Sorry, just re-read your post. I’ve had temporary inflatables put in and will exchange them for DIEP in 1-2 years.
Can’t say much about them as they are flat at the moment and all bruised and swollen. Will get my first ‘inflate’ in a month.
X
Judes:“i have private health insurance through my job, that’s probably why i have a choice. but i thought you could get the inflatable one on the NHS too? no chance for you?”
I’m on AXA with work, too. I can’t have a recon for medical reasons; there is a strong chance of a recurrence in the first 2 years and they want to have a clear view to see what’s going on.
If I stay healthy, they can look at one in two years or so. BUT will I want another big operation then? Will I have got used to the massive asymmetry?
That’s the dilemma…
Sandy-glad you’re okay xx I had the blanket thingie too. Think I lost about 3lb in sweat!
Judes-sorry to hear your news-I am thinking of you.
I am getting used to being flat and have worn my new friends every day. Still finding it hard to do exercises with right arm (node clearance side) but am amazed at how quickly the body heals itself. I feel really good 2 weeks after op , am driving and have been on school trip today with my class. Just find it hard to sleep due to having to sleep on my back.
Hi Ninja:)
Love Rach x
i sympathise rach, so bloody hard to sleep on my back. it sounds like such a simple thing but it’s not!
and ninja i know what you mean. i’m agonising now about decisions re reconstruction etc but i imagine, well i know, that in a few years time i’ll have accepted what’s there and be focusing on other things.
someone i know told me how she laughs now when she remembers how upset she was about losing her hair. when, in the scheme of things, a temporary loss of hair is not something to fear. not that i’m not fearing it of course, i can just, every now and then, get a glimpse of how insignificant it really is. (my eyebrows, that’s another matter!)
love to all xxx
ps let me know how the inflatables go sandy toes. i didn’t realise you could combine that with DIEP. so much research required …
Judes, am having the inflatables as a temporary measure during rads. There is a chance that they could get affected and have to be taken out, but I wanted to take the risk as didn’t want to be completely flat… Then once my skin and tissue has settled down after rads I’ll have my DIEP done.
I’m finding it really difficult to sleep on my back too. I usually sleep on my front…
X
think i’m going to do the same sandytoes - get the inflatables for now and then see. not sure i will do the flap tho. you’re v young aren’t you? i’m 45 and have made peace with some bodily imperfection.
my surgeon said it was better to have the inflatable done before radiotherapy anyway, because your skin and muscle will expand better. if you stay flat till after then do the expansion it can struggle. i said i wouldn’t mind being flat till after rads but she didn’t recommend it.
this time yesterday i was so devastated at the prospect of mx, today it seems like a bit of a blip in my recovery. am i in denial??
xx
“didn’t want to be completely flat.”
Hmm neither did I, actually!
Though, TBH, this seroma is a full A cup so I still have a (mis-matched) cleavage temporarily.
Judes, we all deal with it differently and there’s no right or wrong way. I just wanted it all OUT and was happy for them to take it all to reduce my risk of recurrence or a new primary. I was worried I was being a bit sensible and pragmatic about it all and that i would have an emotional breakdown after the surgery, but I feel fine. Looked at my scars straightaway. Not too keen on how fat my tummy looks without my bosom though!! And just relieved that it all went well and I’m through phase 2 of my treatment. But I do think it’s made easier with the range of amazing recon options available.
I’m 34, so not that much younger than you…
X
“I do think it’s made easier with the range of amazing recon options available.”
<fingers in=“” ears=“”></fingers>
La la la I can’t hear you!!
Jude - I have amazed myself how I have coped with all this. I had 2 weeks’ notice of a radical Mx <bash> with no recon <kapow> and I cried and cried at first. But somehow you just kinda get on with it - we have no choice, just “crumble or cope”.</kapow></bash>
I didn’t think I would EVER be able to look at my lop-sided chest but I peeped within hours, cuddled it the following morning and I’m just getting on with life now. The worst (Dx, chemo, Mx) is over and there is now just rads, the rest of herceptin year and 59 months left of tamoxifen to go.
