Wandy, glad things are calming down for you. Got all fingers and toes crossed for you tomorrow. Have captured Clearmargin fairy and got her locked in my tent. Let me know when to transfer her into your tent xx
Thanks MG. Keep hold of that clearmargin fairy nice and tight!! will let you know when you can let her loose in my tent!
SB, sorry about the tensions, been there, done that, got the t-shirt, am on my 3rd Husband!! However my current OH is love of life who I lived with between hubby 1 & 2. We lost each other for a few years and then refound again!!! Whole other thread and story for that!..
But as you and MG say, you need to be kind to yourselves during and after this and give yourselves some happiness. Have seen some stray Bringiton fairies lurking at the edges of the woods, Am sending them down to you!
Wandyx
Oh SB, what a horrible time you’re having. I too have been divorced, now happily married. I know OH 1 would have been more concerned over who would cook HIS DINNER and iron HIS shirts than me. When we were splitting up he actually said, ‘but who will look after me if i’m ill’. All about him. I also just felt an enormous sense of relief when the deed was done. My current OH is really good. His first wife died and he gave up his job to care for her. Life can be poo. Oh talking of poo, any success?
Hi SB - I’ve just delivered NE to your OH in the shed, thought it might add to his entertainment. Sorry it’s rubbish for you at the mo’ but I too have been thru’ the long, drawn out, slide into separation and then divorce. Not very pleasant, and i was BC free, but once it was over the relief was very apparent. I worried about my kids, who were 11 and 2 at the time, but they are fine and see Daddy every week and every other weekend.
You’re right to have engaged the help of our pal PositiveThinking, this is one she can truly deal with - she was great with me.
Oh dear, I have that sinking feeling that emerges the day before being FECced. That feeling that invites all those horrors to enter my tent - and Lo’ here arrives ‘I’mGoingToDieOfThis’ in cahoots with ‘…AndIfYouDon’tLymphodemaAndNOSexWillMakeLifeUnbearable’, I can’t even have a glass of fizz to take my mind off it.
Would someone please knock me out and wake me up when chemo, rads, mx, recon and Tam are finished…see you in 2016.
SCACO, How about a good night in the JM? Could have the same effect on memory loss without any additional SEs?
Hope everyone is having an enjoyable and SE free day. I only have younger son here, elder one is away with school for the week. He is making cups of tea and obligingly eating the chocs he bought me too! x
SB, I also have the T-shirt on the separation thingy. (Seven years in separate bedrooms while I did night classes etc to get myself a good enough job that I could take over the mortgage and keep the house and the kids…) It’s hard enough without BC; keep hold of your BringItOn Fairy, she’s doing a grand job! Sounds like your son has his head on straight ~ maybe you should put him up for Junior Apprentice next year?
SCACO, with you on the sinking feeling, a real rollercoaster ride from hell isn’t it? Wonder if we get the leveling out, ride coming to an end feeling once we’re having Rads?
You said what I have been feeling - could they just put us in an induced coma and wake us up when the hair is starting to grow back? And could I please have liposuction to the midrif while they’re at it? (to get rid of the ‘Toxic’ fat more quickly than a year down the gym)?
Had Brioche and bacon and mushrooms made for me this morning and an afternoon in the pub! Having tea cooked for me too. Got flowers and Lush goodies as well ~ they never bothered before BC, not sure what to make of that ~ maybe they think I won’t be around much longer??
:-/
MG, hope the tea wasn’t too hot!
Wandy, good luck for tomorrow, will be thinking of you and sending good vibes xxx
Anyone heard from Amber lately??
Is Alto Okay??
Good wishes to all Feccers and Taxers this week.xxx
… just realised I moaned about weight and then mentioned Brioche and Bacon in the next sentence! Just wanted to say this is NOT a typical example of my daily food intake! Will be back on the carrot and apple juice with wholemeal toast and manuka honey in the morning!!
Peachez, Enjoy, its mothers day. Anyway, I did “healthy diet” for years and still got bc… x
hi everyone
hope your all having a lovely Mothers day meal today - cooked for you of course!
My kids still live at home, and these days i seem to want to spend as much time as possible with them, much to there annoyance lol. Not very cool for 17 and 22 year old boys having there mum follow them around.
Sb -some times men seem to behave more like children than the children do. You can manage fantastically well on your own - BC or no BC, so keep him in that shed till he learns to behave!
Peaches - Brioche and bacon seems like a perfectly good diet to me! mmm yummy
SCACO - is this going to be your 5th fec? Good look with it. Someone was saying on one of the threads that there chemo nurse recommended she drank a glass of wine before being fecced - i think to help open her veins. Although i don,t fancy drinking early in the morning it may help steady the nerves as well and give a dontgiveatoss attitude.
Maria x
Just out of interest and on a serious note, I was wondering how many of us are still on first marriage and happy to be there, ( envious if you are, well done!)… I only ask as there seems to be a large percentage of us either having been through, or going through stressful break ups, divorces etc… I am trying to capitalize on the theory of stress being major contributory factor in developing cancer? I, as probably most of us have pondered on the reasons why I developed BC, no genetic reason, never been overweight, couldn’t have led a more active fit lifestyle, ballet from the age of 3-32, healthy eater most of my life, well relatively… So I keep coming back to the stress factor. The last 4 yrs have been extremely difficult for various reasons, and yes my ‘lifestyle choices’ did go on a steady downward spiral, way too much imbibing of alcohol, and I’m talking about gin and tonics at 5 in the afternoon, all brought on by stress…even took up social smoking!
