Is it normal to have post surgery blues? I had lymph node removal on Friday. Came home same day and feel a lot better physically than I thought I would. I went back to work yesterday to try and keep things “normal”. People keep telling me how well I’m doing but all I actually feel like doing at the moment is going back to bed and waking up when all this is over!
I’m usually fairly positive but finding over the last day or so that every waking thought is the big C. I wake up and it’s there in my mind until going to bed again. My husbands response - get some antidepressants. I feel I’m a burden on him and my little girl. I don’t have any other family really, although friends have been great. Apart from you lovely people on here I find it hard to explain how I’m feeling to people who haven’t gone through this, hence I end up smiling saying I’m fine.
Any advice pls?
Sarah x
If you feel like going to bed then go back to bed - no one knows how they are going to feel after an operation. I know of many people who bounce back immediately after their operation only to hit a wall so to speak a few days later. Add to that you have had an anaesthetic which can take a few days to work its way out of your body.
You should not feel a burden on anyone - you are experiencing a life changing thing (as are we all on these boards) and anti depressants may or may not be the answer. Very often all we want is a hug and a ‘hey it’s OK to feel this way’ and if needs be ‘you’re allowed to cry’ - whatever it takes to make you feel better. It may only be a five minute boost but those five minute boosts are a real shot in the arm when you are feeling down!
The next time someone says how well you are doing give them a shock and say actually I feel like bleuggh! and tell them how you are really feeling - it isn’t easy trying to be strong all the time - and five minutes of someone elses’ time is nothing if they give you the support that you so obviously need.
If all else fails we are here and dont forget your BCN - she is well placed to give you all the help that you need. xx
Hi Sarah. Post surgery blues a very definite thing, combined with the woomph of our emotions trying to catch up with the speed at which this has happened to all of us; and trying to battle with the anger, sadness and loss. I don’t know why we want to be “fine” for everyone and protect them. I have, however, identified those friends I can collapse with as my official support group - affectionately known as my “bras”! My partner has been wonderful but struggling also. He finally spoke about his anger, sadness and frustration there is nothing he can do to help me. Much as Swampy has said in her reply I told him I just need that extra hug, to be passed the tissues and know he’s there. I also found it helpful to point him in the direction of the information for those supporting someone with cancer. It’s such early days for all of us and I’ve gathered loads of support already from those wise women on here further down the line. A safe place to be not “fine”! Big hugs Xx
Sarah, I posted on here too as I wasn’t sure how I was feeling was normal. When I got home after lumpectomy and snb I thought ooh I feel better than I thought I would. Got to day 3 and down I plummeted! Emotions kicked in, sore boob and the tiredness too. What a shock that was. So be kind to yourself and rest when you need to which was the advice given to me and since then I’ve coped better. Keep in touch. Sue xx
Thanks ladies for all the support. I just feel a fraud at the moment. Prognosis is good. Physically I feel ok. Then boom this hits me like a lead balloon!
I still have chemo to get through and I’m thinking if I feel like this post surgery when I’m physically ok, how on earth will I feel during chemo.
Sarah xx
Nothing really to add to what the others have already said, all true! Just wanted to give you a virtual hug. All of us have been where you are (and sometimes still are). I can so identify with what you say, sometimes all I could think of was “I’ve got cancer” and the fear was overwhelming. I didn’t find this site until just before starting radiotherapy (had last session today). It’s helped me so much, only wish I’d found it sooner.
Post surgery blues are to be expected, everyone gets them. Try to stop putting on a brave face for everyone else, it’s you that’s going through this, put yourself first. You are not alone, just pop on here, I know it’s really helped me at some of my darkest times.
As as much as our friends and family may love us, only someone going through or been through this can really understand how you feel. On here you can say how you really feel.
Hi I had surgery on Monday with a lump and some lymph nodes removed. It’s been more painful than I expected and I keep bursting into tears when I feel ok , so finding it very odd! I was only diagnosed 2wks ago so I think it’s all a bit of a shock still.
