I start chemo tomorrow. Ive just been to look around the rooms for chemo as part of my pre assessment. It all looks so scary. They all looked really poorly. It was rammed with so many chairs, maybe 50, across 3 or 4 rooms. I feel really overwhelmed. I dont know what i was expecting, but i thought there would be screens between people. I dont want to be watched. Really scared for tomorrow x
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It is scary starting chemo because of the unknown and the rooms aren’t always the most welcoming places. I promise you will be fine bluesatsuma, the anticipation pre first session was the worst and the chemo nurses are some of the nicest kindest people I’ve interacted with on this journey so far.
Try not to worry about people watching you, I can say i was very self conscious especially with the cold cap on but everyone is in the same boat and absolutely noone is judging you. Make sure you have a book, tablet, activity to distract you and it will be over before you know it
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Hi
Sorry you are feeling so scared. I think my feeling was that we are all here for the same reason. I did notice that some patients were already having their infusions before I even started, and some were still there after I left. The time didn’t drag at all, but I am not cold capping which does take longer.
I can agree to take stuff to distract you, and the nurses are really lovely.
Sending virtual hugs xx
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Hi @bigpickle and @beckya. You are both right of course. I just need to put my big girl pants on and take a big deep breath. They put my picc line in today which was no where near as bad as i thought. Need to remind myself that I’ve already been through some scary procedures and they went fine. I can do it…if all of you are managing so brilliantly, then i should try to too.
Thank you x
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My hospital didn’t offer a tour when I had chemo last year. They had stopped them during Covid and never restarted. I suggested to the matron that a video tour would be useful, so that may be available now.
Anyway, it sounds as though where you are going is very similar to the unit I attended. To be honest not having screens was a good thing. It made it easier to chat to the lady next to me and I got some top tips from her around writing down the various timings of cold cap starting, saline starting etc. It helped me feel a little more in control.
I wish you all the best for tomorrow.
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Hello @bluesatsuma, the anticipation is definitely the worst but once you get started you’ll be feel much better. I had my chemo in a separate room (and no visitors due to Covid) which ended up being quite isolating so I think you’ll find being around others a comfort as well as a distraction.
As for feeling poorly, many of the (few) people I saw having infusions were chatting on their phones, one lady was even on a work zoom call!!
Good luck for tomorrow x
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@bluesatsuma Firstly I wanted to wish you well with your first chemo.
I didn’t have a tour, like already mentioned they stopped with Covid and didn’t start again. On the day I arrived I had no idea what to expect and what would really happen. I like you found it really odd being so close to others and that everyone could hear you talk to the staff and your husband. My husband and I are very private and tried so hard to have quiet conversations. Other people on the ward enjoyed a chat with those around them, some wanted to keep themselves to themselves. As in life each to their own. I found the place very noisy and having a cold cap on, my ears were partly covered making it hard to hear people clearly if they were across the ward. I didn’t see the same people very often so didn’t manage to get to know others, probably because I went to 4 different wards for the chemo.
As I had Herceptin by injection they had curtains that could be pulled around for this but the staff wouldn’t keep them closed as they wanted to keep on eye on everyone.
For me the best way to deal with the chemo and the surroundings was to wear headphones, listen to downloaded movies, tv shows or music when I was reading. I’d pop the headphones out if a member of staff needed to speak to me or my husband had returned from a walk and we wanted to chat.
Try to think of something that will work for you.
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Firstly, what youre feeling is natural. I felt the same. Im so private i was mortified to be in an open ward where everyone could see me.
Most hospitals allow you to bring someone to your first treatment so do ask about that.
I found when i started chemo (EC) they gave me morning appointments as the treatment was fairly long. If you get a morning appointment the wards isnt usually full.
People are quite poorly & it gives you a bit of a fright because youre doing so well. I just thanked God i wasnt as ill as some & was grateful to be as well as i was (stage 3 & working to be cured).
Everyone feels the same on the ward. Noone looks at you getting treatment or having the canula put in, in fact people look away. Some are on their phones, some watching an ipad or reading & quite a few sleepibg (i was sleeping in my later treatments as i was so tired).
