.
Love to all of you.
Moominmama x x x
Hi Moonimamma sorry about you’re recent diagnosis but don’t feel guilty that you didn’t find it .I’m a trained nurse as well and no all the signs but didn’t realize that the thickening i was feeling was anything sinister because it was painful and i always thought that if it was painful it wasn’t cancer and the thickening i was feeling wasn’t anything like a "lump " like i imagined it to feel like .You are so right that the love and support from friends and family is all you need and want and it certainly puts everything else in perspective and make you realise whats important to you (we don’t do stress anymore in our house) and we are all stronger and better people.I Am sure your operation will go fine try not to get too apprehensive because it wasn’t as bad as i thought and recovery time was really quick just remember to be good to yourself and accept the help that friends and family will offer you take care and hope everything goes well Julie xxxx and keep us posted on here you will get loads of advice on treatment etc from all these amazing ladies on here
Thanks juliebtaurus,
This waiting time before surgery on the 30th is going really slowly. After four days off to assimilate the situation, I have gone back to my job in a busy city centre shop and life is surrealistically normal. It seems so odd to be going into hospital knowing I’ll feel a good deal less comfortable when I come out!!Still, it has to be done.
Really hope you’re doing well now- thanks a million for your support.
Moominmama x x x
Hi everyone,
I’m new to all this too. (Need to learn all your abreiated terms)
Booked in for surgery on Wednesday for a lumpectomy, and although obviously apprehensive, I feel remarkably calm at the moment, surprisingly so. But I’ve just come through 3 really difficult years after my partner of 16 years left me very suddenly. What made things much worse was that he was also my business partner and everything was very messy. Initially I suffered from depression but dragged myself to weekly counselling sessions that I still go to and they really helped both with the break up and this diagnosis. I suppose I think I’ve coped before I will cope again. Having Breast Cancer does help put other things into perspective too.
Do any of you live on your own? I wonder if there is any information about how to deal with it alone, all the booklets seem to be about couples.
The other thing that I wanted to ask about was diet and exercise, both really helped me with coping with depression and I guess I’m frightened about not being able to exercise.
Anyway big hugs to all you wonderful women,
Celandine xxx