Starting chemo October 14

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Hi murphy . Hope you pick up soon . After speaking to the onco on Friday he said that the percentage gain from another 2 chemo was v small and I had made things better for myself by having the 4 . Obviously 2 more would give a tiny bit more benefit but as you know by now they just don’t know ! Some research has been done in the u.s that showed for people with no lymph node involvement survival rates were no higher from 6 sessions than 4 . If I had carried on the fec I may have got to 6 more easily but maybe the tax evil as it is has done a better job of killing any cells than the 2 fec would have ? Who bloody knows ? If they could test us halfway thru and say yes we have zapped it all or no we haven’t then it would be so easy to decide wouldn’t it ? The main thing for me is that I was borderline for chemo and the onco was sucking his teeth long and hard looking at my onco type dx test . I knew that he did not know what to say to me about the need for chemo , and I could have walked away from it. . I chose not to and having 4 chemo will have helped to knock a few more percent off risk . I still have rads and tamoxifen to get through.i don’t want to end up so ill from chemo that I can’t get on with life again , I don’t even eat healthily at the moment as a result of it . I’m also mentally stressed and need some phsyc support . Anyway will see what onco has up his sleeve next week to tempt me with !
Ps

I do hope I haven’t scared anyone with my tax tales as not everyone gets the same effects .

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Murphy it’s rotten that you’re still in hospital. How long have you been in? It’s horrible being stuck there. I remember being desperate to get home. I hope your bloods start to improve and you get your next treatment on time. Like Debtex I’m 3 fec and 3 t with no nodes involved. I wonder how they decide what we’re having. Maybe it’s another of these postcode decisions?? Anyway hugs to you Murphy ??
Debtex you’re sounding a bit more positive. Hope you’re doing ok. Are you still in hospital? I think you’re right about not doing any more tax. I suppose if the reaction is so bad and the percentage benefit is so small you have to think about whether it’s worth it don’t you. ??
Peta glad you’re feeling ok. Hope it continues. Glad we have 2 ladies doing ok on tax just now. I have my first one on 19th and I’m worried about how I’ll feel over Christmas. If it was fec then at least I’d be able to predict. Let me know if your eyebrows go quickly on tax. Mine have definitely thinned a lot on fec so dreading tax. ??
Hugs to all you lovely ladies and hope everyone is having an ok weekend xxxxx

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Junash hope your infection is improving and your chemo goes ahead. Delay is frustrating so fingers crossed. It must be so much worse going through this for the ladies with young children. How do you keep on a brave face when you’re feeling so bad? I’m trying to be positive for my sons but they’re grown up now and I don’t have to think about school runs, clubs and routines etc. How do you do it? ??
AMDriver hope you’re feeling a bit better and not so down. ??
GeeG Hope your nausea is improving. You seem to have such a tough time with that. Loved hearing about the old lady. It helped me put this in perspective. It’ll soon be over and we can think about how much nicer Christmas next year will be. ??
Jingo I loved your photos. You have beautiful thick hair. Can’t believe you still have so much! I hope you manage to keep most of it. All you need is a hat if you’re going out, to hide your bald spot. ??
I know I’ve missed lots of you but thinking about everyone ??

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Hi everyone I’m home now . Feeling stronger . I do have a bad chest so prob that was cause of temp . I did get looked after well in hospital eventually . I did arrive v stressed and passing out . I seemed to be assigned a student who tried to do the admission stuff . She wanted to weigh me and when I shakily got out of bed to stand on the scales , the scales tipped over due to a faulty leg and I fell over onto the bed ! Then later they said they wanted to do a rectal exam because I had lower back pain . This was at one in the morning ! Let’s just say I declined that one ! Then I was told I had to lie flat , use a bed pan and not move all night ., again I ignored . I knew I was having muscle cramps not spinal problems ! At one point I said I’m leaving !!! I was a bit delirious and I did get sorted after that but omg what a feccing nightmare !! X

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Hi lovely ladies…it’s getting a tad difficult to keep it all together but I think we are all doing really well with this horrible regime.

