Hey shar you should worry, i’m on the red wine too, and blood tests tomorrow pre chemo, oh god and need to be up early.
I feel so bad that I look like uncle fester pale round bald daughters mouth says no but face says yes, needs more than LGFB. Have ok f<ck that=“” will=“” wear=“” bright=“” red=“” scarf=“” and=“” dangly=“” earrings=“” sooooo=“” nice=“” high=“” heels=“” even=“” if=“” feet=“” hurt to=“” balance=“” out nobody=“” is=“” going=“” put=“” me=“” in=“” a=“” cornet=“” again>
This whole thig is hard and we all need as much support as we can get, my need is more psychological at the mo and have appts with clinical psychologist as no OH and friends all struggling with their own demons, take all the help you can, good on you for being able to say help it is a good first step to dealing,</ck>
Hi Silvershar,
I’m so sorry you are feeling so low about loosing your hair, this is a cr*p disease and it does all get to us at some point. You are not vain and please phone the help line in the morning. I’m sure you can get through this & am sending you hugs and good vibes and shall be thinking of you.
Take care
lots of love
Helen xx
Hi Shar,
I’ve posted on your Facebook but I can say more here. I found having my hair cut was far and away the worst moment for me (I went to my haircresser after hours and cried and cried as it came off), as I’ve said, but I’ve found that having none at all is actually great.
Maybe I’m peculiar, and it was a huge surprise to me, but having it short made me feel like a different me (despite all the compliments I had), but having none at all has made a new me entirely who is stronger and much less self conscious - I have nothing left to hide! I’m proud of who I am and there’s a lot more to me than the waist length curly hair I had before. I felt that people only used to see me in terms of my hair but there’s more to me (and you!) that that.
When it started to fall out it looked awful and made me feel ill so shaving what was left and going bald was actually a huge relief. I still have some patches that I shave off every now and then to look neater and I haven’t once bothered with my wig, but you should really give yours a go and see how you feel once you’re used to it (they stay on more firmly once you’ve got no hair to make it slip by the way).
I’m not suggesting for one moment that you should feel the same, but I thought giving my (maybe strange) perspective might help you to see a different side of it. You’ve changed so much since you started posting on here and you’ve got through so much already. You will get through this too and all your friends will be so supportive. Just keep going and shooting down all your gremlins and stick with us lot!
Jane xxx
Shar , I’m a lot older than you and had short hair but it was still a big thing to me!At first I was brave, involved my family and would go around the house bald. My wigs felt uncomfortable much of the time and after the first week or so I have had long spells where I don’t go out of the bedroom without a wig or a scarf. My family are great- it’s only about me! For me it’s the worst thing as well!
I’m having fec3 on Friday and I’m coming to terms with the fact I’ll have to wear headgear for the rest of this year at least.Been looking at sunhats for the summer! Maybe even an outrageous cowboy one included!I love my blonde wig though and wear the one in my pic occasionally.I know you’re getting a long wig- have you got it yet?
Maybe that will help.
Went to cinema tonight. also pigged out at Pizza hut in prep for weekend with the Domperidol cocktails lol
Might have an actual cocktail before I join you lot at the JM!
Anyone going hunting gramlins? It’s a nice mild night for it.
Bagpipes in fine form, got my TM (tartan merkin) and flamethrower and the kneelength bovver boots. one and a half boobs strategically covered with tartan bra !
Margaret X X X
Think I’m out there tonight Margaret second Tax tomorrow, drinking real red wine but no signs of sleep. ? steroid premed ? Fear, should be sleeping to be up early for chemo appointment but just not happening. I’m craving a cigaette like no tomorrow and haven’t had one science November. No way I’ii have one as can’t walk to all night shop as breathless and hip pain and had far too much red wine to drive, hey ho life just ain’t fair sometimes need fairies to support me just now!,
Have sent the neversmokeafagagain fairy! Oh just spotted a gremlin carrying a slogan saying FAGS ARE HEALTHY! OOPS Got him with the flamethrower!
Not the easiest time to stop smoking, but I promise it does get easier! I stopped 9 years ago and it wasn’t easy but gets better and I wouldn’t have a puff now if you payed me.Try to take it day by day, sending all my best wishes along with good fairies your way!
