Hope my tap dance was ok, not easy with four feet you know…especially when two of them are broom handles. I thought I might glue a sparkly diamanté to my tooth, so that when I spit the lights can glint off it with a ‘ting!’ just like in the magazines. Whaddya think?
First found my lump this time last year…who’d have thought that 12 months later I’d be enjoying silliness again… Thanks Benchies x
Oh just WONDERFUL!!!
I know we were a few cast down, but this being BENCHLAND, everyone else doubled up, so Revcat and Vercors and anyone else wto was ‘poorly’ don’t worry - this is the joy of Benchland, we CAN have miracles.
Gareth sent his apologies, which was probably a good thing, as the singing (loose description) wasn’t QUITE up to standard, but we’ve plenty of rehearsal time to get it all right. Then Gareth will be thrilled to bits with your efforts. We still need Carol Sheets for the audience to join in…
I’m a bit concerned that we may have lost the spider… or did he just rush off to explore for a bit???
The set, lighting, seating, bar etc are coming along a treat -it’s all lovely. Don’t forget the cake servery please.
Animal cast members are SUPERB, mainly cos they don’t have to learn any lines. Millie is thrilled to bits to be working with ‘professionals’ - nothing so exciting has ever happened to her!!! I did point out that Mammy is (semi) professional but just got an old fashioned look in reply… hmmm.
All promised props were brought along - could you please leave them in the Lost Plottery Shed for the duration so we know where they are.
Those who could bring their costumes - WELL DONE - and I’m sure everyone else will reach the same high standard eventually (oh please, please, please) If you are having problems please consult our virtual sempstresses for advice etc. You can have as much glitter as you want!!
The escalators are causing a few problems - perhaps the generator could be disconnected until everyone has got the hang of stairs etc???
Don’t get in a stew about lines - as long as we follow the story approximately, everyone can ad-lib like the Landlord: the audience will have the ‘proper’ story in their programmes.
The alligators don’t appear too upset at their temporary home in the cages/compound (but do we care???) so well done wranglers. I’m sure there will be lots of guilt/ranting/ impatience donated to keep them fed until the panto finishes.
The only bit where I can see a problem is the 3 wise wimmin fighting over who sits on which camel - now please ladies, a little decorum if you can. The tussle to grab JCJ’s OH was frankly disgraceful and a most unsavoury sight. And the poor chap won’t even know it happened, it being virtual! I had to pour another glass of glitterberry juice to get over the shock. Thank goodness he isn’t allowed to wear speedos…
Everyone can now tootle off to the bar (same as last time - as much as you like, it’s all virtual and so are the bills) and have a satisfied glow (sorry) for how well it went.
Rehearsals Weds and Fridays if that’s OK - don’t worry if you miss one, you’ll soon catch up - then we do the panto the Friday before Christmas if everyone can make it. Do let me know if that’s not possible as we can change the date to suit ourselves. Friday will FULL REHEARSAL OF ACT I with costumes and props wherever possible.
grumpy ( and VERY relieved…)
PS Millie has got a new warm mac for Christmas, bright purple, but don’t tell her, it’s a surprise!!!
sooo relieved… but very tired now, after all that… camels are not all they’re cracked up to be… bit humpy!
zzzzzz
Dear Dame Grumpy,
how fabulous last night’s shenanigins, it’ll be alright on the night as they say!
Had a small problem with sitting on the donkey and then going up and down the escalators, thought I was free falling for a moment, soooooooooooo can I please be tied to the chair on said donkey’s back can perhaps make a dance out of the untying on getting near the stable.
Tummy protrusion is better than expected as when trying on a large coat yesterday couldn’t fasten it up, also taking my ART seriously. Bit of a boo hoo there but must soldier on, stiff upper lip and all that (soldier’s part).
Also felt a little uncomfortable regarding the “chase” of JCJ’s other half, when he tried to escape into the alligator cages, you knew things were going a little bit too far…
Benchland “luvvies” this is going to be the best ever going by last night’s performance xx
It’s okay everyone - I found the spider in the woods half buried under some leaves. I think one of the dogs must have run off with it and tried to hide it. Anyway, its safe inside my tent in the woods until needed. You all have to remember that inanimate objects can come alive in this magical virtual world - so I do expect my home made spider to transform from black dogpoo bags into a real arachnid in time for the full dress rehearsals.
The thought of ‘wimin’ fighting over my OH - and him being able to run - anywhere, never mind into alligator cages, has had me laughing for the last 5 minutes; (and not just because he broke his leg badly in February!) Definitely a virtual world - especially if Dame Grumpy thinks the adition of speedos would have made the chase situation worse! I think not, WE’D be running for the hills and the alligators would probably be hiding! (But don’t tell him I said that! 
)
I have quite a backache today - must have been trying to negotiate those pesky escalators with both Mummy and protrusion on board - AND a chair! Next time I’ll try to remember to take off the Chillow soldier jacket BEFORE I come on as the donkey - got a bit hot and bothered and confused about the dancing!
Evening fellow thespians…doesn’t that sound grand!!!..ST…I hope that spider isn’t going to take on Harry Potter arachnid proportions…it looked really big on the bonnet of your car!!..well…have had quite a day…following glowing in the sky last evening for our splendid performance…I got up this morning to my own winterwonderland…all frozen…white…sparkly and very beautiful…spent the day doing my fave thing…in company of my beloved grandchild…he’s poorly so I could cuddle him all I liked today…usually can’t get near him…not cool for nanna cuddles at 4 nearly 5!!!..this time last year I had dark thoughts of not seeing Xmas 2012 so all in all it’s been a lovely day…going to collapse now in tamoxifen heat…at least I’m not so cold this year!!!
