Morning pinkies!
Well, it’s my wedding day!!! We made it through this and just wanted to pop on and say thanks to all you lovely pinkies, I couldn’t have got here without the laughs and tears and ups and downs! Xxxxxx
will post some pics on FB and catch properly when back from honeymooning.
Notts - take it easy with work, i spend most of my train journey there crying for fear someone will ask me a question I can’t remember the answer to. Stick with it. Xxx
Cat xxxx
CAT - hope you have a fantastiscally fantabulous day :))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) best wishes for happy healthy future to you both.
kerry xxxxx
Morning:)))))
Polly - ring for a take away:))) Supervise, dont paint. Am sure it says that in some bc handbook, lol:)))
Notts - its a shame about your boss’s dad, but, you need to be happy at work too. Its a hard situation.
Had wig incident last night, was at rugby and I had my hoody on because it was raining. Had a hot flush and rushed to pull my hoody off, forgot i was wigged!! Wig came off with hoody, was rescued by my friend who pulled my hood back down. lol.
Kerry xxx
Cat, have a fabulous day. And all the best for a long, happy, healthy future together.
Xx
CAT, , HAVE A FAB DAY HUNNY, your gonna look gorgeous, cant wait to see pics. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
kerry, lol, i did that once too, i was horrified, but good your mate was there to help. xx
polly, dont be hard on your self hun, the rads is another part of more treatment and is bound to get you down. get take away. wish you was comming york hun
notts, how dare that woman say you look on the negative, that made me really mad. is she in your shoes NO, so how can she possibly comment. its funny how all these people seem to know how we should be!! its awful for your boss. but he will also know how crap all this C stuff is, and the workplace has a obligation to make allowances for you to feel happy and comfortable at work. we are covered by the disablitly act.
my lost post was editied by bcc, as i had called the people at your work ********** so thats why it ended as or r they just lol
in prep for my 100 mile walk, which i am realizing im totally off my head for doing, last night me and jo went for a 7 mile walk with rucksacks ect. well i wasnt too bad but wonder how ill do 19 one day,!!!
no kids this weekend, so andy and i are off out with another couple, my friend and her fella. we fell out 18 months ago after 20 years, she was and still is real high maintance, but she got to hear about my siutation and wrote to me. and since then have met a few times. she seems to be ok. its really odd how some friends are, how some bother and some dont. andys kids helped me more than some friends.
have a nice day all, and lets all save a thought for cat today, id be throwing pink confetti. lol
Have a lovely day Cat!
xxxxx
And everyone else of course 
“Happy wedding Day Cat” - lots of good wishes to you both, have a lovely day.
hi julie - pleased to have you pop in - i am not so good with facebook - i think i have a lot of you on my friends list on there but still not sure who i got missing - feel free to add me as a friend anyone - (you will find me on kazs/julies/kerrys lists list amongst others.)but you will need to identify your name on here so i know who you are??
Juklie - hope you and notts get work issues resolved. i had a spat with my kids the other day - they are bemused why i am not back at work, two weeks post rads. i can’t seem to get them to see why i am not and noone else talks to the kids to put my side forward. i got really upset especially cos i really cant see when i will be ready to go back to work. how does going back on pashed return, starting 3 months after end of rads seem to sound to you lot?? advice/guidance/thoughts appreciate - should i wait longer??
i have decided to take the citalapram that the doc has recommended. i dont want to take it but i will give anything a try now if it helps me to feel better so here goes…is that another reason to delay going back to work i ask myself??
polly - keep chin up, rads is a slog but you will get there. i felt emotional too. take it easy with decorating but enjoy the results.
kerry - i can relate to the hoodie/wig incident - it is so easily to forget you are wearing it isn’t it, ive opted for zip up fleeces n cardis in place of hoodies recently!! sorry you had words with your friend - sure it will resolve
Kaz - well done on 7 mile walk - you are doing sooo well. good for you. hope you enjoy the time with your friends. yes you really do fing out who they are don’t you?
luv to all, Claire
Happy wedding day cat may all youre dreams come true xxxxx
Happy wedding day Cat. ( tho I’m a bit late). Hope you’ve had a fabulous time and have many happy years together. Looking forward to seeing the pics.
I was a domestic goddess today. Cooked meal for friends and even made bread! No one believed me tho!
Had a nice eve. Didnt finish the decorating. Just put some furniture back. It was fine tho.
Will take it easy tomorrow ( today really). Have some early rads next week. Ones at 8.36 on Wed and it’s about an
Hours journey!
Big hugs.
