Hi Everyone. Seems like I’ve joined quite a club! My journey so far has been… fairly scary, but not terrifying. I found a lump in my armpit four weeks ago - it was big, don’t know how I could have missed it before though it was quite low down and couldn’t feel it with my arm raised. Straight to GP, who put me down for bloods and to see the breast cancer specialist - appointment took just two weeks.
Lump was cancerous, mammo and ultrasound found a 1.2cm lump in breast - which I still can’t feel, even though I know where it is. CT scan showed no secondaries, and I’m due for op next Tuesday, 24th. I’m coping pretty well, though every little twinge and cough is making me paranoid. I’ve very little appetite - since Xmas - and I have a teeny pain that comes and goes just below my ribs on the right side, also an achy chest.
I keep telling myself we caught this really early, it’s very unlikely it’s spread beyond the lymph gland yet, and even if it has the chemo will get it… won’t it?
Also, does anyone know of a telephone support system for partners? Mine is finding it very hard to cope, he is retired and has no-one to talk to (we have no family.)
Yes it does seem like a club. It’s not good meeting in these circumstances but it is comforting to know that others are going through similar things and can appreciate how you feel. Sounds like you are coping very well.
Your diagnosis sounds similar to mine. I found a lump in my armpit and was diagnosed just before Christmas and I have a tumour in my breast which can’t be felt as it is too diffuse. I too was told there were no secondaries. I think the docs are very upfront these days, my breast care nurse assured me that if they did think there were secondaries they would tell you. And yes you are right if by chance there is an odd cancer cell on the move that couldn’t be detected the chemo should wipe it out
I think you have every reason to be optimistic and although you will have days when you feel down, try to keep thinking positively it does help. If you need reassurance about aches and pains do speak to your doctor/consultant or nurse. I think it is common to worry about twinges and pains, I know I did.
My treatment is chemo first and then surgery and I am already on my second cycle of chemo. Hopefully you will feel even more positive once treatment starts as you know you are fighting it.
Sorry to hear that your husband is finding it hard to cope. I would suggest you speak to your breast care nurse to see if there is a local support system or contact the nurse on this site to see if they know of national number he could contact. I’m sure there will be someone he can talk to. It is important for both of you that he gets help if he needs it.
Anyway good luck with your operation next week. It’s the start of the fight back.
I am sorry to read that your husband is finding it difficult to cope. He can call our helpline 0808 800 6000 Monday to Friday 9-5 or Saturday 9-2. He may also find it helpful to talk to the Samaritans 08457 909090, as they offer a safe and non-judgemental place to talk through feelings. They also offer an email service <script type=“text/javascript”>eval(unescape(‘%64%6f%63%75%6d%65%6e%74%2e%77%72%69%74%65%28%27%3c%61%20%68%72%65%66%3d%22%6d%61%69%6c%74%6f%3a%6a%6f%40%73%61%6d%61%72%69%74%61%6e%73%2e%6f%72%67%22%3e%6a%6f%40%73%61%6d%61%72%69%74%61%6e%73%2e%6f%72%67%3c%2f%61%3e%27%29%3b’))</script>.
Hi Suzanne, I’m another recently diagnosed and waiting for op on Friday and there are many others here in the same boat so you’ve come to the right place - the folk here are so supportive. I’m reading all I can about the stage I’m at but not thinking too far ahead, once I’ve had the op and I know exactly what I’m dealing with then I think I’ll feel happier. It’s the not knowing that is so hard isn’t it? Everyone has said that the waiting is one of the hardest parts, it must be the same for you. I’m just trying to keep busy until Friday and then another wait, one day at a time as they say, and trying to stay as positive as possible. We’ve managed to laugh as well as cry about all this, it’s a real rollercoaster of emotions. Sorry to hear about your husband, I’m sure the number given will be a great help - our partners feel so helpless in all this don’t they but there is support out there for him.
Thanks everyone. Today one of my work colleagues cut my hair for me. I’ve had it long nearly all my life, it does feel a bit odd, but I like it - and it will be a lot easier to manage. I’m lucky that work are being so helpful, I’m going to be able to do some work from home once I feel a bit better. I’m due to retire in December anyway, and I’ve asked about early retirement - but then I’ve worked for them for thirty years, so I think I’ve earned a bit of consideration (and if they don’t co-operate, I can make damned sure they’d be glad to get rid of me!)
Hi Piper and Susanne, am in similar boat to you,got my diagnosis on 29th Jan and going in for lumpectomy and sentinal node biopsy on Monday 23rd. It’s a mad surreal time,feel like I’m in a mental play and going through the motions but surely this can’t be happening to me !
Am trying to focus on being practical and not emotional but am very aware that it could just sneak up on me and hi jack me at any moment and I will dissolve in a heap.
Busy busy, just getting my head around going into hospital feeling fine coming out feeling rubbish… thats a bit back to front, oh the waiting is driving me bonkers !
Keep in touch and we can compare notes as we go along,side by side,hand in hand.
Hi everyone. I had my op last Monday 9th Feb. After 5 weeks of waiting I was soooooo…ready for it. Sounds odd but I was relieved that something was happening at last. I had a Wle and sentinel node biopsy. Not too bad…but again I have to wait another 4 weeks, well 2 and a half now for results. So I can totally understand how you feel Sandra…the waiting is the worst. Keep yourself as busy as possible and try not to think further than the next step…not easy though is it! Hi Piper good luck this Friday with your op.
