Hi everyone
Hope you are all doing OK and Doggirl and Bikerchic are feeling better.
Harryduck - hope your wig appointment goes OK tomorrow. Giraffe90 - thanks for sharing your photo, your wig really suits you and its very encouraging for those of us yet to experience the hair loss hurdle to see that wigs these days look so natural. I pulled a face like a little kid being told to eat their greens when the breast care nurse said I might like to get a wig. I was so worried about whether the wigs would look fake that I was seriously considering staying bald but getting tattoos on my scalp instead so that I looked like a punk rather than a cancer patient, and was going to ask whether it was safe to get tattoos during chemo because of the infection risk! Now, having seen your photo and other pictures of wigs on the internet I keep looking at people in the street and around the hospital and wondering how many of them are wearing wigs because you just can’t tell from looking at people.
I had a good day today, nearly managed a full day working from home including dialling in to some meetings. Em - you might be right about the steroids, perhaps this is why I had a little wobble Monday and yesterday, although mine was physical tiredess rather than emotional effects. I have been trying to go out for a short walk each day, the fresh air helps a lot and stops me feeling cooped up in the house. I just have to keep remembering to put lots of sunscreen on.
Love from Squeakymouse xx
Although I have been following people’s comments I am new to posting and really have no idea what I am doing! I had my first chemo this morning at 11.00. Feeling OK at the moment, although have a thumping headache. Stress??
I am having four sessions of Epiruberin, once every three weeks then followed by CFM for four sessions, two weeks on and two weeks off. My chemo is to try to prevent any recurrance. I had a Lumpectomy four weeks ago and my lymph nodes were clear and thought I was just having radiotherapy. Then the oncologist suggested chemo! It was a bit of a bomb shell as all the way through I thought it was just going to be radiotherapy.
Its been a whirlwind 6 weeks! Now I have decisions about wigs! Any suggestions? I have shoulder length hair and think I am going to get it cut short at the weekend. Do I go for a short wig as my hair when it grows back is obviously going to be short for quite a while and until it falls out everyone will see it short for the new few weeks??
Any advice about anything would be great.
Alesha
Hello alesha. I had my hair cut shorter ready for the loss and really like it. Im off for my wig app tomorrow so will let you know how it goes.
I am also a chemo first girl as i was pregnant when it was found and the surgoen said he could not operate on my milky breasts…! They really were not my own for two weeks after having my little girl. So sad not to be able to feed her when i was pouring milk and everyone in SCBU was pumping to feed their little ones.
As predicted im a bit down today. It really is a rollercoaster isnt it.
Julie love the wig. So pleased your temp sorted its self. x
Hi Alesha, I had the same as u lumpectomy, lymph nodes all clear, told would just have rads, but then they changed their minds and I’m now having chemo, shock or what!! Had first FEC on Monday 14th may so still feeling a bit yuck, but take the anti sickness meds as told, I was really sick on Monday night, but once been sick felt so much better, eating is a bit hit and miss cold drinks r great and drink loads, helps to flush the toxins from system, eat what ever u can keep down and little and often. As for the wigs, my appointment to c wig people hasn’t come thru yet, but I’ve brought a few bandanas, so I have options, and u WILL feel very tired, but listen to ur body if says sleep then sleep, oh by the way I had long hair, and had it cut really short, and I think it’s great, also gives people a chance to get used to seeing u with less hair, before no hair. Do u have to have rads after chemo? Anyway at the end of all this s**t we will have our lives back, but please remember u r not alone we r all either going thru or have been thru what u r about to start, so keep smiling 
and keep coming on here and pick people’s brains we may be suffering from " chemo brain" ( foggy feeling) but we will help 
Hiya darling Buds :-x
Reading through, I think you ladies may be right about the downer after the
steroids! Hit me a good 'un too!
PICC servicing went well on Monday - but have just tried for the MOT and got
given a ticket instead (for antibiotics) 
Mind you, that probably isnt a
bad thing as half the family have gone down with some sort of D&V bug
:-S
Had another of my x( evenings yesterday - jeeze I can be such a b***h - but
today I have been pretty good/happy. Well, I was until I went to the ladies and
realised I had just spent more than a penny! I guess thats why my scalp is
rather sensitive atm. Didn’t think I would loose the thatch afore the roof !
Welcome to all the new Darling Buds of May, and hugs to new and old alike.
I’m getting myself psych’ed up for Tuesday’s juicing session, and looking
forward to the steroid rush!
Laters ladies !
Merc
xxxx
Hello to all the buddies, and welcome to the new buds.
