Newly diagnosed with breast cancer

hi, I am 43 and just been diagnosed with grade 3 cancer, I just want to talk to anyone in the same position as me, I know I am going in for an operation on either 11th or 18th April followed by radiotherapy and chemo, so frightened :frowning:

Hi, I am 44 and was recently diagnosed myself on 4th February 2013. I have had a lumpectomy and a full lymph node clearance on 19th february and My lump was 4.9cm and I had 9 infected lymph nodes. I have just had my second round of chemo and am doing ok!
The waiting around in the beginning is definitely the hardest part, the not knowing what exactly it is that you are dealing with. Once you get all your results and a treatment plan in place you will feel so much better and more in control.
The forum is a great place to come for support and any questions that you have, good luck in your journey, take care xx

thank you for your reply, I hope I can help you in your journey too. Like you say I know very little at the moment and seeing as though I was convinced it was a cyst (I had one before about a year ago) so I went in thinking it would be the same and its knocked me for 6 hearing those words, they could have been talking about someone else. I have gone through every emotion going since but now I just want to get this process started, I should find out on Wednesday which date I will have my lumpectomy and then take it from there. How long after your operation did they start treament? was it chemo they went for first, do you need radiotherapy. Sorry for all the questions you too must be feeling overwhelmed by all this at the moment, but if I can ever help, please ask?


im so sorry you find yourself here. I was 43 on diagnosis January 2012, I had a 4 year old daughter, terrified doesn’t come close. 15 months on my life has returned to (nearly) normal, I’m back at work, my hair is back, I feel ok, although struggle with anxiety to a degree. It’s a horrible horrible time right now, I don’t know how any of us get through the waiting for results without losing our minds, but we do. Once you’ve had your pathology results and know your treatment plan you’ll feel somewhat calmer. Please don’t be afraid of chemo, I know some people have a terrible time, but not all, I was ok and managed to work through most of it. Please give the helpline a call also, they’re absolutely fantastic, I would never have coped without them.
If you want to chat by all means send me a pm.
Take care
Lydia x

Hi I call in to the site from time to time. I’m now 2 years on to where you are. It’s ok to be scared. I thought I was going to die and was planning my funeral. This site really helped me and I linked up with others and we shared our fears. I was grade3 stage 3 and had mx chemo rads and now tamoxifen. It’s a huge thing to deal with but keep posting on here and you will find others like you and share experiences. I am out the other side now and although things will never quite be the same I am still me and loving life. Wishing you all the best. x

thank you for your reply, It is nice to speak to someone who has gone through this. Its awful in the space of 1 week how your life can be turned around, I am due surgery on 11th or 18th April after that not sure what comes first but I am down for the local race for life on 19 May - so that is my focus to complete that in whatever state I can ! I am inspired by your story, like you I have 2 children (14 & 10) and fear that I will not see them grow up. Like you say its the waiting game at the moment, I just want to get this started.
I will phone the helpline and thank you for your reply, take care

thank you its lovely to hear from people like you, its the worry at the moment and like you say you think the worst. I will keep posting on here and hope i can help others like you have helped me
take care
ps what is MX ?

Hi, I’m 47 and was Dx (diagnosed) on 5 march with grade 1 lump in breast and lymph node left side. Mx means mastectomy, I’m still learning the abbreviations, there is a very useful glossary on this site, you may have found it by now though, but I’m recovering at home from a wide local excision and node clearance done last Thursday so I have time to kill! Even though I’ve had an op I still feel quite well although I still have a drain in which is a bit restrictive and my arm is a bit numb. you’re right the waiting for results is terrifying, I won’t know until a week today if they got everything out. Anyway I shall remain positive.
All the best,

Hi ladies,
I am now 38 and was diagnosed with a Grade 2 invasive ductal CA in Feb 2012 at 36. I had my chemo first to shrink my lump (it was 5cm by 4cm) then went on to have a mastectomy (no recon) and full node clearance. I then had radiotherapy and i am now on hormone therapy.
I have to say a year on from diagnosis and sometimes i look back and wonder if it all really happened to me.
Once you get a treatment plan - and get started i think it helps - as you feel more in control and there is less of the ‘unknown’.
I Just want you to know things do get better in time. I didnt think i would be saying this a year ago. But… i am still here and have just booked my first big holiday post all my treatment. Its a bumpy ride along the way…dont be afraid to ask for help and lean on people where you need to. You defintely cant do it all on your own. There are alwyas words of support on here too.

Hi I can only add what others have said, in these dark early times you go through so many emotions and particularly late at night when thinks seem worse. You will come through this and like the others in a years time you will be helping others at the start of their journey like we are here supporting you x

hi, s sorry to here your news, but like others have said, the begining of this journey is the hardest once you know everything and all is in place its a little easier, i had mx end of sept, they said i didnt need chemo or radio, but that changed and just had last chemo on thurs, cant believe its april and iv finished chemo, had op and just got rads to come, but i really feel for you as the begining and excepting is the hardest i think, once you can do that your fight will kick in, best wishing to you and hope you find all the support you need, have a rant on here we all will understand xxxxx big hugs