Thanks margaret, the only time I seem to have temptation is day pre chemo. NOT gaining to do it, will be on half pay soon need to cut back on expenditure!
Should be tucked up in bed but that seems miles away, did forget second dex till 4 pm as having lovely day out with best friend, watching wildlife enjoying spring and enjoying the lovely warm weather.
I keep repeating will be ok but haven’ t fully confided myself yet, this bl%%dy disease treatment ain’t no fun and it is going on for soooo long.
Whinge over will be there tomorrow on time bright smile decent clothes and lovely shoes, it will be ok it will be ok. B~gger win I believed it
Shar - (((huge hugs))).
For me losing my breast last November 29th was the thing that made me cry for a week. You are not vain, this has just caught you by surprise & of course you don’t recognise the woman in the mirror, it’s a huge change for you, don’t rush it, give yourslef time to grieve for your lovely locks. I still have trouble looking at myself but make myself do it for a minute each day and it is getting easier.
Phone the help line, they’re great. I do hope you feel a bit better soon. P xxxxxxxxxxx
Sleep Fairy, Sleep Fairy
Where do you roam?
I’ve had a good day and the TAX fog has gone
The dog ate the spider
The kids ate thier tea
The kitchen’s all tidy, all’s as should be
So Sleep Fairy, Sleep Fairy
Come to me soon
I know it’s not steriods (for once) or full moon
That keeps me awake
Logged in, upon the settee
Waiting for you to come visit me!
Shar, I really feel for you.
When I had my long hair cut off, I just felt angry inside. (Didn’t let it show on the outside and haven’t said as much to anyone other than you lot, in fact I’ve hardly even admitted that to myself.) I decided to have it cut as soon as I knew I was having chemo so that I could get used to the idea, and more specifically get used to the loss of my plait, but I have to say even though loads of people have been very complementary about my new hairstyle, it’s just not “ME”, and I really don’t like it.
So now that it’s coming out by the handful (and my girls tell me off every time I show them another handful of hair) I’m not bothered.
My plait was ME, so every complement I got about the short haircut actually felt like a bit of an insult if that makes any sense. Yeah, I nodded and said thank you to every complement about how the short hair took years off me, and I look great, and how brave and positive I’ve been (nearly vomited at that one!) but since my long hair went, I’ve only tolerated the short hair rather than liked it. It was only ever temporary, so now that it’s started to go, it’s all gonna go. I’m not going to try to hang on to a haircut I don’t like, so I’ve asked OH to take the clippers to it tomorrow. And if he doesn’t want to, then I’ll go and buy a pair and do it myself. I’m sure he will, and he’ll probably not enjoy doing it, but now I just want rid of this horrible haircut that everyone says looks great.
And yes, a bottle of red is quickly disappearing at Chateau Muffin as well. Sounds like a Rioja kind of evening for everyone, and a rather maudlin one as well. 
Just changed my profile picture back to the first one I had on here, in memory of my hair. (Even if nobody but me liked it.) Do give me a ring if you need to, I think I’m going to be in for a sleepless night. So I promise I’ll prowl the woods looking for gremlins, my flamethrower could do with an outing. Reckon I shout also shoot the flipping urban foxes that are outside screaming like a murdered baby. Bloody things, they are SO NOISY!!!
hi shar just caught up and saw how upset you were. i did think about you on haircut day and wondered how vou would be.
ive said many times that breast cancer, being a prominently female condition, adds insult to injury by having a treatment that manages to strip away all things feminine. feeling like you do about your hair is normal. mine is naturally curly and brunette and id just got it to how i wanted it. the day aafter my initial dx (before i knew my treatment) someone glibly said,“ooh, it might grow back poker straight!” that comment was made at work and was the thing that made leave. how could i be having chemo? how could i be bald? how could i have cancer? these things dont happen to me! but that is now obviously behind me.
like you i had it cut very short but i had been that short before so i knew what to expect, which i dont think is the same for you. your hair IS part of your identity. its what you have chosen to represent you. hairstyles are a sign to society about who you are and wht youre about. they are a big deal. and now something has come along and MADE you have an image that doesnt define you, so you feel lost. i can understand that. to make it worse you know that theres more to come and im guessing that you are already grieving the loss of it.
