Lovely photo squeakymouse. I’m amazed at how good most people look without their hair. My bestfriend saw me with my naked head for the first time this weekend. She said she had been practicing her not being horrified face. She was disappointed I looked so good! Not actually sure she is that good a friend?!
Harryduck: Elizabeth rocks! Long may it continue.
I’m sure you will find FEC a doddle. Week one is a bit hit or miss for me. Week 2 is the dodgy infection prone/neutrpenic week but week 3 is feeling normal but dreading next FEC! I get given 3 lots of anti sickness tablets to take for 3 days (including 1 lot of steroids).
Good luck to those getting juiced this week.
Hope everyone has had a nice weekend. One more week done xxx
I echo Harry duck- where are all the buddies?! Watching the football? My OH watching Enlgand game, I know nothing about fotball, just a bunch of blue and white men running up and down chasning a ball.
Glad Elizabeth is sleeping through the night. You are right they change so quickly- such an exciting time.
Sqeaky mouse- you look great. Anyone brave enough to go out without scarves or wigs?
Em- Hope you are not missing your daughter too much. It is another step towards independence. Cant imagine coping with an ocean between me and my daughter- bad enough when she went to Chester! Just think, next Fec, last one and half way. I found the taxol easier to manage than the FEC. Less side-effects in the first week. More achey and tiring.
I took my daughter to a party yesterday. I enjoyed it so much , but it was hard too. I felt so out of touch from everyone else. People asking me my summer plans. What on earth was I going to say? ‘Oh, I am planning to be ill all summer actually, although if I am lucky, might have a couple of weeks to enjoy the sun.’
Today, dragged myself off to the shop (yes, shop, not shops- got there and too tired to go in more than one). Was all ready to flex my credit card. Could not find anything to hide my new lopsided body- tied stripes prints, gathered pleats. It was depressing but I was pleased with myself for going. And so nice to do something ‘normal.’
I go back to see surgeon Thursday and Onc Friday to find out if I can go back on the chemo train the following week. I am lagging behind you all now!
Meeting my manager tomorrow- poor man, little does he know what he has in store for him!
Take care, Rattles, x
Yes it is quiet on here today. I am going back to work tomorrow so had all my day planned on getting myself organised for this. But oh no, I had to spend most of the day in A & E as my son badly burnt his wrist. We had to hang around for well over 4 hours and not even the cafe was open for a cup of coffee! It wasn’t a place I wanted to be in because of the germ situation as well. So basically I am scrabbling around tonight trying to get my stuff together for tomorrow. Am strangely quite excited about going back - feels a bit like I am starting a new job! Will let you know how it goes and if I survive the day! and the reactions to the wig too.
Rattles - it is very hard when people ask your holiday plans isn’t it - considering we can’t really go abroad and hard to book anything as we don’t know how we will be feeling. Very interesting that you found the Tax easier than the FEC as well.
Emylou - try to focus on yourself this week and not miss your daughter too much - easier said than done I know! Think of the nice pressie she might bring you back. Dog girl - you are brave showing your friend your naked head - I was going to do this yesterday but when she brought her daughter with her I chickened out!!
Good night all
L x
Hey Darling Buds!
Good to see you are still all here. I have been looking in, but unable to contribute, so please forgive me…
I erm…well…Ive had a few more issues with with Spot (my PICC line - i used to pick my spots). I had bloods taken for FEC 3 last Monday, and all was fine. Tuesday I went for chemo 3, and the line failed. They chemo nurses tried 250 mls of saline through line, and arm became swollen. Went for tests in another hospital, and was inconclusive. Chemo Suite want linogram before deciding if safe or not, but not happy to leave for more than 1 week. Chemo must be before Tuesday then. I guess Monday will be conclusive. 2 out of 3 treatments delayed - the only one on time being the first. I feel guilty for wanting the added security of knowing the chemo will help protect, when all moan about the side effects. I have had next to no side effects - I would willingly endure to increase protection.
I guess it’s just starting to sink in - this is real - cancer is real…
I havent lost all my hair, but lost enough for it to be annoying and difficult. Therefore I have shaved it and you know what? the next person who expresses sorrow, I will kick up the backside and remind that it is my badge of honour. I am winning a battle that none wants to fight. - so you know what? I am damned well going to be proud of it!!!
Hugs to all, and special squeezes to our mascot!
Merc
xxxx
Hi everyone, seems like we have all had a horrid week/ weekend, this is my first day out of bed since chemo on Thursday, this one seemed to completely floor me, no energy, not even from the steroids 
first day I have been able to eat too , hopefully next one wont be so bad, just glad we can share everything on here as I don’t like family and friends to know just how bad I was feeling, couldn’t even summon up the strenghth to shower on Sat and Sunday, still onwards and upwards 2 down 4 to go so that means I am a third of the way there woo hoo !!! Must really try to get me positive self back as I really dont like this negative one !!! Hope everyone else on the way back up .
