Really nervous about reconstruction

I have been determind to have reconstruction since my mastectomy last June and now have a date in February for my op. I have decided on the tummy one so I do not have to have an implant. I do feel worried about putting my family through this, but I just hate looking in the mirror and feel un sexy. I am really concerned about recovery I have 3 children 3,4 and 11 and the doctor has told me it is three months recovery and I will need constant help with kids for at least 3 weeks after op and cannot drive for 6 weeks. This all seems really scary. I had to call on so much help during my chemo I just do not know whether I can do it all again. Any advice would be greatfully appreciate


I’ve only just had my mastectomy (last thursday) and have my implant in but not filled up yet. After my chemo and radiotherapy I am planning to have a proper recon. I’ve done some research into not having one and there are a people that decide they’re happy with their body without the recon but for me I feel the need to have it done.

It is hard thinking about how much people will need to do for you but that shouldn’t sway your decision. You have to do what is right to make you feel happy and confident with your body. People will willingly help and support you through it. You’ve been through enough already that you had no control over, now this is your opportunity to take control and have a boob back.

Have you asked your family and close friends how they feel about having to support you for a bit longer?

Em x

Dx 2 years ago and TRAM flap recon almost five months ago. I am delighted with the result, and feel as if I’ve got my body back. It is absolutely _your_ decision, however. I thought long and hard about it, and one day just woke up knowing it was the right thing for me. I’m 62, and don’t for a moment think I’m ‘past it’.

The resultant tummy tuck is a great bonus. The surgeon also did a reduction/uplift on the other side so I have a matching pair :slight_smile:

The best thing I did was hire a hospital bed (I’m in Australia) for home recovery. I only needed it for 3-4 weeks, but it was well worth it. There is NO way I could have got out of bed without assistance, and the Dr had also insisted I was to sleep with something behind my back, and my knees elevated - jack-knife position. Make sure you know what painkillers you will need … I don’t mean to scare you … but it is better to be prepared.

On the days when I felt sore and stooped, I reminded myself that ‘time really is the best healer’. Proven correct. Good luck with your decision-making.

hi similar position as you, hopefully deciding on same tummy option at same time as second masectomy due to potential rads damage but scared stiff at thought of it and recovery times etc. Good luck, thoughts are with you as i have the same scared feelings xx


i had a recon in june this year and altho’ it is the biggest op i’ve ever had it is the best decision i have made since i was first dx in feb 2008. i’ve had a tram flap and the tummy tuck is the source of most of the discomfort but it is still so cool having 2 boobs and a cleavage again and just putting your bra on with no prosthesis.i’m now waiting for the other one to be tweaked and a new nipple, tatoo etc. i’m on a thread on here where we have all had recons and not one of us regrets the decision… some have grown kids and others young kids and everything in between and it is all do-able. you will need support for the 1st 3 weeks or so and you will need 3 months off work if you work, it is a major op but it trully is worth it…

whatever decision you make will be right for you…

lots of love,



I just had a delayed DIEP reconstruction on 29 October and have completed my second week of recovery. I can’t tell you how thrilled I am that I had this op - I’m now the proud owner of a new breast and a lovely flat tummy!!

We all recover at different rates, but I found the best thing for me was to be very organised before surgery. I’m thankful to a member of this forum who gave me lots of tips via private messages - everything from having things at waist level etc.

Everything has gone well for me and I’m doing a lot at the moment. My tummy is tight but I’m managing and am not nearly as disabled as I thought I would be.

Bosley, it is hard to ask friends and family for more support, but if this is important to you, then the comfort you can take is that the support you need will not go on indefinitely. It will be time limited and the benefits to you will be huge in the long term! Good luck!

Gill x

I had my mastectomy and immediate reconstruction 3 weeks ago.
I opted for for an implant as i wanted minimal scars - the least
damage to my body as possible.For me personally i needed immediate

Hi Bosley,

Yes it’s a big op - but it is SO worth it. I too have three young children (13, 11 and 9) and it’s certainly not easy having to get cover etc. - but it’s not forever.

I had a right breast MX with immediate TRAMflap reconstruction five weeks ago. I’m now driving, have walked the dog and generally feel fine. My tummy is still tender - but they give you a corset to wear for the first six-eight weeks which provides both literal and emotional support!

The scar is big - there’s no getting away from it. I’ve had three casesareans so I thought I knew what it would be like - but it’s far bigger as a scar and obviously as an op. Mine was over 10 hours from start to finish. But I’m delighted with the end result. I have a proper cleavage and other than no nipple (yet), it looks and moves just like an ordinary boob. It’s only slightly smaller than my other one and when I’m in a bra, it really doesn’t show.

And I no longer have any caeasarean flab! First time I’ve been able to see my nether regions in a long time!

My experience of timing etc was a week in hospital - bed bound for 2 days then limited shuffling around after that and then a week at home in bed without any kids in the house as managed to farm them out. To be honest, whilst it was weird not having them here, it was the best thing as I could just rest without having to worry about them. When they came back, I had my mum here too to help. And after that, I was pretty much able to cope myself. But you really will need lots of rest in the early days - that much anasthetic really does take it out of you.

