so sad and teary today?so not like me.hate it i want alex back?xx
Not you too Alex, what are we gonna do? havent even got a funny story about the kids, even when OH was hanging out a line full of assorted teddies & soft toys by their ears & tails, i couldn’t raise a smile!? xx
pants aint it?dont know whats up with me,wish i could go 2 bed and sleep all nite?
Me too, i was at gp today she v good, asked me if i was sleeping ok, did i think i need sleeping tab, no said i …fool … mind u with my wee man and OH who sleeps like a log id need to be really struggling for that??? maybe we turn a corner tomorrow?? xxxxx
your not alone girls im feeling the very same arm hurting more so when i forget and use it to catch something , it must be the thought of dee day (tomorrow for me ) i want it to be over with i havent slept well in weeks and the last 2 days i feel like i havent slept at all , the bcn rang me back yesterday thought she would but i told her no point in comming in as ill be in on 13th and like she said if it is another lump it isnt going to make a difference to my treament, today is the they all talk about me so hope the results are in cos they wasnt yesterday just wont this week over with
sending you all big hugs
maz xxxx
Fingers crossed for all of you who are near Results Day. I found I could hold on for the days beforehand, but the day itself I was climbing the walls! If you have a dog, take it out for a loooooong walk in an open space, talk to yourself, rant, rage, scream, laugh, cry (bring tissues, snotty sleeves are SOOO yesterday) or just forget about it for an hour an concentrate on throwing that ball as far as you can but only with your good arm. I found dog-walking was very good therapy and managed to use up an hour or so on Results Day.
Good luck all.
Good luck everyone who has results today x
Let me know girls how all results went, my are coming by phone so not exactly sure when, however I do know they weren’t in yesterday??? I’m going to jump everytime the phone rings… hope all’s going well for you all??? Jeanette xx
got my results, check stinks as I have no emotional strength to post it again, hope yours good xxxxx
hi all, sorry but rant erupting. why do i feel so rubbish despite bein given clear margins and no nodes affected,rads and tam.so blimming fortunate so why am i blubbing?bcn no help.do u think it may be because i started tam last wk and now i know is middle of my natural cycle.bad boob hurts(didnt after wle)do u think it may be the tamoxifen fighting my natural very regular hormones?ggr!never had pms,dont want it now.thanks moan over ,alex xxx
Hi Alex,
I think sometimes it is just reaction. You’ve been under massive pressure and our occupational health told me that “once it was all over” I might feel worse for a while rather than better. I know it isn’t fully over for we rads and tamoxifen people and tamoxifen probably will knock the hormones about but I think the after effects of surgery and waiting for results take more of a toll than we realise xx
Alex, yeah, all the good stuff is great but the crap that you’ve got too (or had, depending on how you look at it) was an atom bomb. You can’t expect to be top of the world all the time, so go right ahead and have a bad day and don’t feel guilty about it. You could be right, it might be Tamoxifen kicking you, but don’t belittle all the stress you’ve been under lately.
thanks cm and mg,maybe its just hit me I HAVE BREAST CANCER!tryin 2 dry tears,total wuss 2 day!thank u both,goin to try 2 enjoy an hr in garden with my lil un. feel so guilty 4 not bein there 4 him.snot wiped eg, thank u 4 listen 2 a normally totally organised (not mum) xxx
Dearest Alex
Poor you those “hit you between the eyes” days are just crap but hey we all have them so go ahead and rant, scream, throw things if it makes you feel better but whatever you do don’t apologise for it or feel guilty for it. As CM said we have all been hit by an atom bomb and entitled to be selfish and hate the world.
I was on top of world yesterday and most of today but now I am sat here posting and I can feel the fog coming over me. I am dreading the Oncologist visit tomorrow but at the same time wishing it was here so I could get started so I know how it is all going to effect me…sound familiar…I was saying this a couple of weeks ago before the surgery so I rest my case! It is one thing after another and lets face it hormones are the cruelist things anyway without tamoxifen to throw a spanner in the works.
So my girl wipe those tears, sit down and sulk if you want, tomorrow is another day.
Love & hugs
Tracy xxxxxxxxx
HI there Alex baby
you weep and rant and moan and do what you gotta do! It could be realization as you say to yourself you have breast cancer, relief that it could have been worse and I can tell you that tamoxifen sucks!!! somehow though as time went on we (tam & I ) got kinda used to each other and I found it quite bearable, the hot flushes were very useful in the cold scottish winter! so if we have another winter like the last 2 how smug will you be, your own personal central heating, wherever you are!!!Let us know how it goes tomorrow it is tom?? Tracey I hope it goes well for you too tommorrow I think we as keen to know as you, CM welcome to the world of personal central heating too, I tell you one day those flushes will come in handy!!
