bacca have a fab bday eve. and good luck for tommorow
lif, i love war films and was thinking great escape or also escape from alcatraz, u need clint eastwood to help. big hugs though.
when i was in hosptial having my lumpectomy and throat resection i was in a ward with all odd people, and at night it was like the awakenings, they were wetting the bed, one shoted i got through the wr ill grab my bed pan, then one was fallign out of bed!!poor nurse on duty was run ragged gave me somethink to watch and laff about though…
LiF - thank god for that - but we’re all waiting to spring you if the docs change their minds… I’m sure a tribe of shaven headed lopsided women brandishing prosthesis boobs and singing ‘I am what I am’ very loudly would scare the bejaysus out of the staff…
Jam - does seem odd that they do your bloods the week before - of course they are still going to be low then, as they dip in the middle week of chemo! Mine get done the day before, so see onc. and have bloods done on Thursday. Going for coffee in town beforehand with couple of mates, so the caffeine reading might be a bit high…lol… can see my blood sample being pure hazelnut latte…
Happy early birthday bacca. Virtual hand-holding tomorrow - my 3rd too. Totally feccing fecced off with feccing FEC - and have to have 4. Had a HORRIBLE time last ime with palpitations during the night - think it was the ondanastron, so will be BEGGING for Emend tomorrow. Always fatigued and nausea for at least a week after, so have had a strop today, ripping down Christmas decorations as I know I wont feel up to it on 12th night. Manically cleaned house and batch cooked pea and ham soup, lasagnes, and beef stew for the family for the following few days, before preparing tonight’s meal of salmon steaks. Everyone giving me a wide birth - wonder why?!
xx
Peachez - yup, you’re right on the weight thing, and it is something I will have to re-address … but not until chemo is done with! I lost two stone over the summer, still needed to lose another 20 pounds or so, and I think it was the weight loss that showed up the lump in my boob - my weight always disappears from my bust first - so I’m eternally grateful that I did get my act together and lose the weight when I did.
I had hoped I’d get the skinny chemo… but I have been SO hungry since the first session that I don’t think I did
I have battled my weight throughout my adult life - particularly since children #3 and #4 - I managed to put on five stone with those two, and I am not one of those women who shed the weight breast feeding… I think I packed on extra fat! I am now only about two stone over where I want to be, so know I can shed that - but right now I’ve decided that chemo/bc is tough enough, and I have given myself permission, for once in my life, not to stress about my weight. Fortunately, I have an onc. who agrees
Sophie - like you - I lost a couple of stone, this year, especially on the bust and was able to spot the lump earlier. I still have a stone to lose but have given up on my diet until after the chemo
Happy birthday for tomorrow - Bacca
Starting FEC 4 tomorrow - want to get it over and done with but dont want to go through with it - at the same time.
Havent caught up withh all the posts yet but just wanted to say to all of you feeling like giving up My Fec 3 was my worst I was the sickest and pooliest with that one and felt very low and as if OMG its 1/2 way ive got to do that all over again before im done ,but please keep going girls cos the last 3 wern’t as bad and once you get passed No 4 you do get that extra push cos the end is in sight and you never have to feel like that again If you havent already please ask oncologist for extra meds or emend as i got it at no 3 and wish i had asked earlier its worth it .So please keep on going think of all those lovely families to strive on for and you WILL get there xxJulie
Ha ha Kaz that sounds like my average nightshift to me 1 patient thought i was a lady of the night ( ie prostitute) and asked “does my mother know what i was doing” and i said" yes my mother is very proud of me" to which he repied" proud proud what kind of mother is she" ha ha OMG how am i gonna go back to that tomorrow HEEEEELLLPPP
And millykins i promise i wont say the sharp scratch coming line again EVER
Hi everyone, just catching up with what you’ve all been up to.
LIF - I’m so sorry you’ve had such a miserable time and it makes me so cross that it’s bad enough having to be in hospital and to go through all of this without having to be treated in this way. They don’t seem to realise how their actions affect us. I was all for digging out my old nurses’ uniform and joining the BCC ‘A’ team to come and break you out of there but it seems that they have heard that we were on our way and are hopefully going to release you before the riot begins.
