I am having a weepy day today. been out with sis-in-law. overdone it . /you think you are strong and bang it slaps you across the face. been back to bed for an hour but just cant stop crying. we are having a tree planted for my mum on sunday and i think thats in the back of mind. no matter how old you are you always want a hug off your mum.
Bridie,
Feeling a bit weepy is allowed.I don’t do it regularly,but when I do it’s spectacular.I hope you feel better soon.Good Luck with the results.
Tricia
Hi Bridie
I was soo weepy yesterday too! And I still very depressed. I miss my Mum so much so know what your talking about. Just wish I could ring her and have a chat. I wish I could visit my parents tree and talk to it but it is in Leeds.
I talked to my sister on the phone instead yesterday and again in the evening. We had a laugh and it made me feel better.
My husband in the RAF and we move A LOT and I’m missing everything at the moment… Home - although I’ve been gone so long I don’t know where it is anymore. My friends, My family and especially my Children. They are 18 and 15 and are away at boarding school in York approximately 220 miles.
The worst thing is that I daren’t tell my husband as he blames himself for moving with his job… and it’s not his fault.
Oops, sorry to depress you all, I feel a bit better for sounding off now and had a good cry.
Oh well as I always say… It could have been worse.
Have a good day
Love to all
Sarah-Jane
Hello all
Sj - one thing is certain - all of us on here won’t be moving anywhere as we’re in cyber paridise, and always available wherever you are!!
Bridie - hope the cup of life continues to fill today!!
Big Love all,
td xxx
should have a good day today. Hair dressers appt , then nephews wedding. 2morrow will be difficult tree planting. then back to the good old worrying till results of wle slnb on thursday. Hey Ho these things are sent to try us
I’m missing my Mum too. She died of bc in 2003 after a 3year illness. My poor Dad is constantly reminded of that time now that I’m going through it - he’s being a brick tho - he’s the only relative I hav here, which is sad seeing as I live in my home town!! We are just a small family and everyone else has moved away…
Jon & I planted an apple tree when our 18 yr old nephew died a few years ago. When we lost a baby last year we buried it under the apple tree too. I don’t know what I’d do now if we had to move - probably dig the tree up and take it with us!! it’s good to see it growing tho and this year it has apples on it. Maybe the tree will be in your home town, then you can always visit it…
think good thoughts of your Mum when you plant it…
Big love Td xx
The tree will be 1/2 hours walk from where I live. I found LIFE FOR A LIFE from the undertakers paperwork. They have sites all over the place and this one is by a reservoir and has been given by the water authority fro the use of a memorial forest, so will never be hacked down or transplanted as with ashes and such.
Thank you for your kind thoughts
Bridie xx
Td You really are having a pants time of it honey aren’t you. Wish I could come and give you a big hug. You have been through the mill I hope things improve soon.
Bridie I hope the planting went well today.
SJ - I’m sure if you let your husband know your feelings he won’t mind, he should be there for you. Even talking about it, despite not being able to change it, can help. Then you can have a tight cuddle and things might feel a wee bit better.
Loads of hugs and love
Lisa
xoxo
Hi Lisa
My husband does know… I just don’t like to hammer it home! We talk about it but life is such that there is nothing we can do about it. So… we have a big hug and ignore it as what is the use of making my husband feeling really miserable too. I must say that my husband has been fantastic, he is my best friend, my hero and a domestic superstar.
The problem is that our children are at boarding school paid partly by the RAF and his means I am committed to move with my husband until they finish their education. What can I tell you, the kids get a good education and I lose all my friends and my job every time we move… which means that unfortunately can’t build a stable career for myself. But looking on the bright side the children don’t feel the same way because no matter where we are their school and friends remain the same. I don’t suppose you can have it both ways.! Although I miss them terribly when they are at school, we do make up by have quality time together when they are at home and are probably closer that we would be if we were living in the same house. This is because they have “no” friends here! ha ha… so they have to spend time with their parents!
My friend is flying in from Edinburgh to visit for a couple of days on Thursday, so that should cheer me up!
Hope you are all well.
Hugs to all
Sarah-Jane
Hi SJ
Glad he is good to you. I do empathise with you as I said all my family were in the forces apart from mine LOL. You are so lucky that he is such a support for you and that you are so close to your kids. It must be so hard seeing them head off each term.
I’m glad you are feeling better and that you will have more support when your friend arrives. Funny how something so small as a a visit can make such a difference.
How are the rest of you wonderful ladies keeping?