Chemo nurses really are the best. They have seen so many of my tears (needle phobia) and do everything they csn to take your mind off of things; radio on, chat about their nights out, holidays, families and washing machines breaking! Thwy become almost friends.
They will have screena on rollers that thwy put up if someone is poorly, really overwhelming or getting their phesgo injection. If youre really struggling just ask them for it.
I found asking questions about what was hapoening helped me understand. I usually had my hands in warm water to get my veins up, canula in, drip with anti sickness medication, then chemo, then medication to take home.
Top tips:
Wear a short sleeved top with a cardiagan/jumper for easy access
Drink lots of water before & during
You can eat during chemo: fruit, sandwiches, snacks or boiled sweets. I preferred boiled sweets
Bring something to do. I didnt have the concentration for a book or film so messaged my friends on my phone who were always sending love & support
If youre cold capping go with damp hair & put in leave in conditioner
Some chemos can feel cold when they go in so being warm clothes - i have a huge primark scarf that was more like a blanket
Sending you love & positive vibes. Its daunting but you can absolutely do this. Its one step closer to you getting your normal daily life back x
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sorry your feeling scared at the unit I was at all patients talked and offered tips and guidance with each other and whoever was with them passed on helpful tips to who head with me and then as new people started these tips were passed onto new starters it was like everyone had safe hold of each other and passed it forward if that makes sense. The first infusion is the unknown, but you will more than likely see the same people each time and if you choose bonds and friendships forged out of something that’s trying to harm you, beauty can rise like a phoenix step by step take it a treatment at a time 
Shi xx
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Thank you all @naughty_boob @bigpickle @Pollyann @scientistamafier @Shi @beckya @Luskentyre1.
That all helps so much, thank you. I can’t take anyone tomorrow. My time is 2pm, and I’m told I’ll be done by 4 or 5. Its EC and I have a picc line. I’m sure I’ll be fine once I start…just fear of the unknown. @Luskentyre1 great tips! Thank you x
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When you walk out if the hospital today after treatment you will probably think what was all that worry about 
I hope someone is picking you up ?
With some chemos people are given Piriton just before chemo which makes you really sleepy. I get this and sleep mostly, so I might look quite poorly to others but in fact I am quite fine. Just blissfully asleep.
As for any tablets etc they give you to take home - get the nurses to write down when and what to take.
Good luck today !
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Good advice @ChristineP22. Thank you. My husband is picking me up. They told me it should only take 2 hours. Fingers crossed. X
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I cant take anyone either and I think it would massively help if we could. My treatment has been delayed as had to have mastectomy but I’m just as scared as you. Our chemo suite is a box room with many chairs stuffed into it. But we are made of strong stuff !! We will get through this xx
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All the best bluesatsuma, it will be over before you know it !
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Thanks @bigpickle and @epic1. 1 hour until i leave. Going to pop and get passport photos first because i will look a bit different if i leave it till next spring! Have a good day everyone. I’ll let you all know how it goes xxx
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Please let us know how you get on. Xx
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Hello darling girl
I know its scary, and a worry but you are going to be with some of the most lovely caring people and of course other patients who all have the same feelings
Just breathe
Drink lots of fluids take a book earbuds or kindle puzzle etc to do
The actual delivery is painless as you now have a PICC line
Its going to be ok but tell the team if you feel weird or anxious
Good luck
Tits and toes crossed. You’re going to be in another safe bubble for a while so please redt up
Xxx 
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Hi, I didn’t get a tour of the chemo room as they don’t have them here, I’m having my treatment in Bangkok and I have my treatment in my hospital room with a nurse.
It was fine! I left feeling totally normal, no side effects yet. The people on the ward were lovely and the staff were so kind. I felt no discomfort.
Now to wait for the incoming side effects!
Those of you waiting to start…it really was fine. Very organised and run with military precision and with big hearts xxx
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There you go. That’s the first one done.
Have a great weekend xx
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