I went for 1st FEC today and not quite sure how I feel?? I will take all the drugs on offer and exactly as prescribed! I have the injections for days 3-8 and OH face lit up as she said did he think he would be able to administer them??? I reminded him of a friend of mine who said when he went to the dentist he would take hold of the dentist’s private places ( I am sure he was joking!!!)and say " now were not going to hurt each other are we" the smile dissapeared at the thought as I reminded him of that lol XXX I’ll let you know what happensxxxxx Jeanette
Hi J
Glad all went well today, here’s hoping that the side effects are minimal. I hope you don’t mind me asking but what are the injections for then? What other medication did they prescribe? Did you get to speak to someone about wigs etc? (I am soooo sorry for so many questions!!!). BCN told me last week that they would talk to me about wigs etc at the appointment tomorrow, oh god I am sooooo dreading losing my hair and I apologise to everyone for being so shallow but I love my hair and am soooo worried I will scare my friends and family without it (mostly my husband if I am true to you and myself, there is always this worry at the back of my mind he will look at me and not like what he sees).
Anyway fingers crossed for you darlin that you have an easy few days and very gentle side effects if any.
Lots of love
Tracy xxxxxxxxx
Hi tracey,
i hope you get to read this before your appt,
- side effects so far, feels like a mild sickess bug, feeling, but not being (many thanks for the anti sickness drugs) sick,tummy a bit churney that sort of thing. i had forgotten that it gave me terrible heartburn/indegestion, i thing its the anti sick drugs fault, i meant to ask gp for something this morn and forgot!!! i do have a headache bit like a pre period one? seems to be it so far,took aadvice about drinking loads, bit of a drama cos i forgot to factor in that this one was 35 miles away down a busy dual carriageway & no loo! still i made it … just! been drinking carbonated water, it’s helped. i am wide wake it’s about 3.30am!!! not sure if it’s a side effect of the steroids, (it was about 4pm when i finally got treatment) or OH snoring!!!
2)I was given steroids and two different lots of sickness tabs, advice for sore mouth was salt water, tablets prescribed for 5 days + extra sickness ones. the injections, also 5, are pto
Continued…
i ran out of letter space because im on my phone & not pc, but it is middle of night &im in bed…
yes injections they are to sort out bone marrow to make blood cells, not sure if everyone gets them but i have underlying health issues as to why i need to keep on top of blood. it’s been so long since i read ur post i hope ive covered all your questions! its not easy to scroll down and check on the mobile like it is on pc! you will feel better tomorrow when you thrashed out a plan. oh yes hair!!! i got appt to see wig lady thurs, i keep you posted on that, and it’s not shallow, (look at me and my holiday!) worrying about your hair it’s important to you!!! and your man will have come to know the lovely person you are and hair or no hair he’ll love you anyway, i have thought things like that, about stuff it’s natural so try not to worry, many people say it grows back quick and is not uncommon to grow back better!!! i hope so mine is thin and yukky you can see the scalp in places!9
Stupid phone!!!
where was i, oh yes my hair or lack of it… after last chemo it thinned lots and stayed like that, so im hoping that this time it will grow back luchious and plenty of it?.??
redress the balance so to speak, ??? anyway gonna try for a bit of kip after all it is 4am, lots of love to you and all fellow ranters xxxxxx
Hi J darlin
Yes managed to read this before appointment this afternoon, thank you so much for your very long and most helpful reply. I do hope you managed to get some well earned sleep in the end.
I feel better knowing you feel the same concerns regarding your hair and that I am not shallow…mine is very thick and plenty of it at the moment hence how I can manage a very spiky short haircut I am hoping for a very curly mop next time like Dad and brothers, how fabulous!!!
I have been making some notes for today, been posting on the Triple Negative thread as the general concencus is that TN should have FEC and TAX and that I should push for it. Being as it is a very aggressive cancer and TN yes the chemo is known to have a very good success rate but unlike the hormone therapy ongoing treatment there is nothing after chemo and rads for me. Its a bit of a gamble and you have to keep everything crossed that no secondaries arrive but the percentage of secondaries in the first 2-3 years is high. So not sure if it will be a fight or not but I am going to ask for everything to be thrown at it so I can try to have some peace of mind once the therapy is finished. I hope that makes sense and sorry for rambling…its a combination of nerves and total fear if I am honest!!!
Will come back on later to let you know how it goes, but again thanks darlin you have been a complete star.
Lots of love to you and everyone
Tracy xxxxxxxxx