Won’t be having my recon for 1-2 years though Ninja. But know i am lucky to get expanders at this point. But no breasts at present.
I meant there are great options in the longterm. When my mum had her mastectomy that was it. No chance of a recon - but we do have that option as will you once your oncy is happy with your health status. That’s got to be the most important thing for all of us or we wouldn’t be going through all of this.
X
how do i turn my profile pic round?
you may notice i had radical pre-mx pre-chemo hairdo. until a few hours ago i was mousey blonde shoulder-length beige hair. now my dear hairdresser friend tibor has turned me into a vamp somehow …
Judes - you take the original photie, rotate it 90 degrees in Photoshop, Paint or similar, then re-submit.
Hi
I’m finally home, had to stay four days instead of two because of drains, came home with one in. DO NOT LIKE BEING LOPSIDED!!! I cried and cried when I looked but I am so relieved that my gremlin has been given the heave ho!!
SNB thing was not as bad as I thought either. Thought I might look like a smurf but just blue wee!!
I wasn’t brave either, was a physical wreck on morning of op but was first down, was knocked out straightaway, they probably couldn’t be doing with my stressing and crying all over the place!!!
Just reading posts, I had the heated blanket thingy as well and was dripping, what a relief to get it off and cool down. One drain out and the other should be going tomorrow with a bit of luck.
Nobody tells you how knackered you are going to be and all the painkillers made me sleepy all the time!!! Just wanted to rest but constant obs kept me awake so just slept most of Friday and Sat.
I don’t mind sleeping on my back, I haven’t slept since dx so could sleep on a washing line at the moment!!
Offered recon but will keep it as an option as do not need the stress of another op at the moment, came home with a new little friend who lives in my bra that will do for now.
Don’t know how long I will grieve for my poor boob but as they say life goes on.
Sandytoes, I am not keen on how fat my tummy is either and agree with you, I just wanted it out and reason for Mx decision was the reduction of risk of recurrence or new primary. just have to wait for results now.
Best wishes to all and keep exercising M
Welcome home Applestreet. I was a comlete wreck and cried all the way to the operating theatre too, but strangely haven’t cried since the operation. I had the DIEP reconstruction and think it looks awful, I can’t see me being comfortable with how my body looks ever now. I am covered in scars and very sore under my arm, across the scar on my tummy and on my breast. Covered in bruising also. Got to see the surgeon tomorrow to get the results from the tissue they removed. Not looking forward to that one, I am bracing myself to be hit with more bad news, I don’t know why I think I just expect it now as it has been bad news for so long.
Hope everyone is recovering well.
Xx
BIG gentle teddy-bear hugs for everyone.
My seroma is now a B cup and goes round from sternum to under shoulder blade with an extra seroma just under axilla. I can’t get my arm anywhere near my side.
Considering a bottle of wine.
Hi
Strangely enough I must be an odd one out, I was not cut under my arm but on my back to the right. I lifted my “bad” right arm as soon as I could and was amazed that it did not hurt until I tried to turn
over and found the drain in my back!!! They made me walk to the theatre crying and sobbing all the way, I swear I know how the french aristocrats felt in the tumbrils, I was going for a life saving op and you would have thought it was the guillotine!!! So glad to be home.
Best of luck with your results jo. M
Ouch Ninja, I second the bottle of wine option!
Hi
Sympathy for the seroma ninja. Sending warm and gentle one sided hug to you. M
PS make it a big bottle!!!
For all you ladies struggling to sleep on your back. I used a couple of soft pillows laid at my side to rest against so I could sleep on my good side (if you have one, sorry don’t know what to suggest for those that don’t!). I also used a soft cushion under my bad arm to stop it pressing against my scar. Took a while to get comfy but OH said I was soon snoring away 
Hope it helps
L4W