Remember how Four Weddings and a Funeral starts?

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Yes, the bit when Hugh Grant wakes up late and comes out with a mouthful of expletives.

Well that’s me, after getting my results.

First the good news - nodes are still negative. End of good news.

Surgery: the IDC was all taken out, but there was DCIS in it and around it that they didn’t know about and couldn’t see on any of the scans I’ve had, so the surgeon’s going back in to take some more of me away. Because this is an unknown quantity, she couldn’t say whether that will clear things or not, so I’ll just have to wait for the results from that lot to see whether I’ll need a THIRD surgery. And of course there’s the possibility that a third surgery could mean mastectomy, but that’s all speculation for the moment and we can’t even start to guess whether that’s likely or not likely.

Size: had thought it was 16mm or 14mm depending on who you spoke to (MRI or US) but it was actually 13mm. But whats a millimetre between friends.

Grade: the core biopsy had said 2, but it’s now 3. (quote Four Weddings again please.)

Er status: I had thought it was 6/8, it’s actually 4/8. Still positive though.

Pr status: 6/8, that hasn’t changed from the biopsy, still positive.

HER2 status: Bummer. More Four Weddings quotes please - Positive.

SO… from having surgery for a Grade 2 IDC with radiotherapy and tamoxifen on the cards, I go for almost everything - surgery, chemo, herceptin, radiotherapy, and tamoxifen. With the possibility of the trump card of mastectomy still lurking in the background.

Right then, I’ve got to go and tell my girlies, and then I have a meeting this evening with my swimming cronies so I won’t be back on till later. I need to go for a wander in those dark, dark woods for a while.

CM is NOT a happy camper and is looking for a hairdresser to cut her long hair off. Little Princesses, you’re going to get another donation.

:frowning:

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Oh, Choccie, I’m sorry that the results have got worse. I remember when I seemed to get worse news every visit, having started out with a roughly similar initial diagnosis, and the results kept changing. That was a really bad time. At least I got away with one WLE, though. It was put to me that oestrogen receptive was ‘good’ because an additional therapy would be effective, but that’s a highly specialised definition of ‘good’.

The uncertainty of the diagnosis is shi%%y to have to deal with on its own, never mind the out and out bad news. Hold to the good news about the nodes, though. That’s really important.

Best wishes

Cheryl

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Hi ChoccieMuffin,
I’m sorry to hear about your results & the extra surgery you’ve got to have, have they given you any indication of when it shall be?
I shall be thinking of you.
Lots of love
Helen xxx

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Hi CM

Well we all seem to start out grade 2 small tumour and rads…however it usually changes and being 3 x positive is a really good thing…so thats a good point! Her2 pos is actually not a bad thing these days as herceptin is a bloomin wonder drug that both me and my daughter are on…and it has negligable side effecte…hurrah! It stops the her2 monster sitting on the cells shouting grow grow…so look at it as an assasin!
Pr and er + is fab as there is something to stop the little beggars feeding on hormones…so they die of starvation!
As for having to go back for a bit more scraping out…I had to do that and so did my daughter…we both have great boobs now…daughter has dcis around her 10mm tumour…
AND even if you have to have the mx…just think you can have a designer pair rebuilt!..If I turn out to be BRACA…which is highly possible I’m having both removed…and will get myself a perfect pair on the nhs…most folks have to pay!!!

No nodes…pop the cork girl…no tax!!! fec or similar only…a reason to celebrate!

You are going to be just fine and we are going to hold ur hand all the way xxx

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Hi Choccie,

Glad you’ve finally got your results & sorry about the news but …SNAP on virtually every front (xcept ER & PR Neg). Been home for couple of hours now after 2nd surgery so just fingers crossed for 4th Feb results - otherwise MX for me!!

cyber hugs chick - xxx - Chris

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I am sorry to hear about your extra surgery, CM. It happened to me the other way round. Thought I had DCIS but came out of surgery to find out had IBC not spotted in mammogram. I had another WLE/lymph node clearance (nodes clear) but didn’t need chemo altho had to have rads. Understand what a shock it is and how much you need the Four Weddings quotes. Wine and chocolate are needed and if necessary both in the same glass. Wendy xxx

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Was mouthing the words before I even read post - so sorry CM - BUT no nodes is the best news you could have had, so hang onto that bit.

I’ll keep it all crossed that the next surgery removes all offending areas - it’s not uncommon to find DCIS - after all, the tumour started somewhere… and it sounds like it’s still not a huge, huge area - so more positives.

There’s nothing positive about chemo, so won’t try to fob you off with any platitudes there… tho I suppose at least you’ll be throwing every anti bc treatment known to man at ‘your’ dx - so just consider it the belt and braces approach…

HER+ is not ideal, but herceptin has made huge diff - and with the ER/PR+ things, you know you can do the whole hormone therapy thing there… all else I can say, CM, is that some people really know how to go over the top… but I really like ott people, so I’m here to cheer you on xxxxxx

Sophie x

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Thank you ladies. I’ve got “at least the nodes were clear” burned into the inside of my eyelids! And I’ve been threatening to have my hair cut for a while, so no I have an excuse to do so.

Surgery is tomorrow afternoon (eek! but at least I’m not hanging around waiting) so OH has to trot up to his hospital for his heart surgery tests and pre-op on his own. and I’m disappointed she couldn’t fit me in on Thursday instead so at least I could have been there for him, but he’s the most sorted bloke I know and won’t be in the least bit bothered by the tests.

Not having large quantities of wine tonight, I did that last night and I don’t really want to go into hospital reeking of alcohol and suffering from a hangover! But I have had a bit of my christmas chocolate that I was hoarding for a bad day. Thorntons Ginger this time, quite tasty!

