Hi, thought I might start a thread for all those who have been recently diagnosed. Looking forward to meeting some new online friends to help us through the darker moments and also share the lighter and potentially funny ones (hope there are some!)
Love to you all going through this horrible time, Jacqui x
Hey Jacqui
Sorry to learn of your Dx.
I was Dx’ed in September but I just wanted to offer you a sisterly (((HUG))). I started Chemo in Nov.
Best place to be is here, so much support and advice.
Thank you Libralady, I do need the support. Everyone is saying how strong I am but it is an act. I really feel scared sh*tless. Have decided to go with the chemotherapy that was offered to me as I do not want this thing back again, but knowing that no-one can guarentee it not coming back. I don’t know if I’m going to put my body through months of poisoning it for nothing. Sorry just feeling down at the mo as have told the hosp today that I want to go ahead and feels like I’ve just got onto a huge rollercoaster. Have had any chemo or RT?
Hi there,
I was diagnosed 1 sept and thought I’d be with the October treatment group but this disease is so different for each of us, our treatment centres and even doctors are so different. So I got through all the tests despite being a total wimp, and I finally had my surgery 12 days ago.
People say ive been brave, but I haven’t at all. I’ve had some very dark moments alone, but now and again you have to share pain with someone and let it all out.
This forum gives you an insight into BC that you can’t get anywhere else, i knew nothing to start with. It’s a great help in seeing people come through the most challenging times.
Hope all starts to be sorted out for you soon, don’t be afraid to admit your worries or to ask for help and advice.
Hugs,
Lynette
I was diagnosed on 15th November…its been a bumpy emotional rollercoaster so far. I’m due to start chemo next week.
hi there everyone, would be good to join in this thread to give and receive support . diagnosed 17th nov.
like you too shadders i too think i need the support. i am struggling still to be able to speak to anyone other than bcn and husband and mum and dad about this. only boss at work knows and i have said at moment i dont want colleages/friends in office to know - i just can’t cope with their reactions. i don’t know why. i still haven’t spoke with friends outside of work. and at some point i am i know that i am going to have to. but just dont know where/how to start.
i think its because i am just focussed on the treatments/steps i am having to get through and i can’t deal with anything else or anyone else.
has anyone else felt like this. any advice??
shadders what was chemo decision - was just given straight option or what ?? must have been really difficult.
xx
Shadders - we all need the support - its the most devastating news to hear those words “Im sorry, it is cancer” - words none of us ever thought we’d hear - but, here we are going through it. I was firmly in the “it wont happen to me” club, clearly I lost my membership 
Im currently having Chemo, ive had 2 of 8, then I will have an Mx then finally Rads.
Long road…will travel.
Hiya girls
I was diagnosed on 17th Nov (the worst day of my life so far when he told me it’s cancer). I had my first FEC last friday and just try to recover from the side effects from that. I get 3 X FEC and 3 X Tax then mastectomy and then radiotherapy. I’m very different, I tell everyone about my dx who walks across my path, well not that bad, but nearly. I’m normally not an extrovert at all, but partly I have to as I’m self employed and have to cancel customers just now and I tell them why I can’t honour their appointment. People have been great, genuinely sorry and some offering help like only friends do and not customers. At first I found it difficult speaking about it though, but now I can speak quite freely about it.
Christine xxx
Hi I was diagnosed on the 4th of Nov. fell apart for most of that weekend and then became calm.
i had my Op on the 29th of Nov ( a WLE and reduction on the other side)
I too(like christine)have told everyone about my condition, well family , friends , work colleagues etc. I work in a school so gossip travels fast!! They have all been fab and supportive and after I’d told one person it became much easier to talk to others.
I have been told how positive i am and how wonderfully im coping, but inside sometimes i’m not. Im scared too.
Tomorrow I go for results and what is going to happen next, chemo , rads etc. I feel the Op has been the easy part, the hard part is next.
Wish me luck Gill xx
Hi all,
I was diagnosed in March and have done chemo, just finishing off my radiotherapy now and wanted to add a comment for Tommyticklemouse about whether to tell people or not: I made a list of the friends/family I thought would be upset if they heard about my BC from someone else and rang them three people per night for four nights until all the calls were done. After that I let the grapevine do its thing. It was exhausting but it got it over with.