I was dx at 44 with grade 3 cancer, it was a very scary time. I planned my funeral more times than I care to remember. But now I am six years on, aged 50 (what a celebration that was!) and my youngest is 18 rather than just turning 12. Life is good. so there is hope - bucket-loads of it.
Good luck with the Race for Life, it will give you something else to concentrate on. I ran it 3/4 of the way through chemo in 2007, it was really good to have a goal to focus on that wasn’t chemo related.

aww thank you so much everyone, I admire every one of your for what must have been an awful journey at times, I will no doubt as you say “have a rant” on here. I have had a hypnosis session today by a friend today to try and put everything back in proportion but until I know exactly what will happen I am struggling but I will with everyones help beat it. I am learning to accept it now rather than constantly crying "why me " etc, I am told there is no challenge that I will ever be given in life that I can not beat - I really hope I can keep positive.
thank you guys and take care xxx

hi jessiebearsmummy
i’m 48 had diagnosis grade 2 6th feb, mastectomy 5th march, back to work 1st april awaiting chemo and rads but doing very well. i hope you find the strength to get through this awful time and i can promise you it gets better, good days and bad days, i wont pretend its a bed of roses for me just now waiting for chemo to start but its normal life and not as terrible as i thought it would be.
chin up, you can do this!!!
angie xx

Angie - you have done really well getting back to work so quickly. Are you working full time and did you find it difficult going back (physically and mentally)? I am aiming to go back mornings only next week because I find the pain builds up as the day goes on and I am hoping I will gradually increase to full time (which unfortunately in my case is about 11 hours a day).

hi im 43 and was diagnosed on the 2nd jan, had a mastecomy and full node clearance, started chemo in march, ive been advised by the onc not to return to worked during chemo, i work in a busy supermarket in charge of the weekend night shifts, so i am taking that advice and chilling out x

Hi JessieBearsMummy
Sorry that you find yourself here with us all, but glad that you’ve found us, there are some fab posts here and some great advice, no matter how stupid you think your question is or how bizarre your sympton i can guarantee that there will be other ladies here thinking/experiencing exactly the same thing. Its also a great place just to have a rant and get it all out - we all understand perfectly.

I was diagnosed Feb 2012 aged 38, had 6cm lobular cancer, just finished my treatment last month - 3 x WLE surgeries (it was stubborn!), 6 rounds of chemo and 3 weeks of radiotherapy. Took over a year to go through all the treatment, so pace yourself and except that it takes time. Best advice I can give is just to take it one step at a time, don’t worry about the next treatment or what might be coming, just concentrate first on your surgery first. And take lots of time off and put yourself first. That and ask your consultant all the stupid questions you want - I always go with a list otherwise I go blank!

Can’t believe I’m here on the other side giving advice, before you know it this will be you looking back and thinking Hah, I kicked cancer’s ass.

Good luck and take care, Vicky x

Hi Karen,
I was diagnosed with grade III IDC in December and am about half way through my chemo now. The worst part is the beginning between diagnosis and start of treatment. It feels like you are dangling waiting with no way out. It gets better - with each step you learn more of what is happening and soon the treatment starts. Just hang in there and if you need to ask questions then feel free to contact me.
Alison xx
PS - I am also 43

aww you guys are so wonderful, like you say its hard to think at the moment I just want to get started and beat this. I am not always the most positive of people and the one time I went with the positive attitude that it was just a cyst I had not prepared myself for what was a complete shock, I had had a cyst before and told that it could reoccur. Anyhow we have to get on with it, a friend has done some work with hypnosis yesterday to help me along a little. I really do admire you lovely ladies. Yes Alison it is exactly like that you are dangling with no way out. I am sure i have had the usual fears and upset when people who supposedly friends have avoided me - why!!! I have met and spoke on facebook to some lovely people whom I have never met before and they have been so wonderful with their advice and support. Things are starting to happen for me, lots of bloods, scan soon and appointments ready for op. I hope once through the other side I will be able to support everyone like you have done for me, I am eternally gratefull. Love you all xxxx

Hi JessieBearsMummy, if you really want to *talk* to someone who has been in your position Macmillan offers a peer service whereby they can arrange for a volunteer to call you and you can have a chat. You set the parameters, ie. someone who was originally diagnosed with grade 3 IDC or whatever and you can ask that they’ve also had the same treatment that you’re about to embark upon. They will arrange to call you at a time that’s convenient to you and they will stay in contact with you as long as you want. It’s a pretty good service really. I’m so sorry that you’ve had to join this club. I was diagnosed with grade 3 (9/9) IDC on Jan 24th. I was 39 then and was then operated on on my 40th birthday. I’m due to have my 2nd chemo infusion on Friday. I really didn’t want to undergo chemo but an Oncotype DX test gave me a high score (44) which gave the cancer a 30% probability of distant recurrence. This kind of made the decision for me. We’re all familiar with the shock and fear you faced upon diagnosis. It’s awful. I’m taking this journey one day at a time. Some days are definitely better than others. Today, 1/3 of my hair fell out. Feels and looks weird but I guess I’ll get used to it as I’ve managed to get used to everything else about this so far. I once read somewhere (can’t remember who said it) that you should try not to let your mind wander towards the worst case scenario as, if it becomes reality, you’ve lived it twice. I try to remember that and it helps to keeps my mind focused on the positive. Best of luck to you and I’m sure you’ll find lots of support here x