Hi all
Just thought I would introduce myself, names Karen (34) have 3 sons and very supportive partner and have just been diagnosed with bc. All has come as a bit of a shock which Im sure you can all relate to. Found a lump, went to docs and she told me as the lump was moblie and was painful so it was nothing but referred me to the clinis just to be on the safe side. Waited 4 weeks till my clinic appointment then after 2 ultrasounds a mamagram and a fine needle biopsy they told me I had bc. Went bck the next day for the core biopsy and the results i got yesterday were grade 2, lobular type, hormone sensitive and her2 neg. Because the lump is golf ball size now and im not large breasted, best option is mascectomy and lymph node removal. My consultant has said following op he is hopefull to avoid chemo and give me the tablet form (tomaxin??)dont know if thats spelt right sorry. They all seem very positive so i`m am trying to stay upbeat although I have moments of crying completely out of the blue. I am still very bruised and sore from the core biopsy and imagining every ache and pain in my body is the cancer spread - silly I know :)Next appointment 11th may with surgeons to discuss reconstuctive surgery - no idea what I want to do regarding this yet.
Thanks if you got this far
Karen x
Karen, welcome to the club no one wants to join! As you have lobular cancer, you’ll be part of an even more exclusive club, as it accounts for only 10%-15% of bc cases. You will find loads of support and information on this forum.
You are understandably feeling very anxious at the moment, but don’t worry about all the aches and pains. We’ve all imagined that the cancer has spread to all sorts of our bodies (especially at 3am when we can’t sleep). We know that’s crazy, but these thoughts pop into your head uninvited. Having bc messes with your head. You’ll have bad days and better days, but things do get easier with time.
I was diagnosed with grade 2 lobular cancer on 12 Dec 2008. I had to have an MRI and another biopsy, so my surgery was delayed somewhat, but I had a lumpectomy and lymph node sampling on 12 Feb. Thankfully, I’ve avoided chemo, but I’m taking tamoxifen (which blocks the oestrogen that the body produces) and I am waiting for radiotherapy, which starts on 20 May.
When I look back to December, I remember being very scared and confused, but now I feel a very different person. You’ll get used to all sorts of new jargon and in a very short time, you’ll be posting on here, reassuring other newbies!
Hi Karen, sorry you’ve had to join us, but this is the place to get support and the snippets of information the medics forget to tell you, as well as the place to sound off about how bluddddy unfair, annoying, irritating, painful, gut-wrenching, terrifying, misery-inducing and scary it all is. Oh, and to remember that the vast majority of us will survive - not quite as we were before, a little more paranoid, but also a little stronger.
Just wanted to say hi.Like u i am 34 and stay in the Fife area. I was diagnosed with bc in November 2007 and was in complete shock at my diagnosise.I had the lump removed which was grade 3.I then had 4 months of chemo and 4 weeks of radiotherapy.I am now on tamoxifen tablets and will be for the next 5 years. I dont have any children and that was another big issue i have had to deal with, but u never what the future mite hold.I was very scared and confused when it all happened but one thing to come out of it all is that it has made me appreciate my life alot more and made me a much stronger person.xx
Hiya, similar to me! I am 32 with a two year old and a 9mth old baby and i was diagnosed with bc last week.
Lump been there nine months with me being told it was hormonal because i was breast feeding… took three visits to GP to be referred to hospital.
HUUUGGE shock. Not really been told that much apart from it is high grade and that i can have the lump removed and have chemo, endocrine treatment and radio therapy.! Phew…
Not a good club to join huh?