When I don’t feel I can face people’s reactions I just stay in. I think if you don’t feel like doing something when you have BC you are entitled to not do it.
Interestingly, you find out who your true friends are. Most people are brilliant. The people who can’t deal with it have avoided me, but this has been more than compensated for by the people I didn’t think I knew that well, who have helped me in so many ways.
The hardest thing for me is when people are too sympathetic. I have to try and move the conversation onto something less emotive.
This site has been a real support too.
Best wishes with your treatments all of you.
x
I know that I am not supposed to be here, but I just wanted to offer my support to all you ‘November diagnosed’ out there.
This Thursday I will have the last of my 15 rads which have followed my mx mid-April, then my chemo of 3 FEC and 3 docetaxels and also my on-going herceptin, so other than the herceptin I’m nearly there!
Keep smiling and remember that all of your treatment is ‘do-able’ and you’ll all get there in the end so good luck to each and every one of you.
Merry Christmas and let’s hope for a better year next year.
Mazzalou x
thanks starlight67 for that. i think breaking it up and doing it a bit a time may be the way to go. its probably because it seems so overwhelming the thought of all the people to tell, i just think to myself i can’t cope with it all so it seems easier not to say anything to anyone.
i have been upset and emotional since finding out, but today i went on facebook just to look at what people had been upto just for sumat to do. And all of a sudden i felt angry. angry at them all for going along with their lifes i suppose, going onabout buying xmas presents and xmas meals or just normal boring things. but i felt angry because i thought they have no idea about this c***. and actually they don’t know because i haven’t told them!!
i know other people on here have said about feeling angry as well as upset. and today i too have felt this and it made me cry. now i am worried about telling people and maybe feeling angry with them. then i think well i am allowed to feel what ever i want, but whether other people who haven’t had this will understand that i don’t know.
hopefully the true friends will come through for me. i do hope so. i am lucky in that my husband is the best. my mum and dad have been keeping me going as well.
sorry to bleet on.
xx
Hi all. I was diagnosed 29th Nov with DCIS and now waiting for sentinel node biopsy 22nd Dec. As things stand, know I will have an mx and reconstruction early next year but waiting for biopsy results before I know what else I might need.
Feel so much better seeing your comments as I can relate to them all. I have been told I am being so brave but am inwardly very scared. I want to make it easier for my family and friends with the brave face. Have not cried once or got angry but am sure that will come.
Hugs to all on this journey and look forward to hearing how we all progress. The support from this forum should be a great help to us all x
I’m having a bit of a low day today but no-one around me understands. Its hard to keep the smile on my face and pretend I’m ok when I’m screaming inside.On the advice of my breast cancer nurse, I had my gorgeous long hair cut short today in preperation for starting chemo next week. Everyone says “oh its only hair, its not forever, it will grow back” but having it cut off has made me feel really sad. Sounds silly getting upset over “just my hair” but its MY hair, and I loved it.
Wow, thank you everyone for all your responses it’s so good to know that others are out there going through the same emotions. Well not good for you but you know what I mean.
TommyTM
I love your user name! I have told everyone because I couldn’t stand the speculation that comes when you work in a very small school like ours. We are like a big family so I didn’t feel awkward telling people and I told everyone almost at the same time cos I didn’t want some to know before others particularly when I work closely with them. Have you got a close colleague you could tell or friend you could ask to tell others. That’s what I did. My best friend told most of my circle of friends so that I didn’t feel like I had to repeat myself over and over. I had to face a good few phone calls over the next few days but people have been so supportive. I am not a very emotional person and I think that has helped me here though my sis says I have a heart of stone [she cries at Monsters Inc.!]. She is worried that I haven’t faced up to it yet and maybe I haven’t but I don’t seem to want to cry. I did when I was first told and was tearful and angry next day but since then seemed to have put on a coat of armour and am trying to get the most out of life. Most of the time I forget about the bc but then someone asks me how I’m feeling and I feel a pang of irritation as I feel reaaly weel in myself. I have to remind myself that they are being kind. You don’t want to think about it 24/7 though do you? Anyway rambling as usual so please feel free to pm me. Chemo was offerd to me as will give me an xtra 3% [takes me up to 90%] chance of being cancer free within next 5 years. Also ER+ and apparently that makes a difference.
