Starting Chemo in December.2012

Lisalouw - Very Big Hug xxxxx

Hi Crackers,
Had lovely meal last night for son’s 17th birthday (QD, food was lovely-lots of hummusy starters and main courses of lamb, chicken etc with nuts and sweet flavours-pomegranite, orange, nuts etc). Unfortunately it took ages to get home due to bus replacement service at train station. Still the 2 glasses of wine I’d consumed (large, of course) took the sting out of the journey and I was feeling nice and mellow until the on-bus radio urged us all to vote for this year’s sexiest women-with some examples given just in case we weren’t sure who was and wasn’t sexy. What a wonderful advert for my 17 year old son and 14 and 10 year old daughters. I’m telling you Pollyanna wasn’t looking so ‘glad’ at that point. Still I softened the blow with a 3rd glass of wine when I got home and then fell asleep on the couch.
Hamley-sorry to hear about your new lump. Did you have an MRI when your tumour was discovered? I really hope whatever it is turns out to be benign.
Lisalouw-The hallucinations sound horrible. Really scary. I had mild visual disturbances with Tax. Had to wear glasses for driving (I don’t normally wear glasses at all but got a pair to help me with distance when driving in the dark.) Think that might’ve been fluid retention causing that problem. I also kept thinking i saw things moving in my peripheral vision-like wee insects. But that was very mild. As for the hut flushes-I’ve had some ‘clammy’ flushes where my skin feels kind of warm but not to the touch. It passes really quickly probably helped by the baldiness. I’m 49 and pre menopausal with no signs that the menopause was any where near before I started treatment. Not sure what to expect next. But so far the clammy flushes are ok.
Wendy-Fingers crossed for your surgery. I think you should really get the surgery you want. It should be your choice.
Marge-I’ve had 2 doses of Herceptin, but both with chemo, so not sure what it’ll be like on its own. Mz, How has it been for you?
So far the only thing I can def link to Herceptin is the runny nose. Keep thinking I’m having a sudden nose bleed but it’s just suddenly runny.
Cybele-So glad you’ve had a good day and will have some lovely mental images to focus on at your next chemo. I’ve got a postcard of Sanna Bay in Ardnamurchan to focus on at my desk. I just look at it adn dream of being there. So beautiful.
Good luck with all the chemos this week. I’m standing at the finishing line cheering you all on.

Morning all. Lisalauw I can sympathise with your hallucinations. I had them the night of my first FEC. Couldn’t sleep as usual but was lying very calm in bed, probably due to the sleeping tablets which hadn’t properly worked, and started having these mad scenes going through my mind. I know I was awake cos I could hear my husband snoring (as well as one of the dogs!]. I’m cold capping and was obsessed with losing my hair and I remember seeing this document called “Technicalities of cold cap and hair loss”. I remember struggling to read this document but each time it gave specific statistics the numbers were all blurry and frustratingly I couldn’t read them. All sorts of other things happened like the bed swaying and the room when I when to the loo. I was totally disorintated and weird and yet I was definitely awake. F irst thing in the morning I got my laptop and tried to find this so called technical document to read it properly, but obviously didn’t find it. I ran my oncologist and she said it was definitely hallucinations and told me to stop taking the stereoids. End of problem and I haven’t had stereoids for the rest of the treatment.
Had FEC 5 yesterday and after being so sick for the first time on FEC 4 they’ve put my straight on cyclizine and no sickness whatsoever. I’ve also been put straight on 14 days Fluconazole for mouth thrush as I’ve had it each time and Nystatin helps but doesn’t finish it off. All in all with these meds I feel pretty good today. Still worrying about the hair though - will it last through one more treatment. Those of you who go on to Tax seem to get hair growing back in thin places quickly. However to make matters worse I had to trim 3 Dennis Healeys from one eyebrow last night. Didn’t dare pluck them cause I need all I’ve got. Also found a large granny hair growing lushly on my chin and still have to shave my legs. Doesn’t make sense does it.
Cressida and Cybele - I hope you’re both feeling better and that you Cybele are fighting fit and ready to make ware on FEC 4. Hope it goes well.