Hi Karen this site is great for support, advice, a friendly ear, a place to moan groan etc, etc!! i have found it a life saver since being on this journey! Sorry you have had to join us, and as salopets sas we are all paranoid!!! love Debs xxx
Hi Karen - its a helluva shock isn’t it?? You’ll have good days and then crap days, I had real panic times and couldn’t even bear to watch the tv as it seemed full of doom etc, just longed to get to bed where I felt safe but of course couldn’t sleep. I found this site helped - and still does obviously as we have all been there - there were days when as soon as I got the kids out to school I went to bed and cried, howled even but we just get on with things, people say we’re brave but what else can you do? My kids are 16 and 10, I’m 43 and was diagnosed jan 7th with grade 3 invasive ductal cancer - most common and had lumpectomy and nodes done at end of jan and then started chemo beginning of march and am now half way through - way hey…its a funny time for sure - most people find when they get the surgery out of the way things start to move on and you feel more in control of things…take care, mary x
Hi Karen, agree with what the others have said,you might find it all seems a bit surreal,I still find that after having diagnosis in Jan , op in Feb and am now having rads. The speed of it all will make your head spin too but whatever worries you have you are in the right place because you will always find someone with an answer to help and this is a huge place of info and support and friendship, keep chatting. Good luck and big hugs.
Sandra x
Hi there and thank you all so much for the warm welcome.
Im sorry you have been though so much and its so nice you all take the time to support a stanger in this way - it helps alot to know the feelings I`m feeling are normal having read your messages.
I`m sure I will be hanging around here with plenty more questions and hopefully support to others.
Thanks
Karen x
karen - you’re welcome, we were all strangers when we first came on here but there is so much support it just keeps you going, its hard for partners and family/friends to be there for all the little worries that you feel daft about or too scared to upset them about…where are you from, a few of us from the shropshire area met up at a garden centre last week for coffee and cakes and that was good…mary x
Hi Karen
Hi , sorry you had to join us here, but like others said ‘welcome’. If it’s any help I think the first few weeks following diagnosis , is the worst and then you get the chance to get your head around it a bit.That first ‘whirlwind’ stage is really tough.
I was diagnosed a month ago with early BC. I’m 37 with two young children. I thought I was too young to get this but clearly not! Will probably be the only thing I ever share with Kylie Minogue anyway!
This site has been my lifeline and there are so many people on here who can offer support, advice and words of wisdom when needed. I feel they are ‘real friends’ already, yet we’ve only met through cyberspace. I don’t know what I’d have done without the site.
Keep positng and take care,
Love Freddie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hi Karen
I am sorry to read of your recent diagnosis. As well as the support you are receiving from the other forum users you may find the BCC resource pack useful. It has been designed for those newly diagnosed and contains information to help you better understand your diagnosis, test results and the various treatments available.
If you would like a copy please go to the following link:-
breastcancercare.org.uk/server/show/nav.718/changeTemplate/PublicationDisplay/publicationId/82
I hope you find this helpful.
Kind regards
Sam (BCC Facilitator)
Hi again
I have read all your commemts - thanks to all for sharing your stories and feelings - it really helps. Thanks also for the info regarding the BCC pack - I was given alot of BCC care leaflets and a folder by my BCN.
my next appointment is not till 11th May with the surgeons - so I for some reason seem to be having a real down period. I think with the whirlwind of finding out, going for core biopsy, back to hosp for results and everyone phoning/dropping in for support, now I have time on my hands and the phonecalls and visits have dried up and I feel in limbo somewhat(I was due to start a 9 months maternity cover post which I was over the moon about getting, but havent started it due to all the time off I will need and it only being a nine month post would be unfair to them)I seem to have alot of time to think and I am just feeling really alone. My partner was so attentive and supportive at first but although not completely this has ‘worn off’ somewhat and the same for family/freinds etc. Its almost like they have all had the shock, processed it and are moving on where as I am still left in the same frame of mind I was on the day of diagnoses. I know this all sounds a bit me me me and selfish and Im prob not explaining myself properly and I`m aware this is a bit of a ramble.
Karen
Karen, of course you’re feeling miserable and “me me me” - you’ve just been diagnosed with BC! Of course family and friends are supportive, but they do seem to move on quicker, while you’re still sitting there with all the thoughts and anxieties and paranoia swirling around in your head. And sometimes they don’t know how to respond - afraid of saying too much or too little, maybe struggling with their own reactions to it, wanting to pretend it isn’t really happening. My OH’s reaction was to start smoking again - which as he has emphysema wasn’t a good idea (he’s finally managed to give up again.) He didn’t want to talk to anyone about how he was feeling - not the BCN, nor come on-line - in the end it was his hairdresser, who had had it about 10 years ago, who cheered him up!