Polly xxxx
P.s Claire glad you’ve decided to take the Citalopram. It may make you feel tired for a while but that passes and you’ll start to be able to see things more clearly. Xx
Claire, simply say to your kids that you’ll be going back to work when the doctor says you are ready. Don’t let them think it’s your choice, because at the moment I bet if you asked your doctor to sign you back on, he/she wouldn’t. Whenever you feel ready to go back (and 3 months after RADs might be fine) you may find it a positive because you won’t be alone during the day and will be busier with less time to dwell on stuff.
Kaz, shame the BCC moderators tampered with your post. As for the walk, you’ll do it. If you can do 7 miles without too much ill effect, you probably could have carried on and done 19 miles. I assume you will be stopping for a break at the odd pub on the way? When I did the 182 mile Offa’s Dyke walk, I found by the end I was fitter and easily able to complete the day’s walking. Remember to take those special blister plasters with you.
Well done Polly on being domestic Godess. i hope they appreciated it.
notts, thanx for the vote of confidence, you was amazing for doing the walk you did. im not sure ill be stopping at pubs as wine lately goes straight to my head. lol. just done another bike ride. Andy made me. lol
i was thinking maybe my tiredness is due to the increase of my citalaphram, i was on 10 now 20mg.
got docs tomorrow hopefully for another note.
poly, well done lass, you did really well, good luck with rads this week.
moms bday today, went over with pressies and she looked awful, she had some pain back last night and she really started panicking. and she is really out of breath. tried to explain thats normal and to ring garden suite tommorow and theyll put her mind at rest. its really worried as it brings it all back for me. but its good i can try and help. x
hugs to all, sweet dreams xxxxxxxxx
Morning:)))))))))
Polly - glad the entertaining went well. making your own bread - WOW! Good luck with rads x
Kaz - amazing doing your walk:)))
Went to look at puppies yesterday. French bulldogs. Gorgeous. Little pop eyed, snuffly babies, and some older pups too. Have wanted one since i was a teenager. We shall see …
Seem to have much more movement in my arm, can get it above my head now, still doing my exercises.
Hospital this afternoon to get my seroma drained, dont think there is much in it, will let doctor have a look.
Hugs to all
Kerry xxx
Kerry a puppy??? go for it if you think it will make you smile but ive never had a dog and would worry about the hard work. hope the seroma draining went well- that should make your arm feel even better.
kaz - dod you get another note? hope your mom has had a better day today
polly - keep on swimming with the rads!
hugs to everyone else
had a more upbeat day today - booked a bit of time away in devon with the kids for the start of the school hols. pleased they are enthusiastic to go with me. bit of a long drive but i will just have to take it easy. if we want to go, then ive got to drive and that is all there is to it. also got one of the flower beds in the garden weeded n that makes me feel better about the house. Small steps small steps…
claire x
claire
hey all
kerry, get the puppy, they are so loving. . id so miss buster boo. plus it gets me out the house when he wants a walk. lol
how did u get on yest and fab that you have more movement in your arm.
claire, great, and you have york, yoru doing really well
i went docs and said i was tired and that i was trying excersise but find it hard.i also said that i get really offended when people see me and refer to me having BC. i hate it. cant they just stop saying the words. and she said i think you need to go back to work. i think that your not ill and to stop people seeing u that way you need to go back. also i feel boring and she that’s cause i haven’t done anything to talk about each day really. . i got upset and said i dont want to go back yet, and that with mom its a constant reminder of whats going on and that she isn’t well. ect. she agreed that its dragging me down as im not clearly away from the talk of cemo, ect ect . and gave me a note for 2 months. we agreed that i will return to work by November and she has give me this time for me. and to do the things i enjoy, like take the girls to school ect and to also think about re training or get involved with my charity work again. , so i feel happier about that. however i really don’t want to return to that job, but as they have kept it open and payed me holiday pay and bh’s how can i not.
hey all:))))
Claire- tiny steps are good:))) glad you booked devon and the kids are happy to be going:))))
Polly - hope the rads went ok.
Kaz - You have to do whats best for YOU. Can see it from both sides, as an employer (on paper i am!) and a pinkie :))) Its a something i am going to have to get my head round, i will have to return to work at some stage, cant imagine me lasting me very long in the shop, got no patience to deal with the customers. Been thinking about some type of interwebby thing, so i could stay home and not offend anyone:))
Still thinking about the dog thing, already have 3 staffies, so am more than used to the looking after and walking. Would really love one. Ummmmm…
Got seroma drained, only 90 of what ever it is they measure came out, was 140 last week. Mr M taped me back up again, really tight, to squash my dogs ears. Feels like i am wearing a tight belt:)) He told me i can massage my boob with bio oil, so did that last night, bio oil smells lovely:))
Hugs to everyone:))))
Kerry xx
Hi all
Well done Clare on booking Devon. Hope the sun shines and you all have a great time. If it takes a long time to get there because you stop for a break a couple of times it won’t be the end of the world.