Hi Julie
Sending you a hug and I hope things start to feel brighter. You are so recently through your op and sounds like a bit of post surgery blues, with the anaesthetic disappearing and your head catching up. I had the same sort of thing and couldn’t work out why I was crying but not because I had BC! It does all ease a little but this is the very best place to join us on a roller coaster xxx
I saw a cancer counsellor after diagnosis and until a few weeks ago. She saud that I’m the main people have forgotten about 'listening to their bodies ’ and the art (if you can call it that ) of convalescing has been abandoned. We expect too much too soon of ourselves.
Hi Aileen. I hope tomorrow a much better day and you sleep well tonight. I was worse after the 2nd WLE, even though the procedure was less invasive. Have a relaxing day tomorrow xx
Definitely not pernickety. The same post has popped up on a few threads. This is such a great place to share honestly, it feels a (insert rude word) cheek to hijack and advertise. I hope everyone is doing ok. I’m still waiting for outcome of Oncotype test to see if chemo would help, but fingers crossed will be rads and tablets only. At risk of sounding like an advertiser myself this issue of Good Housekeeping has a couple of brilliant articles my partner found helpful xx
Hi Sarah sorry to hear that you are feeling down. It is a perfectly normal way to feel apparently. You don’t need anti depressants. After the surgery there are all kinds of emotions. For several weeks I turned into someone who cried at the slightest thing (totally out of character!!!). Ring you Breast Care Nurse and have a chat with her. Mine helped me so much, she explained about all the emotional stuff and understood exactly what I was feeling like. Maybe a bit of time off work and lots of time resting would help. Just remember, you will feel normal again one day!!! Anne
My chemo has been delayed for the second time today as my post op infection is still too bad to risk chemo on top. Ive only been on the right type of antibiotics for 3 days so it’s not surprising I guess. I had to have surgery twice as the first margins weren’t clear but it’s now over a month. I’m very sore and uncomfortable and a bit fed up with hanging on the edge. Fighting the infection may be making me tired and a bit grumpy but I’m getting a bit stressed so taking the opportunity to moan a bit on this forum! its also hard to keep telling people no I haven’t started chemo yet. I just want to heal and get going now with the dreaded chemo and get it over with. My family are struggling a bit with the situation too so I’m trying not to moan to them and my husband has enough to cope with as he has his own health problems. Thank goodness for this forum. X
Hi all, I had my second WLE last Monday only 3 weeks after the first and have really struggled emotionally this time in fact I spent all day crying on weds my husband was great but my children (who are all 20 +) have always seen me as a strong person who always make things right and now I can’t . I can see how hard it is for them and it breaks my heart . I’m finding everything much harder to deal with this time the pain, the waiting for results and what’s going to happen next. It’s so great to be able to read that others feel the same and I don’t feel that I’m being dramatic.I have a lovely support network of family and friends who try their best but like someone said earlier it’s me who’s got it not them . I’ve got my results day on Wednesday 14/9 so fingers crossed for no more surgery xxx Janey I love the idea of safe place to not feel fine xxxx
I’m looking forward to this being a blur and planted bulbs at the weekend, thinking they will hopefully be out after treatment has finished - whatever that looks like. I was diagnosed at the end of June and following two lots of surgery, infection, surgeon and oncologist holidays and waiting on Oncotype results, it will be this week when I finally know if it’s chemo or straight to rads. Very anxious today, more that the results won’t be back before tomorrow, as the whole family now feeling in limbo. Cla46 I shall be thinking of you too tomorrow and let’s hope 14th is a good day! Xx
Post phone call blues for me. My Oncotest results aren’t back and my appointment is cancelled tomorrow and rescheduled for next Weds. Even though I half expected the call (my journey a succession of delays and cancellations), it’s left me pretty fed up xx
I’m so sorry to hear that Janey it’s another small dip in the roller coaster ride and hopefully you’ll be heading upwards again soon , sending you love and huge hugs xx xx