When I received my critical illness payment I received a phone call to say the claim had been processed. I immediately burst into tears and the poor lady on the other end of the phone seemed genuinely concerned for me but didn’t understand why I was so upset. She was really lovely and stayed on the phone until I calmed down enough to explain that I’d been hoping it would be declined because that would mean I wasn’t critically ill and I would gladly give every penny back to not be where I am now. She said to accept that it would allow me the means to take care of myself and recover without having to worry about my finances for a while (it’s not a life changing amount). I still feel receiving the payment was in some ways worse than being told my dx because it confirmed (for me) that I have a critical illness (OMG, I couldn’t bury my head in the sand any longer) and from past experience insurance companies don’t pay out unless they have to yet Drs sometimes get their dx wrong.
Just wanted to remind you all of our Community Guidelines, particularly points 1 and 2.
I’ve posted them below for reference.
Best wishes.
Louise
Facilitator
Be kind to each other.
Many people using the forum are going through difficult times. A few words of kindness can go a long way. Be especially nice to new posters – it can be very nerve-wracking to post on the forum for the first time.
Give each other the benefit of the doubt: it can be very easy to misinterpret other people’s comments, especially when read or written in haste. Sarcasm and humour are particularly easy to misunderstand.
Please don’t post comments just to annoy or inflame other users.
Celebrate difference and disagree respectfully
A wide range of people with very different experiences use the forum. Differences and debate are very welcome, but this is no place for personal attacks. Please make your points politely and respectfully. Equally, be prepared for people to disagree with you and try not to take it as a personal attack when it is not meant that way.
A couple of tips suggested by forum users:
“Think before you submit” – if you disagree with a post, think it over before you post your response. Try drafting it first, then read it over to make sure what you’re saying is clear and respectful.
“Attack the post not the poster” – that is, disagree with the points made, but don’t be rude about the person making the point.
Don’t post any content that treats anyone unfairly because of their sex, sexual orientation, race, colour, nationality, ethnic or national origin, religion or philosophical belief, disability, gender identity/reassignment, marital status, family circumstance or age; or anything that is threatening, obscene or in any way offensive. Please do not swear or use terms that people find offensive.
I manage a claims team at a Life Insurance Company dealing with Life and Critical Illness claims.
Please don’t any of you feel upset or bad because your Critical Illness cover pays out. The cover will pay out whether you have a half centimeter, stage 1 cancer, or a six centimeter stage 4. The only criteria is that it is cancer. The payment is not related in any way to how “bad” or “good” it is. In fact I think the product name is all wrong; it could more properly be described as “specified illness cover”.
Enjoy the money and use it to make life easier at what is a really hard time.
Lost 4 words,Thats exactly how i felt when i got my insurance payout.I told them i would rather not have it as it meant i was really ill. They must get this a lot as they pretty much said the same to me as they had to you.
All my life my only wish was to be happy and healthy and i sort of made a deal that i would always work for any money .I think as time goes on you realise why shouldn’t you have it as you have worked hard all your life ,you haven’t asked for this so why shouldn’t you have nice things if they come your way.I haven’t played the cancer card as such but always wore a hat and its amazing how a doctors app suddenly appears or people do really nice things for you. I have been embarrased sometimes when my meal comes out extra quick in cafes ect but then i find out that the owners father had just had cancer and she knew how i was feeling and wanted to do something nice for me. I will make sure that if anyone comes into the cafe where i work and is not well i will be extra nice to them ,every little helps .Best wishes ladies for the new year .A happy and healthy one ,love Sharon xxx
Just wanted to direct you all to Lisa Lynch’s latest blog with regard to gracefully accepting care from family, friends and strangers. Wonderful woman alrighttit.blogspot.com/2011/12/thanksgiving.html
Wooahhh there - this is all getting a little out of hand now isn’t it? The whole thing was posted as a bit of Tongue in cheek humour what on earth is going on now? I found the forum invaluble when going through tough times and these humorous posts helped me keep a wry smile on in challenging circumstances. I know everyone doesn’t find this personally helpful but really, attacks not necessary ?! I’ll bang your heads together (ducking for cover)
Maybe it’s a generation thing as my mum and my granny used to say it to me and my Sis when we were bickering lol… I dont recall ever saying it to my own kids though… It’s all naughty steps and time outs!
