Starting Chemo in December.2012

oh Ham - thats a blow if youve psyched yourself up for it. But its really not worth risking an infection. Is it possible to do some admin tasks at home?
x

Thanks to all for all the hugs xxxx

We all seem to be in the wars at the moment, don’t we, one way or another? Thank God we have this place where we can come and be honest about bad we are feeling. It really is a lifeline. I feel rather self-indulgent for being so upset about the death of my ex-boyfirend, when it’s not my tragedy - I keep thinking of his poor wife with 4 little boys under 10, who’ve lost their daddy. Life will be so hard for her. But I was really upset, it was such a shock. And when we’re in the midst of cancer ourselves, getting more of it, coming in from elsewhere, as it were - well, it did for me yesterday. I just wish there would be some good news , for a change. Maybe you just get to a certain point in life, and most of the news is bad.

QD, that’s awful, both about your neighbour and what’s been happening to your skin. Tax sounds vile - hopefully with FEC things shouldn’t be so bad, as long as you get the right anti-nausea drugs from the beginning. Please remember, if you are really prone to nausea, demand Fosapprepitant (aka Emend) intravenously upfront. I would have been rehospitalised without it.

Hamley, so sorry that one little bit of control has been taken away from you. Bits of normality are so important during this nightmare.

HUGE HUGS and love to all of you, my Sisters in Chemo.

ps there is one thing we all can be thankful for today - that we are not Chris Huhne… wow, if ever a man pushed the self-destruct button, he did.

Hi ladies,

Met a very nice genetics doc today who made it a very pleasant and interesting meeting. Such a change to go to the Onc O/P and not want to cry. I managed to persuade her that I don’t need anymore time to consider the implications of testing and I don’t need to wait a month to be sure, so she let me sign up there and then. I still have to wait for the blood test form as she didn’t have any as it is not meant to be done like that. I really felt she represented an outbreak of common sense in this mad cancer world and was treating me like a sensible individual. She also agreed to delay the results until I have finished chemo so I can deal with one thing at a time. And she laughed at my Jeremy Kyle jokes about test results.

Mandy - if you are TN and under 50 you don’t need to show family history. It’s really a matter of whether you want to know. I want to know if my other boob and my ovaries might try to kill me, cos then I can do something about it. I do understand that not everyone wants to know. As for the Max Wall wig - really? Wouldn’t you be better just putting a cat on your head?

QD - that all sounds truly rubbish and not right or proper. Anyone telling me that I am lucky to be off work will soon find they too need a sick note. I agree with Lolly - see if they will let you go in and pretend to work when you want to - so you can talk to other adults and distract yourself from all this cancer sh*t. Hugs, x

It was lovely to meet Lolly the other day and I look forward to meeting all you eventually, keep on keeping on, xxxx

‘About suffering they were never wrong…’:

today’s post on chemonights.blogspot.co.uk/

Off to meet GemCarbo no 3(a) (or 5). Hopefully, this time next week, I will be HALF WAY.

Good luck, Cress xxx

I have a questions re infections - I have woken up with quite a heavy cold, but that in itself is not a reason to panic, is it? Only if the cold turns into pneumonia or whatever?

I feel awful, but only in the normal ‘I-have-a-cold’ way, and my temperature is 37.3

Good luck Cress.

Cybele - whay not phone your bcn? 37.3 is ok but i’d check temp hourly and if it starts to rise then phone the emergency number.

QD x

good thinking, QD, will do x

Hi Cybele.

i have had a temprature of 37.3 once before but it didnt rise, if it goes to 37.5 you need to call them asap. but like QD says keep a good eye on it, hope it behaves it self, take care Lolly
Cressida,
Good luck for today hope SE are not too bad this time round.
hope all our crackers are ok
lolly
x

Cybele - sorry you’re feeling rough…my chemo nurse said if i get a temperature of 37, take a paracetamol and if it doesnt come down ring the hospital…xxx
Cress - good luck today. and thanks for the advice on TN and genetics - was it your ONC who referred you? Id like to know. Do not want to go through this again if I can avoid it. Also I have 2 daughters and I owe it to them.
Maire - good luck for tomorrow…I’ve already taken my steroids in preparation as I go onto Tax tomorrow…not looking forwared to it. (why would I???) as I’ve heard it’s worse than FEC?
Hugs to all…
xxx

Hi Mandyp, Cybele.
I was told if my temperature was rising dont take paracetamol as it could mask an infection bring the temp down so it might effect a treatment we may need, we get told so many differnt things, but though i should mention what my chemo nurse nurse told me which is aslo in the starter pack i got, it just in case.
Lolly
x