Debtex so so glad you’re home and resting up after your time in hospital…love your ‘I will if I want’ attitude - way to go girl:) Your spirit is truly inspiring to me. Tough, tough, tough decision to be made but I’m sure you will get to the right. Can I check whennyou say ‘no lymph node involvement’ would that include “micro mets” which i had and was the tipping point by my onc for me to be having chemo? I’m doing my first Docitaxal/tax tomorrow… bit worried I’m heading for a bad reaction as I can have adverse reactions to stuff, but I also do know as you say that I very well might not! Thinking of you. Xxx

Murphy, thats really tough for you too being so poorly and laid up in hospital…I’m absolutely sure it is the best…in fact very possibly the only place for you right now. Fingers crossed that your bloods will soon be on the up with the treatments and care you are getting. Thinking of you too. Xxxx (thank goodness for Kindles and tablets :slight_smile: lol)

PETA, fantastic that you are on the countdown to getting in to your new home :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile: Hope you are still feeling OK. Thinking of you too. Xxx

Riversidedawn, that’s truely grim for you and what a worry about your wound…do you need to get that treated / sewn up? Mmmm hope you get your school run sorted as I’m sure you can do without that mither! Absolutely all encumbant partners and grown up children need to step up for Christmas this year - way to go girl :). Thinking of you too. Xxx

As I’ve said before, FULL OF ADMIRATION for all of you ladies and particularly those with young ones and knee deep with school runs, school clubs, monster Xmas shopping, etc… hoping you are all getting help from somewhere and getting some R&R along the way.

Also I’m just about holding onto my eyelashes and eyebrows… but I think I’ve heard that D/T can finish them off, so watch this space!

My vein shut down during my bloods on Friday :frowning: - does anyone know why that happens? Can we do anything to improve this? Now worried I’ll have to have them done again tomorrow and the bloods taken at the hospital where up there in terms pushing my fainting buttons :frowning: I know, I need to get a grip.

To all I’ve missed I am thinking of you all…<<<hugs>>> I do hope all with a trip to the cocktail bar have a successful trip and are OK after with minimal se’s xxx

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Hi Ladies Having a quiet weekend but nervous of what next week holds. Having my first Tax on Tues , just hoping my veins will be ok otherwise it’s a line.
I have what looks like an infected toe redness is radiating from the toenail not sure why. Don’t think I’ll bother with the black nailpolish I have as the nurse said it doesn’t work and I don’t fancy cold hands and feet in this weather.
Good luck Bettypoppit with first Tax tomorrow and for any other ladies having treatment this week .xx

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Hi AMDriver, great to hear from you and sounding in fine fettle tonight :slight_smile: Fantabulous that Christmas us being put on for you by your family…put your feet up when you need and soak it up…great stuff. Hope you find your list!

Jingo_x, good luck tomorrow and thanks for the info update, feeling a little reassured i can do this. Hate, hate, hate the steroid se…took 2nd lot of 4 this afternoon and already biting the ‘heads off whippets’ in true Monty python style! lolol

Zelda, thank you and good luck for Tuesday…guess it’s back to the unknown again that’s making us anxious for new dose. Sorry to hear that you have a toe infection…not really not what you need and please be extra careful with your tootsies in walking boots/wellies when heading out with poppy. Its a goid heads up to me so thanks for posting. Think I might try the cold gloves but I’m not going to bother with cold socks.

Are others at different hospitals (Zelda and I are both at UHNS) using cold gloves/socks?

I really need to followup on the counselling option…thinking I’ll need it by the end…the ever present 'monkey on my back ’ and feeling a guilty fraud at times with my wle (not MX) and micro Mets (not full clearance) etc…and my bouts of crying moody blues and self pity when many many others are dealing with so much more than me:(

Tired, tired, tired so heading to bed very soon. xxx. I sooo need a mood hat to warn OH to take a wide birth of his one and only baldie spiky wife! Lololol

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Hi Betty poppit . Your posts are so comprehensive ! I don’t know how you remember everyone . To clarify I had no lymph node involvement . I had a oc type dx test which gave me 15 PC risk of it coming back mitigated down to 6 p cent or less with chemo . This took into account tamoxifen and rads . If u do the maths that makes each chemo worth an xtra 1.5 PC therefore I have gained 6 PC by having 4 chemo bringing my risk down to 9 PC . I miss out on 3 PC by not completing and it is the significance of that 3 PC that I will discuss with consultant on Wednesday . Good luck to everyone both having and recovering from treatments this week xx

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Bettypoppit and Jingo good luck tomorrow and Junash for Tuesday. I think I’ve missed someone else for Tues? Hope tax is not too difficult for you all. Keep us posted about how you’re all doing xxxx

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Hi debtex, you certainly have had more detailed info and discussions with your care team…think I might need to pursue this further. I confess, I was overwhelmed at the start of this journey - like many if not all - so I may have been given this info but I don’t believe so. All the talk was that doing chemo was taking a ‘belt and braces’ approach… my problem us I don’t believe this… Yet.

