Hi Doggirl. Its my my last one tuesday. Have to see the surgeon first to check the lump out. I’m seeing my onc tomorrow though so going to get her to cop a feel.
my birthday party was amazing. My friends spoilt me beyond belief. So many gorgeous presents, balloons, bubbly, hats, party poppers and cakes. Even got a bald head massage 
We stayed up until two and I was wiped out yesterday but it was so worth it.
This lump has taken the shine off my reaching my last chemo and dresdingfeeling crap and bed bound for the week, but we got there! I’ve actually got quite a bit of hair now, I can’t wait to have my hair back and get this scarf off.
Good luck to everyone who has chemo, ops or SE’s this week. And everyone who is feeling well have a fun week.
Hugs xxxx
Just popped on to say good luck to all having last chemo this week. I’m still suffering with SE’s can’t wait to start to feel abit normal again.
Take care
Xx
Hi Ladies,
Good luck to Dogggirl , Josie , and KittenMad (and anyone else lurking) who are having last chemo this week.
I saw the surgeon today - I am to have Mx and ANC on 27th Sept but can’t have immediate reconstruction because of the rads, which is what I was expecting. I will be in and out of hospital in 24 hours. So same op same date as Em , I think - we can hold hands! My rads will include the chest wall just under my collarbone but not under my arm as these lymph nodes will have been removed. The doc did an ultrasound - first scan I have had since starting chemo (mine doesn’t show up on mammograms) - and said he was very pleased with the response to chemo. Hubby is wondering why I have to go through surgery if it has responded to the chemo and herceptin (i.e why can’t I just carry on with herceptin indefinately), and I must admit I was wondering the same, but I suppose they don’t want to leave any stray dormant cancer cells behind.
I now just have to try and get the hospital to arrange the herceptin at home as they appear to be fobbing me off again but I won’t bore you with the details.
Squeakymouse xx
Hello all, our numbers seem to be dwindling dont they?
I was thinking of Josie but Josie, you wont read this post til later today. So glad you enjoyed your birthday.
By now Doggirl, and Kitten-mad have had their chemo. Joise fingers crossed you get the go-ahead for tomorrow.
Squeaky-mouse, its a surreal thing having a date for surgery, something you want (to be rid of the cancer) and don’t want, well for me at least, I was quite attached to my breast, small and saggy as it was…I really think that if they could avoid surgery then then would- that has been my experience, but if you have any doubts, don’t sit on them. I am thinking of you and Em. You don’t say how you feel about delayed reconstruction, but while the wait will be hard, at least you will have a better cosmetic outcome and less complications.
I m going to a LGFB this afternoon. This week could be my first week since April without seeing a doctor/nurse/hospital. I say could as I have just phoned surgeon as my ‘hole’ is ever-present. Waiting to hear whether he thinks I should see him or persevere with it.
All of you who are suffering, hang on in there…nearly at the finish line now.
Rattles x
Rattles - have a lovely time at LGFB - I went to mine in July and it was brilliant. I’ve done 5 rads so far - 19 left to go! Not that I’m counting or anything!
Julie
Rattles hope you enjoyed your LGFB session and got some lovely goodies to take away !! Squeakymouse- the same op date as me - will definitely appreciate some hand holding!!. Julie - think you will be first to finish treatment- how are you coping with the rads? I thought I was recovering well from last tax and went out to meet a friend for lunch yesterday but when I got home I started to feel a bit queasy and once kids were home I had to go and lie down. Then spent the evening being sick several times- yuk!!! Hubby was really worried and kept thrusting thermometer down my throat but didnt get a temp at all. Probably just a bug and feel ok, if a little washed out today. Don’t want to feel ill anymore!!! Good luck to all you buddies getting juiced this week - nearly at the end now, Xxxx
Had my rads measuring appt this morning, I was early so they took me early. Didn’t realise that they did the lymph area as well, it was quite sore keeping both arms above my head due to the dodgy arm!! Now any tips to get rid of all that red marker pen?
Sorry the computer is playing up and froze and I hadn’t finished! I drove myself up this morning despite it being an early start and not having had much sleep - I was in a bit of a strop and wanted to be treated as “normal”, well totally knackered now that’s for sure! Side effects - apart from the fatigue - are the usual sore mouth, thrush and ulcers. Oh and why do all liquids taste so poisonous. Will be finished the 5 weeks of rads by the end of October, which is a bonus as I thought it would drag into November. They don’t give you much of a break do they? and Rattles - you are right - the numbers on here are dwindling.
Take care
K M
x
Just popped on to say I had the lump scanned and am thrilled to report it is fluid lump from the op which have Hardened. Also had my last chemo. We were at the hospital for 7 hours so I’m now tucked up in bed.
So relieved. now now I justhope the se’s go easy in me.
Love to all xxx
Came on to see if you had posted Josie. So pleased and releived for you. Well done!
Kitten-mad, big hugs for today. I know what you mean- so hard for those who care to read our minds. I’ve bought a pedometer and trying to do the school run once a day. But to be honest, its too much and I am exhausted. But too proud to admit defeat!! Cant work out when you start rads? Is it a long drive?
Em, sorry you are poorly. Think we all need to take it easy.
Way past my bed-time so night, night.
xx
Er, Josie not Jodie, whoever she is?!!
Jodie- so pleased for you, what a relief and last chemo too- hope you sleep well tonight, X
I haven’t been on for a while. I think I have been trying to ignore all that has happened in the last few months and have just got on with my “normal” life. This however has resulted in me being really tired now.
