Nicely said tors.
I’m not going to contribute any more but would like to point out that one of the ladies has told me that she will be leaving bcc forums and has requested deleation from the mods.
Great! So we have a lady with a bc dx that feels that she can’t chat to fellow bc patients as she finds some of the comments have gone to far and were personal.
I fancied some chips tonight and i’ll ask for a free fishcake, 'cause I have cancer. I’d rather starve!
Can I put something nice and positive in?
My DD and I both work for a hospital… Currently the hospital is experiencing outbreaks of Noro Virus (winter vomitting bug). My colleagues are forbidding me to go on to wards that have it (they don’t go themselves if they can help it). My DD texted today to say that one of the wards she works on as a physio is affected now. What did I think about her going on it? Before she could read my reply, her senior had asked if she had any issues about going there, she told them I had had chemo, and he’s going to do that ward instead. Kind of him. He didn’t need to.
It seems rather strange to me that the people who say they are offended by the this thread keep coming back and posting on it, WHY DO THEY KEEP DOING THIS if it offends and upsets them so much ?
I think some people can see the ‘bigger’ picture and have enlightened us all about the possible negative consequences of an outsider reading this thread. Hence the debate…
Some people will always exploit their circumstances for a better deal and having cancer could be seen as such a ‘circumstance’.
However, many more here have just enlightened outsiders to their medical predicament through cancer and then this new knowledge can hopefully bring about a positive end to protect their health/wellbeing.
I know that before my own BC I wouldn’t have understood why someone on chemo would not want to wait in an area where germs abound, and might have been fed up to know they ‘jumped the queue’ but hopefully I am a lot wiser now…
Having any sort of ill health is horrendous but long term issues like fatigue, lymphodeama, depression, loss of fertility, early menopause, physical aches and pains as side effects and mental confusion can never be exploited. Nor can secondary cancer! I’m not sure why primary cancer is any different!
I don’t recall people laughing and boasting about’gaining’ things due to a cancer diagnosis, it is intended to give people support in stressful situations. I posted to somebody about school admissions in order to help them possibly get them in a school that made things easier for them.
I am very grateful to the school for sorting things out and have never laughed at ‘manipulating school admissions.’ I did this in my son’s best interests, he is now at a school with his cousins and friends, away from a school where he had unhappy memories. I feel a 15year old who knows his Mum is dying has the right to feel support of his friends during what quite frankly will probably be the worst year of his life!
I feel no guilt - I would do the same again if I had to!
Vodka Girl - It’s a discussion forum. People have a right to put their points of view.
The Self proclaimed original purpose of the thread was this:-
“i’ve seen quite a few posts from us poor ole BC sufferers using our illness to get what we want. so i decided to start a new thread mainly for a laugh but also to share tips to make sure we all get more of what we want more of the time.”
Perhaps the school thing was more an example of people doing lovely things to help you when they don’t have to. Sadly, as it was posted in a thread with this title and these aims, people cannot help but interpret it in this context. Perhaps this itself shows the ill conceived nature of this thread, its not always what is done but the context in which it can be interpreted.
Jeniffer, I know its s discussion forum, but if something offended me as much as some have indicated this does I would certainly give it a wide berth after giving my thoughts on the subject.
Weather still mild for December hey???
mild but very stormy!!
Hi Nicky,
You are a brave lady who is taking care of your son’s future; I for one admire you. I’m pleased you aren’t allowing negative posts to make you feel guilty.
Your son most definitely deserves to be in a school where he will receive emotional support from his peers, I wish him the best future possible.
Stay strong and take care.
Libby x
Think the storms passing, I’m sure the forecast was clear blue sky in the morning? Xx
i see blue skies 
storm clouds gathering …
Blimey, you stay off the forums for a day in order to go and have some real life (just popped in once or twice from my phone but didn’t post so that doesn’t count ;-D ) and the place goes mad.
A suggestion for Louise to change the thread title to: “Always look on the bright side of life” a la Life of Brian.
NONE of us want to have this card in the hand we have been dealt, but sometimes it is relevant (like whoever it was with the horse that needed treatment, and similar). Whoever mentioned British irony has completely got the hang of this thread. “The card” is a metaphor for a crap situation, not for a cheat that we use to fiddle the system. But I appreciate the title could be difficult for some so I’d be happy for the title to change if it makes other forum members feel less uncomfortable.
I have found BLACK humour has got me through 2011 and this thread, for me, is trying to dig around and find some hint of positive about this horrid disease. With the best will in the world I’d much rather NOT have this card in the entire pack, let alone in the hand we’ve been dealt.
Back on topic, I don’t think I’ve actually played “the card” for myself, but did speak to the school when my kids were finding life a bit tough, partly because of worrying about their mum. By “playing the card” I got homework requirements reduced for one of them who was finding it particularly tough. (The other daughter didn’t get off so lightly as she has coped better with this year, so she had to do the full quota of homework.)
Ah, I’ve just remembered an incident where it could be said I played “the card”. I was officiating at a swimming meet (a voluntary thing) during chemo and doing a job that typically requires standing, but as I was still in the middle of chemo and felt completely knackered I asked for a chair. It was that, or I wouldn’t have been able to stay and do the job, which would have caused problems for all the kids who were there. Reckon that’s the only time I’ve needed to specifically mention it (the organisers, bless 'em, had forgotten despite my baldy head) but generally people I worked with took my treatment into consideration without me having to mention it. In fact, sometimes I had to STOP others from “making allowances” so much!
Whoever was thinking of leaving the forums, please don’t.
oh daysie, fabulous. good spot!
Good clip made me smile xx
Nope, sorry, I managed to get off a parking ticket by “playing the card”.
The morning before I was going in for my WLE and SNB I remembered that I needed to change a sports bra that I was supposed to have as instructed by my surgeon. I’d bought one but it was the wrong size and needed to be swapped. So I parked my car in the parking bay, looked in my purse - no change. Dashed to M&S that I’d parked outside, intending to ask the till for change of a £20 note but just ended up in a flap because I was going to be late, and I needed this bra, and I was about to be cut open, and wasn’t in control of my head and was in a state. Dashed up to the lingerie section, swapped the bra, dashed back to the car, there was the ticket. I’d been away from the car for about 5 minutes.
Within 20 mins I was at home online requesting them to waive the fee because of all I’ve just explained, and I got a reply saying they would.
Was I wrong to do so? I don’t think so, I know lots of people who have protested against a parking ticket for much more spurious reasons and have been “let off”. I’m grateful to them for doing so, and any other time I’ve got a parking ticket for being lazy, I’ve coughed up.