Don’t think you’re lucky at all… think we’re all really bloody unlucky!!
I was diagnosed in October last year… surgery and radiotherapy etc - oh and letrozole which is hideous…
Thought I’d be dead before Xmas… tbh time and low dose citalopram has helped take the edge off it… it’s awful… it’s like a bereavement I think… you just have to learn to live with it… some days easier than others…
Good luck x
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Apart from being 51 when diagnosed, I could have written what you have. I had the lumpectomy on my 52nd birthday at the end of Dec last year and had the same results as you. I’m about to start Tamoxifen and radiotherapy. I am getting fed up with people telling me, if you’re going to get cancer, this is the best one to get. I am not going to argue that BUT why did I have to get it at all!!! It feels so unfair and I completely understand everything you’ve said. After radiotherapy I think I’m going to try and talk to someone. I was only diagnosed at the end of November 24, so all been a bit of a whirlwind. All I can say to you, is take comfort in the fact the most of us are or have gone through the same journey as you and over time we will get there. Take any help offered and take it a day at a time. Good luck, we’ve got this!!!
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@j72ules thanks for the reply and hope you are doing ok. I had a hair appointment the other day and the hairdresser was like what you been up to….as I hadn’t been diagnosed at the last appointment….so I think it’s easy to forget how rapid this has been for both of us. And also that maybe I should get my roots done more often but maybe that’s for another forum…
I’m definitely at the wobbly stage. Some days I’m ok, others I am crying on and off. I struggled being in the hospital for my first radiotherapy appointment as you are sitting there and you know why everyone else is. All ages, shapes and sizes, all just waiting. The woman who I was there with had lost all her hair from chemo and I felt…guilt? Definitely not this luck I’ve apparently been blessed with. I came home and cried, shouted at my wee girl and then cried some more (I’m not a shouty mum so felt bloody awful). So I’ll be doing the same and seeking some kind of help. Everywhere I look it’s talk about reoccurrence and secondaries and I need to get some kind of filter in my head to process that. I hope your recovery is going well and the radiotherapy is ok. I found the whole thing very strange and I’ve still 9 sessions to go!
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@j72ules Welcome to the forum that none of us want to join but are supported and guided by others experience.
@lambo01 @j72ules So sorry about your diagnosis and as far as talking to someone once you have finished your radiotherapy I wanted to sign post some free help.
BCN have a Moving Forward course face to face to online
- Moving Forward: Finishing treatment can be hard, and it can be difficult to move forward with your life. You can access our support online or face-to-face. Our online information hub and Moving Forward journal provide extra ideas and information. Courses run over 2 weeks, with 2 3.5hr sessions. Or trained facilitators and volunteers are there to help. Find a course near you.
Maggie’s have a 7 week Where Now? Course.
MacMillan have an 6 week online HOPE course.
You can also obtain free counselling at Maggie’s and MacMillan and most hospitals can refer you for Psychology but in my experience it has a very long wait list.
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Thank you for the guidance. Much appreciated
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This is my first post on here but after reading yours I wanted to reply. You said you were diagnosed in November, if you are anything like me the next months are a whirlwind, you don’t have time to think it through yourself and now it’s almost over it’s no wonder you’re feeling like you do. It’s devastating to be diagnosed with cancer and you need to realise how amazing you have been so far and will be going forward. Speaking to someone is a great idea as they are independent and you can say all of those things that would upset family and friends.
My journey is very different from yours , initially diagnosed with stage 2 in March then went to Stage 4 in August with secondaries to my liver but all going really well and have many years ahead of me and my life is absolutely continuing as normal. We all can’t help looking at Google but you can always find some negative stuff on there when there is actually a lot of positive stuff too.
Don’t be hard on yourself, reach out and continue being the amazing lady you already are !