I have been so lucky with my chemo side effects but for the last month if not longer the hot flushes have been soooo bad. It was just at night at first but now I have them in the day. Quite awkward when I have been in work and just want to wip off my wig or bandana! The breast cancer nurse suggested a chill pillow (or something like that) has anyone tried one? I haven’t had a decent nights sleep in weeks and it is making be really irritable and emotional.
Had a total meltdown at my last chemo as I didn’t want to do it anymore, couldn’t stop crying. Have chemo today and feel really tired and trying not to get worked up about it. I also start four and half weeks of rads on Monday so fear of the unknown once again.
One good thing, my work have decided to pay me for all the days I didn’t work last month (which I am not officially entitled to). They seem to be grateful that I have gone in when I can. Restored my faith in my employers somewhat!
I have read through all the posts of the last few weeks and lots of people seem to be nearing the end of chemo. Although I do not post much I do still think of everyone and what they are going through.
Take care all
xx
Hi everyone, Alesha I so know how you feel , I’m at the " Stop the TAX truck I want to get off" stage, so fed up with feeling 100 years old , aches and pains everywhere , stomach cramps that make me want to curl up and die , has taken forever to type as fingers have lost most of their feeling, still got one more to go, last week of September and a year of herceptin, rads start 16th Oct feel like its never going to end, sorry for being so negative just cant seem to find any positives at the moment . Love and hugs to everyone xx
Alesha - rads is a walk in the park compared to chemo! I’ve just done number 6 today. I can totally agree with the just get on with normal life thing. I did that until my last chemo and then I realised how tired I was (and still am)
Slightly amusing story to cheer you all up on this miserable wet afternoon (well it’s wet in Bradford!) When I was leaving the hospital today I got in the lift followed by 3 men - they worked for a fire prevention company. One of them was carrying a large hose - I was dying to say something like ‘that’s a big hose you have there’ but didn’t because I thought they might think they were trapped in a lift with a mad bald woman and there were other ‘elderly’ people in the lift too!
Take care
Julie
Hi Ladies
hope your all doing well have not been on here for a while Julie your post made me laugh,I’ve got my last chemo fri not looking forward to side effects but least it’s the last one.Had appointment with oncologyist yesterday and after my last app with his under study i was told i needed an op to remove my ovaries which i was quite happy with as i’ve had periods every month through chemo only to be told yesterday no way because of my age and the side effects so will be having monthly hormone injections so not looking forward to them as side effects are just as bad told him i would be divorced the next time i see him as my moods are really bad at the min he said they will get a lot worse :O( my weight gain is really getting me down too at the min just on a low and don’t no why want to scream at the next person that tells me you should be happy you have your life which is true but when u feel so down fat bald scared and ugly it don’t help will be starting rads in 4 weeks for 4 weeks and will be on tamoxifen.
Lots of Love to you all
Becs
xxx
Big virtual higs to all the buddies feeling low, nice to hear from everyone. I really enjoy reading everyone’s posts.
Alesha- my OH has a CHILLOW (he was having hot flushes before me!!!) which I try to steal. They are plastic and a bit like cool jelly. They are great to put your head on when you are hot. I was also told sage tea- I bought some but the smell makes me feel ill and so I don’t dare try it yet.
Zumba- I am having my ovaries out too. Got mixed feelings about this.
Well, I have done 5,055 steps today. Feeling very tired indeed. To be honest I thought I would be feeling better by now, a bit better anyway. My hands and feet really hurt and my two nails are starting to lift. My muscles and bones ache so much! And, I feel like I am fighting a cold! My stomach is still not right. I have put on weight this time too. I find this astonishing as I know I am not eating anywhere near the amount I would normally and my appetite is not good.
Emotionally, have great highs. Just so happy to be able to take daughter to school. Have been meeting friends. So amazing not to face chemo. Wonderful. Then I drop like a stone. If I manage to make it til Sunday, this will be the first week I haven’t seen a doctor or been to hospital since April.
Julie- good story. So, wish you had said it. Would have been hilarious!
love to you all, Rattlles x
Go on Rattles. Could be a record week for you, but I don’t want to tempt fate.
Thanks for the hose story needed a smile Julie.
******DOWNER ALERT*******PITY PARTY
So chemo done for me. Was a bit emotional. My friend brought doughnuts and champagne along to the chemo suite. Glad it’s over but feelng sooooooo scared today. Scared of having to do it again. Scared of it not being over. Of it coming back. Of dying. The list goes on. I meet a lady with secondaries in the waiting room on Monday. She told me that her grandchildren were keeping her alive. At the moment I don’t think I’ll even reach her age. I’m so peed off. I don’t want to bring everyone down. Is this always going to hang over us for the rest of our lives? It’s just so not fair.
Too much time on my hands to think on chemo week. I need to give myself a slap and think of all the good things. My sons birthday on Saturday. The big 1-0! Doublefigures and all that. Have party food to plan, cakes to make?..
sorry to vent. Have to stop now as covered in snot xxxx
Hi Doggirl
Congrats on your last chemo.
I totally know where your coming from, my last chemo was last week and while everyone around me seems to feel I should be happy and pleased its all over they really dont understand how we feel inside. I have really felt emotional this week, I think finally it has caught up with me what I have been through over the last 6 months.
I really hope you start to feel stronger soon and enjoy your sons birthday Saturday.
sending you hugs
Hope everyone is having a good week, good luck to those having chemo, rads etc…
Take care xxx
Doggirl- your dark thoughts sound very similar to my own and probably most of us on this forum!! Think the end of chemo gives us time to dwell on things and think about what we have gone through and why. I just want someone to tell me that my cancer is gone and will never come back but I know that can’t happen…we just have to find a way to cope with the uncertainty I suppose. Sorry this probably isn’t cheering you up much but at least you know you’re not alone, XXx