How soon before your dx’s did your break ups/divorces happen??
Sorry if it’s a boring question, not much humor in it all…
Hope you are all having lovely mothers day! OH was let out of the shed as he has packed a large bag and headed off to London… I feel dreadful for him as he doesn’t want anything to change, it’s all my doing, and I have the awful guilt on my shoulders feeling at the moment…
Still, onwards and upwards…I took the boys aout and we had a nice lunch the 3 of us.
SCAcO, I can so relate to your feelings about FEC 5, number 4 was so awful for me, I am only now feeling human again 9 days later and I am dreading th next one. I so want to say no to anymore…isn’t 4 out of 6 good enough… The mere thought of the cannula makes me feel sick.
Wake me up when it’s all over too please…
Xxxxx
Hi Sarah,
I separated three years ago and my divorce finally came through the day after my WLE. The stress began in earnest a few years before that as we slid towards an inevitable split.
I have often wondered about stress as a trigger - it makes more sense than diet or fitness. I also instigated the split and was just looking forward to a much better 2011. Oh well, best laid plans and all that! If it helps, the kids adjusted really well, see both parents and we managed to do this without too much acrimony (once the first couple of months were past). Even with bc, I feel like I can get on with my life and have a bright future, maybe not quite as I envisaged but maybe this is all part of teaching me what really matters xx
Stress, hell yes!
Maybe my BC was already waiting in the wings, but feel it was accelerated to warp speed by my Mother’s death April 20th last year. So many people I’ve met with BC have had a divorce or other loss a year or two before Dx, coincidence it cannot be.
hi sarah
I,ve been married for 20 years and i,m still happily married, though i do think i,m the harder one to live with.
About 13 years ago i had throat cancer ( aged 30) - i smoked for a couple of years socially thats all. My doctor at the time told me that it had nothing to do with this, as this type of cancer usually affected males in their 50’s who had drank and smoked heavily all there lifes. He was of the opinion that it had something to do with where i lived ( very industrial town) even asked whether i’d ever considered moving. Also suggested that it could have had something to do with mutated genes passed down through the family caused by working in the mines years ago. What ever the cause it seems there wasn’t much i could have done about it. This is my 3rd time with cancer now, uterus,throat and now breast. I personnally think it’s just one of those things. I don’t know if stress causes or excelerates cancer, but i think it needs to be irradicated out of our lives. We only have 1 life, we need to enjoy it!
Maria x
I also lost my Dad three years ago just before the divorce x
Hi everyone, I also think stress has a mssive amount to do with dx. I got divorced after 27 years. Lost my mum & dad, & moved house twice by myself, the last time just 12 months before I was dx. This move was supossed to be my start of my new life bacck where Im from. God how wrong I have been. My children are not happy that I moved , but it was ok for their dad to move & do exactly as he liked!!!. Money is tight, & now this, I dont think there is much I can go through now that I havent already done. Mothers day was ok, kids came which was nice, a my daughter lives in madrid & son in liverpool. They have gone back now & I have awful constipation, which I did not have last time, god this is such fun!!!I hope everyone who is having treatment tomorrow come through with flying colours Lesley xx
I am on my third marriage having been widowed at 43 and divorced at 25.I have been very happily married for 23 years now[19 at time of dx] but had had benign breast cysts since the birth of my second child in 1974.The year before my dx we moved house and my lovely daughter got married-both very positive events.I put having bc down to having breasts actually 
Valxx
I’ve been married over 35 years now, and it’s reached the point where divorce would just be too much bother, really. But perhaps we’ve been lucky that the stressful times never quite tipped us into a split. (You know the story of the granny asked if she had ever considered divorce in 50+ years, who said ‘Divorce never, murder often.’)
I was post-menopausal, but with a history of benign cysts, when I had a DCIS 2 years ago, so I’m probably in a different category than most of you.
But there is no doubt that serious illness, disability and other life crises cause marriages to collapse sometimes. Perhaps these simply precipitate something that was going to happen anyhow, who knows? But please, PLEASE don’t beat yourselves up about the reasons for cancer or marital troubles or anything else. Sh-t happens. Keep your energy for getting well.
I’ve seen DD2 for a short time this morning, had lunch (jointly prepared) with DS and a chat with DD1 in San Francisco, so it’s been a good Mothering Sunday for me afterall. Hope it’s been good for all of you, too.
Cheryl
Hi Cheryl, you’re absolutely right. At the “why me?” stage, I said to the surgeon, my mum had bc, I dropped a plank on exactly that spot two years ago, maybe I’ve had too many wild student nights. His advice was don’t drive yourself mad worrying why and get on and lead your life without wholesale unfounded changes. I am following advice, have had WLE and SNB, will have rads, taking tamoxifen. Other than that I intend to live life and enjoy it x
I’ve been very happily married for 10 years but with my husband for 20. Have had a very stressful start to the year before dx but not sure that has anything to do with it really. Funnily enough my lump is in exactly the same place as 2 previous cysts but both were years ago. I still think they are linked to the IDC somehow though.
Good luck to all those being FECCed and TAXed tomorrow. SCACO, Silvershar, I know both of you are up tomorrow. Sarahbeara, am I right in thinking you are too? Hope it goes well for you and the SEs are gentle on you.
Wandy, thinking about you and your surgery tomorrow. I have the blasted Clearmargins fairy shut in my tent still and I have EVERYthing crossed for you xx