I really identify with that surreal comment, Sandra. It’s like there’s two of me - the one that’s got cancer, and the other one who’s carrying on as usual, bouncing around and getting things done. It’s always been part of my identity to be the healthy one - hubby has had poor health on and off for years, and various friends and colleagues have chronic illnesses - asthma etc. Now I have to adjust to the change - it’s weird.
Yup, welcome to our weird world, sounds a bit schitzophrenic(excuse the spelling if it’s wrong) maybe we are all just having some sort of mental episode, my life is certainly a bit bonkers now,especially as I feel fine !
People react to me differently too, my main friends are great but it’s those ones that don’t know me that well, and oooooh those Mums at the school gate ! I should be more generous maybe they are just embarassed,don’t know what to say,scared, I don’t know,maybe its because I’m just being “normal” that’s freaking them out. Lol.
I don’t really know what normal is anymore. Maybe they always looked at me strangely and I just never noticed before… will be laughing if that blue dye for sentinal node testing turns me really blue and smurf like,that would give them something to talk about, or maybe i could just emblazon it with a white diagonal cross and they might just think I’ve taken my support of the scottish rugby team a tad too far this year…I mean,what is wrong with just a tartan scarf !
Sorry, am probably sounding a total nutter now,big hugs to you all,keep chatting.
Hi Susanne, I can Identify with everything you and all the ladies are saying, it is so sureal, for me its like living in one of those dreams you know isn’t true but you cant wake up from it, do you understand what I mean or am I totally losing the plot lol
I was dianosed on 27th of January, I know I have to have a mastectomy but that is about all. My breast consultant is waiting for the results of other tests which I was refered for before I was diagnosed with this breast cancer.Anyway I had the last tests done today, they would have been done before but the consultant I saw who said I had to have the test had forgot to refer me, and if it wasn’t for me getting upset when my gp rang me on Monday I would have still been sitting here waiting for the apointment that wasn’t going to come. But not to worry it has been done now, the only thing is like you all have said it is the waiting.
Well Good luck to all you ladies that are going infor the treatment soon, and please let us know how it goes
Take care
Love Heather
xx
Losing the plot? I think I’ve lost the whole flippin’ acreage! Today was my last day in work before the op. I was starting anyway to plan for my retirement, so was tidying things up and writing up a “how to” manual for my job. Now I’ve had to do a quick-n-dirty guide, so hopefully there won’t be too much chaos while I’m gone. Fortunately I’ve been able to palm off all my students to other people - that was the first thing I did (no reports to write - bliss!) But it’s another part of “me” that’s gone - at least for now. And although I was getting ready to let go of it, it’s the way it’s been rushed on me I’m having trouble adjusting to.
Good luck for your op Piper ,you are just ahead of me, Im on the table Monday and to you Susanne,you aren’t far behind me… just want to get on with it now, only a few shorts weeks since diagnosis but omg how they have dragged on forever…
Hope to catch up with you all next week.
Hi Susanne, my op is the day after yours on the 25th, same size tumour too.
I’m having the lumpectomy and axillary node dissection. I was offered sentinel node biopsy using the radioactive tracer but only for research purposes and would still be having the dissection. I still don’t know what type of cancer it is yet. Just when I think I understand all the information, I realise I don’t!
Hi Sandra and Lulu. We’ll be the triplets then - competing to see who can throw up the most during chemo!
It’s amazing how many people have had breast cancer, or have a relative or friend who has. One of my colleagues told me her mum had it thirty years ago, and still plays tennis and hockey (I do hope that isn’t complusory!) and the girl who cuts hubby’s hair had it fifteen years ago. It’s quite encouraging - I do like positive stories.
Good luck Sandra and Lulu - I’ll be thinking of Sandra, but I’m afraid when it’s your turn Lulu I’ll still be flying on pretty clouds of anaesthetic, if the last time I had one was anything to go by!
Hi Sandra (I know your in hospital now), Susanne and LuLu, Just to say good luck with your ops. through this week. Will be thinking of you all. Your right about the aneasthetic Susanne, ‘floating’ is the right word, then before you know it your’e awake!!!
Hugs to everyone!
Nellxxx
Last time, when I had my hysterectomy, I was first down at 11am, and last one back - the other girls were getting worried about me! I was still fast asleep at 7pm when hubby came in to visit, didn’t wake till the morning - the first thing I remember is being sick down the consultant’s trousers just as he was saying I couldn’t have any more of the anti-nausea drug (he changed his mind - wonder why?)
Then when they’d taken me off the morphine, they came round to offer sleeping pills. I just took the one, and slept through until the middle of the following afternoon - though they said I’d woken up and eaten my lunch!
I’m always like that. I once had to have valium for a root extraction, and apparently I was singing while the dentist was trying to drag the root out with a hammer and chisel! Even a spoonful of cough-medicine has me dozing for a couple of hours.
Hi Susanne,
Think the staff will be keeping a mighty close eye on you! On the other hand they might quite like the ‘singing’ - hey free entertainment, that doesn’t happen very often.
I just felt amazingly great, not how I expected to feel! so maybe this time it will be ok for you too! Third time lucky!!!
hi everyone
Just to say best wishes to Susanne and Lulu for tomorrow and Wednesday. I’ll soon be over with, then home to do some quality sleeping and chilling time!! Hope everything went well for you on friday Piper and for you today Sandra, thinking of you …nell