Blooming steroids…I’m now quite awake and waiting to feel tired enough to sleep :frowning: might give it a go in a minute. Hope others are fairing better in this regard xx

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Thanks LainieG, will keep you posted as I’m sure my UHNS comrade Zelda will as well, from her dose on Tuesday xxx

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Knew I’d missed someone. Good luck Zelda xxx

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Hahaha liking the sound of a well noisey squirrel keyring Jingo_x, think I’ll have to add that to my Santa list :wink: Having just had a bit of a spend on Amazon music downloads (I’m a pop girl so an old Olli murs and debut Ella Henderson who I loved on x- factor) ready for the week ahead, now going to try and get some sleep…plugging in to my hypnotherapy CD…fingers crossed. Hope you can get some shut eye too xx

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Ladies you make me laugh and cry! I’m struggling to keep up with you all as I’m between the October and November groups, and falling behind as FEC 2 was delayed because of infection, now the mx wound has opened up I fear next session will be delayed too - good news for Christmas though.

Must look into hypnotherapy and counselling, think I could use both.

Good luck all this week x

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I’m not even on steroids!

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Steroid time for me my head is buzzing , A lot of my Xmas cards seem to have on the back Macmillan Cancer Research, maybe that was on the cards last year but never noticed as much.
Hope everyone is ok today xx

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Hi, like Jingo_x, Docetaxal/ tax went well …nowhere near as nauseating making I felt…had a wait as the paperwork was a bit messed up, but only 45 mins so not too bad. Used cold gloves…'BL***y hell HOW are you ladies doing the cold cap!!! Big admiration…at one point I pulled my hands out as they were soooo painfully cold…no freezing! But carried on afterwards…time will tell. I somehow had the ‘head honcho’ chemo sister doing my treatment and I confessed to being really anxious about having an allergic reaction but she assured me that if that happened, it would happen during treatment - it would manifest itself with sudden shortness of breath, dizzy (I think she said)… She reassured me they were all ready to respond immediately and slap on oxigen mask (omg), administer antihistamine and get a doctor to check my heart!!! She also said (to my statement that 2 ladies had ended up in hospital - hope you are both doing OK today and Murphy getting home soon), that that would be as a result if D/T she’s…??? Anyway, no reaction to report this time but apparently it can strick at each dosing. Anyway all finished and heading home at 12.15 and feeling OK and still OK at 5 but have not moved off the sofa!

Zelda, good luck tomorrow and I really do think you will get on better with the D/T as “easier on the veins” chemo nurse said. Really hope so and thinking if you…what time are you due?

Only a quick posting as got to get OH up as he needs feeding before he heads off for his nightshift. Very possibly will be popping back to enjoy the ‘wide awake club’ in the early hours and one last thing, riversidedawn…find a bonefide hypnotherapist and go for it…I’ve had just 2 sessions…walked away from both Sooooo relaxed, with a CD to use at home…lovely experience and not scary…nothing like those TV shows! Cost £40 for each hours session and I’m tempted to go back in the new year for another walk down a sweeping staircase, gentle mooch through a walled garden to sit in the sunshine on a cushioned comfy garden swing seat, dreamily listening to the sea …<<snore…>>> lolol

Hugs and xxx to all

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…felt with FEC…!!! missing from above!!!

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Hi Zelda, the nurse took one look at my dry hands and got a prescription sorted there and then for Derma500 - which is nice and absorbed quickly…I’d put that on your conversation/ question list tomorrow. Scary seeing some poor devil being Trollied off - during my first fec treatment I now realise that a lady a few chairs down had a reaction as the ‘crash’ shout went out instantly but after 10 mins of very impressive care, she was fine and I guess went to the ward for observation and more care - I have to say I’m very pleased with the care I’m getting at UHNS. I’m hopeful it will go well for you tomorrow. Xxxx

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AMDriver that is pants and understandably very upsetting for you that your treatment plan is stretching out, but I hope you can find a way of getting around any clashes with all the lovely things you have planned but obviously you won’t be able to delay the birth of your granddaughter! ;). Hang on in there…still a way to go but the end is coming into view and we are all here for you xxxxx

p.s. coming upto 8pm and following first D/T this morning, still feeling good…early days in terms of se’s (have taken odandeston as before) but feeling much better than FEC for me…touch wood and tempting fate obviously!!