Hi all Ive just signed up to this forum…hopefully for some positive thoughts.
Im 32 years old, got married in may, have a 12 year old daughter & a 2 yr old son…life is/was perfect.
I found a lump about a month ago now and finally plucked up the courage this week to go to the doctors after realising it wasn’t going away!
I really hoped the doctor was going to tell me there was nothing there! But she felt it too and has now referred me to the breast clinic. My beautiful brother died on his 26th birthday from cancer 9 years ago, so this vile disease has already hit our family hard once before. I’m totally petrified that I’m going to have to put my parents through this worry again. My brother was only diagnosed fr 4 months before he lost his battle (diagnosed with secondary liver) .
Ive just had a total career change (previously a hairdresser) now going into nursing, and I’m just about to start a new job with the NHS in my local hospital. I just don’t know what to do with myself, I can’t look at my children without filling up. Which I know probably sounds ridiculous to some of you going through so much more (and I admire you all)
I think because of what we went through with my brother and because he was so young I’m so frightenedthat’s it’s going to happen to me too.
My husband is trying to keep me positive and he’s ‘adamant’ that I’ll be fine…but I know that’s only because he’s thinking something like this can’t happen to us, but I know it can.
Please help me I’m going out of my mind. What will they do at the breast clinic, and do you get results the same day??? All this waiting is driving me insane. Please can someone give me the kick up the bum I need…to be positive.
Thanks for taking the time to read, I really appreciate it xxx
I forgot to add to that I ‘think’ I may have had some nipple discharge, I only noticed this from something that was on my bed sheets when I woke up the other morning (like a light brownish colour) it was exactly where my breast had been positioned from where I slept. Haven’t had anything on my bra or clothing though but can’t think of anywhere else this ‘brown’ patch would have come from??? Has anyone else had anything similar regarding it just being on your bed sheets and not clothing etc?? And is nipple discharge a bad sign? Xxx
Hi sorry to see you the here but you have come to the right place for advice and support and there is a lot of literature on this site that you can read up on. I can’t help you with the discharge aspect but I can tell you what might happen to you at the hospital. You will almost certainly have a mammogram which is a bit I uncomfortable but all over in a few minutes. You might have ultra sound this is just like when you were pregnant and totally painless. The doctor may do a needle on your lump to see if he can get any fluid off and if so your lump is just a cyst that many women have. I have had 2 drained but my doctor told me I am like a pin cushion! If no fluid is released the radiographer with the aid of ultra sound will take a core biopsy and this is sent to the lab. If this is the case it is a little uncomfortable but you have a local anasetic first. They will usually tell you at that point if it is cancer. You will be allocated a breast care nurse to answer your questions and then await an appointent to meet with a consultant in about a weeks time when the results come back. It’s sounds scary but it’s not and rest assured its so much better when you know what your dealing with. Xxxx
I’ve just replied to your post on the ‘Feeling pathetic’ thread, so rather than type it again, perhaps you’d go there to look at it.
Scrap that comment, I’ve copied my comments over:
Sorry to hear you’re having such a hard time. No wonder you’re worried with all you’ve been through already because of the disease, and being so young with a young family. You’re not being silly at all. We’ve all been there, waiting. As everyone says, it’s the hardest time, worrying and wondering.
Do remember that 9 out of 10 referrals are not cancer. Although I have had cancer I’ve also had a cyst and lipoma, which are non cancerous, so it could just be something like that. If it’s not the news you’re hoping for, however, once you know it’s easier to deal with when treatment starts. But fingers crossed it’s a negative result.
In terms of the clinic, do take someone with you as it’s such a stressful time and if you get the result the same day it would be good to have support, either way. At fast track clinincs they do try to let people know on the same day if possible but if you need a core biopsy it takes a few days - I was told it would be at least a week for those results. I knew when I was phoned at work after 6 days and asked if I could make an appointment first thing the following morning that it wasn’t the news I was hoping for.
Try to pamper yourself, do nice things with your children and partner. Get plenty of exercise - it really helps. Try deep breathing exercises as well. DO NOT GOOGLE. Wait to hear what the professionals have to say. Also, the BCC helpline are wonderful. They make you feel so much calmer - so do give them a call, I’m sure that will help.
Please let us know how you get on - we like good news stories on here. There’s been a few worried ladies on the Forum just in recent days and they’ve now had good news and are out and about celebrating. But if it’s not the news you want you’ll find lots of support and advice on the Forum from people who understand.
Take care. We’re here if you need us.
Flori X
Thankyou both so much for your replies, this seems like a lovely forum and I’m sure I’ll be hovering around a lot over the next few weeks…hopefully no longer! The waiting is awful isn’t it, I’m not the most patient of people at the best of times.
I keep going through the most extreme emotions!! Part of me is thinking everything will be fine, then the other half of me can see myself sitting in the room being told of my diagnosis and me crumbling to the floor in an absolute heap of a mess.
