sorry if i rant!!!

last day at work 2 day b4 surgery monday. bit of a self indulgent sob by byself b4 the skool run but was ok!told a few trusted friends at work who were sworn til secrecy til 2 day.obviously colleagues will ask nxt wk why am i not at workso isaid 2 hr tell whom ever asks the truth when i took sick leave 4hopefully short while! omg!word spreads!txts teelling me they know hundreds of ladies who have had bc! they r fine!blah blah blah!sod off 2 the lot of them!they dont know what bc i have,idc by the way 2.5cm 41 yrs young, no fam history!why do folk insist on telling what their nxtdoor neighbours 3rd cousin removed had and lived a long and fulfilled life?grrrrrr!nice to hear positive stories but at the moment f off!!!god i dont even know which grade bc i have myself!!so what do the well meaning folk know?ps love my job so much,going to miss the sn kids i work with for a bit!ok,mardyass over! my kids need a bath.hmmm,lighter shoulders alex xxxx

hi alex ,can totally get what you are saying if i hear about anyone elses relatives friends etc and effing kylie minogue doing great i will scream my answer is well i am triple negative nd they have no clue what i am on about so usually stop going on, they mean well bless them but it does wear thin when you keep hearing it, you have a rant whenever you want we all understand all too well x

Hi Alex

Its ok to rant. I found it very difficult to cope with the response from colleagues and associates from work. I got lots of cards etc which on the one hand was very kind and thoughtful but as you say some of the comments were not appropriate for example one person wrote ‘I have a number of friends who have had this disease and have now fully recovered and have now found a new zest for life’. I had to put this card in a cupboard because at the time it upset me so much, as I had was diagnosed with secondary BC shortly after initial diagnosis.

I think when people hear that someone they know has been diagnosed with cancer they are also confronted with their own mortality and in response go into optimistic overdrive. The is not always helpful for the person who has cancer as we often feel quite angry about the diagnosis and are frightened and anxious about the future for our family’s. Overly optimistic comments can also make us feel guilty for having bad feelings about our situation.

What you are feeling is normal. I hope the op goes well and they get the lot. I will look out for your posts.

love Alex

thanx alex and fairyqueen,just read your posts and mine feel like a selfish and ungrateful cow bag now about my own given what ladies have or are going thru!one expresso and a soapy hug from my 5 yr old,feeling betta!i had a couple of lovely cards,from folk i didnt expect.that made me cry!thanks for posts,roll on monday! alex xx

Hi Alex,

Totally agree, it is perfectly fine for you to rant!! Rant all you like, why not I say!!!

Wishing you the best of luck for Monday

Best wishes

Donna x

Hi Alex,

Rant all you like - we understand how you’re feeling, so come on here as often as you need. Your 5 year old sounds really cute - bless!

We’ll all be thinking of you on Monday - take care of yourself n am saving this post, so I can look out for how you’re doing!

Much love! xxxx


good luck monday, xxx

your post actually made me laff a bit, it reminded me how i felt when i got those get well cards and texxies, ect… i had to try really hard to not get annoyed by comments. i also remembered when i had a friend who had cervical cancer and said of people i knew to try and give her hope ad confidence, and in my way help fix the problem.
we can only know how these comments feel when we are where we are now.

in time you will see who really helps and supports you.xx i had people i hardly know be more of a support than my oldest closest friends.
meanwhile we are all hear to listen to any rants or off loads you need., xxxx

Don’t apologise for ranting on here, MB, if you can’t rant here where CAN you! Best wishes for Monday, and here’s hoping they get the lot. Lots more good luck for patience while in The Waiting Room, I hope you don’t go completely round the bend in there while waiting for your results, that’s got to be the worst place to be.


Alex rant scream yell cry…do what YOU want I been through this before but find it hard now got kids, we both got surgery mon I’ve had WLE gonns do SNB mon…then more waiting prob be ranting myself soon allready done the " I cant believe it"!!! love JX

best of luck j,lets rant 2 gether ater mon and the shite w room business! xxxalex

I got a result (of sorts) today I just posted this elsewhere, but the prof who gonna do SNB is licensed (only one of 2 in the UK) to inject the dye under the anasthetic let me know how it goes for you mon I wont be 'about till after tue and I get home i’m on my friend laptopat the mo

Love Jeanette x

im havin the dye thing 2!alex xx

Hi Alex. I am only a couple of days behind you and have surgery on Wednesday. We can compare post op symptoms!! I am having the nuclear dye thing, but before the surgery. I love the fact I will be blue in the face and have blue urine and be radioactive. About the only thing I like, though keep telling myself what a wimp I am given what a lot of people on here have gone through and what little kids go through who have horrible illnesses.
I am in a bit of a calm phase at the moment, but thats because I am staying away from everyone except my family. My knees will be knocking come Tuesday. Have a lovely Sunday. xxx

hiya sjj99!yhey told me dye in naughty boob b4 op then more durin?prob got that wrong!cant wait 4 blue wee wee! my youngest will be so impressed!best of luck on calm now but 2morow and will be a gibbering wreck no doubt!very best of luck and lets c who is the bluest an sorest nxt wk!!love alex xxx

You are probably right - it was like trying to take in a history lesson. I just remember the radioactive bit, having a blue/grey face, and blue wee. My kids sadly are too old to be amused, but yes, it would seriously impress a little one!

it had betta!cos im gonna make him look!knowin him he will want 2 take it 2 show and tell at skool!my teen is just looking at me in sheer disgust!ha!told him if he dont clean his room nxt wk il show him my booby post op!that did the trick!alex xx

Haha. That would be a new one for show and tell, “this is my mums” I can see the teacher’s face. Also, I had to laugh when I imagined your older one’s look of disgust. Mine are older, I think they would have tried to just look polite.

Hello hello

Right let me put your mind at rest first, radioactive injection is painless in the boob but it does sting once in and you need to rub your nipple to disperse it…piece of cake oh and they give you a card to carry for a week because you are radioactive ha ha how funny is that!!!

The dye they put in during the op does turn your boob really blue…it looks cool actually albeit a bit odd!!! Obviously this is put in during the op so you know nothing about it but yes both your wee and the poo yes the poo does go a bit blue but only for a day or so. They say it takes weeks for the blue boob to clear so watch this space on that one!!!

Alex, I too am still sick of the people who keep telling me “I am gonna be fine” and “its good now the cancer is GONE”!!! How the F**K do they know that, even the Consultant does not know if margins are clear until they get the results. In the perfect world everyone else appears to live in once the op is done and the Cancer is, as they put it, OUT then whoo hooo we are cured how easy it that!!! Never mind the waiting room, clear margins???, chemo and rads that does not enter into the equation you are just CURED!!! Ignore the lot of them is my advice, yes rant like mad on here I have (and don’t you all know it) at least we all know its a living hell this Big C !!!

Lots of love
Tracy xxxx

Blue wee - very strange peeing toilet duck! I had WLE on 10th Jan and still have a bit of a blue patch on left boob, but it’s definitely faded.


I had not thought of it being like toilet duck…ha ha that is good I like that. God how sad that I can find something like that so funny but after the week I have had it just appears to have tickled my funny bone!!!

By the way, can you please assure me that the chemo is not the cause of the rough look you have today!!!

Tracy xxx