Love and hugs
Lisa
xoxo
shaking like a leaf Leeloo if you must know. 2morrow is results day and I dont like it!!!
Hubby will be htere so it wont be too bad.
Tree planting was fab, beautiful morning brilliant sunshine and the birds sang all the way through it. Mum loved birds and would talk to them when she went out for her ciggie, but she would never feed them for fear they would got at by cats. Bless
You will be fine Bridie. I know that no matter what they say you can be strong.
This whole thing is such a roller coaster of emotions but there is one thing we will always be here to help you.
I start chemo 2 weeks today so need to get my house sorted before then because damn sure I am not lying in a pit then.
Funnily enough I am now ready for it, my onc is so nice and talked through everything again.
Basically if I don’t have it I know that my life expectancy will be dramatically less, although we never discussed prognosis.
So I say I get this thing zapped and then in the New Year I start fresh and live it properly this time.
Hey Bridie keep your chin up and as you said your OH will be there to support you too.
Loads of love and hugs
Lisa
xoxo
Hi Lisa and Bridie
I’m thinking about you both.
The worst part about this BC thing is the waiting… for another appointment… for results… for treatment… and the constant worry of the next thing !
I think I’d like to quote a song here… "What doesn’t kill us… makes us stronger…! "
WELL… WE will be amongst the strongest women alive !
Bridie – when my Dad passed on I had his dog Mindy ashes placed in his coffin so that he would be alone and she was re-cremated with him then we asked to plant a Mountain Ash tree for his ashes. They wouldn’t let us put one in Harrogate (where my parents retired to) so we planted one in the cemetery in Leeds (my home town). Like your Mum, My Dad loved the birds and he particularly liked Mountain Ashes as they flower in spring and have lovely berries for the birds come Autumn.
We also brought a bench and placed it in front of his tree so that we girls and our families could sit and talk to him. Since my Dad died, my cat Bob aged 17 years died and I had him cremated… we snuck his ashes in on a Sunday (animals are not allowed to be buried in the cemetery) and scattered his ashes with my Dads. When my Mum died she also went to the tree.
When I visit the tree, In my minds eye, I think them sitting around the tree, my Mum drinking milky tea, my Dad with a glass of wine… watching Mindy playing with Bob and it makes me feel better as they are all together.
Hope you are all ok and sending you hugs.
Sarah-Jane
Hi Bridie
I hope they see you promptly inclinic tomorrow - once you get there you need to get it over with. You’ll cope with whatever they tell you - I seem to have a few hours/days brooding over it then find something positive and feel better.
Are you needing any drainage from your wound???
love Td xx
nah wound is ok thanks td.
Got results. they have said the cancer was grade 3 all out no lymph nodes affected but I will have to have chemo as it wasnt hormone receptive. see onc on june 25th to talk over care plan. Think I’ll do a Leeloo and take a bash at getting the house organised. I’m not what you call house proud,clean but a tad untidy.
Hello ladies,
Sort of good news Bridie that there is no lymph involvement, bit of a bummer you still need chemo though. You won’t be far behind me on it though by the sounds of things.
Hey Td, how goes it did I see you have sorted your wig out?
How are you doing SJ and Sarah, oh and Wee Tricia?
You know I post on so many of these things I never know where I am, and my head is up my backside at the moment through lack of sleep.
Went to bed at 11.30 last night, switched TV off at 1am AGAIN pfft!!
Saw the physio today and have a lovely sleeve to wear to try to reduce the swelling, almost 2cm bigger than right arm at the top :(.
She said it’s just one of those things and gave me different exercises to do.
Ah well such is life, I am shattered been on the go all day.
Loads of love and hugs
Lisa
xoxo
evening girls - just a quick one before live chat… chemo starting on fri 20th. got wig today - very lovely and I’ll never have a bad hair day again - looks just like mine when it’s just been done!!
Bridie - the chemo is insurance. Take it!!! Grade 3 isn’t good - it’s very important to mop up, even when nothing seen in nodes… it’ll improve your ‘prognosis’ (ie no recurrance by 10years) so is worth it!!
See you on live chat if your there…
Td xxx
nice to chat tonight - hope you get a good sleep!!
make a list of the abbreviations you’re not familiar with - i’ll translate!
Where’d you live??
Td xxx
Bolton. Lancashire. Does area matter?
So many people who are starting out with chemo have had bone scans and alsorts I have just been told go have chemo. See onc june 25th is this normal do you think??
Hey bmt56
I am in Bury!! Am same as you no scans or anything just bloods and chemo. xxxxx