not expecting this news

hi everyone iv just been diagnosed with breast cancer and i have surgery on the 3 april i feel so angry and aggitated im trying to keep it together for my 3 kids and it is very hard

Hi Jaydeek

Sorry that you have had to join us here but you will find it really helpful and supportive. The feelings that you are having are the norm but it does make it really hard when you have kids to look after as well. Good luck with the surgery and if you need to ask any questions just shout there is usually someone about day or night to give you advise.

Sending hugs



Hi So sorry to hear your news, but this forum has really helped me with information and to speak to other people in the same situation. It must be hard with 3 children to look after as well and anger is a natrual reaction to being told you have breast cancer I know I was. I had my surgery on 1st Feb and once things get going you start to focus on your treatment plan. Take care.

April x

Dear jaydeek

Welcome to the discussion forums and as Karen has said I’m sure you find them helpful and supportive at this difficult time. You may also find the Breast Cancer Care’s resource pack helpful, it has been designed for those newly diagnosed. If you would like a copy just follow the link below: or via the helpline on 0808 800 6000 the lines open Monday to Friday 9am - 5pm and Saturdays 9am - 2pm. I hope you find this of help.

Kind regards

hi jaydeek,
sorry you have had to join us.
i was diagnosed in jan 04…it is a very traumatic journey to go through…but you will find lots of support on this forum.
take any help that is offered especially if offers to help with the children are made…you will appreciate the help.

i found a diagnosis of cancer causes a mix of emotions, fear, anger, anxiety, panic, etc.,

karen x

thankyou to everyone i just needed to talk to someone who has been through it

i should have mentioned my kids are 23 20 and 13 so they are a bit older to talk to someone

Hi Jaydeek, so sorry you had to join us. Anger and disbelief was how I felt, i kept thinking that i would wake up and it would all be a bad dream. I was convinced that I would get a call that they had made a big mistake, sadly it never happened. I have kids aswell and it was really hard to hide it from them in the early days as me and my husband could not sleep or eat. I eventually told them a couple of days before my op, My 10yr old was quite upset but my 6 yr old was ok she didnt really understand. I think the trick is to tell them the basics but really play it down as if its no big deal.
I had a lumpectomy, node removal, 6 chemo and 3 wks of rads. If its any consolation the surgery was not very painful and the chemo was not as bad as I thought it would be. Best of luck with everything. I know its hard to keep positive when you are in shock but it really helps. Love Andrea x

Sorry you have had to join us Jaydeek, your mind will be in turmoil, curse cry shout, whatevere you feel like it will make you feel better, I remember crying none stop for a whole day, I had a terrific headache the next day tho :slight_smile: I am 2 years post dx, and found great support on this site. Keep popping by

Good luck with your treatments, you will come through it all eventually, although you may not think so right now


Hello Jaydeek
Sorry to hear you have had to join us, not what anyone wants. I was diognosed at the start of this year. My kids are in their 20s but does not stop you worrying about them. What kind if surgery will you be having in the 3rd April? It is Bl***y hard getting your head round the whole thing. Thinking of you. Take care Alicex

hi jaydeek,
my kids were 25, 21 and 20 when i was diagnosed…my eldest [my daughter] lives with her partner when i was diagnosed their daughter…my grandaughter was 5 mths old…it was really hard missing out on times with her too,…also because they were older [my daughter and two sons] i think in a way it was hard for them too as they understood everything about the diagnosis and treatments…and as alice has said no matter how old your kids are you don’t stop worrying about them too

take care
karen x

Hi Jaydeek,
Sorry to hear to your news, but you will find a lot of support on this site.
The feeling that your having are normal. I was dx in Sept 07 and finished my treatment in Dec. I have 3 children ages 21, 24 & 27. My daughters the 21 & 27 yr old took turns with my husband and friends to drive me to my treatments and handled things very well. My son was a little more sensitive and still is, I get a lot more hugs from him now.
Good luck with your operation, if you have any questions don’t hesitate to ask.
Caz x

thanks to everyone for the repliesi have got to go and see the breast cancer nurse tomorrow for a chat,all my appts are sorted iv got to have my lymph nodes removed and part of my breast ,its just the waiting it is going to feel like an eternity it feels like im on a rollercoaster of emotions i just wanted to talk to someone who knows what its like from suexx

Hi Jaydeek, I’m sorry you’ve had the news we all dread. I’m 51 and was diagnosed 8 Feb after recall from a routine mammogram and had left mastectomy and immediate DIEP reconstruction from my tummy on 1 March. Been home since Tuesday and miss the constant reassurance of having nurses around! What surgery are you expecting to have?

My kids are 21, 19 and 16, old enough to understand, and looking after things at home very well. Keep talking, they may want time to come to terms with things. Mine have been more relaxed since the operation than they were before it, though they found travelling to hospital in the evenings tiring. They have all been happy to see my post-op body, reassured that I’m still ‘me’. Results this week to know what further treatment is planned, the waiting is the worst. xxx

hi palomino i have got to go in the hospital on the 3 april the day before iv got to have radioactive dye under my arm the lymph nodes removed and the lump in my breast removed i went to my gp with a cyst and they found all this

hi jaydeek

sorry you have to join us here but i myself are new have been told the same as well going in on the 1st, don’t be angry with yourself. just think to yourself like i am nothing is going to stand in way my just like a brick wall keep knocking it back. i breed dogs so they are my kids so i am fighting all the way as they are my pride and joy.

have they put you on any tablets and let you know what stage it is as there are 3 stages…

keep in tough i will be thinking of you we can if you want to fight this together.

speak to you soon

liz xxxx

hi jaydeek

Im 34 and have two really young children aged nearly 3 and 6, i was dx on jan 2nd. like you I was absoulty terrified ( cant spell) but as the other ladies have said, you’ll find great support on here, its so ispiring to talk to others who know exactly what your experiencing. BE STRONG AND POSITIVE YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS

sending hugs

Paula xxx Keep in touch

I was diagnosed on thursday with invasine cancer, the lump is 1.5cm and was told I need a wide local excision taking my nipple as well. Then apparently I would have radiotherapy and then tamoxifen as it is ER receptive. I was offered the sentinel node treatment and am going for that as well. My op is on 2nd April. Today the breast care nurse called and said may have to have chemotherapy but she didnt want to worry me. That has made it seem so much worse now as they had reassured me last week it was treatable and curable now Im not sure. Feel really fed up - am marrie d with 2 boys aged 17 and 18 who have been amazing.Hopefully Jaydeek we will all come through battered but fine.

Hi Jaydeek,

Welcome to the club you never wanted to join.You’ll find that everyone is really helpful and supportive here. There are a few of us who seem to be in the same age group,with kids around the same ages, so we all have more than BC in common.I have a couple of friends who have already been throught this and are leading perfectly normal lives. I’ve found this terriffically encouraging and have managed to stay really positive(so far!).

I go into hospital on 3rd April too and have op on 4th, so I’ll be thinking of you.

Take care

hi everyone thankyou for all your kind words, i have been to see the breast nurse today and she has explained quite a lot to me she said that they do not know how fast this is growing or if it has spread , she explained all the surgery to me and the radiotherapy and chemo she told me everything i needed to know its like being on a rollercoaster up and down tears ,anger,agitated, iv had it all since last week sue xx