Kaz, I can sort-of understand the theory behind what the doc says about if you go back to work then you won’t be so focussed on BC. But what she doesn’t realise is that when you go back it’s difficult to relate to colleagues because they haven’t been through the same thing and their problems seem a bit trivial. And that’s even without all the reminders that your mom’s treatment is bringing. If you don’t want to go back to that job, maybe you could find out more about something you do want to do, so that if you don’t like it when you go back you have all the info you need to move on to something else.
Well yesterday the staff counsellor from work phoned me and wasted an hour of my life going through Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) with me. She seemed to think that my problems with not having had any training on the new IT systems (cos I was off sick when they were intorduced) are imaginary. She said I should not be so negative. I said that I hadn’t started the day feeling negative. I’d had a good weekend including a nice long bike ride (inspired by all Kaz’s exercise)and I went into work thinking it’s a new week I could forget about how horrible Friday had been. But I didn’t get everything done in my short hours day and had to bring work home. I told her I didn’t think bringing work home fitted with a phased return. She was so into her pyschobabble CBT that she didn’t comment on that, she just said I shouldn’t get frustrated and should phone the IT help desk if I can’t do stuff. I won’t be contacting her again! Today was a non-working day and I went and got my hair cut and spent a couple of gift vouchers in Debenhams and M&S. Tomorrow it’s back to work and I’m going to ask other people in the office how to do stuff on the new IT system - too bad if they’re too busy, I’ll keep asking.
pam, i agree, don’t speak to her again, she isnt nice. you did well gong in positive, as i know its hard when u dont know what your doing. ask away at colleagues, im sure they’ll help
kerry, good you got drained and strapped up, lol dont want them dogs ears.
i went up the club an hour ago for a meeting re the chaorty quiz nite, i came out came out and realized id lost my pink zebra pen my mom brought me for my pink breastcancer filofax. . i have searched everywhere, went back to the club and couldnt see it on the floor, or in the room i was in, searched the car and to the door . . . i cant stop crying., sily, but its precious.
Kaz - its not silly if it precious to you. Really hope you find it:))
Pam - CBT lady sounds like she was a PITA :)) Am sure your colleagues will help:)
Some bad news today, my mum had a meeting with the heamatology team that look after my grandma, and they have decided to stop treating her. She has myelodysplastic syndrome, she needs blood transfusions regularly. Have googled, i know, stupid me…really wish i hadnt. They reckon that mo’s will just get sleepier and sleepier and then not wake up and that its going to be a matter of weeks. That’ll be both grandparents gone since i found my lump, very sad. Life is a crappy box of chocolates at the moment.
Kerry xxx
oh kerry that is so sad about your grandma, hugs flying to you ad yours.
Pam - CBT combined with work, scary - she needs to be given a wide berth
have you found your pen Kaz - hope so.
i’m really grappling with my head re work too. i too would rahter not go back to my job - it has been kept open for me but i feel too much has changed for me to feel comfortable going back- how do you just walk back in to a place where you havent seen 99% of the people during the worst year of your lif and just act as if nothing has happened? as ive said before, my friends are at two extremes, those saying “stay off, get your body and mind better” and those asking me “why aren’t you back at work?”
i know i am not well enough to go back and as i work in a school, the earlies would be september anyway but i really want to have some time post school hols to get myself “sorted” before i attempt to go back to work. i guess i will have the dreaded first mammogram in september if it follows that they do it 12 months post diagnosis. i cant imagine being at work on the run up to it and whilst i am waiting for results.
luv to all
claire
Hi all:))))
Thank you claire:) Its me being a drama queen, me and mo’s have been through so much together. I know its the best thing for her, we all know how much it hurts hunting for veins, all hers are rubbish,how do you explain it to an old lady who isnt with it? She said after her last stroke that she didnt want to be here anymore, she is 83. Just sad, but at least she wont suffer or be aware. Not going to google anymore, too many similarities.
Upset today, lots of race for life stuff going on because its here on sunday, whilst i am hugely grateful for any bc charity, its all too new, too raw and just too much for me to deal with. Its less than 9 months that i found out, had chemo and then surgery and now tamox. Way too much to get my head round. Scarlett would like to do it next year, so will make an effort then.
Has anyone on tamox had periody type pains?? Had it about a week now, thought it was a period, but nothing going on.
Hugs to all you lovely ladies.
kerry x