Oh CK that is so sad for your friend! Lofe is so tough at times xx
I am awake pre chemo - must be practising for tomorrow night!!
Glad the herceptin went ok and i hope tomorrow goes smoothly for you too. I think this middle bit of treatment and the changeover of treatment is a time for being up and down! We’ve just got used to the fec and then we have to change and get used to a whole new something else!!!
You have been amazing CK. Helping and guiding us all through and carrying on your daily life too. This is just the next hurdle and it might be a higher jump but you can do it. As you said get those bloody big, tough pants on!
Sending you a big hug and lots of luck for treatment today CK xxxxx
Hi Ali and CK - been wide awake for hours boo to steroids - trying to distract from thinking re the dozy chemo starting in a few hours but house too cold to wander around and I wouldn’t want to disturb OH snoring by putting on the light!
Good luck to the Wednesday gang especially the new people on the doozy tuxedo or whatever it’s called - it may take my veins but it will never take my taste- buds!!!
Oh CK sorry to hear about your friend. I understand about worrying about your own mental wellbeing during treatment while supporting your friends and don’t think that is selfish. We have to do our best for ourselves to make sure we are still around to support our friends for many years to come! The Haven do some really good workshops and sessions on techniques to help us better deal with stresses when they come along, such as Emitinal Freedom Technique and mindfulness. Don’t know if you have a Haven near you, or if an equivalent support centre may offer similar? I am finding mindfulness is helping me deal with the other stuff life is throwing at me without raising my stress levels too much. I hope your treatment goes well today and you don’t get any more marks on that Bingo card xx
Ck - sorry to hear of your friends bereavement. Such a shock for her. None of us know what life has in store for us just around the corner.
I think one of the big lessons of cancer is that we must try and live and love each day as if it were our last! Hard to hang on to in the chemo cycle, but try we will.
Good luck with today’s chemo, ladies. Keep us posted and hope it is kind,
Xxx
CK, Jow and mrs Meow hope all went well today. That my 3 FEC done and dusted now! Feeling shattered tonight and a bit sickly but ok. I hate the first few days after treatment but i have everything i need to get through them! I just have to remember the good week i had before. Wishing you all few SE’s and a good night but remember if you are awake in the night there will always be someone else having a steroid night too ???
Lots of love xxx
Hi ladies. Thank you for your kind words. My friend is in a bad state but Im not in a good position to visit her. She has 3 daughters so should be ok. I think she is good with her cat, like me!
Yesterdays Herceptin went well and todays Docetaxol did too. Just waiting to see whats in store in the next few days. I didnt get to see Onc as she was running 3 hours late. Unfortunately she had a few ladies with not so good news to tell today which made me feel sad but I gave up my app so the others didnt need to wait even longer and I will see her next cycle. I will then be able to discuss the effects of Docetaxol by then. Not much to ask today.
2 days at the hospital is tiring, also the wide awake til 3am has shattered me, so hopefully will sleep tonight. Well, rest days in store so no need to worry about work:)
Hope todays chemo ladies are as goid as can be and speak later. Im bit too tired to reply to all posts but all are acknowleged.
Hi CK and Ali - well done on getting through today.
My first dozytopsoff nearly didn’t happen as I was short of breath in the hospital so needed ecg and xray but think am just so pumped with the steroids as found nothing to stall the chemo so did have it. Some funny flushes and tingly feet but am home and in one piece. Interesting was told they couldn’t afford to give me akynzeo this time as sickness expected to be less so didn’t need the big guns! Am a bit concerned that my injections are for 10 days as some of the other threads have struggled with more than five.
Hope you get comfortable nights everyone - is a strange feeling in this new territory - even the nurses said they think I am going to struggle which makes it hard work to keep the positivity flag flying - currently surviving but have been awake since 4am so hopefully sleep will happen!
Love to all x
Its hard to write this but i feel **bleep**e tonight!! I know its after having the trestment today but i feel tearful, scared and angry! I want to cry out loud but i cant because i dont want to upset my children so i am here instead - sorry!!. I literally HATE ALL OF THIS!! I just want to be me again!
I am scared of the new treatments next time and the unknown again and i am scared that all of this might not work!!