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Thanks for the reply @moyesie, and glad to hear you are doing well despite being in the thick of this. I’m taking a lot of comfort from the solidarity on this forum and it’s becoming clear that everyone’s journey is so so different and reality is, none of us know what the future holds. I’m sitting here a tad emotional as a young lad was killed by a falling tree on the road leaving my village during the storm on Friday…he was 19, same age as my step son, and it’s left me thinking about how much I’ve taken my health for granted over the years, and how I need to get my head sorted as best I can as things can change so quickly. So I thank you for taking the time to reply and the different perspective on things x
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I was extremely balanced after my surgery and treatment and but was encouraged to do the Moving forward course.
I was very together about all I had gone through. I’m medical myself so had a very clear understanding of all that had happened. I counsel a lot with my job.
It actually really depressed me and actually sent me to quite a dark place so I did not attend the second session. It took me a few months to get over how bad it made me feel.
A friend of mine found the experience similar.
I suppose it depends who runs the session and who attends but the people running my course were not professionally qualified or trained counsellors and did not actually move me forwards but very backwards.
So just a different perspective on this ….
Thanks for this. I’m due to start a moving forward course in a couple of weeks time but I might delay it based on your feedback. My surgery and diagnosis was back in Aug and I am slowly recovering from it all with help of 121 counselling.
Thanks for the information. I’ll have a better look into the course as I definitely don’t want to end up in a similar position and thankfully can get counselling through work, so this would always be an option.
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Hi @ggx, I’m really sorry to hear about your recent experiences. Our Moving Forward courses are aimed at people who have finished their active treatment for primary breast cancer. For most people this is around 6 months after treatment – but usually there are a mix of people from the ‘just finished’ treatment’ to a few years past.
Week 1 focuses on ‘looking back’ to move forward – so a kind of ‘what just happened?’ approach - helping people to start trying to make sense of things
Week 2 is about practical tools to move forward, looking at wellbeing and with a Q&A session from a local breast care team.
Our Moving Forward facilitators are not therapists, and are not medically trained. They are there to provide a safe, confidential space. Our volunteers also support our courses, sharing their personal experience
There is lots of signposting to local and national support – our helpline 0808 800 6000 provides support 9-4pm Monday to Friday; 9am-1pm Saturdays. You may also find it useful to try our Someone Like Me service – you can call them on 0345 0771893. You can also access free counselling through Macmillan, by calling their helpline on 0808 808 0000.
Hopefully you will find some good support here on our forum about different things people have tried.
If you’d like to provide more feedback about the particular session you attended, you can email us on movingforward@breastcancernow.org
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Hi, I think your feelings are natural. I finished my treatment at Christmas and signed off by oncology with the usual follow-ups.
I have an overwhelming sense of vulnerability - I have never thought I would die, but I feel the whole thing was unreal.
I looked for groups but haven’t found one, so I have started private therapy. It’s help. Sometimes, my emotions will get the better of me, and I feel I won’t stop crying if I start. I guess I am saying that we have all gone through something challenging. Talking it through does help to process a life-changing event.
I have suggested to the breast clinic that they run some groups facilitated by people who have been through this and are taking this on board.
Give yourself space, its ok to feel they way you do. The pathway for me was very slick and quick bit gave little time for processing have I felt and had very little agency.
Find a group or therapist you can talk through your feelings and good luck
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Hi
I really enjoyed my moving forward course. It was almost a year after my treatment ended and it was just after Covid so that’s why it was delayed
I found it a really safe space to be open and honest about fears and hopes
And felt the volunteers were very helpful. It was two years ago and we still all keep I touch via what’s app group that we set up.