Off to the dark, dark woods to look for a monster or two.

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Hi CM,

I just want to echo Sophie that although it doesn’t seem like good news, I felt when they told me i had to have more surgery and all the other treatment i had the initial panic attack, then thought that at least they were going to throw everything at it and that has to be a good thing? You have no node involvement and that is brilliant news! Cross the mastectomy bridge IF you get there just take it 1 step at a time that’s all you can ask of yourself.
Give yourself a week or so to digest all the info you have had and you will feel calmer, it takes a while to get your head round all that information.
Am thinking of you, best wishes,
Bev x

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I’m so glad you don’t have to wait for your surgery, what a relief no wait for once! Your OH will will be fine He’ll be more worried about you, bless!
I have got my full clearance on friday afternoon, so will keep my fingers crossed for both of us xxx

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Was hoping it was going to be a different post from you, BUT I agree with everyone… NO NODES is really something to celebrate. OK, I couldn’t sing and dance when my Onc told me that, because at the time my mind was just reeling from the rest of the news, but at some point I thought “phew”, thank goodness for that at least. Everything is happening so quickly at the moment, but it means you won’t have an awful long wait before surgery, and I am wishing you ALL the best for tomorrow. No words will help much at the minute, but LOADS of us are rooting for you, Choccie.x
Big hug to you, and hope OH gets on fine, too.
Heather.xx

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Hi ChoccieMuffin
What sh***y news, but as everyone else has said, celebrate the “no nodes” bit. You’ve been waiting so long for the results it must have been awful. Thank goodness you don’t have another long wait for surgery.
Sarah x

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If this isn’t the time for hoarded chocolate, Choccie, I really don’t know what is, especially since alcohol really isn’t recommended right before anaesthetics.

Perhaps if you and your OH are worrying about each other it will steady your nerves about your own procedures.

Isn’t chocolate poison for most monsters?

Best wishes for tomorrow.

Cheryl

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Up and @ 'em choccie - you’ll both be fine, if a bit tender. Barbara

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xx

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So sorry the news was not so good. Good luck with the surgery tomorrow my thoughts will be with you and I’ll have a little drink on your behalf(any excuse!) Eileen xx

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Smiley, I’m living on the memory of last night’s Rioja. It really was very tasty and must’ve been a good one because I DIDN’T have a sore head this morning!

I’m not screaming, crying, fretting or otherwise falling apart, probably because I’m actually so relieved to have the bloody results and at least I now know what I’m facing. Well most of it anyhow. I suppose I’m just a bit sad, and trying to get my head round surgery again.

I actually feel a bit dazed really. I’m sure it’ll sink in soon enough but right now it doesn’t actually feel real - does that make sense? I know it’ll feel plenty real enough when I’ve got my head in a bucket (I’m definitely going to go out and buy a red one!) but for now the numbness is fine by me.

Still haven’t managed to find my way back to the woods. I’ve been off the forum for a couple of hours and the place is mobbed!

My girlies (and even my boy) have been lovely, and I’ve had careful hugs from both of my youngest (boob still sore from last surgery). They’ve been amazingly calm about the whole thing, and they know that I’m not hiding anything from them. They are brilliant, and I think I’ll be getting much of my strength from them over the course of the next year.

And at least my nodes are clear … :wink:

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Hi Choccie
I remember being told my nodes were clear when I went for the results of my WLE and SNB and not being able to feel as relieved as I maybe should have since I was told at the same time that I should have a double mastectomy - I had tumours in both breasts.

However 6 weeks post mx, as I am now, I realise how brilliant that bit of news was. Everything is healing nicely and it all seems so long ago.

Good luck with your surgery and remember - your nodes are clear. :slight_smile:

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Oh, meant to update you lot about the letter *wot I rit* and the outcome.

The consultant was really very good today, for which I am very grateful. In my letter I had told her about the orderly and what he said, and she says that the matter has been taken up with the theatre team. She was not impressed, and apologised for the upset.

In the letter I also said I woke up in agony last time, and she said that she’d had a conversation with the anaesthetist who confirmed I had received the standard anaesthesia. I just said that maybe I’m particularly susceptible to surgery pain, or woke up too early, but I wasn’t blaming the anaesthetist as I’m not an expert so wouldn’t know what the usual thing is. Just that I was in great pain and could they make a note of that for future surgery. So hopefully tomorrow will find me waking up in a fuzzy morphine haze.

As for the results, she admitted that she usually stresses that the results are sometimes NOT available and I might get a phone call, but if she hadn’t done that with me she apologised and she appreciated the anguish I’d had. I made a point of saying I didn’t want to raise any complaints or anything like that about what had happened, because I knew the BCN had tried very hard to get the results to me and was doing her best, so her motives were good even if it completely messed with the inside of my head.

The surgeon even said “would you prefer to be changed to another consultant” to which I immediately said not at all, I was very happy with what she’d done so far. I felt she really took her time to explain things, and didn’t sugar-coat anything. If she wasn’t able to answer my questions (all written in my little note book - thanks for that tip ladies, it was really, really helpful) she said so straight, and told me who I’d need to talk to about them. Mainly the oncologist.

It could have been a dreadful meeting, but it was actually very well handled and I’m grateful to her for being straight-up and business-like, not being “nice”. Because if she had been, I would have dissolved. I actually felt very proud of myself for not blubbing, though I did have to steady myself a couple of times.

Anyway, more surgery tomorrow for an unknown quantity of DCIS. That’s pretty scary actually, but at least I know she’ll do her best, and only the path lab will be able to say what the next step is surgically.

I really should go to bed…

CM
x

And at least my nodes are clear!

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Just read your posts Choccie and wanted to say good luck to you for tomorrow.

Pauline x