however, and this is the important bit, youve done it. youve taken control and decided to do it on your terms. and you did it yesterday. the moment of having it cut, that initial bit has passed. with each day on the ‘newness’ will soften and youll see you again in the mirror. and guess what - youll even smile. you are still in there and although you may feel that shes hiding away and some point she’ll be back.
be kind to yourself and if you can resign yourself to the temporary changes that you will face. if its any consolation im now fine being bald and am even resigned to the fact that my eye lashes are going.
xxx
I’ve been trying to find a way to avoid the ‘I feel for you’ type comment that most of us dislike, but as a woman who did not have have a glorious mane like some of you, I am still sad that you have to lose your hair. Yes, it was easier for me because I wasn’t losing as much. I don’t just mean the length and thickness, but the whole good hair thing.
I’m glad to see so many donating it to Little Princesses or making it a sponsored session. I hope that time will ease the pain.
Cheryl
Hi Silvershar, hope you are feeling better today. Sorry did’t post yesterday but was thinking about you whilst having FEC 3. You know what its like you have plenty of thinking time whilst all the needles go in and hopefully do their job.
FEC 3 has totally wiped me out and different to FEC 1 & 2. Hope that it doesn’t keep me awake tonight like the last ones, as really enjoyed catching up on sleep and rest last night.
Do hope you are feeling better today and hope this big hug helps!!!
Adi x
Good morning everyone!
Hugs to you Shar, the hair thing was a bit of a wake up call for me. I thought I would be OK but found it hard.
Peachez seemed to have missed the sleep fairy, but is at her most creative in the small hours. Lovely poem!
A few empty bottles and fag butts to clear in the woods, but all in all, not too bad considering how we have been feeling.
I’m looking up at the blue sky and shafts of sunlight through the trees. I can hear snoring. Maybe some of us have had a little lie in after our medicinal red last night.
Morning all,
Am having a hard time at the mo, just waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting…(you get the picture),stuck in the Limbo swamp till nxt Tuesday, so haven’t posted much here.
Shar, feel soooo much for you. You grieve as much as you want and talk to everyone and keep posting till you feel you can cope. Everyone’s here for you and there are obviously others like CM and Alto who have had long hair too and know exactly how you feel. (((Hugs))) to you.
Hi janipi, I’m tidying at the entrance to the woods near the swamp and can see you through the sunlight dappling through the trees. Think there are a few sleeping in today!
Wandyx
Shar, sending you some (((hugs))) as well, plus more for anyone else that needs some.
At home with nausea - been awake since 4. Grr.
Think that calls for a cuppa. Anyone else fancy a drink of some kind?
Good Morning Wooders,
I have seen the light (amen), i have been blind but now it is clear (hallejuah) i am inspired and inspirational (praise above). And this is all because of our lovely Noel.
I have done sep’ post about Mr edmonds and will refrain from repeating myself here but i would like to thank him for making me realise just what a miserable, selfish, ungrateful cow i am. I Now realise that i am gleeful and excited and happy ALL of the time. Hurrah!
so today i am polishing my halo and setting at a jaunty angle. I will skip through the trees rejoicing at the wonderful world we live in. I will buy a lottery ticket - because i’m that lucky i’m bound to win and then i shall spread my largesse with the those less fortunate than myself.
I have put a picture of Mr Edmonds in the JM on the shelf above the dartboard so we can all pay hommage and thank him for reminding us how lucky we are. What a guy.
Off now to inspire those lucky people at the supermarket.
Tra -la-lah. x
Oh god. OH has just got the clippers out. I think I’m going to cry. And he won’t have ANY idea why.
Oh CM - this is a really hard moment, inevitable but hard.
Cry and howl - who cares if he doesn’t ‘get it’ we do.
x
Good Morning ladies,
CM… Oh you cry and screem and stamp and shout,
Shar, how are you today? you are so not alone on this one, ive been having a really bad few days and still are, i cant look in the mirror i hate myself, i hate my life i want to rewind the past 4 months, i cannot cope with the way i look, i wont go out the house, i wont answer the phone,
I so cant cope at the moment with anythink.
sorry
Donna
xx