This is less of a reply and more a cyber rant. I was chatting to my sister on the phone and just remarking on the fact that my hair was okay, while at the same time running my fingers through it, when out came a huge handful… 
I am feeling really emotional about it and cross with myself- I knew this would happen, I know its temporary and (hopefully) will grow back so I dont know why I am so upset. I am having a bit of a wobble and wondering if I can do this all again (second time round for me for all the new buddies).
Julie you look great. I did want to say to bikerchic hope you are feeling a bit better. I feel a bit sick today, not sure if I am over-tired or its because I have been trying to east some fruit and veg (my normal diet, but seem to have completely gone off) and also hope ambarose is doing okay as I relate to your fears about the next dose. Also to Em that I am really sorry you are missing your holiday-maybe you could plan something for when you finish your treatment?
Going to have a big cry and then ring the hairdresser in the morning.
Rattles
Thanks to all for your comments - have tried it on again and can’t get it quite as nice just yet - will have to have a few practices. My daughter cried when she first saw it - she said she didn’t want me to go bald tears soon changed to laughter when she tried it on and nicknamed it elvis! Wore it when hubby came home - he says it’s alright so that’s ok! Merc your comment about the thatch made me laugh so much! Gillian - I’m booked on a LGFB session in July too - mine is in Leeds. Rattles - sending you a big hug Julie
I can soooooo relate to your rant Rattles: Ive just been down the hospital with my daughter - tried to make her laugh by telling her about the rapidly moulting thatch and ran my fingers through my head hair to show her it was still intact.
It’s not quite as intact as I thought
Julie - you think it’s time Barbara met Elvis?
Hugs
Merc
xxxx
Hi Julie
My LGFB session is in Southampton
Gillian xx
Hi
Really glad I posted now. This is all so supportive.
harry duck, I had read your story and cannot believe the emotions you must have gone through when you found out whilst pregnant. You sound a very brave lady as i know how exhausted I was when I had a new baby and was fit and well at the time! At least your baby is something very positive you can focus on. You are bound to have down times with all that you have gone through. I could only feed my son for 6 weeks for different reasons and he is fine but I know what you mean. Hope the wig appointment goes well.
Bikerchic, I hate to say it but am now 24 hours after my first chemo and have been ok so far (I don’t want to tempt fate). Felt a bit queasy last night but seem ok now. Was wide awake really early this morning and couldn’t go back to sleep. Still seem to have a slight headache though. I do have to have rads (? not used to the jargon). It will either be at the same time as second lot of chemo or at the end.
Glad you mentioned the foggy brain, I thought it was just me! Thats the beauty of this forum, makes you realise you are not mad or alone.
Alesha
Hi buddies, I’m now sporting my new shorter cut - had to go to a meeting at daughters school yesterday and got lots of compliments - shame I won’t have it for very long - haha!! I’ve just got an appointment to have a marker coil fitted on Monday - i think its so that if chemo shrinks the tumour so much it vanishes it will indicate where there tumour was and can still remove the tissue around it…? Has anyone else had ths done? I just wanted to know what to expect - I imagine itll be a bit like a biopsy but not sure really… Alesha - glad you’re feeling ok after your first dose. I imagine you will have rads following all your chemo treatment, when you have recovered. Rattles - sorry you are feeling rubbish about your hair - it’s so unfair we have to go through that trauma on top of everything else - try to think of it as being another step along the journey that brings you closer to the finish line and we’ll all be joining you soon!!! HarryDuck - hows that gorgeous little baby girl doing? when mine were tiny I would just stare at them for hours and hours watching all their little facial expression and gurgles!! Love to my other May buddies, Em xx
Thanks for all the cyber hugs.
Em- I had the same thing first time around. As you say, the idea is that it will assist the doctors in locating the tumour as it shrinks during the chemo. The insertion process is a bit like a core biopsy and is very quick and then they tape the tissue with stereogrip (not sure of spelling). You might find it bruised and a bit sore but its okay with painkillers. It is really okay and you would never know it is there.
Hello to alesha- glad you are feeling okay.
Merc - slighlty reassured to find you are experiencing hair loss- it was not as quick as this last time.
I wish I could say I was feeling better about the hair loss today, but the truth is I am not. Last time, I had my hair shaved off, put a hat on and went on to work for a meeting. No big deal. I think this time, its not so much about the hair loss itself, but what it means ie when I look at myself- let alone when anyone else looks at me-I see cancer -again. And I am just much more aware of how powerful the drugs are, of the side-effects etc. I know that power is a a good thing, I want those drugs to zap any stray cancer cells. I know I am lucky to be able to have chemo again. But, it really does suck alot more second time.