Sophie - you mentioned that you were ER+++++ but I only know that my tumour was oestrogen positve rather than knowing the extent of that. Is that something they told you when you were first diagnosed or did you ask? I also had the same issue re weight loss post pregnancy and breastfeeding. By losing the weight I could then feel the lump although in hindsight the midwife should have picked up that there were changes in that breast. Even though I kept mentioning it they just said it was normal. I should have gone with my gut instinct but I suppose as they didn’t seem interested I thought I was obviously worrying over nothing.
summer11 - glad you’re feeling better and sure fresh air does help boost up your energy levels if you feel up to going out in the first place which I must admit I haven’t today. Sarah - going for a run sounds good especially as you’re feeling quite good at the moment. Although I’ve never been much of a runner, I go to circuit training with 4 girfriends at someones house with a personal trainer and I always feel really good for having done it.
Bacca - happy early birthday. I’ll be thinking of you, dima, janvis, pollypocket and anyone else who is having treatment this week. Good luck and sending you lots of love.
Janvis - that sounds a shame that you’ve been told you can’t play your flute as that’s something you enjoy. Is that just cause you can’t have your arm up for too long?
Jam123 - that does sound odd about your bloods being taken so early. I do hope that they don’t delay your treatment. COuld you ask for more bloods to be done?
Hugs to all and hope everyone feeling better very soon.
Good luck Julie for tomorrow. You haven’t really been away from your caring, nursing role as you’ve been looking after all of us lot for the past few months, although we’d never ever suggest you were a lady of the night!! LOL
x
LiF - more than willing to help with the escape plan should it be needed, hope it isn’t but glad you’re getting sorted out (except for the incompetent nurse)
Re: giving up.- this is a tough long course and it’s hardly surprising if you get fed up but please don’t unless it’s suggested for medical reasons. Apart from the initial diagnosis my worst moment was when they said there’s a problem with my liver. I really don’t want someone saying to me or any of you lot ‘sorry but it’s come back’. This is a long haul but it will be doable - we’re doing a marathon not a sprint.
And talking about running - when I spoke to my onc he view is to carry on your normal life as much as possible, just make sure you listen to your body. I’ve felt pretty good over the last week so I’ve been back running (a slow 3+ mile a day). I’ve taken it really steady but have felt fine and mentally has done me the power of good. I’ve also been playing my clarinet until I feel puffed, if I only did 5 minutes I wouldn’t have put the thing together.
Had my pre-chemo bllods today (just waiting for the phone call to say they’re ok) in preparation for Wednesday #3 (half way but then onto tax).
No heating oil yet so I’m going to give someone merry hell tomorrow when I phone.
Julie - thinking of you for tomorrow. It must be a combination of excitment and nerves. Good luck but I’m afraid I will probably still be asleep when your duty starts but my thoughts are with you.
Happy birthday bacca.
Take care of yourselves girls - you’re all very special
Taken me hours to get through all the posts! Been away for a few days over New Year (more of that later).
Reeb - shocking what the girl at the bank said. I have told hardly anyone (not even my sisters or parents) that I got £71,000 from my critical illness policy. I don’t want anyone saying I’m lucky. I would gladly give it all back. Especially as my onc suggested I don’t invest it in a pension as I wouldn’t be able to get it out before I’m 55 (I think it was her subtle way of saying 'don’t assume you’ll be around in 13 years time).
LiF - hope you have broken out of the hospital prison and are back with your sheep - so much more sensible than medical staff. When I was in for my mx, they kept waking us all up to take blood pressures - including a woman who had elected to stay in an extra night to have a break from her small kids. If she had gone home, her blood pressure wouldn’t have been checked during that night.
Stella - all the best for the op.
Janvis - sorry to hear about the blood clot and hope it gets sorted soon.
Sophie - mine was ER+ as well. Not sure about the ovary thing though as it mentions osteoporosis but will maybe ask my onc. I’m 42 so no need for fertility.
Everybody else - try to keep well and positive. And if you’re not well, swear a lot.