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Thanks for all of your posts ladies. I had thyroid cancer 16.5 years ago and was diagnosed with stage 1a tubular breast cancer in October last year, after a routine mammogram age 50. I finished radiotherapy 3 weeks ago and it absolutely poleaxed me! Really nauseous and exhausted. I had started a new job in September (I’m a teacher/assistant Head of sixth form) and had my surgery very end of October. I’m about to go back and feeling nervous as they don’t really know me, or me them, and I’m not sure how it’s going to go at all. I negotiated tamoxifen rather than letrazole as I’m terrified of the side effects and how they could affect my life but am yet to start that. It only improves my 5 year prognosis by 0.4% but it’s the thought of secondaries/recurrence that frightens me. I just wanted to say hi to everyone and that I guess, we are all in this together. Lots of love 
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Hi sarahjg07, I’m mid way through my radiotherapy and I’ve been shocked how tired I’ve been and generally how unwell it’s made me feel. Glad you are out the other side. Not sure if some of that is the emotional side of things starting to hit as well. Ive started Tamoxifen as well and just wanted to give you some reassurance as I’ve had no side effects so far aside-I’m in week 6 so it might be they haven’t hit yet but fingers crossed it remains ok. Good luck with the return to work, and hope your employers are giving you support as you start back. X
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Thank you so much for that, it’s very reassuring.
I am afraid I did not find the Moving Forward course very helpful at all. It made me feel worse. I felt as if the staff running it were trying their best but just did not cater for the very different diagnoses/ concerns. Additionally, there was one lady who dominated everything giving little opportunity for anyone else to speak.
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@Bookie Im sorry to hear the Moving Forward course was not right for you. I completed one last year and found it helpful. At first I found many people did not want to contribute and a few that did. I can see some might view that as someone dominating the conversation but maybe they were just trying to fill the quiet gaps or were nervously talking. I know there was quite a few ‘quiet’ moments especially on the first week. There were people who had just finished their treatment, others finished 2 years ago and some like me still having antibody treatments after chemo. Breast cancer diagnosis and treatment is so varied, how we deal with the diagnosis and how we can ‘Move Forward’ in life. I think some times the time we attend the course, the mix of people and how we feel at that particular time can impact what we get from it.
I’ve had at least two emails from BCN about my feedback on the course, I hope you also received yours and completed the feedback as the charity and the facilitators won’t know how you felt if you didn’t. If not you can give feedback by emailing movingforward@breastcancernow.org
I have surprised myself how easy I have found talking about my diagnosis and volunteering on this forum, helping others enriches my life.
I hope you have found a way forward. If you need help MacMillan do an online HOPE course and Maggie’s do a ‘When treatment ends’ course.
Take care
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Thank you so much for your reply. I totally understand what you mean about people filling the gaps. Unfortunately in this case it was a lady who had a very early stage one grade one small tumour but was terribly anxious and in need of a lot of reassurance which I understand as breast cancer is breast cancer no matter what and people have every right to seek whatever assurance they need. In this curcumstance however others felt they just couldnt share their concerns as this poor lady was so anxious. I felt that the staff were a little lost and didnt know how to manage the situation effectively to help us all to move forward. It was just unfortunate I suppose but in chats afterwards several of us felt the experience wasnt as good as it could have been. The lady I feel could have benefited from more focused one to one support.
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I found the Moving Forward quite helpful. Unfortunately i only managed to get to the first week as i developed a nasty cough. I am having another go next month. The main thing i got out of it was just being able to chat to people, much in the same way as we do here but it was nice to meet people f2f. There was a good mix of lsdies of various ages and at different stages of recovery. I had only just finished radiotherapy a few days before and i think that was a bit too soon for me as i was still in that treatment ‘bubble’ and hadn’t had time to reflect. I’m hoping that the next sessions will be useful. The facillitator was very good at giving us all the opportunity to speak, but obviously there are always some people who have more to say than others and some who dont say much at all. It is a real skill to be able to manage a group with diverse personalities and needs. There were s couple of people who clearly needed extra one 2 one support and they were signposted to the appropriate services in our area and given lots of reassurance and support, but i wouldnt say it was to the detriment of anyone else. So i can understand that dynsmic of these groups can vary depending on personalities and issues raised that people may or may not feel relevant to them, but the main thing is that you are not alone in having fears and worries, we’ve all been through trauma.
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