Hi everyone. I have been diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma, grade 2 in one breast. My surgeon has recommended a single side mastectomy as the boundaries of the area are unclear. I think I’m in shock! I’m really back and forth about reconstruction Vs staying flat. I know I don’t want an implant, I just feel like putting something new into my body doesn’t feel right for me personally, although I can certainly see the benefits, I just don’t think I’d cope well knowing I had an implant. So I’m left with the option of staying flat or having DIEP reconstruction. The surgeon believes he can do a nipple-sparing mastectomy.
I’m just feeling so lost about how to make this decision. Part of me just wants to get it over and done with as quickly as possible and get back to living my life! The thought of having extra surgery that isn’t 100% necessary, and then all that extra pain and recovery time, is hard to wrap my head around. What if I don’t like the outcome? Would I feel worse about myself?! And going through all that to then not be happy with the results terrifies me! But then getting rid of everything, when he thinks he can save my nipple, feels like a step too far, and I don’t know how I’d feel staying flat, particularly when it’s on one side only. I’m trying to imagine how it would feel, but of course I can’t. I don’t like the idea of delayed reconstruction, because I don’t think I could go through the surgery twice, and because (from what I’ve researched) the reconstruction tends to be easier and look better if it’s done immediately.
I’m honestly right in the middle in terms of this decision. How does everyone decide? I know it has to be my own choice, but I’m curious how others have come to their decision and felt good about it? Or maybe you didn’t feel good about it?! It’s such a rubbish situation and it’s all so quick, I feel like I don’t have a second to think!
I would love to hear from others who are going through or have been through a similar thing. And I’m especially curious to know how people feel once everything’s done and you’re back to living your life.
I was in a slightly different situation since I had bilateral cancers so needed a double mastectomy.
I wanted immediate reconstruction and couldn’t imagine waking up from op and having no breasts.
BUT there was a nine-week minimum wait for reconstruction and I just wanted the cancer out so I went for the operation thinking I would get reconstruction later. However, I discovered I actually love being flat and couldn’t imagine having an implant or going through the long recovery which the DIEP involved.
I was back up running and at the gym by day 10 and walking miles a day from day three post op. I have absolutely no regrets and am so pleased the delay gave me the opportunity to avoid an operation which I didn’t know that I didn’t want.
Everyone is different and decisions are personal, good luck with whatever you decide xx
I had a right mastectomy last August. My surgeon explained all the various options and in the end I chose to have a silicone implant. The recovery is longer than going flat but for me it was the right choice.
I might have a reduction on the other side in a couple of years time, im going to see how I feel.
I originally had a lumpectomy 10 years ago. At the time I had said I wanted a mastectomy to just get rid of everything as I was in such shock at having cancer growing in me! But after discussion with the surgeon over my options he changed my mind and managed to save my nipple despite the tumour being right behind it. I think he felt as I was still relatively young, at 48!, it was important to save as much of my breast as possible at that time. I was really happy with the results, but I think I would have been ok going flat even then.
I have very recently had a recurrence of the same cancer in the same breast and, as I had had radiotherapy last time, I had to have a mastectomy. I weighed up all the options and decided to go flat on that side. If I had had reconstruction it would have been at the same time but without an implant. I didn’t want the extra risks involved, the longer recovery and discomfort from muscle and tissue being taken from my stomach and shoulder. Although I did joke I would be getting the extra benefit of a tummy tuck! I did look on the flatfriends website for information about going flat.
I had my operation at the end of October and it is now very well healed. I was fitted with a prosthetic breast at the hospital at the beginning of January and I am happy with that, with clothes on you you really can’t tell. I have got some lovely comfortable post surgery bras from m&s which fit the prosthetic in great.
It is weird being half flat and I think I would have preferred to go completely flat for balance. The option to go fully flat wasn’t offered and never crossed my mind at the time. But it isn’t something that bothers me. I don’t miss my breast at all and I am even planning a mastectomy tattoo in time!
Everyone is different in how they feel but hope my experience is a help, best of luck xx
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. Everything is so surreal at the moment and I feel really disconnected to what’s happening somehow. I’m 42 which my surgeon said is why he feels a mastectomy would be the best choice, to reduce the risk of reoccurrence I suppose. I have a meeting with a plastic surgeon next week to discuss my options so I’m really hoping that helps.