So, to cheer myself up, bought some new blusher and underwear…
Rattles, xxx
Hi all. Well i have had my wig app and have ordered a wig it should be in next week. My hair is now falling out in big handfulls and is driving me crazy…! My other half dosent want me to shave it incase it just thins. Ye right. Tha wig man says it will all be gone by this time next week but will be very patchy looking in a couple of days. Joy. I have bought a hat and scalf thing so watch this space. Emylou Baby is doing well and came wig shopping with me and granny. That will be one for the future “your first trip out was to a wig shop”! Rattles sorry your having a horrible time. Just canot imagine having to go through this twice. Sending you big hugs. Elesha so glad your feeling ok keep up the good work. I had no idea how emotional all of this would be. I have always been such a positive person but this has floored me. I cry most evenings about something or other. Maybe a bit of baby blues as well as everything else. My mum and other half are being amazing but feel guilty for them having to deal with it all as well. Tomorrow i will feel better…
Well thats it i have no hair… I am so much happier now its gone and not falling out in hand fulls. We had a glass of wine a cry then did it. Its all over. Wish i had my wig but i have a scalf and a hat to be going on with. Just got to see eveyone now and get over their reactions. My dad is going to be so upset bless him. My 7 week old daughter now has more hair than me…
Hi all
harry duck quite understandable you are so emotional. Having a baby makes you cry at just about anything. I cry so much more easier than before I had my son and he is now 15! I am sure your other half and your mum are fine just worried about you.
Sorry to hear your hair has gone. A friend said for her the waiting was the worst bit. She said you are inevitably distraught when it happens but then she felt a bit of relief as it was done and over with. (I am saying that but I don’t know if I quite believe it)! I will let you know in a couple of weeks.
Take care
Alesha
I have my first Chemo next Thursday, having FEC-T + Herceptin then Rads , going for 2 wig appointments tomorrow, have already had MX and ANC 20 out of 20 nodes affected, starting to worry again, it’s good to read all your posts and helps to know that you are not going through this on your own xxx
Good luck with your first chemo GInger1. Fingers crossed to min SEs.I think that I am coming out of the fog from Tuesdays FEC… I was a bit sick on the Tuesday evening but apart from that I have felt like its almost an out of body experience? Cannot really decribe it. Have felt like every thing is going on around me but I am not contirbutiing alll in all very strange. Have not been able to read or even really watch TV because of no concentration. You’ll have to excude my spelling and grammer - I appear to be broken! Well done on the hair Harry Duck, did bring a smile to my face thqt your lovely baby is now beating you in the hair stakes… At least she wont know any difference xxxx I had my hair cut short 3 weeks ago and its getting quite unruly… My husband preferes me with my scarf rather than my new hair, so life might be easier without it (is thick and curly). Have long blond barbie-esq wig lol!! What do I have to look forward to in the next couple of days? A poo would be nice?!! TMI!
Good luck with your first chemo GInger1. Fingers crossed to min SEs.I think that I am coming out of the fog from Tuesdays FEC… I was a bit sick on the Tuesday evening but apart from that I have felt like its almost an out of body experience? Cannot really decribe it. Have felt like every thing is going on around me but I am not contirbutiing alll in all very strange. Have not been able to read or even really watch TV because of no concentration. You’ll have to excude my spelling and grammer - I appear to be broken! Well done on the hair Harry Duck, did bring a smile to my face thqt your lovely baby is now beating you in the hair stakes… At least she wont know any difference xxxx I had my hair cut short 3 weeks ago and its getting quite unruly… My husband preferes me with my scarf rather than my new hair, so life might be easier without it (is thick and curly). Have long blond barbie-esq wig lol!! What do I have to look forward to in the next couple of days? A poo would be nice?!! TMI!
OOooooo posted twice! Have changed my photo to me having my FEC! x
Morning Buddies!! Hi Ginger1 hope all goes well with your first FEC - had mine last Thursday and haven’t had any bad SEs at all so fingers crossed! Got a funny throat this morning - not really sore but feels swollen and it feels hard to swallow - have checked my temp which is fine so just have to wait and see…Like your new picture Doggirl!! Think your short hair looks fine - my OH says he prefers mine short (now he tells me!!) . Harryduck - hope you are feeling better today about your hair going - its another stage of this horrible journey that we’re on but at least it takes us one step closer to the end. and there’s nothing wrong with the tears - quite normal after having a baby!!! Rattles - thankyou for the info on the marker coil thingy - at least I’ll know what to expect on Monday. I don’t feel my lump has shrunk at all yet - even seems bigger than before but I’m probably being a bit impatient as I only had first chemo a week ago!!! I always dread going to see the doctor in case they make some comment about my lump that gets me all worried and paranoid - like, ‘gosh thats a big one’ or 'not seen one quite like that before ’ or even worse, a kind, pitying look when talking to you!!!. Not that anyone has said any of those things yet, just my overactive imagination!! Hope all the other buddies are doing well, Em XX