OK, so my grumble (and feel free to skip). The context is a couple me and my husband get on really well with always hire a nice cottage somewhere for New Year and invite us and others to stay. We have a big meal, all poshed up (men in dinner jackets, ladies in posh frocks), then drink, play games, watch fireworks on telly and drink champagne. So, I should be and am grateful we were invited again this year (Nortumberland - beautiful). We arrived and the first evening the guys were playing pool in the games room and the other guests were doing something else. My friend started talking about my BC - only second time I have seen her since dx. She said ‘you have to keep positive’. I agreed and said ‘yes, I know I have to go along with the treatment and hope I’m one of the lucky ones’. She said ‘it isn’t luck, you have to stay positive and that makes the difference’. So I told her that a woman I knew who worked for my dad died from BC at 40, she had 2 young sons so had every reason not to give up and every reason to fight. My friend also said her father-in-law was diagnosed with cancer in his leg when he was in his 20s and advised to have an amputation. He chose not to have the amputation and ‘kept himself fit to stave off the disease and had an active happy life until cancer finally got him at the age of 74’. I wondered then whether she thought I should not have had the mx and just kept myself fit instead. Was still upset about it today but must e-mail her in a minute to thank her for having us. The rest of the break was good but she upset me by what she said.
Hi all:)
Julie - good luck at work tomorrow
Bacca - happy birthday
Lif - hope you escape soon. I was in hospital a lot when pregnant with will, the food was at times inedible, t’husband used to bring me food parcels:)
So, day 4 post ec3-feel rougher than a rough thing in a rough place. Achey arms, shoulders and base of my skull/top of my spine - all very tender to touch too. Kidneys still ache, drinking lots to try and flush stuff through. My left arm is really painful too, am sure chemo nurse pushed my cocktail through to quickly (she didnt fill my book in either:/) Am trying to sleep it off. I wonder if the extra week to recover from ec1 made ec2 that much kinder? Hey ho! The hospital had ran out of neurolasta so t’husband is stabbing me everyday for 5 days. He enjoys it:)
Periods - mine have been as regular as usual but way heavier, was kind of hoping that they would disappear!!
Big hugs to you all, you make this much easier to bear:))
Kerry xxxx
Nottsgal - sounds like a lovely New Year idea but I bet it was hard not to rage. It’s as if; should this gets worse will it be all my fault ‘cause at times I got fed up’. Grrrrrrrrrr Not on quite the same level but I’m not the best of housewives and cleaning isn’t really my thing but we had some people coming once and I’d spent days getting the place respectable only for them to arrive and to be told ‘so homely and so glad you haven’t bothered to tidy up’ - they never got invited again!
Trip and ang i had bloods done on fri as dr`s were shut yest, i normally have them done on a mon, pre ass tues and chemo fri, this happened last time and had them re done on the thurs so no doubt thats what will happen this time, im going to ask about the jab that i think reeb said about (sorry if it was someone else)and also if it would make more sense to have bloods done later!!! fed up with the needles!!! since this morning i now have a stinking cold and sore throat, feel like p**p ;(
Julieb good luck on your return to work tom, hope it goes well,
Bacca happy birthday to you
Hugs to everyone
Jam xxxx
Hi everyone and thanks for all the encouragement to continue. I may feel a little different once my arm is a little better. Its just more to cope with. Even changing gear is painful but it is the only enjoyment I have - just to go for a drive to nowhere to get out of the house.
Your weekend sounds lovely Nottsgal and a pity those comments have hurt you so much. People can be so insensitive in what they say. Someone said as much to me - " the lady across the road died because she had given up and was not positive about beating the BC". I got angry and said that I cant always be positive and so if I die you are telling me its my fault?". They were all apologetic and told me that they did not mean it in that way.
Being positive is all people can say about cancer when they dont know what else to say - so dont take it to heart - she actually thinks she is helping by giving you a PEP talk and being supportive.
Good luck for going back to work tomorrow Julie. You will feel as though you have not been away by lunch time! LOL
Angie - I cannot play my flute because my arms are too high for too long and like you it takes too long to put together for a 5 minute session
Thinking of everyone with chemo this week and all those suffering from side effects.