Hi there! I have just had a skin and nipple sparing mastectomy on one side - my surgeon has given me a temporary expander implant purely for the purpose of giving me a breast until I can have a silicone implant put in after all my treatment has been completed. I know you’re not keen on having an implant from what you have said but I just wanted to let you know that I have felt great relief that my surgeon was able to save my skin and nipple, and aside from it being quite firm and slightly more pert than my other breast, it looks really good. I don’t actually feel like I’ve had a mastectomy and I think that’s down to the fact I’ve kept my nipple and skin. My surgeon also made the incision down the side of my breast so from the front you can’t really tell that I’ve had anything done. It’s a very clean and tidy job and others that have looked at it (close friends) have been visibly shocked at how amazing it looks - they were apprehensive like I was. I am personally ok about having final reconstruction with a silicone implant at the end so it might not be for you but just wanted to let you know how I have found this option. Good luck and happy to chat more if you’d find it helpful xx
Hi @mcsparkle
I had right breast mastectomy and implant at the same time . To be honest wasn’t keen on the implant felt like it was stuck on my chest but I am big busted , unfortunately had a infection and had it removed decided to go flat I’m fine with my prosthesis and some knitted ones sometimes wish I wasn’t flat but think that’s normal , in March having reduction in left breast which means can wear smaller and lighter prosthesis , cancer has gone which is the main thing I am sure you will make the right decision for you
Good luck xx
I was a DD and had my right boob removed in January 2021. I didn’t have a reconstruction at the time nor planned for one in the future. When my surgeon gave me the choice. I said it was probably best if I didn’t. She was very pleased that I made the decision because it was quite a big, nasty cancer and a reconstruction could have affected radiotherapy success.
I’ve still not had a reconstruction. It occasionally flips through my mind. I could have the washboard stomach of a 17 year old because my surgeon did say I was a candidate for that particular type. But I honestly don’t want one.
I go swimming with quite high fronted swimming costumes. I was sunbathing in bikinis within a year of being diagnosed. I love wearing halter neck style tops when I go out, out.
I was using pocketed bras. I bought some non-wired ones but have never liked non-wired bras as they give me an awful shape (even when I had 2). My NHS Trust put a pocket in my pre-BC underwired bras and I can request they add to new bras at any time. A wonderful lady on this forum shared that she simply wears full cup bras and, as if by magic, I don’t even need a pocket I can wear ordinary, bog standard bras that keep my prosthetic safe. That has been a gane changer.
The only time I cover myself up is when I am at the gym as it would probably offend someone if they saw my masectomy scar rather than me being bothered about it being on show. I don’t think I could hold back from giving both barrels if anybody did make a “Ewww, look at that” type of comment or look.
I have had other major operations. So I cannot be 100% sure that as I am used to scars on my body it made me ‘hardened’ to having one on my chest and only one boob.
What I do know is, is that my mastectomy saved my life.
I am going through exact same dilemma at the moment.
I had IDC in 2018 in my right breast, all removed and sorted. Then diagnosed with DCIS in left breast . Two WLE and they still don’t have clear margins so opted for single mastectomy.
You are right, trying to make the right decision is so hard.
I too have decided not to have an implant, but am now in a quandary whether to go flat or have reconstruction.
My original gut instinct was to go flat and be done with it all, but now a few days of thinking about it not sure.
I am seeing my BC nurse on Monday for more info.
Xx
It is a very personal decision and only you know what is right for you. I had a double mastectomy and opted for implants (but I’ve never had the reservations that you have and in general having a boob job was something I had in mind anyway). With single mastectomy a DIEP is usually a better option in terms of the look and feel. I can’t comment on going flat, but quite a few ladies did it and are very happy about it.
@nc1234 I am so pleased to hear you’re happy with your decision and the outcome. It’s such a personal choice isn’t it! I just know an implant isn’t the right choice for me, but that’s about all I know right now. I really appreciate you, and everyone else, sharing your experience. The more real experiences I hear about, and the more information I get, the more armed I feel to make the right decision for me. Thank you again and best of luck with your recovery.
Thank you @charlottebee for sharing. I imagine it takes a lot of getting used to, especially when you had originally decided on reconstruction. That must have made things even harder for you. Good luck with your reduction, I hope it all goes well and you make a speedy recovery x
@Gelbel thank you so much for sharing. What made you decide not to have a reconstruction in the first place? If you don’t mind me asking? I am so torn.
What you said about the mastectomy saving your life really hit me. Of course we all know that logically when we’re going through this awful time, but when everything’s moving so fast and you’re faced with these difficult decisions, it’s worth sitting with that thought for a while. No matter what happens, this surgery will save my life, and make sure my 7 year old still has his Mummy!
@Dramajo I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through so much.
That’s exactly how I felt when my surgeon said mastectomy. My first thought was to go flat, but I didn’t want to make any rash decisions on the spot without fully thinking it through. My nurse said something about making sure my decision is based on the future me and not just the now me, who wants all this to be over. She said I need to ensure whatever I decide will work for me in the future and not just the now. That really made me think. The fact is that it’s impossible to know how future me will feel. Being flat will be this constant reminder of what I’ve been through, it’s hard to say how I’ll feel about that. I know I want to move past this and regain some form of normality, but it’s just part of my story now. I can’t change that. How will I feel in clothes? Will I be self conscious?! Or will I be one of those fabulous women who just rock it?
