Everyone is entitled to an opinion and entitled to express it. My objection is not to the title but to those who appear to be vilifying others for using this thread for what it was intended ‘a bit of light hearted humour’ to help get us through another horrible day and publicly acknowledge people ‘going the extra mile’ when they didn’t have to.
Perhaps we should start a thread entitled ‘Horrible things people have done whilst I’ve had cancer’ to redress the balance, I could fill 100 pages
There seems to be an underlying assumption in some of the posts that cancer in some way should turn us all into really nice, terribly virtuous people. I was a bit of a bitch before, and thankfully, am still a bit of a bitch after a year or more, because it (CANCER) hasn’t ‘got’ me. I am still the me I was before, only with a sodding big black cloud floating over me.
There are some ways we can express differences of opinions very respectfully and this happens reguarly. But if some people take umbrage to things that were never meant to be taken personally then… this is what we get.
And if we have to start being careful what we say here in case the media are watching over us and may use it against us - in some big conspiracy against people with BC - then that’s the day leave the forum.
chocciemuffin - well done getting off with the parking ticket, bras are extremely important to us!! i should know, the amount i tried on to try and find a comfy one after mx
Shiel - i thought it was the cancer making me a bitch, but thinking about it i was also one before! lol
Oh dear jeniffer, I have read this whole thread in the one evening as I have only just come across it. The only post that really shocked me was yours. Please don’t use this forum to be so mean to other people.
I have had cancer for almost 8 years now. In the last 2 it has spread to my liver then bones, brain and lungs. Weirdly I have always looked pretty well and sometimes there has been a big disparity between what I looked capable of doing and what I was actually capable of. I do think if you are comfortable explaining the situation to people it’s only fair that they should be offered the chance to help out. I don’t often tell people about my cancer (mostly cos I am bored with the dammed thing and would rather live in denial nowadays) but I do have friends who insist on telling people in shops, restaurants etc that I am having chemo, surgery or whatever, almost invariably i get some kind of special treatment - a nice chair in john lewis just before xmas while the assistant bought over gifts that i might want to give to my children is a recent example. I have never asked my friends not to mention my cancer as they see it as their way of protecting me from overdoing things and exhausting myself. Most people, once apprised of the situation, are only to keen to try to make you feel special in some way. I find that I often have to listen to them tell me about their mum,dad, cousin or friend who also had cancer. So many people are touched by this disease and they really just want to be nice in some way.
I read very few posts that were about ‘getting freebies’ it was mostly about getting the treatment/service we deserve. Many years ago when I was 8 months pregnant my car broke down. I called the AA, informed them of my condition and they sent someone out immediately. I have a friend who has 2 children, 1 of whom is autistic, she has a special pass so the whole family go to the front of the queue at legoland - would you demand that she didn’t use the ‘autism card’? would you insist that I never mentioned my pregnancy?
Sorry my post is not very light hearted but I was really enjoying reading the thread until it turned into something much more moany - I have noticed that most of the ‘fun’ threads seem to get targeted this way after a while. Such a shame :-((
Lovely mild weather here today though :-))
It’s so unfair that you have had to be subjected to another person’s discourtesy and inconsiderateness. As you rightly pointed out the forums should not be used to be mean to other people. I find the comment ‘yawn’ extremely offensive and dismissive.
But worry not, most forum members are actively here to support you and others’ along this horrific journey as I’m sure you know.
Thank you for your post libsue - i think it makes sense despite jeniffer deleting hers. I am a big believer in positive vibes so I shall take on board you positive thoughts and firmly reject any negative ones coming from elsewhere
And thank you for deleting both your recent posts jeniffer,
I think any ‘yawns’ in this house are because I should be trying to get to sleep now
X
Can I politely request that posters remind themselves of the forum rules. Particularly about having a bit of respect for each other and not just having a dig.
. We have seen people disagreeing with views expressed in this thread while still respecting the individual with the other view, it would be good for all of us if tthe same respect could be shown a bit more widely .
Well said CM, lets get back to what this thread was about… A bit of fun and as I said before gratitude for those who help us on this horrible journey and make life that bit more bearable
If anyone sees the sleep fairy will you tell her I have BC and the steroids need chasing away
None of us want to be handed the cancer card but we are all in the unfortunate position to have or be recovering from or living with breast cancer… At least we can make the most of things by getting what we are entitled to or getting help which makes our lives easier… It doesn’t just apply to cancer there are lots of things where people need help… My daughter has mental health problems and a learning disability so I often have to mention this to services she requires like getting a mentor at college, or having somebody with her at the DSS when she was signing on…
I on the other hand have got on a bus at the wrong stop because I just couldn’t walk any further because of the effects of cancer treatment, have had my tv package upgraded when I said I was watch tv more cos I was off work with cancer… I didn’t ask for it but it was offered, I did ask for a bank account to be reopened when it was closed because I hadn’t returned the paperwork due to anaesthetic and Chemo brain.
I have recently got a blue badge because I can hardly walk without becoming breathless or being in pain… I also recently found out that some people can also get help with their fuel bills through this website. decc.gov.uk/en/content/cms/funding/whds/whd_broader/whd_broader.aspx
These aren’t cheating the system they are either people being kind or because we are actually entitled to them but may not be aware of it.
If people are reading this thread then they are probably more shocked at the slating some people are getting than from the actual content which as far as I can see hasn’t said we are a bunch of cheating scumbags but that we genuinely need help like having a chair or table to sit at, or making your child’s school, aware that you are having treatment for cancer as it’s likely to cause quite a bit of stress for our kids as well as ourselves, and that the effects of cancer do not just end as soon as treatments but can be ongoing and can be emotional and physical and that benefits shouldn’t be withdrawn but are extremely needed.
Please be kind to one another we are all in the same boat and maybe somebody will post about a service or kind action that may strike a chord with you too.
Most of the ‘benefits’ mentioned on this thread have been fairly small things that in no way outweigh the effects of going through BC and it’s nice to hear of people being kind to us with everything else going on. Personally, I am in the process of making a critical illness claim, but I would gladly do without the money if I could wake up and find the last few months had all been a bad dream. I think most of us would feel the same.
i saw the post where Shiel was personally critised last night, and when i couldn’t sleep last night, i was thinking about it and wished i’d commented straight away