Hi Karen
Sorry you’ve had to join the club, but this really is such a supportive site.
Totally understand the feeling of limbo - time takes on a completely new scale somehow! In some ways - everything moves so fast - you seemed to have gone through a lot already, as you say “a whirlwind”. Waiting for, and then getting the results is stressful. There seems to be episodes where nothing is happening, others where things are coming at you from all angles.
I’m sure your family and friends haven’t moved on, they will still be shocked and do still care very much, it just seems that a lot of people just do not know what to say to you in this situation. My neighbour, who always used to stop and chat if we met, took to scurrying away whenever she saw me!
Karen, your feelings are “normal” - as normal as anything can be right now, you are not selfish - right now, this IS all about you, take whatever you need from everybody to help you. Come on here, rant, rave - ask questions, you will get there,
Take care
Lizzy XX
Karen - its still very early days yet for the shock side of things - I know what you mean about the phone etc and I got really paranoid at times thinking why’s she ringing - for a nosey or what? Its so hard, I know my mum’s taken it hard too, well as mums we can understand how hard it must be to have a child diagnosed with something like bc whatever the age, but she’s been very good and there for me and we actually seem to get on better in a way. My hubby has been great but we had a few bad days last week when I think the whole thing really hit him hard, he has started a new job too so that hasn’t helped the stress but there you go…keep in touch anyway and keep the pecker up…mary x
Hi again 
Thanks ladies. Having re read my post it des come off like i meant I thought no one cared - I think I meant more like they had ran out of things to say which is understandable in these type of situations, I think folk are afraid to say the wrong thing - Id prob be the same. I`m feeling better this evening thanks in part to your support and part to my partner who has to be honest been in a bit of a mood for the past two days (not like him)but has seemed to have come out of it. I need to remember he will be having alot going on in his head too and i cant be expecting him too be the knight in shining armour every second of the day!! I was just having a down day I guess more so cos I was due to be starting my new job today but because I couldnt I guess I was feeling sorry for myself - and added to the fact I am used to being at work every day and being at home seemed to have given me too much time to think!!
Karen xxx
Hi there karen and everyone else on here. i agree this site has been invaluable to me and i have made some great friends, one i even share stuff with on face book, so karen hang on in there and when your down come on here and share your thoughts on here.
After reading your story i was suprised how quickly you got so much imformation. I was dx a month ago, told it was grade 3, 3.8mm. thats it… it was behind my nipple so i had a mastectamy and sentinal nodes removed a week ago. got appointment for results from that on 21st may. That is all the imformation i have. I was told by my BCN they couldn’t tell me more till the lump had been sent off for tests etc
I know what you mean about everyone seams to move on. I feel the same. I had the mastectamy on tuesday, on sunday my sister in law had a baby early. Everyones attention has now shifted. I understand this is an exciting time for everyone including me but i feel like everyone has forgot what i have just been through and that they think because im shearing in the joy of the baby, that i am all better now and the cancer has gone away now. Instead of resting and taking care of myself i am rushing around visiting the baby like everyone else. I think you ladies on here will understand what i mean.
Moan over, take care everyone Luv pauline xxx
Morning all
Pauline, lovely that there is a new baby, but you must take care of yourself, that’s the most important thing right now.
Physically, and mentally, you’ve been through the mill. Take time, rest, BE SELFISH! We are not good at that, - but this is the time to think of youself as Number 1.
Karen, I think, looking back, we all probably said either the wrong thing, or indeed, avoided conversations, with people in this situation. Sadly, the insight comes with experience! We’ll all be here with crossed fingers on May 11th,
Have a good day, all, be good to yourselves,
Lizzie XX
Hi there everyone, just come on for a moan. I have 11 days till results and i did nothing but cry this morning. The best way i can explain why is i just keep wondering who will live longer, me or the pup we have just had. Stupid i know but that is how i feel today. Been ok for the last week, just sudenly hit me i think.
Luv to you all, Pauline xxx