Hello, well my mood has improved slightly after eating mint chocolate and one of my sons fruit lollys , which I forgot about my bad tooth and chomped down on , ooops, hope I havnt triggered it off , I was in the worst mood ever at the dentist and my dentist was also in a vile mood so it didn’t bode well, I could have easily have squeezed her hands in a vice for trying to tell me I don’t need my blood count testing if I need my tooth re packing, which I know full well I do and then she moaned about me having another appointment to have a shield I’m having made to stop me grinding in 1 wk, saying no way will it be ready in time , do people not understand you do not mess with anyone on chemo as we are not responsible for our actions , anyway the reception said it would be back and rolled their eyes as to say that the dentist was on one
marie and border collie, arnt the hallucinations just awful, scared me so much and I have my son sleeping in the same room and most of time same bed , I was petrified , mine was a side effect of some antibiotics , you wouldn’t think would you that an antibiotic could do such things , the one I’m on now makes me spaced out and dizzy and not able to concentrate , god knows what’s in them because I’ve always been fine with the ones you get from the docs , marie , glad you had a good meal and that you got a few glasses of wine , I can’t wait to be able to taste again and enjoy the odd glass also hot flushes not as bad last night but replaced with joint pain from the injections i give myself for my blood count
cybelle, thanks for the hug, I’m so glad you got your walk in the sunshine it was lovely wasn’t it , I also sat and took in all my surroundings , it felt good to be normal again, good luck for your 4th chemo this wk , well done hair wise mine still has a covering with the cold cap but it’s shedding again now so it maybe giving up the ghost now xxx
hamley, I’m so sorry about you finding another lump, I don’t understand how that can be possible on chemo , when do you get to know anything , god I hope it is another cyst , it’s just one blow after another for you , I bet you are drained , sending hugs and everything crossed for you , and I’ll give my little lucky horseshoe a rub for you in my purse, yes I know strange ! Xxxxx
Mandy, hi , sorry you not been well, what infection have you had ive missed alot of posts and havnt caught up yet sorry, hope your feeling abit bettr x
wendy, hope you get your surgery , and yes a hissy fit is in order dont forget the flame thrower xxx
what is a Pollyanna moment , I’m lost
xxx

Hi ladies,

Hamley - boo to new lump - any advice about it yet? I agree that it is most likely to be a cyst or something similar whilst you are on chemo.

Wendy - did you see the surgeon?

Lisa - Chemo and steriods will both give you hot flushes. Being early 40’s it is possible you will be sent into early menopause. I think this has happened to me. Its quite possible your periods will come back, but less likely when over 40. Theres no real way to be sure and no simple test. One more gift from the chemo fairy. As for Pollyanna - she is a character from a book who played the “glad game” of finding something to be glad about in every situation, regardless of the evidence. She cheered up an entire town and then lost the use of her legs and finally became miserable. Just as she was seeing sense, the local townsfolk rallied around and cheered her up again. So, for example, you can be glad that early menopause means you will not have to buy anymore ladies hygeine products.

Hi to all the new ladies, and thankyou to those of you who were outraged on my behalf that everyone has taken half term off so I am stuck with puffy painful armpit and Mx site. I am starting to think it is the return of cording. Because I lounged about in bed for 4 or 5 days and did very little excercise whilst trying to get over chemo 3, it all seems to have regressed to how it was after the op. Not sure what Pollyanna could come up with for that. Glad I didn’t have both sides done at once?

I am glad that my weekend away is coming up, even though I will have to put on a brave face (and several scarves) about being uni-boobed.

x

‘A bloke in the corner called Kierkegaard, biting the heads off whippets…’ :

today’s post on chemonights.blogspot.co.uk/

Cybele, good luck for tomorrow, I’m glad you had some normal time before heading bad to FEC 4.
Thanks for the support from all concerning the new lump. I spoke to my chemo nurse who has made notes for my surgeon on my appt on 6th Mar to look at the lump as well. She checked with the docs there to make sure it was OK to go ahead with FEC 4 yesterday, which we did. When I was diagnosed I had a mammo and scan (like the baby scans, I don’t know what they’re called) and they didn’t spot anything then, but I do worry because my previous mammo and scan was only 10 months prior to that and showed clear. My tumour was 35mm and considered very agressive so I feel quite scared.
Lisa, I can’t imagine the halucinations, that’s awful. I’ve had hot flushes, but only after chemo so I don’t know if it’s menopause or not. I wake up in a hot sweat, pull off the covers and wake up later freezing. Like Maire, I’m 49 with no previous indications of menopause. I’ve had 2 periods since starting chemo and await next Saturday to see if there’ll be a 3rd. I hope not, I could do without the inconvenience.
Wendy, stomp you feet for your mx, it’s your body after all. Hissy fits are in order for everyone on this thread. Let us know how it went.
Maire, great about the meal, and the wine, keep it up on all for all of us!

