Not sinking in

Hi everyone,

I have just found this site, I’ve been reading through some of the posts and thought I would introduce myself.
My name is Sheri and I am 42 married with 4 sons and 1 daughter aged from 25 down to 15. My husband is diabetic and registered blind, I am his carer, and we also home educate our youngest son, who is also diabetic.
I was diagnosed in our one stop clinic on monday, after finding a lump in my right breast earlier this month. All I really know is that they want to operate to take the lump and some of my lumph glands? away on feb 17th. I have to go back the week before to see the specialist nurse for a pre op assessment and chat so I suppose I will get to find out more then. She said I should write down any questions I have and bring them with me when I see her.
The trouble is that is feels like its happening to someone else, I know I’m worried as I just start crying for no reason a couple of times a day, but it feels so surreal…
I hope everyone who is undergoing treatment is ok?

Take care all

Sheri xxx

Hi Rosewillow

I know that you will be receiving support from other forum users very quickly. In the meantime, you might find it helpful to call our helpline, which is a free phone number on 0808 800 6000. This is open Monday to Friday from 9-5 and Saturday from 9-2. The phones are answered by qualified helplners and breast care nurses.

Best Wishes

Hey Rosewillow

Sorry you’re joining us, and at the same time Welcome. You’ll get tonnes of support and info from everybody here. Just scan through and join in when you want to. You’re only two days post diagnosis, it really won’t have sunk in yet and it is very unreal in these first days. You’ve had a huge shock so let your emotions do what they have to and don’t feel strange about that. Time does help with this bit. It does come clearer and you find your own focus for dealing with it. Sounds like your surgeon is moving things along fast for you, which will be a big help. I was diagnosed 16 Dec, op 24 Dec for lump and a few nodes. Thankfully no spread, but I still have chemo for 6 months then radio, and then drugs for 5 years because of my particular set up. I had my first chemo dose yesterday. There are loads of us started this journey not long before you, and many more who are way down the line or out the other end. Don’t feel alone, particularly with the things you don’t feel you can discuss with family and friends. You can do it here.

It’s a good idea to write down any questions you have as you go along, so you don’t forget them, even if they sound daft to you. You’ll have found the answers to most of them before you even get to surgery.

It’s a tough time Rosewillow, but it will get easier to deal with.


Hi Sheri

Sorry we are meeting here and in such rotten circumstances, but also welcome. I’m not far ahead of you, I was diagnosed on 17th Dec, lumpectomy and node clearance on 22 Dec. Luckily my nodes were clear, but my next few months are mapped out in the same way as Carole’s, even down to the same chemo drugs and longer term hormone therapy plans. I don’t start chemo until week beginning 23rd Feb, though, because of problems with my wound healing.

The shock is massive, but it does wear off a bit. I won’t say totally - I still have the 3am Grims at times where I can’t believe this is happening to me - but that horrible, unreal numb feeling does wear off.

It gets a bit easier once you know where you are in terms of total diagnosis and treatment plan etc. Meanwhile post away and talk to us, we know how you feel and we’re all going through it with you every step of the way!

Gennie x

Hi Carole and Gennie,

Thank you both for answering my post, I must admit I’m feeling very isolated at the moment… My daughter went to pieces when I told her, she is nearly 21, and like me she just thought the lump was a lump, I even apologised to my consultant for wasting his time when he was examining me! Boy did I feel daft when he sat me down later to tell me it wasnt good news about the lump :confused: … That’ll teach me wont it??? lol
The depression has pushed away all the friends I did have as it has led to me being very hard to like at times, so I dont have anyone but my husband to talk to, which of course is not good for either of us now. I feel I should keep how I feel away from him, put on a brave face, as he has enough to deal with…
I have been reading some of the posts you have both written, I think the Storm Riders are brilliant :slight_smile: you go girls ;D

love n hugs

Sheri xxx

hi from me too - a sore me…had my lumpectomy and node sampling today - was home by 3pm…off to bed for a sleep now…the shock is horrendous - I was acute anxious for at least 5 days and a wreck - gp gave me some sleeping tabbs which I took half one first as I couldn’t sleep and it made all the difference and didn’t dope me like I thought they might - only had 2 nights on them but have them if needed - also took them after the core biopsy a week later as I really stressed again…will post more tomorrow - off for a kip…xxmary

Hi Mary,
It sounds like you have had a real humdinger of a day, hope you get a good nights sleep and I look forward to chatting to you… Take care,
love n hugs
Sheri xxx

Hi Rosewillow, Carole, Gennie, Kittenkat…and all,

I’ve just started to use the site too. I was dx end of November so have had my lump out ( no spread) and am now having chemo ( 1down 7 to go). Dont feel the need to be too brave Rosewillow it is a massive shock…expect to burst into tears at the strangest times. Accept help and hugs wherever to can get it in coming months.

