Hi, it feels like I’ve been on a rollercoaster. I had a mammogram and ultrasound a couple of weeks ago (routine but also to check a lump I thought I could feel under the nipple). Both came back clear but my consultant is thorough and said that as he could feel it too, we needed further tests. I’ve then had MRI, Biopsies - which to everyone’s shock came back as cancer - both DCIS and Invasive cells outside this (1.7cm). I was then sent for a CT with dye and have been booked for a bone scan on Monday (feeling very sick about that one). Afterwhich it will either be treatment if they find anything or straight to mastectomy with DIEP flap… I can’t have an implant as I had - completely unrelated different type BC 23 years ago). Apparently radiated skin can’t take implants. So I’m currently researching the DIEP flat - between moments of realising I’ve tears running down my face. I’d love to hear anyones experience or advice with regads the surgery/how to prepare and the aftermath 
Thank you all x
Bless you. It sounds like they are being thorough, which is good. I had a CT scan and bone scan. The bone scan was ok, just close your eyes! Both came back clear thankfully. I can’t comment on the surgery side. I had a single mastectomy and no reconstruction - that was in September and it’s slowly settling down. Best of luck for tomorrow. x
Hi sorry to hear that you have another recurrence of breast cancer.
I was diagnosed with lobular bc 8 years ago and opted for a tissue expander at the time. I was expecting to wait 1-2 years but ended waiting 6 and a half. My tissue expander had caused necrosis and had to come out. I was then offered a diep reconstruction. The surgery went fine and the pain was very manageable, more of a discomfort. However a couple of weeks after getting home i developed a seroma which is apparently quite common. My after care nurse said this would go away on its own. Unfortunately it didnt and i ended up with the fluid forcing its way out thru my scar. It did take a few weeks of back and forward to clinic getting different treatments to drain it and dressings to heal it. None of this was painful just a bit inconvenient. Im not sure how common my complication is. Im coming up to 2 years in june since surgery. Tummy still feels tight at the scar area but not sore. I do have a nice flat tummy. So i would just ask some questions to make sure u feel confident to go ahead. All the best.
Hi @glimmers,
I’m sorry to hear what you’re going through and it really does sound like a rollercoaster of a time. Please know that we are here for you and I hope you find the forum a helpful and informative place.
You mentioned that you were researching DIEP flap surgery and so I thought you might find this forum discussion a helpful source of information and give you a chance to reach out to others who have gone through this: DIEP flap surgery experiences - Going through breast cancer treatment / Surgery - Breast Cancer Now forum
Please don’t hesitate to reach out if you need help finding anything here
Good morning all you lovely people.
First time posting despite being on this journey since start of August 2024.
Two surgeries later and all the bits before, during and after I’m reaching out.
I had my right breast removed in November and both sentinel nodes were positive so ANC was done on Christmas Eve - 3 more nodes involved and all level 1 and my surgeon had said chemo very unlikely.
However at my oncology appointment last week I find out that the recommendation is 12 weekly Paclitaxol followed by 4x EC over 12 weeks. Also RX for 3 weeks once chemo finished then a cocktail of drugs for the foreseeable.
Due to start chemo in next few weeks and very anxious.
I guess I’m looking to chat with others, will get my cuppa and read all other posts later but I had to post before I chickened out.
I have been in such a dark place since finding out my plan last Monday and ignoring family and friend’s messages and calls. I am full of such alien feelings and emotions right now: anger, resentment, sadness, grief etc and want to hide away.
How do I reclaim happiness, hope, kindness and acceptance - I don’t like myself right now!!!
Thank you for sharing your experience, it sounds like you’ve had quite a few obstacles to overcome. I feel like information is key so this is really helpful.
sorry you are going theough this again. I had left breast segmental mastectomy in 2003, found two lumps of unrelated breast cancer in 2022 and had to have mastectomy as radiotherapy can only be done once. I had an immediate diep reconstruction it was 8 or 9 hours of surgery but I managed to survive it aged 67. Now 69 and still alive. Diep is ok but I would rather have two nipples even if the nipple is dangerous apparently as it has all the ducts meeting up in it. sods law. Breast cancer surgeons don’t like to take risks but I do.
Seagulls
@rizlacat95
It’s really good you found the confidence to reach out. That first step can be really hard.
I just wanted to say I think you are doing great. You were given a cancer diagnosis, had 2 surgeries in a short space of time, dealing with the post-op exercises/recovery/pains/emotions involved with those operations, about to enter a treatment phase that until a few days ago you were told you didn’t need… I’m impressed, but I’m also not surprised you want to hide right now.
