Dear Blanna
I am so sorry to hear you are going through a terrible time with this horrible decease. Your medical team seem to be moving in a positive way for you. Please try to stay calm and stop worrying ‘C’ loves stress I know it is not easy keep coming here to get it out of your system rant and rave we are all here for you and we are all sending you good cyber vibes but let us know how you are.
With love and best wishes ((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))) xxx
I’m OK marirose, im more alarmed at how swiftly this is spreading, it’s like each day it just grows, all I want is just to stop it in its tracks, now for me that would be a bonus.
I’ve got a good team at the Marsden, when I went this morning they got me a wheel chair as I was so puffed out and short of breath. I’m stuck at the moment slowly watching my hand dexterity getting worse with no grip, that’s less than a couple of days.
Thank you all again for your positivity hugs and vibes I really do appreciate it,
XBlannax
Thanks Ellie & Helen,
I spent a few good hours being wheeled back and fourth for my bloods today in a wheel chair, hard to think I what I was like just a couple of months ago and the change in me, I’ve got a very swollen loppedsided shoulder, now a large pouch lump going from my shoulder up to my neck. I’m out of breath, my voice has changed and I’m so constipated I look in the later stages of pregnancy.
My stomach is so bloated, just to add to the list of positions I can no longer get into to feel even a little bit comfortable. And what’s the term? “oh mustn’t grumble” lol in fact I think I am on the brink of hysterically laughing. One saving grace is I’ve at least managed to get on top of proper pain control. I hope it lasts, and isn’t just a once off flooke. The trouble is I’m drinking plenty of fluids to try and get it all moving and it just adding to a never ending list of problems. But being on here I know I’m not alone and I get some comfort in that. Oh and I’m now having wonderful hallucinations from the morphine! Brilliant!
XBlannaX
Hiya blanna
Well you are certainly going through the mill but hopefully you will get sorted out at hospital.
I was just thinking back to that lovely photo of you picc line cover you posted …all pink and sparkly …hopefully you will feel better to do more like that soon.
Loads of hugs xxxx
Thanks both, I’m itching to get the chemo started, at the moment I can feel it swelling moving and getting hot. My neck to the left is rock hard and I’m finding it difficult to move around.
Carolyn, I carnt do any of my craft stuff, I’ve got no movement in my arm or any dexterity of my wrist and fingers, my hands are so swollen I just about managed to get my wedding ring off, now that feels strange.
X blannax
Hi Blanna, just wanted to let you know you are still in my thoughts. Stay strong lovey, Tiger xx
Hi blanna…I’m thinking of you hopefully chemo will get this swelling down for you…and I hope you can get comfortable…i had swollen stomach and had it drained and then the chemo helped…i know how I feel i cdnt lay or sit comfortably …love and hugs Sharon.xxbring on the chemo to kill the uggers.xx
Hey Tiger & Scratch,
I had little bit more sleep tonight,very achy and sore, but not agony like it was before.
The thing for me is the utter cold panic of not breathing and moving properly, my heart starts jumping and for a moment the terror of dying because I carnt breathe takes hold. I think I need some kind of meditation to get me through these episodes would help. I’m now counting the days till I can start the next treatment and get this under control. When I was in the throws of not breathing properly in between panting, I told hubby, if I’m like this tell them to knock me out, I don’t want to be awake. Pure terror.
But today Is another day, another day to adapt to the limitations I’m now experiencing on a daily basis.
XBlannaX
Hiya blanna
Feel free to let off steam and post here as we are all here for you and thinking of you all the time.
Sending very positive vibes that you will better with the treatments soon.
???xxx
Blanna …I do hope u can get some treatment fast …I’m here thinking of you.
Loads of positive vibes and hugs and kisses.
Xx?
Hi guys,
I took a few days to get my head around what happened. I was, booked in for an MRI and was in so much pain despite the effort and care by the staff. The bcn got the onc to come see me, I was struggling to breath and crying. He checked me over and said he would get me something to make me more comfortable. At this all I could do was wail pitifully, I was sobbing so this is it then? I’m to be put in the corner and made comfortable? I can feel it strangling me I want to gulp air, I need to breath I can if you do something, the onc looked blank… I’ll be dead by Friday for the chemo - I begged and sobbed. He went off came back gave a high dose of Steriods to be taken, instead of Friday I was to go in the next day they brought it forward. I almost got immediate relief from the Steriods. Hubby took all the details of meds given. I went on Tuesday for my infusion, by the evening I felt like a hard dead lump of meat was wrapped round my neck. My lymph fluid is moving, and instead of rock hard on weeny bit is soft.