Im 43 with an 8 yr old son. I got divorced 2 years ago but am lucky enough to have a fab man to help me get through this.For the last 2 months I’ve been apologising to him for putting him through all this, I worry about the effect this might have on our relationship but of course he tells me not to be so daft. Anyway am not apologising anymore its not my fault and I would be there for him. no matter what.

Looking forward to chatting and getting us all through this.

Lots of love to all

hi sheri - how are you today - I’m sore and achey but getting there! I had to wait 3 wks to the day for my op…


I just want to say that I share your deep shock, sadness and concern. To have been told that you have cancer is pretty traumatic. It is perfectly natural that you could burst into tears at the thought of it. It happens to many of us. I felt surreal when my consultant broke the news to me. Me with cancer??

The only difference is, I had my diagnosis well before you, that was in August 2008. Believe me, as time goes by you would somehow harden up and accept or got used to the idea that you do have cancer - and you just have to do all you can to get well. I am now able to deal with it much better, that’s why I dropped this note.

I remember the endless sleepness nights, the nerves, the deep sadness and the confusion. Now you just need to research all the information about your particular cancer. Having all those information helps you to decide the choice of treatments and the best possible tips for recovery. Remember that you are not alone. Good luck and wishing you a speedy recovery. It will be easier as time goes by.

With best wishes and love,

Hi, can I join your club please ? I don’t know if I’m coming or going at the mo. Took me and my lump off to the docs two weeks ago thinking and hoping would be told “dont be daft you still have lumpy boobs like you had 17 years ago” but not so lucky.Was at breast clinic tuesday,had mammogram,ultrasound,needle biopsy and core biopsy,told that needle results inconclusiveand had to see main man today for core results. Unfortunately, not good news,I have breast cancer ! AAAAARRRRGGGHHHH ! All I was told was it grade two,have got two options tho,either have whole breast off or just take out lump,leave a clear margin and have 3 weeks of radiotherapy, dont know if spread to lyph nodes or not yet. Have been told that for either option the reoccurence is the same ,so down to personal preference,any1 else have this experience? Don’t know what to do, but don’t have to decide till day of op, 22nd feb,Can’t believe the speed of all this… big hugs to all who need it,please come say hello,thanks x

Hi Sheri

Sorry to meet you in this awful way, I was diax on 15th December & am waiting for a op’for a lumpectomy with a clear margin & sentinel lymph node removed, trouble is I live in Spain & I don’t really know how it works here. I had blood tests xrays & cardiogram today & have to go back for results next Wed & if all OK will wait for a date!!!
I know what you mean about crying, do it all the time & I hate anyone to see me vunerable. This site is a life line anything worrying you just post it & someone will know the answer.

Good luck let me know how it goes.

Maggie (Magel) x

Hi Sheri
How you feeling today? Don’t feel bad about feeling bad. You really need to just get through this first phase, and your friends that are friends will be there when you’re ready. You’ve probably worked out that this bit is what we’re calling the Desert over on the Storm Rider thread. It’s the long, hard slog from diagnosis to knowing what’s happening and what you need to do to beat this bugger! And it is tough. But you can do it kiddo.

You too Sandra. Horrible day for you this one. I got the same choice, well actually my surgeon said she’d take it off if I wanted it off, but the recurrence stats are the same if you just do the lumpectomy and margins, provided of course the surgery results don’t indicate that you just have to go to mastectomy. She advised the lumpectomy because where my tumour was would be easy to conserve the breast without too much change. I decided to go with her and now have just a little bit of a squinty boob. However, I’ve said and still do, that if I get anything back in either boob, they’re both coming off. Let yourself just mull it over for a wee while, the answer’ll come. I have to go to chemo then rad, and just started the chemo on Tuesday there. All to do with my age (45), aggressive tumour, even though it came out clear with no spread, and other stuff they calculate for everybody on an individual basis. Take it one step at a time, try not to think too far ahead.

Hi Magel
Stay as relaxed as you can. And cry away. I just ended up with a sore throat for a week trying not to cry while waiting for my op.

Hi MissPiggy and Lally. Good to meet you!

Hi again Mary. Remember to take it really easy for the next few days, and call your BC Nurse if you have any concerns at all.

Hi Sandra - I remember all too clearly the way you are feeling right now, I was diagnosed on 17th Dec and had lumpectomy and node clearance on 22 Dec. I was also given the choice of lumpectomy or mastectomy and told the stats were pretty much the same either way. I asked my consultant what he’d do if I were his wife and he said he’d go with the lumpectomy.

I’m glad I did, because although I do have a fairly significant dent in the lower left quadrant of my boob he did get clear margins and I still have my boob. My tumour was also grade 2, 35mm and oestrogen positive. Most importantly my nodes were clear.

I was originally told if they got it all out and no spread they’d just go for rads but because of my age (41) and the fact that my tumour was bigger than 2cm there is apparently an appreciable benefit in terms on non-recurrance by going for chemo as well so that’s what I’m doing, starting in about 3 weeks.