The very best of luck to you. As I said, it’s a big op - but really worth it. x

Thank you so much, all really positive comments and I feel happier now. I know it is what I want, my family and friends are supportive, but they do not really understand why it is so important to me to have it done. I will call on you all again after christmas for some more tips.

Bosley, when they see the smile on your face because of the surgery, your friends and family will understand! Good luck! x

Hi Bosley

I Know what you are going through…as i myself is waiting to go in and have recon …I’m scared but excited to …I have decided to have tram belly… I’m not looking forward to being laid up in bed and not be able to be mobile, and having to go through the pain again…but think it will be worth it in the long run … i DID SEE THAT some of the ladies on here have gave you some tits on what to get ready before the opp////i would like some tips to …sal xx

tits on the brain …i ment tips!!!

Hi there
Am post op 3 weeks tomorrow from an ELD reconstruction and just wanted to encourage you and say it is definitely worth it! Am still stiff and sore but pottering around and the boost I got from looking down after my mx and seeing the breast still there, to all intents and purposes, was incredible. I was lucky (!) and was able to have immediate reconstruction so only the one big op (6 hours) and 5 days in hospital. You will need some help but I am a lot better than I had anticipated.
Wishing you every bit of luck and a speedy recovery.

Thanks for some feed back …as it all helps you get through the scared times… i can’t wait till i can look down and see a pair of boobs…and not worry what top to put on …always wearing scarfs round my neck,
and feel hole again …i have been with out my boob for 18 months …and its been hard for me,so glad i hav’nt got long to go till im balanced out …sal x

love that tits on the brain.

i had mast and immediate reconn in May , needed to see a boob not a flat area , must say im so pleased with the results , want to show everyone, dont of course but joking apart, the op was less painful than the blinkin flu jab ive just had .

good luck to all waiting for the recon although you will not need luck it will be fine

hugs to allxxxx

Hi all

I had a visit with my PS yesterday following a CT scan of the abdominal area, which wasn’t clear enough but hopefully I will know next Friday of what option is best for me, ie free tram or tram/diep.

I am scared about it, as the PS advised me that I will be in a lot of pain and will ask myself “why did I have it done” just after the surgery. We all suffer pain differently and I don’t think I have a very high pain threshold, is it bad ladies?

I’ve had 3 ceseareans and have no tummy muscles at all, but he said it doesn’t matter. I’m also concerned about scar adhesions from the previous C sections. I will probably be having surgery next March’ ish.

I’ve made my mind up that I want the surgery, I need to look and feel normal again but have been upset by a family member suggesting why would I want to put myself through such a big op just for vanity. Typical, no support just negativity, as if they really understand.

Here’s hoping you all recover quickly from surgery and start to enjoy your new bodies ladies.

Hi, just to say

i had ld flap in may and the one question i kept asking everyone , was regarding pain control, the answer was that the medical team would be failing if i felt any pain what so ever. Trusted them and had to say they were correct , i felt not one twinge of pain, had lots of drugs which kept on coming, did not have to ask , team came to bedside every 4 hours with top ups.

I have no regets and it has done wonders for my recovery, so glad I put myself first for once and went for it, despite being the biggest mardy bum I know.

take care xxx

I had my tram flap 11th Dec 07, it is a long op but well worth it for me.

I came out of hospital day 5, walking was slowish and I had to bend slightly so as not to pull the tummy, my kids were 10 and 8 and because the op was the week before school hols this helped recovery no end, I went to the school carol service on day 8, sons football do day 10 and was in town with my daughter on day 12 doing last minute light shopping (she was carrying the bags and my husband was taxi). For my checkup on christmas eve my husband did the food shopping and dropped my off at the hospital door, my PS and his team were shocked when they saw me walking the corridor unaided + getting on and of the bed.

I built my walking daily but did not feel safe to drive (emergency stop) until week 8, I went back to work after 9 weeks and was back at the gym about 3/4 months. I do 3 to 4 high impact classes per week and just watch the lower tummy excercises. I wore a lovely dress when I celebrated my 40th and had a cleavage again, I also dont have to worry re the prosthesis falling or slipping out.

I would suggest easy food, it can still be healthy, I couldn’t even cut a potato to start with, we lived on M&S prewashed and chopped bags of veg and sliced melon etc and teach your kids how to make you a cup of tea.

Also when in hospital put all your essentials in easy reach before the op i.e. phone, face wipes and creams, you will be bed ridden to start with and your arms will be sore from being taped back for so many hours.

Good Luck


Hi Ladies
well next wednesday i’m in hospital havind recon from tummy…scared but looking forwardto it …in a scary way. well ladies will keep you in formed xxx

Good luck, I hope all goes well for you, and we’ll all be thinking of you. Keep us posted!

Bubs xx