I carnt write anymore, but please God I didn’t want to die wide awake like that,
XBlannaX
Hiya blanna
It’s so nice to hear from you as we were worried about you.
Phew . Don’t know what to say really but hopefully the medications will kick in and make you more comfortable .
Don’t feel guilty about ranting as that’s what we are here for.
Sending loads of hugs from everyone
Xxxx
Oh Blanna
I am so sorry to hear your pain your anxienty levels are so high and your muscles will also be getting tense I wish I could help you please try to relax which I know you will find hard to do. If it helps to rant and rave on here then do so we all sympathise with what you are going through.
Sending you loads of cyber ((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))) xxx
Thanks again all,
Just writing it down helps. I just carnt see them being able to stop the relentless spread. It scares the hell out of me that ‘controlled’ is not an option ’ comfortable’ preferable. Being Tnbc adds another tick to the ‘comfortable’ tag. Going next week for the gem part is daunting too. I suppose if the paclitaxel hadn’t exploded the tumours to spread like wildfire, I wouldn’t be so traumatised.
I went from relatively low pain tumours to fire breathing rock hard crushing boulders. And to add insult to injury, sling in a couple of blood clots to boot!
I’m having some councilling booked through the hospice next week, I’m hoping some of this rage can escape.
Two weeks is all it took… Two weeks prior normal upright body with normal aches and pains, to a wheel chair bound breathless wreck. Who needs assistance to wash dress and feed myself.
I carnt somehow see me ever getting back to that place but just worse! So how the blumming heck do you pull positivity out the hat?
I think I’ll give that one the two fingers salute today.
XBlannaX
Oh Blanna …rant and rave as much as you like …we are all here for you.
It doesn’t seem long ago you posted that photo of your pretty picc sleeve …all pink and sparkly …I was so impressed …
Hugs xxc
Hi Bianna
I’m with you, just a few weeks ago I was on holiday with my sister in Portugal, not feeling 100% but enjoying a nice bit of food & a glass of wine & relatively low pain. Now suffering with breathing & liver, all progressed so fast, struggling without the wheelchair too, feel like it is just downhill from now on. My sister coming to spend a few hours with me today, haven’t seen her for 5 weeks (she lives about 150 miles away) so be interesting to see the difference she notices. Just hoping my chemo starts to kick the little Uggers into touch a bit.
Thinking of you in a similar boat xxxx
Oh Bianna, so sorry to hear you have had so many troubles. I recently had two pleural effusions and couldnt breathe…i have never so felt so ill and so down. I had treatment for that and am much better now, for the moment. I had oxygen and oramorph which was a big help. I’m sure they will get you sorted soon. In the meantime please rant, rave and cry with us as much as you want. xx
Hi ladies,
Well I’m in a totally different place to a few days ago. The pain has settled down, I’m learning how to deep breath if I get breathless.
Smartie, it’s comforting in a very strange way that you ‘get it’ I don’t feel quite alone. Stresshead, the oramorph really seemed to help me as well. I’ve not got oxygen but the deep breathing I’m doing really helps. Funnyface, it’s an aspect of breast cancer that you just do not associate with it. In treating one part, it presents new symptoms that I never ever thought would happen.
Barton, I do feel improvements a week after My last chemo. Today I had my blood done then chemo tomorrow. I’m not sure how long I slept last night, but woke this morning with pain but not off the scale. That I it’s self is helping me cope with this much better.
Thank you all again
XBlannaX
Hiya blanna
So glad you are feeling a little bit better with all the hospitals help.
It sounds like its just a case of the right chemo plan …
Once the pain goes …you will begin to feel like doing a bit more again and hopefully get back to your crafts and that lovely garden.
Take care and massive hugs xxx
Hi blanna…im glad you have turned a small corner and hope you continue to improve…good luck with the chemo and hope it helps you.best wishes sharonx