Mandy. I’ve taken steroids too. Had bloods done this morning then appt with nurse. She mentioned the dreaded word-Tamoxifen. I proceeded to have a rant about not wanting to take it. Poor nurse was so upbeat and pleasant and here was this baldy auld bint being difficult. She said to start taking it in 6 weeks. Maybe I will and maybe I won’t!
Don’t worry too much about the Taxotere. I find it better than fec in some ways. I don’t get any nauseau with it. Once you know what the side effects are going to be there are ways of dealing with them.
That said, I am dreading tomorrow. Thought I wouldn’t be getting the Cyclophosphamide but seems I’m getting a 4th dose.
I’m wondering too if I’m starting to get chemopause symtoms. I’m getting an odd clammy feeling at night. It’s not what I expected hot flushes to be, Just a very odd kind of clammy feeling that doesn’t feel real. My skin doesn’t feel hot though. Weird.
On the plus side, I’m getting very sparse and random white hairs appearing on my noggin’. hair=good, white=bad.
Cressida , good luck today. How many more do you have to get?
Cybele -sorry to hear about your cold. Hope you manage to keep it at bay. They’ve got us all so scared about the risks of infection that it’s hard to know whether or not to contact the doctor. I have made numerous trips to the local surgery and out of hours services ‘just to be safe’.
Hamley -Is there any way you could work at home for a bit? I totally understand the desire to get a bit of yourself back. I feel someone has a huge big rubber and is secretly erasing bits of me: hair, work, gardening etc. Even a tiny wee bit of a return to normality would feel like progress.
Anyway, we’re well into February now. Remember how we all felt in the run up to Christmas: the fear, the sadness, the lack of wine!!! We are moving forward and getting much closer to that finishing line -even if they keep moving the bloody thing!

I was told not to take paracetamol, too.
temp has risen steadily from 37.3 to 37.9 - oh sh*t, just did it again, 38.1.
Have been putting it off, now am really going to have to go to the s***ing hospital.
Was trying t owrite a blog post first, in case they kept me in.
B***er B***er B***er
I just so don’t want t ogo to the hospital and start all the inevitable cr*p again.
I’m so FED UP with all this, and I know I’m being really stupid…
Don’t worry, I’m going to go now.
Just hope they will let me out again.
Thanks for good advice ,everyone, and I know I should have taken it sooner. I’m just becoming so hospital and doctor averse , now.

all the best cybele, best place for you i know its Sh*t but they will sort you out BIG HUGS XXX
Lolly

Good luck Cybele. Hope everthing’s ok.

Good luck Cybele…let us know how you get on and hope you feel better soon.

Sorry that you’re feeling even more s"“”""y than usual Cybele. Hope the hospital don’t feel the need to keep you in although that’s better than dealing with an out of control infection on your own. Hope you feel better soon because, selfishly, I’ll miss the blog. Shame on me for thinking of number one!!

Right, finished and published the blog post and ready to go - and my temperature’s up to 38.2 now, so I’d better get a move on…

‘Go directly to A&E,do not pass Go, do not collect £200…’:
today’s post on chemonights.blogspot.co.uk/

Hi All,
Cybele, I hope it’s gone OK for you today and you’re feeling better. Big hug. You’re right about me following your therapy by a few days. Your blog has really helped me prepare for what’s going to happen in advance, so many thanks.
I’ve spoken to my HR Dept. who’ve said I can’t work from home because my job interacts with so many people and my boss says she would rather I concentrated on getting myself better. I can’t help but wonder of the fact that she’s employed her completely unqualified daughter to cover my absence has something to do with it. I’m going to have a think about it over the next few weeks and make a decision after FEC 4. I’ve been reassured (verbally) by our HR Dept that my job is safe!
My company gives a bonus for not going off sick and we don’t get paid for the first 3 days of sick leave so no one goes off when they’re ill and colds and viruses rule our open plan office. This means my doctors comment about the potential to die has also put me off returning.
I really feel like I’m just going to give in to the horrors of chemo and sort myself out when it’s all over. I’ll be looking at the ‘situations vacant’ in my local paper!
Good luck to all those having treatment, there seems to be quite a bit going on at the moment. We’re all moving slowly but surely to the end of the horror so hang on in there.
Love Clare XX

Hi
Cybele - hope everything went OK at the hospital & they didn’t keep you in. I feel for you having such a hard time. I love your blog.
I read this thread regularly but haven’t posted for a while partly because I’m so slow at typing (I’m a 1 or at the most 2 finger person!) & partly because I feel a bit guilty because compared to others so far my side effects have not been too bad & kept in check by various tablets. Having sid that I’m dreading Friday - I have had 3 FECs & Friday is my 1st FEC-T & it seems the side effects are usually worse.
I’mnot at work as Dr has signed me off for all of chemo because of a 11/2 commute by public transport to B’ham and an open plan office he thinks the risk of infection is too great - don’t think my chemo briain would cope with thinking at work anyway! Ido think I’m more sensitive as well - a workmate took me out to lunch on Monday & I got REALLY upset when I heard she had reported back that i was perfect but that I told her not to say that. I wished now I had let her know how surreal all this is & how crap I feel instead of putting my brave face on so we could have a nice time! Sorry for the moan. I agree with Hamley - we’re moving closer to the end just got to hang on in there!