Love and hugs to everyone xxx
Hi buddies, I was wondering last night what had happened to some of our group who joined the thread but we’ve not heard from for a while - maybe lurking and not inclined to post, which is fine of course but would be nice to know how they are all doing… Havent heard from Bikerchic for a while or AlixJ, Vivibell, Anni, Alesha, Zumba, Langdon or May64…hope all you ladies are ok and still pop in to read the thread.
I had a great start to my week when I got a call this morning from my onc centre to see if I wanted a reiki massage this morning as I was on the waiting list and someone had cancelled - yes pleeeeease!!! Very nice and relaxing start to the day then I had a lunch date with a friend whose birthday it is today and ate far too much - had to be done. So all geared up for having bloods done tomorrow and seeing one of my onc’s team to discuss SEs etc. Hope everyone is ok and able to enjoy the sunshine. Ginger - my second FEC was worse that the first - sickness went on abit longer and felt more tired too but hopefully you are over the worst now and getting better every day. Merc - sorry you have had PICC trouble - hope you don’t get delayed any longer - its so frustrating, especially when you feel well and ready to go. Rattles and Kitten-mad - thanks for your messages re my daughter - got a text from school this morning to say all arrived safe and sound and they were off to Oceanarium in Brest, lucky devils!! Love to all, Em X
Hi, hope everyone is OK. i was wondering about some of those who haven’t posted recently too. Merc - hope your picc line is behaving itself.
It seems like several of us are getting ready to change to a different type of chemo. Harryduck - I found FEC not too bad, I was very lucky and did not get the sickness that some of the others had, and no probs so far with infections. I was given Ondansetron anti sickness on the dayof treatment and domperidom for a few days after. You still get steroids but a lower dose than for tax and you don’t have to take them the day before. I just get very tired and spaced out on the 2 - 3 days after stopping the steroids. I have also been getting sudden fatigue on about day 10 - 11- not sure if anyone else has had this but the nurse said this is when your bloods are lowest. My veins are a bit painful and there are no good ones left in my right arm so am getting a picc line. Apart from this I have felt OK.
Had my pre herceptin heart scan today which tickled! Icy cold ultrasound gel on your chest at 8am really wakes you up, even after chemo!
Squeakymouse xx
Hi all you lovley May buddies
Hope you are all feeling ok and not suffering too badly
Rattles I hope you are recovering/healing well.
So pleased little Elizabeth is doing well in her own room.
Myfanwy - so sorry you have been struggling, hope you and OH are feeling brighter
Sorry I have not posted for a while. I have been enjoying being SE free and getting out and about. Been into work today to show my face and take some cakes in for everybod. Lovely to see them. Also only second day out in the wig. I have just been slouching around the house in scarves mostly so quite funny to see myself with hair again. Wig gives me a headache after a while so I save it for outings only.
Since fainting whilst having my picc lline flushed last week I have been told I need an xray to check it hasn’t moved before my next flush. Nothing is ever straight forward with me!!
Beating the boredom … I am lucky that my OH is a full time stay home dad so I have company all day every day which is great. Which also means I have someone to wait on me hand and foot when I am feeling pants. And no school runs to do if I don’t feel like it.
Daytime tv is dire, I agree, but an occasional dose of Jeremy Kyle is good. It keeps my life and woes in perspective. Makes me congratulate myself on my life and realise things could be so much worse.
Well I am just going to try and enjoy these nest 10 days befor the next Tax attack. Anyone facing Tax - it is not too bad really little nausea on day 3 and totally wiped out on day 3-4 which gradually improves until You feel normal again around day 6-7. Well that’s my experience so far.
Love to you all
xx
Ginger1, sorry you felt so bad after your chemo. negative moments caught me out recently to but posting here really helped. It’s not surprising really is it with everything the darling buddies are going through that we have our moments.
Itsmelou, feeling much brighter now and like you am enjoying a SE free week. Interesting what you say about the wig giving you a headache. It’s exactly the same with me to the extent I shall only wear it when really necessary, like when my boss pops round for tea on Thursday, gulp, now I’ll have to do the housework! I wear a bandanna I got from the hospital and am fed up of my OH joking about spuds and ploughing so looked up a web site selling silk hats and scraves, a bit expensive but very glam so order pending! I’m on Taxol to and I agree about days 3 and 4 (sore feet and shins, tingly fingers) day 5 I’m a bit tired but then on day six everything seems back to normal.
I’m looking forward to tomorrow, just seeing friends and relaxing.
Hope everyone has a good evening and sleeps well.
