I’m almost afraid to speak to the nurse. I had a call from my breast cancer nurse yesterday and she is so lovely but I felt like she didn’t know how to settle my mind. Of course I just started overthinking then xo
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Thank you so much. I’ve never felt so terrified. The whole stage three part is just consuming me. I’m looking for positives but I’m struggling to grasp hold of them.
It’s hard to wait for appointments, as you know, at same time I’m afraid of what they will bring xo
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Sam we all understand please try and take it a day at a time a treatment at a time your treatments can change during the process, lots of us over the years had treatment plans change you team tailor it specifically to you, so please try not to think about everything all at once, you’ve had a shock suddenly finding yourself diagnosed with breast cancer, so be kind to yourself when you’ve had the operation they will probably tell you which type of breast cancer it is, again reach out on here everyone will reach out and share and help you 
Shi xx
Thank you so much. I apologise for being such a misery guts. I’ve cried in and off all day. All I can think about are my three kids, they need me and I don’t want to be away from them xo
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never any need for apologies here, this is your safe space to come and reach out to others, I’m hoping some of the others who have children can share their wisdom with you and help you all it is like a rollercoaster you’ve just got to hang on tight and bcn has got its invisible safety blanket wrapped round you as I’ve said do what you need to do for you, cry, shout, laugh go crazy whatever but please remember you are still amazing you through all this and do hold onto that Shi xx
@sam3 im so sorry to hear of your diagnosis. I was diagnosed in May - I’m 38 and also have young children. 2 boys aged 8 and 6. For months the fear of not being around for my children consumed me - I cried alot and it tore me apart. I have accessed some counselling to help me - I would definitely recommend it - it has helped me to recognise my thought patterns and try to have abit more perspective in the moment. I am still terrified of something happening to me and leaving my children without their mum, but I am working hard to try and not let it consume me. Your diagnosis is so new, what you are feeling is expected. Be kind to yourself. It will get better xxx
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Thank you. I have cried so much today, my skin hurts. I just want the chance to see my children grow up and beyond- I’m terrified xo
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I’m feeling the same. A Facebook memory came up of my husband and little boy on holiday a few years ago and I’m sitting crying thinking I won’t see him grow up.
I’m waiting for pathology from double mastectomy four weeks ago - should have been back last week but surgeon is on holiday so end of next week maybe.
Everyone keeps saying it will be fine but it’s really hard in the waiting unknown time.
I did get some mirtazapine from my GP for sleep and they’re also an anti depressant.
When I was first diagnosed I was having panic attacks every hour and I got some diazepam which really helped. I may need to take one today, but I was trying to keep them for next week when I know I’ll be panicking ahead of my appointment and I don’t think they’ll give me any more.
Please speak to your GP - mine was great and they even got their mental health person to call me (at that time I was feeling better and in the cinema with my boy but the offer was there when I need them).
You will get through this xx
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I am not surprised you are confused. They can sit in a meeting with a lot of experts discussing cases til the cows come home but you are NOT a case!
You are a woman who has suddenly been catapulted into a world of breast cancer. Unfortunately the best treatment is usually surgery and what woman is going to welcome that?
Actually I have met one - in hospital in 2003. She had a genetic form of breast cancer in her family. She had a double mastectomy with silicon implants at around 20 years old. She then went to live in Australia.
Unfortunately she developed an infection in one of the breasts so she flew back to London to get it treated. I was also in hospital for an infection after a lumpectomy - over Christmas so we celebrated together. She told me her story and I told her mine. I got a lot of support from my fellow sufferers. So you will never be alone.
I now have a fully reconstructed (diep) left breast and one real one. I prefer the real one but the other’s the best I can hope for. I got another type of breast cancer in the same breast in 2022 and I had had radiotherapy in 2004 as part of first treatment.
The rules say you can only have radio once on the affected breast so I had to agree to have a mastectomy.
I am now 69 and maybe it’s easier at this age to accept life on life’s terms but I am onky human and I have done a lot of grieving.