I also found the changes during my consultations difficult to deal with. Naively, I latched onto the first thing I was told, and when the pathology result showed it was bigger, lymph nodes were involved, it completely floored me. I too went to a dark place and gave my husband instructions on what to do when each of my daughters get married, on where he should move to for family support when I was no longer here… I have tears now even two years on recalling it.
I went through a different cocktail of drugs to you, but neither are a cocktail that anyone would want. Chemotherapy is hard but do-able. Eventually it will be 12 weeks of your life out of (in my case) 59 years.
I found radiotherapy easier but again, it was yet another treatment to get through, reminding me of the life I was living and not the one I wanted.
I am not surprised you feel anger resentment, sadness, grief… you were tootling along on a life you were probably happy with, making choices you wanted with a freedom and peace of mind… and one day, you were just pulled away from it and into cancer world - a dark, scary place that you didn’t chose, where they speak a different language, and you feel totally alone and you just want to hide and lick your wounds and try to figure out what the hell is going on and how you get back to your life!
To reclaim your happiness, hope, and acceptance maybe you have to start by being kind to yourself?
There is no right answer here, we are all different people but what would you say to your best friend or family member if the tables were turned? Would you say you’re not very nice because you feel angry and resentful about your diagnosis and the treatments you need to undergo and you’re not answering our messages to you? I don’t think so.
- Listen to your body and your head - ‘what do you need right now?’ ’ what is stopping you have hope?’ ‘do you understand your treatment plan?’
- be kind to yourself,
- take one day at a time dealing with the here and now
- and DO NOT beat yourself up… you’re doing the best you can in this strange new world where there are no clear rules
Would it help to speak to your breast care nurse, your local Maggies/cancer centre or breast cancer now helpline. Talking to someone may help you accept this current situation but also help you see the wonderful future you can still have, restoring your hope. Talking may help you understand what you need right now and what role your friends and family, if any, can play right now.
Would maybe texting them to say something like, ‘thank you for your best wishes. I am struggling to get my head around things at the moment but will text when I feel more able’ give you the space you may need but make you ‘feel kinder’ to those that have reached out?
If you feel it would be useful, could you give close friends jobs to do so they feel they are helping - could they drop in some shopping bits, take kids to school, take turns to drop in a meal whilst you are undergoing treatment, drive you to an appointment, go out for coffee one day for diversion - take them up on anything that makes your life easier. I wonder if you have helped your friends in the past when they have gone through difficult circumstances?
Read some of the stories on here about women many many years after diagnosis living very happy lives which will hopefully allow you to feel even more hopeful.
Between treatments, I used to plan things to do - could just be going for a walk, seeing family, cuddling up on the couch and having a family film night with takeaway. Planning them/remembering them helped me get through the rubbish weeks when I just wanted to lie on the couch.
I hope there’s something in here that helps.
Just remember, you are still you. You’re just a bit battered, bruised and lost right now but you sound a tough cookie, get reclaiming!
Big hugs
x
A great reply - so sorry for what’s happening to our new friend. Welcome to the club no one wants to be in. I was gutted to get it - breast cancer that is. It’s NOT FAIR - I ate my greens, didn’t drink, regularly walked, gardened and cleaned the house and was slim. Where I went wrong was having breasts. Men get breast cancer too but not often so maybe that makes it worse?
Seagulls
Love Seagulls
absolutely it is NOT FAIR, like you - theres not much left for me to change. Did the diet, exercise, supplements - ticked all the boxes! I think thats what leaves me feeling slighly helpless or that its just very very bad luck. I was initally diagnosed, with unrelated cancer at 31 - then managed over 22 years absolutely fine. Thank you for the support x
I am feeling the same. I’ve had a rollercoaster for at least 5 yrs. Started with IBS, then GERD. Next hyperparathyroidism, followed by my hormones tanking. Placed on HRT in August 23. By Nov 24, BC, DCIS found. Then stomach ulcers. Finally had my surgery 2 weeks ago. Just waiting on oncology for next steps. Off hormones a week ago as the tumor was ER/PR positive. Worried how that will work out.
It was also HER2 positive. Not sure what that means.
Haven’t been working since Mar of 2024 so am feeling extremely isolated which some of I’ve done to myself. I want to work! I need to get out of my head. Are others here working while going thru this? How are you managing?