Claire xx
A late post from me after my trip to the hospital and meeting my boss. So tired. Feel so removed from my ‘old’ life. I find chemo hard too Ginger. Merc- I describe it as a love hate relationship - I want it, want it, want it. I hate it, hate it, hate it. Also, its like childbirth. Once you start feeling better, you forget how hard it was. I worked out that with this lot of chemo. I would have been on chemo for 11 months in the last 3 years…
Welcome back Merc. Dont despair. It may yet get sorted.I don’t trust my picc line and keep waiting for it to get me, but have to say it made an amazing difference in hospital. Sqeaky mouse - take no notice of me. It is fine really. Doggirl has one too
Itsmelou - my OH is not working either. Not by design. But like you he looks after me. Only thing is, I think we get under each other’s feet sometimes and I worry about our finances.
Claire- bit of retail therapy will do you good but make your manager feel really sorry for you (who was it in the car park?) Do you mind sharing your website details. I cant find anything I like but silk hats sounds very interesting?
Em - you reiki massage sounds lovely. I had reflexology last week. Wish I could have it more often. Hope you are not missing your daughter too much.
Thinking of all the quiet buddies. Rattles xx
Evening Rattles,
I’ve sent you a private message regarding the silk gear. Let me know what you think. Not sure I remember the car park thingy though but perhaps that’s chemo brain!
Have a lovely evening. Just been out in the garden with OH and honeysuckle smells wonderful.
Love Claire x
Hello lovely ladies!
Well I’ve had an eventful time since my last FEC, had chemo last Monday and all ok whilst on anti sickness drugs. Then on Saturday went away to my brothers to celebrate his 40th and started to feel really unwell. Sharp pain in abdomen and generally crap, made it through BBQ and home next day just to go straight to bed. Decided to check temp and over 38 so called hospital and they said go to a&e so went in Sunday night and ended up being transferred to another hospital during the night to have more scans to work out where the pain coming from. Eventually doctor tells me I have acute infection in appendix area and need to stay in for a few days to be treated with IV antibiotic. So now I’m stuck in hospital again worst part was that yesterday was my birthday and I was nil by mouth so couldn’t celebrate with anything!
Oh well guess I’m in the best place just feeling sorry for myself, dont know how long I’ll be in for.
Hope everyone else ok and hugs all round
Polarbear - so sorry you are in hospital, and on your birthday too. Sending hugs and hope they let you go home soon.
Squeakymouse xx
Polarbear, hope you feel better soon.
Gillian xx
Polar Bear belated Happy Birthday and hope you get home soon xx, hope everyone else is starting to feel better /stronger , determined to chase away negative thoughts today !!!
Love and Hugs to everyone xxx
Sending you a big cyber hug Polar Bear - am so sorry for you. Sounds like you have had an awful time. Thank goodness though they found what was wrong and you are now being treated. I expect you will soon feel better as a result of the antibiotics. Really hope you aren not in too much pain.
A birthday you wont forget, but for all the wrong reasons! Suggest you postpone it for a week and really celebrate in style next week.
Feel better soon.
Love to all the buddies, Rattles xx
Polar Bear - Happy birthday, hope you are on the mend soon. Definitely delay your birthday till next week - the Queen has more than one so so can you!!!
Well just got back from having bloods done and despite having 7 days of injections to boost my white blood cell count they were still rubbish - 1.2 !!! bit worrying. Have I got the worst score of all us May buds?? Onc said I could still go ahead and have chemo tomorrow though so I am glad I’m not being delayed again. She also examined me this time as I said I hadnt noticed any change in tumour/lump size and she agreed it hadnt changed much, if at all. Bit depressing really having all this horrible chemo which has made my hair fall out, descimated my blood cells but left my cancer alone…Em x
Hi May Buds, Em, I’m still here, have been busy, my youngest daughter was due to have her baby on 27th June, she had a fall last week, bumping the bump on the shower waboth both were ok tho after spending a few hours in hospital, but baby decided to arrive on the 25th, and little Henry is gorgeous, weighed in at 7lb 13oz, and mum and baby are home and doing well, :-)), I’ve got my 3rd FEC tomorrow afternoon, bloods have been done today, so fingers crossed that they are ok. Hope everyone is ok and if recently juiced, I hope SEs not too bad, love to all Toni xx 
Wow, congratulations Bikerchic - what fantastic news, a new grandson. I’ve got 3rd FEC tomorrow too so we can feel pukey together!!!
Hey Ladies
Hope your all keeping well and not suffering too much with side effects.
I have not been on for a while as my nan died last Thursday on my birthday :O( gutted she was my best friend,Had my fec 2 on friday which i feel really crap on feel dirty with all the chemicals and really sickie this time but could be down to feeling so crap with losing my nan and i get married 4 weeks sat so hoping my next fec goes to plan on fri 13th just want this year to be over with.Hope everyone else is ok sorry to be doom and gloom take care all big hugs.
Becks xxxxx