Xxx
Hi mummy2
i know totally how you feel, I have mamm/ultrasound this Thursday. The waiting is the worst bit, hence up early cant sleep. I had the nipple discharge too. Mine turn yellow when dries only couple dots on bed clothes. When I breast specialist he didnt say much. Just sent a nipple smear off to lap. Told me to leave checking it. Since then totally stop apart from odd dot. I’ve got pain at top of breast and he said it felt nodular tissue. So I guess that’s why I’m having test. Fingers and toes crossed we will be fine. I’ve 3 children. Youngest is 1. I’m thinking of u keep yourself busy, hard I know. Sending you a hug xx
Thanks hay, the more I think of the nipple discharge the more I worry. I squeezed my nipple last night and what looked like a small amount of milk came out???!! I had my son over 2 years ago and didn’t breast feed. I’m not sure why I would be getting any milk come out now, very strange, nothing came out of the right nipple (lump in left breast) I suppose I should be slightly thankful that there was no blood in it last night, but looking at my bed sheet there was definitely a brown tinge to it.
Hi mummy2
its hard trying to be brave, when inside you are so worried. Try not to squeeze, it make it so much worse. Specialist said that too.when do you go for your appointment. I’ve feel like its been ages as I first saw specialist on 8th October and still go to wait till Thursday. all I can say I’m here if you want a chat xxx
I’m not sure when my appointment is, I went to the doctors on Thursday and she said I would hear within 2 weeks. I just hope it’s sooner rather than later, the waiting is horrendous!
Hope your app this week goes ok xx
I left you a little message on the end of the thread I started, but wanted to say once again, that you are not alone. I can totally empathise with you, we’re the same age, very similar circumstances.
I hope you get your appt very soon. Just having a date gives a focus.
Through going through this with my Mum, and now myself. The waiting is the worst as it gives you time to think of all the possible scenarios, and you end up scaring yourself witless. I’ve been through the whole process of BC with my Mum, as a ‘‘passenger’’, and I know that if faced with BC it is copable. My Mum is so fragile, but she was a damn superhero going through treatment.
Just hold on to the knowledge and hope that the majority of breast lumps are not cancer. It’s what is helping me through. And just go with the emotions, having a massive cry is a great way to relieve the stress, even if it is only temporary.
I’m thinking of you xxx
Hi to you all, just an update from me… I’ve had my appointment come through for the breast clinic. Next Thursday 25th at 9.30. A whole 10 days to wait. Please tell me what I can do in the meantime to stop thinking these awful thoughts. My husband told me to stop being so negative and to pick myself up blah blah… Like I really want to be thinking these thoughtS??! I honestly feel like my life is on hold. Do u think I’m taking this wayyyy over the top and im being ridiculous??? I’ve told a few close people to me and they’ve all just said “you’ll be fine” ok so how do they know exactly that eh!!!
i think what I’m trying to say is that is it normal to feel like you are going to be told you have the worst possible form of aggressive BC and that it will spread within months and that there’s nothing that can be done??? Why am I feeling like this, there’s an 80% chance that this will be nothing but I can’t seem to cling onto that positive thought. HELP
faye xx
Hi mummyto2,
I understand exactly what your saying my appointment is tomorrow have waited just over 2 weeks, I hate the waiting, it’s natural to think of the negetive rather than positive!
Try to keep busy with the kids, go out for walk in the park and enjoy the autumn sun!
Or treat yourself to coffee and cake!
Keep chin up and am thinking of youXX
Hi Faye,
Its so natural to be feeling like you are, I felt exactly the same, in all honesty no matter what people say you will still worry its human nature I understand your OH saying stop Being negative think positive it’s easier for them to think that way but I’m sure hes just trying to keep your spirits up thats all… ( bet he’s worried sick inside though) … I know this won’t help but they do say 9 out of 10 are benign tumours, I have all my fingers crossed for you that this is the case… Please let us know how you get on.
Michellle xx
Hello MHagger.
We will be thinking of you tomorrow and dont forget to take some one with you as the wait seems endless. Sending you lots of positive vibes for good news.
Maybe a glass of wine to calm your nerves tonight, a lovely hot bubble bath and pamper yourself with lots of body lotions and potions. We ladies do not look after ourselves very well , we are so busy being the dutiful wife and mother. Tonight is your time, listen to your fave music and sing along if you can, as it makes you feel so much better.
Sending you big hugs for tomorrow. Tracy xxx
Faye it’s perfectly normal to feel the way you do I feel exactly the same as you. My appointment is tomorrow and I am terrified! Today has been the worst and despite the statistics saying 9/10 are benign, I can’t help torturing myself with my family history and that it WILL be something terrible, but it is only natural to think this way and assume the worst and nothing anyone can say can take that fear, but draw comfort in the people who are there for you. The waiting is the worst and it’s only relieved with knowledge. I won’t lie this week has been torture I’ve spent most of the days swinging between fear and terror, to acceptance back to fear. Just go with those emotions and try to distract yourself as much as possible, but don’t bottle things up come here, talk to your husband, be with your children.
hugs you will get through this xx
That is such good news. We all want to sing and dance and shout FANTASTIC . I am so glad the sun is shining for you. So onwards and upwards with your life now. And dont forget the TLC , Touch Look Check.!!!
Celebrate with your friends and family , enjoy each day and remember the small things in life. I know you will be grateful for every day you spend in our wonderful world.
With my love and every blessing from Tracy xxx