Reeb - your visitors’ comments gave me a laugh. But I would have been devastated after all tht work too.
Jam - know what you mean about pointless blodd tests. I have FEC next Monday so have to go for blood tests on Friday but as that’s not a full 3 weeks after last FEC the levels will probably be too low so they will have to re-test on Monday. That’s what happened last time.
Janvis - I love thr freedom of driving too. Any chance you could get an automatic car so you don’t have any gears to change ;0). I know my friend didn’t mean to be hurtful but I hate having this stupid disease and don’t want people to think it’s my fault or I’m not doing enough to get better. LiF always seems so positive and she ended up in hospital.
GOOD LUCK QUEENIE for tommaz, you’ll be wishing you was having a holiday soon.!! FAB TO GET BACK TO IT THOUGH. XX
you’ve done really wellxx
been interesting to see a lot of us have been flat after fec3, emotionally and physically … we can do it, an we will help and support each other.xx i think its very reasurring when you realize its all of us thinking all the same thoughts. so we are normal after all!! lol
ive never ran before as i had big boobs then a reduction in dec 08 then my breathing was bad so its only now i can look at excersise and i have cemo, !! lol. i do try and got for a walk most days and also went on andys treadmill today for 20 mins. wil try and run after cemo
also ive given up on peoples comments now, as i was getting upset, but now i try to just let them wash, as they dont know what to say and think speaking about stuff is better and a help. i think i may have said silly things to people in the past.
Well thats another birthday nearly over with. Really dont like january birthday do you bacca? Will have to have another one when treatment over with. Counting days down now for thursdays first EC.
Julie good luck for work. Im sure it will feel like you have never been away in no time at all.
LiF so glad you can escape soon you poor thing.
Reeb that really made me chuckle what your guests said.
Nottsgal i cannot believe what the ONC said to you!! How awful. And then your friend.
Nottsgal
We are all doing more than enough to get through this - so there is no need to feel you are not.
The problem is we are all so brave to people outside our immediate household and do not let people know how bad it is. So they all feel it is easy. If only they all knew!!
We all have our ups and downs and even the most positive person in the world would have doubts about going through this torture.
I could get an automatic car but love to drive with gears. The onc tells me it will go away shortly - I wish I believed him at this moment! But must remember to take each day as it comes.
Take care everyone
re comments - I am seriously thinking of sending out an email to the whole of my work department basically outlining how they can help me in terms of what to say & what not to say when they see me in a gentle way but more outlining that thinking positive will probably not be the thing that saves me or kills me - getting through the treatment & maybe trying to be a bit healthier in eating more fruit & veg & some exercise might!!!. shut up about not eating dairy & not using deodorants etc etc . That we all have up & down times & days so no one can be positive all the time - they aren’t & they don’t have BC so why should we be!!
may have to give it soem thought but at least giving a heads up may help them feel more comfortable. I have a bit of a reputation at work for speaking my mind so I shouldn’t think they’d be shocked or surprised if I did something like that. My friends are all pretty good though I still get the odd - any one of us could get run over by a bus line - to which I reply - yes but you only have a 1% chance of dieing in the next 10 years - I have a 15% chance so it’s not much of a comparison - blunt maybe but makes them shut up & think!
anyway - rant over
best of luck julie for work tomorrow - I bet the day will fly by - then you can start your new night job LOL
I expect the downs at no 3 are the normal - god I’m only half way & still have as much to do as I’ve done thing. all very normal I am sure.
I’ve just realised my friend’s wedding is the day after TAX 2 (no 5) so am going to ask to move it to the following Mon from the Fri - only 3 days so hope they will cos I won’t make the wedding otherwise. - has anyone else requested a move ???
feeling brighetr today as went to see a friend for a few hours - think the cold isn’t one - just felt so bad but no more symptoms so fingers crossed it isn’t. think I needed to get out of the house more cos was feeling stir crazy. thank god Sophie back at nursery Thurs - I love her to bits but it’s all got a bit much with my chemo & her at home for 3 weeks. rob back to work tomorrow so first day with her on my own.