Welcome to the forum.
I stopped my HRT on the day of my diagnosis in November. Had my. Mirena coil removed in the sexual health clinic a few hours later and disposed of my oestrogel and ostrogen pessaries. I was expecting hot flushes and night sweats again but experienced neither so hopeful I’m through the menopause. I hope that you too don’t have the return of the menopausal symptoms. I do miss the pessaries as it really helped to stop my now leaking bladder 
I’m also triple positive. HER2 is a protein that binds to the surface of the cancer cells. There are targeted therapies that lock onto the HER2 protein that help to stop the cells from growing and dividing. My surgeon informed me that I was HER2 positive but did not discuss the treatment, said it was the remit of the oncologist to inform me when he discussed the chemo as it was their area of expertise. If you’ve not joined the HER2 thread it may be worthwhile. I’ve found it to be a really friendly, useful and informative group. Its been going for a year so a long read but it’s been really helpful to read that people have got through the treatment and surgery as often our treatment goes on for longer.
Work. I ploughed on while I was going through investigations. It was a welcome distraction from the worries and the routine was helpful however at times it was really hard as like
@rizlacat95 and you, my plan changed several times. I thought I might be able to work in some capacity whilst undergoing the targeted tharepy and chemo but I’ve prioritised myself and been signed off. I’m fortunate as I will get sick pay. I know others have no option but to keep working.
@rizlacat95 i think it’s an entirely normal response to hunker down. It’s hard enough dealing with your own feelings. Repeating and reliving your story can be painful, sad and exhausting. X
Good morning everyone. I had biopsies of two masses and one lymph node today. I first noticed a lump in October and finally messaged my doctor at the end of December when it was still there. Got my appointment with my OB on Jan 28 and things have moved quickly since then. I had an ultrasound two days ago and the doctor all but confirmed this is cancer. I can’t shake the guilt of not getting it checked right away. I guess I was afraid of making a deal out of nothing. Regretting that decision now and panicking that I’ve given it time to spread. I have an appointment to go over results and next steps on Monday morning. Will update with results, but wanted to say hi and talk to someone before I lose it.
Dear mama1982,
Welcome to the forum, the one you didn’t want to join, however we are all here for you with love and support.
Please don’t beat yourself up, you are now getting the treatment you need, take one day at a time, you have your appointment next Monday, hopefully a plan will be set out for you going forward. I would suggest, over the weekend you have a notebook to hand making notes, however big or small as when we get to our appointments we tend to forget the most important questions.
Please come back to let us know how you’re doing. Try to have a restful weekend (easy for me to say).
Thinking of you with the biggest hugs
Love Tili 
Hi and welcome, its natural to keep questioning yourself - all the “why didnt I” and “what if”. The important thing is that you did and now you are on the right track, I was similar to you - I felt something but convinced myself it wasnt anything - I probably waiting a couple of months too. Its overwhelming and alot to take in but I feel slighly better now that the wheels are in motion. Be kind to yourself and take everthing from this day forward (easier said that done) rather than the past that you can’t change.
Thinking of you and sending a virtual hug x
So sorry to hear of your experience here 
. I too had a large (9.5cm) DCIS with invasion into all but 2 axillary lymph nodes. Initially sent away as nothing could be seen on mammogram or ultrasound. Called back 2 days later as consultant did not see me at initial appt. The radiographer doing the ultrasound on that occasion could feel what I was feeling and was not happy to leave it. She biopsied it and the LNs too and thank goodness that she did.
I then had mastectomy with Diep flap recon followed by chemo and radiotherapy. Have to say, the surgery has been the easiest part of the journey for me, which the nurses at the time told me it would be but I didnt believe them as emotionally I was all over the place. My plastic surgeon was fab and I’ve had no problems at all with it. Op lasted 13 hours all in and was in for a full week as one drain wouldn’t stop but apart from that it’s been fine. Pain was minimal but what I had initially was controlled well with just paracetamol and a little codeine. Happy with stomach scarring and 10 months on, it’s fading nicely. I’m glad I opted to have reconstructive surgery at the time of mastectomy but realize not everyone would wish for that. I do have a bit of rib pain now but due to radiotherapy I’m told and will wear off hopefully.
Very best of luck with it all 
Its very reassuring to hear the surgery wasnt too bad - I know each experience is different but its good to know I’ve had my surgery date confirmed as the 2 March, I’m actually just wanting the time to pass quickly and get it done now. x