Sorry ladies. I just had to get this out of my head!! I’ll be ok in the morning xxx
Mrs Meow
I know whst you mean. One nurse said there are some ladies who are not affected too much by dozytoppsoff, hahaha and ypu only hear bad stories but never the good but the 2nd nurse said just take it easy as its cycle 4 so you are bound to feel it more! Erm, wnat does that mean? And then added, you can always call us if needed:0:0
The second nurse akso had me on pins as she said you can have a reaction with this trestment abd if you do dont worry we can deal with it, so I asked deal with what and she said well we wil stop treatment, we will give you oxygen and anytjing else you need. Akso you may get lower backache instsntly or tingling in the toes and fingers. Luckily I sailed through the treatment talking to the Docetaxol to treat me well but just anxiously waiting for the SEs now:0:0
I went to sleep at 3.30am and wome up at 9.30am so maybe similar pattern tonight. Have Aunt Sally cheeks now???
Ali and Jpw
Hope you have aeasy cyckes and the rest of you are coping well. Either half way or two thirds now.xxx
(((Hugs))) Ali this really is ?
I want to rant and rave too but there is so much else going on and OH is already on the edge I have to be strong one.
Hope you do feel better in the morning xx
Ali
Just seen your post! Get it out girl!!! Its **bleep**e **bleep**e **bleep**e but there will be light at the end of this tunnel girl!!! Moan, rant, blabber, cry, shout, we all do in our own way! We will be mended bit just a small price to pay! Ive heard so many successful stories lately which keeps me going with strength and determination. Lots of love.xxx
Chaffinch
Just like I said in my post. We are all dealing with this but still having to deal with all the other crap around us! My daughter had a meltdown but has apologised for being a ‘total dickhead’ in her own words!!! My date decided he had depression so I sacked him! Then my friends husband died, my other friend has found a tumour after having cancer twice already and having op on 15th but to make it worse her partner was bedridden and now is poorly having dialysis!!! Then to top it all an idiot adked me if chemo trearment has stunted my growth and she liked rhe fact thst theres someone smaller rhan her! Realky, using my treatment to get at me and bring herself up Aaaarghhhh!!!**bleep** **bleep** **bleep**??? LADY BOWLER, YOUR PANTS PLEASE!!!
Ali am so sad for you - tearful scared and angry is a place we all go sometimes there is no shortcut through the rubbish times - hope you can let it out a bit either by sharing on here or a sob in the shower which I’m sure we have all done too. Then kiddie cuddles will lift you back up.
It’s so crap but we are all inching forwards towards the same goal we have come so far in our own ways some steps forward some spectacular ones back but all towards the same goal of this being a dim distant memory. Hope you feel a bit stronger in the morning but take the time you need to get the big girl pants back on- we are all here to listen xxx
Well.i have slept and i do feel better - sorry for my whinge last night! I knew it was post chemo blues but as i say i just needed to say it!!
Chaffinch that comment about your growth has really made me laugh!! Are people for real?? Anyway get your platforms out ??? ??
Maybe we need to carry little cards around to give to people when they say ridiculous things. We could put ‘Please say. ‘I am sorry for being a Dickhead’ on them’!!
Oh the highs and lows of all.of this!! Thank you all for being there. I hope you are all feeling ok this morning xxx
Morning everyone,
Gosh, you steroided chemo ladies were really burning the midnight oil!
I’m day 7 now - still tired, lower back aches, taste buds numb, hungover feeling. Can’t be bothered with anything - certainly not noise, kids, dogs, housework, cooking … Feel like a fraud lying in bed all day though. Mummy guilt.
Ali, hoping in the light of day things seem a bit better. I know how you feel though. With kids around you the pressure is on to remain practical and positive all the time(though boy have I been grumpy and impatient this week!). There is no time for a cry or a meltdown apart from at night when you are alone. Let it out and try to talk to a friend about your worries and fears so they are not bottled up.
It’s hard to imagine that a few months ago our lives were normal - now it’s in and out of hospital, a rollercoaster of side effects, bald and bloated with no make up and recurrent diarrhoea or constipation!
The thing is, we will get through it and it gives us the biggest chance of getting rid of the cancer once and for all. It’s not an easy journey and certainly not one we can do alone.
Anyway, big hugs and strength to all of you,
Hope there are no side effects yet thanks to the steroids, Mrs.m, ck and jo, and Ali
Now to start trying to figure out what I fancy for lunch …
Glad you are feeling a bit brighter this morning Ali ?. Please don’t apologize for your moan. That’s what we are all here for. Without this forum I would be rocking in a corner by now xx