Then there’s everything involved with reconstruction, extra scars and risks, and a breast that isn’t ‘my’ breast, even if it is made up of my flesh. Will I be able to live with that more?! Or less?! What if I hate the outcome? Part of me thinks that going through an extra surgery that isn’t strictly ‘necessary’ might be too much for me.
I have an appointment with a plastic surgeon next week to discuss my options. I’m really hoping that will help me.
Sorry if I’ve just added more questions to your plate @Dramajo I’m a serious overthinker!! If you’d like to chat more send me a message, it’s good to talk things over with someone in the same position I think, though I wish none of us had to go through it!
I went to the GP after finding a lump in my armpit. It had been there a good few months - sometimes I could find it, sometimes not. So when I could feel it all the time, I went.
I knew it was BC and I knew it was pretty bad. I was diagnosed at my 1st hospital appointment - mammograms, ultrasound and biopsies. I saw my surgeon for the operation plan and actual BC type a few weeks later - Grade 3 cancer surrounded by high grade DCIS. Total tumour size 84 mm. N3 31/41 lymph nodes affected, size of largest metastasis 42 mm, extracapsular spread present. ER8 PR8 HER2 negative.
I just wanted to get it all out ASAP. This was December 2020 so when Covid lockdowns were kicking back in after the summer liftings. My husband was a shielded person as he had Crohn’s disease - I didn’t want to put him at any more risk than necessary either.
As I previously mentioned, I was a prime candidate for a reconstruction from tummy fat, which was offered, but hearing how big the BC wasn decided on the spot not to have the recon. The surgeon was very pleased I made that decision.
FYI I was a DD and proud of my boobs - often getting admiring looks, and comments back in the day. I lost a bit of weight last year - I’m a D now and still think I look good in the chest area even with one real one and one prosthetic. My friends say I do!
Hi! So sorry to hear you are facing this decision too! That was me before Christmas- it seemed a massive decision and it was driving me crazy. I had a lumpectomy and mammoplasty in November but the margins weren’t clear so I was facing a mastectomy- what a shock! I did a lot of research and it really helped to write a pros and cons list of all the options. There are some useful websites: Keeping Abreast, Restore, Flat Friends. I saw a plastic surgeon too. In the end I decided I wanted the simplest surgery and recovery with the least risks. I had a simple mastectomy on Wednesday and can’t believe how well I feel. Much less painful than the last op! I’m only taking Paracetamol. I have a softie in my bra and no-one would know. It is a very personal decision but I know this was definitely the right one for me. Wishing you all the best xx
Hello. Obviously, as everyone says, we are all different. I can’t believe we are faced with such momentous decisions at a time of crisis and I think they should only offer delayed reconstruction because you can’t know what being flat is like until you experience it. I was swept along thinking I was getting a reconstruction and totally panicked when my surgeon started suggesting some unconventional techniques including further surgery. So, in the knowledge that I could get reconstruction later if I couldn’t live with flat I went flat (one side only). I cannot emphasise enough how relieved I am that this happened. I am older, diagnosed at 58, I don’t know what I would have done in my 40’s, but I can say I have no regrets and I personally cannot imagine putting myself through further stress and risk just to be ‘even’.
I am one and a half years post surgery now. I wear a softy when I want (nobody can tell) and just go uniboob if I feel like it. It isn’t a problem for me.
I too am an overthinker but I reckon that’s a good thing and you have lots of information from the good folk on here to help you through. This stressful decision making and the waiting is the toughest part .
I hope you don’t mind me joining the conversation… I am facing a single mastectomy on the 18th of February. Like you, I was diagnosed at my first appointment on 23rd December, and am worried that tumour will have grown and spread more by Feb 18th. They are also removing lymph nodes as it has spread there. My ct scan after diagnosis was ‘normal’.
I immediately decided that I would go flat as I am 56 and don’t want to go through the process. But I can appreciate that this is an incredibly difficult and personal decision.
I lost my mum to BC at a young age and requested a double mastectomy, but my surgeon will not remove healthy breast. This also leaves me worried as my mums returned in the other breast.
I hope we all can come to the ‘right’ decision for us. X
Hey, I was diagnosed with what we originally thought was stage 1/grade 2 IDC and was asked how I wanted to proceed surgery wise. I went straight for mastectomy thinking I’d just be flat and was then offered immediate DIEP flap reconstruction. I did go for the recon and I’m happy with the results BUT: -
Wait time was around 8-9 weeks for it which was a bit stressful (this was in 2022).
I have found that radiotherapy has hardened the reconstructed side.
I do tend to find my tummy can get a bit tight when I’ve eaten too much. A bit more noticeable when I’ve given in to junk food cravings.
Despite this I’m happy with the results and my recovery time wasnt actually as bad as I had anticipated.
The reason I went for immediate recon was because I was advised it can be more complex to have delayed recon due to the removal of breast tissue and then radiotherapy damage so I did what I thought was right based on that.