Take it one step at a time. Allow yourself to feel however the heck you want and need to feel - there’s no right or wrong way to deal with this news but we’re all here going through it with you, every step and we’ll all get through it together.

Gennie x

Hi Ladies,

How are you all this evening?
I think it is finally starting to hit me, I keep saying “I have breast cancer” in my head, and I just suddenly felt a huge chasm open up and I wanted to just fall in.
I dont even know what type of cancer I have? I dont know how to find out :confused:
Has anyone ever refused chemo if it was suggested? I just worry that if it comes back I will be left with no options, I suppose I will just have to go with what is suggested by the consultant, he is the expert… I just dont know how the household is going to run if I get knocked for six by the chemo…
You all seem so strong, and have such positive attitudes, I hope I can reach that point aswel… How do you do it?? I find myself wanting to talk about things all the time, my poor hubby, I could talk the hind leg off a donkey at the I carry on like this for much longer :confused:
Will I be able to drive myself to the hospital for my radiotherapy and chemo?
So many questions keep popping into my head, I must find a notepad to write them all down, or my mind will be completely blank when I go for my pre op in a couple of weeks… I suppose a good first question would be, what type of cancer do I have??
I just so glad that everyone on here is so lovely as I thinking I’m going to be coming to you all an awful lot to get through this, I apologise in advance for all the weird ramblings still to come :wink:
Ive got to sign off for now, have a good night everyone…

love n hugs

Sheri xxx xxx xxx

Hi Sheri
Ramble away! It’s a strange phrase to have to apply to yourself, but being able to say it is a big step towards getting your feet under you for the fight. And I off loaded to H for a whole week. You can’t help it and you need to do it. Your thoughts whizz around in there, your worries. No point in bottling it up. Just give him a break if he starts snoring! :smiley:

Unfortunately they won’t know what type it is till they do the surgery. The thing to focus on is that they’re doing the surgery really soon, which is great. I’ve not heard of anybody refusing chemo, but I would say take it if they suggest it. Your family will cope. Also, chemo hits everybody differently. The anti sickness meds are great, and you don’t necessarily get everything that’s listed as a side effect, or get it bad. In the end though, if chemo is the thing that stops it coming back, do you really want to turn it down?

I’m driving myself for chemo. Obviously it depends what you get, if you get it, and how that affects you immediately after dosing, but I get what’s called E-CMF and there’s no problem for me driving after it, I feel totally normal till I get a bit tired in the next few days. Even then I’m driving, although I’m planning that for the hours I feel most alert, just to be safe. Rad shouldn’t be a problem either. My friend drove herself 40 miles and back everday for 4 weeks. I really need to drive myself there to keep my sense of self and independance.

You sound like you’re doing really well Sheri, don’t beat yourself up. Each day as it comes. Speak to you later, I’ve got to get ready to go for wig fitting! Now there’s something I never thought I’d need to say. :smiley:

hi all, good morning…I had a crap night but am going to have a lazy day today and rest, my op was only this wed so I know its early yet…when I was in on wed I met a lovely lady who I had met previously at the initial clinic appt - she had 2 fna that were inconclusive and also a core biopsy that day that came back as normal tissue a weel later - but cons said he was 99.9% sure there was something going on but he had missed it - the mammo and scan and radiologist agreed with him, so poor shell had to have the lump out but no node sampling and has to go back next wed for results - she’s not elling people as she doesn’t know what to tell them…and I suppose there is always that little bit of hope there even if it is small…all in all its a crappy time - I always thought i’d be looking after people not getting something like this - not that I’m ill or need looking after but you know what I mean…
one day I’m positive then I have a crap day and I suppose it’ll go like that for a bit…take care, mary x

Hi girls…quite a few of us now…Holla ( not sure about spelling but you know what I mean)to Maggie in Spain hope the sun is shining there too.

Sounds like we are all roughly at the same stage ( Misspiggy you are a pro… are you all done?)

I’m 43 so once again an expamle of small tumour 18m no spead but 6 months of chemo ahead. It feel like a sledgehammer to crack a nut but they must know what they are doing. My constant query is over the fact that the chemo regimes are so varied. I’m on Myocet/Cyclopho…x4 then taxoterex4?

i had my op 3rd Dec and the scars are really good…bit lumpy but not a bad result… Thinking of all you waiting on results and trying to make big decisions. I think I prefer there not to be a choice in a way?

Hope you start feeeling a bit better Mary…one hurdle down kid!

Sheri…you will cope, your familiy will rally…kick ass girl!!
love and hugs ( on the good side)

hi lally - what did you have then surgery wise? Mary x

Hi Mary,

I had a lumpectomy and a sental node thingy which was all clear…was in huge amounts of pain after I got home so had to go back and strong pain killers from hospital!! Went every shade of purple/black and blue…how are you doing?