Hi ladies
i had a scan today and mr lumpy has put up a white flag and had shrunk by 1.5 cm! hooray! fec on friday eek!
fingers crossed Hamley when do you get the results?
Maire - your meal sounded awesome!
Lisa - ive got a dodgy tooth too. do you think chemo attacks fillings?
Cress-enjoy your weekend
does anyone know if rooibos tea is good or bad if you are oestrogen receptor positive?

QD

Tomorrow afternoon is first herceptin with no chemo. Will let you know afterwards . I cant believe that it wont be easier than it was.
4 out of 18 seems like a long way to go.

No appointment for me today. Another phone call this morning to say I couldn’t see surgeon today as I had not been discussed at MDT meeting which was due to be held today. Re-booked for Friday. Very apologetic !

Not a happy bunny just want to get sorted now

x x

Cybele - good luck with the FEC 4 today. I am trying practice a bit of mindfulness, and also spent the sunny afternoon on Tuesday seeking out images to hold onto. I have more countryside than you, and I found 6 deer in Ashridge forest who couldn’t be bothered to run away from me. I think they could see that I was in no state to chase them. I am taking them with me next week into the chemo unit. Keep your mind on the swans. xxx

Thanks Cress xxx

Hamley - sincerely hoping your lump will turn out to one of the 90% that are benign, and just sent to torment us. it must be so worrying BIG HUG
Maire - it’s great, and very inspiring to hear you sounding so cheery! And cheering us on!

LisaLouw, Border Collies - wow, the hallucinations sound horrible, and excessive - I mean, we’re already ni the middle of a nightmare…

QD sorry, haven’t heard of the tea, will investigate

I’ve got my chemo at 2.30 - took one Lorazepam last night, and going to take another one about 1pm - hopefully, that will get me through it better than last time, when I wept all the way down the Fulham Palace Road on thew ay to the hospital. GOTTA GET A GRIP.

And, yes, I am aware that by focusing on the swans you will not be mindful of the chemo experience. One thing at a time.

Hah - not sure the chemo experience is something we need to be mindful of. Swans definitely preferable.
In fact, they should provide them in the chemo ward. With a nice pond, obvs.

Take enough lorazepam and you should have swans and a lake. You might even have a ballet.

Cybele,
Thinking of you right now as you approach chemo 4. Going to think about swans and sunshine in solidarity.
By the way my aversion is to comfort fabric conditioner. I used a new fragrance when getting taxotere for the first time and I will forever more think it smells of chemo!

QD, great news about the shrinkage.
Cress, have a great weekend. I want some deer (or swans) too. I’ll have a look locally to see what I can find!
MZ, you’ll get there. Look at Maire, she’s there and is going on supporting and guiding us to the light. Please keep it up Maire.
Wendy, horrible delay, but it’s not too long. Practice hissing and stomping your feet. It’ll be their fault that you’ve become an expert with the extra training time.
Cybele, I hope it went OK today and the Lorazepam worked. FEC 4 has been a bit better than the others so far (so I’m not hibernating after all), I hope it lasts to days 5 & 6. I love your info and stats and your blog’s been a great help for me so far as I was a few days behind you. It’s meant that I’ve pretty much known how it was going to be. You’re better at explaining how you feel than I am so it’s helped my oh understand. I didn’t let him read about the Northern Lights though!
Maire, someone suggested to me that I buy a ‘comfortable chemo outfit’, which I did. It’s the only outfit I wash in Surf and Lenor. I usually use Persil and Comfort (other brands are available!). I won’t be keeping the outfit once chemo is finished. Or I might keep it for surgery. And rads!

A lady I met whilst having rads had a bottle of perfume from the look good feel better worshop. They give you good perfume. I got Ralph Lauren. She had been using it throughout chemo and all her treatment, but she said it was going in the bin after rads as she called it Eau de Cancer.

i cant wear perfume at all - it makes my skin sting.

does everyone get hallucinations on fec. I have it for the firsdt time tomorrow and im nervous!
QD

QD, the nearest to hallucinations I’ve had on FEC was thinking I saw spiders in my peripheral vision. Then I was prescribed with vary focal contact lenses and there have been no further arachnid moments! The optition said I was at ‘that age’.