I love the black humour on some of the postings but the title of this is the problem… A matter of personal taste perhaps and not offensive for the first few pages. Can it be changed this is open for all to see and might give the wrong impression to those that have NOT had breast cancer.
Have a super New Year girls and Lang may your lum reek etc I hope we will be using the thread next New Years Eve.
Perhaps to just remove the word Playing would help.
Haven’t read through all the posts but love the idea of this thread. It’s much like when you’re pregnant. You need a bit of TLC and looking after. Our bald heads are a visual indication as to what we’re going through, just like a baby bump.
I agree, Hoshi, although it doesn’t accommodate those women, and men, who are still undergoing treatment for BC but who have not lost their hair (either because they are not on chemo or the chemo that they are on does not cause hair loss). Just as a bump or a lack of hair may indicate that we need that seat on the tube, bus, etc, for instance, what about those people who are not pregnant etc who may also need to sit down too?
For my own part, I have felt uncomfortable with the title of this thread too - I haven’t commented because I can see the intention behind it - light hearted humour - but I’d hope that if anyone needed assistance that they would get it, irrespective of whether they had cancer or not. Naz
I am very grateful for this thread helping me with things I am entitled to but people don’t tell you about! Classic example is the fuel help (lulu pg 13), that I had not even considered but am following up now. Pls keep posting! Maybe removing the ‘playing the’ from the title would encourage people to follow nd post.
sadie I think THE CANCER CARD is good without the playing too… we do sometimes have to play it but only because we have been dealt it… I’m sure every single one of us would rather not be this position!
Let me know how you get on with the fuel thing too.
Also anybody who has symptoms which affect their mobility like getting out of breath etc causing inability to walk etc can also apply for blue badge parking badge… And if you get a blue badge parking permit most places you can apply for a free travel pass… The parking permit is valid for a year but can be expended at the end of that period if you are still having problems.
Also I got a shower stool organised by my district nurse cos I kept feeling faint in the shower and had to sit on the floor… Its been great… They also said they can organise a wheelchair if I want to get out and about and not to hire them from shopping centres etc as they can organise them for free.
Sadie that is awful… I thought the Whole point was to give you free parking… Our unit is free anyway but there are other hosps with private care parks that do still charge but the Scottish government changed all it’s own car arks to free parking.
I know, it is awful! I think if I’m there for a full day I can get a reduced rate, but you know how often appointments come up. It will cost a small fortune!! It is a pfi hospital so all a business not at all caring!
glad this thread has calmed down a bit. (it has, hasn’t it?)
there are still people who want to change the title but it seem more people who don’t. jennifer the cancer is in capitals as a sort of desensitising to remove the power of the word. like in the past no one would say the word cancer, it provoked so much fear, so it’s like countering that and saying ‘hey you cancer, you won’t cow me’. i know not every one sees it like that and i’m sorry it gives you the creeps.
also, people with all their hair can still ask for help by saying they have cancer, surely? ie you can still play the cancer card.
and I would gladly give every penny back to not be where I am now. She said to accept that it would allow me the means to take care of myself and recover without having to worry about my finances for a while (it’s not a life changing amount). I still feel receiving the payment was in some ways worse than being told my dx because it confirmed (for me) that I have a critical illness (OMG, I couldn’t bury my head in the sand any longer) and from past experience insurance companies don’t pay out unless they have to yet Drs sometimes get their dx wrong.
what on earth is going on now? I found the forum invaluble when going through tough times and these humorous posts helped me keep a wry smile on in challenging circumstances. I know everyone doesn’t find this personally helpful but really, attacks not necessary ?! I’ll bang your heads together 
(ducking for cover)