Seagulls
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Hi
I feel for you and I know nothing I can say will change anything. I was only going to say are you sure it’s stage 3 and not grade 3, my team kept telling me it’s stage not grade as they are different things, I didn’t think you got a stage until all scans and operations were done?
Lots of hugs
xx
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I want to second what @chillout365 has said - are you sure it’s not GRADE 3 ? I’ve been diagnosed with grade 2 cancer but I’ve no idea if the stage until further scans have been done and I’ve been told it may not even be staged until after my surgery if they discover LNI and then do further scans …
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Thank you, counselling is a good idea. The kids are worried and I want to be strong for them and so I have a chance of coming out the other side. If I feel a glimmer of hope it’s not long before my worry about scans etc shatter it. I feel so tired and lots of that must be mental. I will reach out to try to speak to someone to help with my thought patterns- thank you
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Hi, thank you all. I was told it is stage three and grade two. I’ve CT scan now on 31st and bone scan on 9th. I’m so scared. I’m finding myself staring at the kids and going down a rabbit hole. Thank you all so much xo
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Hello Sam,
I’m so sorry you find yourself in such an anxious time in your life.
I felt I had to reach out to you as my daughter was diagnosed three years ago aged 39.Her son was nine months old at the time and she was still breastfeeding.
In those first days and weeks she was inconsolable and her first words to me were I can’t leave my son without his mummy.It was truly heartbreaking.
Fortunately she had a very kind gp who recommended she start straight away on some antidepressants,these certainly helped her in the long run and just took the edge of her anxiety.Maybe that could be something you would consider that would help you too.
The days and weeks seem never ending especially when you are waiting for results and we all understand so much on this forum how our mind and thoughts can be overbearing at times.
I wonder if you have a local Maggies near you as they are amazing places where you can just pop in and have a chat even without an appointment.
Of course your thoughts are taken over with worry over your children you’re a mum and that’s what we do worry!
By the way my grandson is now nearly four and my daughter is happy and getting on with life.
Sending a very big virtual hug xx
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Hi @sam3 I am a few weeks further down the line to you but also Grade 2, Stage 3. I also had to have a CT scan and a bone scan. Both were clear - so hope that gives you some reassurance although I totally understand your fear. My GP offered antidepressants but gave me some Valium to take short-term. I took one when I went for the scans and also for the results and it took the edge of my panic. I am also a terrible worrier. Take care. xx
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Thank you the stage three thing has completely shaken me (all of it has). It doesn’t help that I haven’t been off Google but I’ve literally never felt so scared. I know I am going to be a nervous wreck with the scans. I have all these new joint pains and a very bloated tummy and I am worried sick that it’s to do with the cancer xo
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Hopefully not. I think you notice every ache and pain and think the worst. I lost nearly a stone because I couldn’t eat - then started to worry about my weight loss! I was quite sore for some weeks after the biopsies, but the scans helped. Hopefully your pains and tummy are just the stress of it all. I also scared myself stupid on Google - probably natural, but it won’t change anything and will just add to your fears.
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I hope so. I keep telling myself that if it was pain due to cancer, it wouldn’t just have coincided with the biopsy but my mind is so frazzled, nothing is really settling me. Have you had surgery yet or any other treatments? I’ve been told surgery is a definite but I’m not sure what else, I guess that depends on the scans xo
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My surgery is booked for a couple of weeks as the surgeon is on holiday. They gave me a chart of what happen week by week following surgery, so everything is broken down into stages. And it seems as though they focus on just this stage at the moment. I have found that useful as it feels less overwhelming…although still very scary. What treatment follows depends on how many lymph nodes are affected.
My brother in law has just had treatment for prostate cancer and he gave me some good advice, which was stress is bad for cancer, so try not to worry. Focus on doing things you like and keep distracted. I’ve been trying to practise that.
Best of luck. xx
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That is good advice indeed. I’m always so stressed out about one thing or another and I wish I had tried not to be that way. It certainly can’t have helped. I think I’m going to book some reiki sessions to try to help me deal with the stress side of things a bit at least. I hope you can relax as much as is possible on the run up to your surgery 
xo
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