Debbie, sounds like your hair is a major part of who you are and now you feel as though there is less of you as your hair has gone. I think it’s natural to feel upset. Some peple feel as though they have to say positive things when really you need people to accept that you might feel sad and that’s ok. Don’t know how I’ll feel yet when I have my hair cut but it’s in a kind of shaggy bob anyway so won’t be too different. At the mo am more worried about the tiredness and sickness as have 2 children.
Christine what were your se’s? I also found it easier to tell people the more I told. It also gives you strength when people tell you of someone they know who has had it say 20 years ago and is still cancer free. Well it does me anyway.
Lindyloo how did it go today? Sorry have only just read these posts. I also work in a school and have found everyone very supportive. What are you telling parents? I ummed and ahhed over this one but decided it’s best they are told the whole truth as a] it usually gets out anyway and b] parents will make up all sorts if they don’t know. I also thought that if I do go back in to read a story or whatever parents might freak out a bit if I am bald though will wear a scarf.
Starlight and Mazzalou thank you for popping in It’s so good to hear from others who have come through it. And I second your sentiment re next year!!!
Well I seem to have gone on …and on… sorry!
hey shadders thanks for that great post - and you didn’t go on and on at all. it certainly helps me to hear everyones thoughts and feelings on this - reminds me that i am normal and not going mad.
you sound positive with your treatments ahead of you so that is good. a lot people say on here that when things are in motion and start happening that it gets better. i do hope so.
the user name is after my cat i used to have called thomas - he walked round like lord and master and i used to refer to him as Sir thomas ticklemouse - very silly i know!!
btw think i may have shed a tear (just the one) at monsters inc! i refuse to watch marley and me point blank!!!
when does your chemo start do you know yet. and will you be having tamoxifen with the ER+ then - if so when do you start taking that.
speak soon - take care xx
hey debbieB
how are you today, you were having a low day yesterday and thought i would check in on you.
hope you have had a bit better day today. sending you a big hug.
hows you other november diagnosis girls doing - hugs to you all.
xx
I hope you don’t mind me butting in.
I was dx over three and a half years ago - in some ways it seems like yesterday and in other ways… it’s a lifetime ago.
When you’re first DX it’s so hard to get your head round it. It feels as though someone has pressed the pause button on your life … it’s on hold…and it is until you’re over your treatment and getting on with your life. When first DX I planned my funeral. Really didn’t think I’d see another year. Here I am with egg on my face. I’m still here over 3 years later!
I looked at my favorite bush in the garden, which only bloomed in May, and thought I wouldn’t see it the following year.
These thoughts are normal, I’m sure.We all feel like that. We’re all scared at the prospect of chemo and want to just run away. But it’s honestly not that scary.
It’s not pleasant, and some of us have more SE than others, but it is manageable. I felt rough and had a lot of SE but still managed to work (on reduced hours - not sure that was a good idea). Make sure you have something to look forward to on your good week, otherwise just batten down the hatches, mark the dates off on the calendar and you’ll soon be thro’ it. Listen to your body. It’ll tell you when to rest, or when a particular food doesn’t suit you. Just listen.
Chemo is a bit like labour in that you soon forget.
Hello Ladies
I was diagnosed 3 weeks ago and had my core biopsies Wednesday. I was told that I would have surgery early January to remove the growth (2.5cm). It is amazing to see so many of your thoughts and fears are put into words by other ladies and I found it made me feel much better within myself. I do feel a lot calmer as I did a few days ago thanks to this amazing site. Hope you will all manage to have a nice Christmas.
Alanaa
Tommy TM
Your post about Marley and Me made me laugh as last April my daughter and her friends sat crying all the way through as she chose it as a dvd to watch for her birthday sleepover!
I still don’t know when my chemo will be but have the pre assessment apt on Weds. They did suggest starting on 20th but I balked at that as could be ill over xmas and I want to be able to enjoy being with family. They said we can discuss on Weds.
Hope all of you are feeling well. How are you Debbie?
Jacqui