Hello thespians, I have been lurking in the woods for the last few weeks and can’t tell you how much I enjoy all your posts, lightens up my day, and makes my sides split with laughter. Have been on the f***** furious bench most of the time, having got breast cancer again after five years and one day (some bugger’s having a laugh and it’s not me!) but while quietly sitting last night couldn’t help but be drawn by the strangest noise, the unusual combination of cackles OH on his bagpipes and the ribbit ribbit of the frog chorus, truly unique, you definitely don’t do things by half!
If you have any spare back stage tasks that need doing, and don’t even mind hoovering up all the glitter and the cake crumbs (it is definately a virtual world isnt it?) would be happy to offer my services, if not will definitely be booking a front row seat on opening night, can’t wait!
Wasn’t sure if you are still planning on skating on the lake but may I suggest a quick method to freeze over would be to take all the absolutely flaming useless cold cap machines and chuck them in!
Twinksmum - yes of course there are still things that need doing!!! Perhaps you could be ASM (assistant stage manager) who has the thankless job of getting all cast on stage on cue. This will be easy with the animals who are well trained, it’s the humans who will be difficult, so feel free to grab cake out of their hands and give them a good shove.
Thanks for volunteering.
grumpy (aka The Dame)
Welcome to twinksmum, you picked the right time to join in as there’s loads and loads to do 
!
Got my elbow crutches yesterday yahoo, so have been practising using them am totally exhausted now soooooooo am off to the “quiet” bench before all the commotion starts, I mean the rehearsals.
See you later xx
It’s FRIDAY!! 
I thought of you lot last night at the swimming pool. One of the (better looking!) life guards was walking around in just his shorts! It’s a good job the wimin were all safely in Benchland! Not that there were any alligators in the pool.
Mammoth mince pie manufacture will commence tomorrow - made with my home-made mincemeat, which has LOADS of brandy in it! HIC! So I’ll bring some to the next rehearsal.
Well this shepherd is now back to health after Wednesday’s very scary scare! Ten knitted sheep delivered to local shops/cafes ready for the trail to start tomorrow, and back to rehearsing for the Benchland Nativity Panto. Icy in Glasgow today, so good practice for the skating. Such fun. Looking forward to noshing those mincepies… yum yum yum!
Sooo relieved you’re feeling better RC shepherd (definitely NOT ar**y shepherd! :)) That must have been very frightening. Glad they sorted you out!
I have dragged a small bench next to the FFurious bench as it has a similar name. It is the FMiserable bench and only I’m allowed on it! Also been firmly on the CBA bench. Honestly, I have never felt like this in my life and it’s been three days! I am blaming the Ta’poxy’fen brand change ( now on Relon) to the point where I am thinking of coming off them to see. It’s got to be them - this is not me!! Hope I can get back on Teva next month but not holding my breath.
Right, thanks for letting me get that off my chest. I will try to do my best at rehearsal and promise not chase any OH’s again…although I don’t remember doing so.
Glad you’re better RevCat, my sheep production has come to a halt as CBA.
Hugs FF. 
I had no real probs on Generics or Wockhart, so if Teva in short supply (which I read on here somewhere!) maybe your chemist/pharmacy can get you one of those?
I start Relon next Tuesday. Can’t say I’m looking forward to it as nobody seems to have a good word for that brand!
Just think how many of us must be on Tamoxifen - so many new dx all the time (and yes, I know, some are Er-ve - but even so…) and we take them for five years. The drug companies must be having a field day!!
Thank for the hugs JCJ. Much needed! I hope you are ok on Relon.
It occurred to me after posting that maybe I was feeling better, as yesterday I couldn’t be bothered at all. Will wait and see and possibly request something else next month. My pharmacist is wonderful and actually understands that different brands give different side effects.
Yes, drug companies are having a field day. 1,000’s of women must be on ta’poxy’fen (can’t call it anything else)!!!
Someone on here put a link to the ‘Yellow Card Scheme’ that you can use to report SEs of drugs. Maybe we all need to report Revlon if it’s causing problems - ooops I mean Relon - not the make-up people! Perhaps you’ll be OK now - Maybe your body just had to get used to it?
Let me see if I can find that website… ah here it is. I favourited it ‘just in case’ - kind of insurance policy - haven’t needed it…YET
You can click on ‘downloadable information’ to get a reporting form. Maybe RevCat needs to do it for her nasty experience too?
Phew ! Made it, sorry I missed rehearsals on Weds, moved house on Tues, (no, not literally, I am not quite Superwoman - I moved from one house to another…) which entailed moving the contents of two 4 bed room houses (most of which was in storage) into one small two bedroom cottage 
. Still up to the top of my cold, bald head in boxes and bubble wrap. When not unpacking have been sat on the Really P…d Off bench as our new bed is not beiung delivered until next Tues, so I am sleeping alone on a single bed upstairs while OH sleeps on the sofa… not a good start to a new home. Our housemate (MIL) DIDNT LIKE THE NEW HOUSE WHEN SHE SAW IT FOR THE FIRST TIME ON TUES… EEEEK but seems to be coming round to the amazing views we have and all the ickle bunny wabbits around here :).
Glad you are OK now RevCat, and FF hope you feel on better form soon, and congrats Caroline60. Sorry if I’ve missed anyone who had big news but I just had to catch up on 5 days posts.
Soo. excited about panto, is going to be such fun, LUUURVE all the new carols.
Do you like my Inn-Keepers Fez? Certainly keeps the top of my head warm, and one of my fancy scarves I bought last year makes a brilliant sash round my big fat belly (-just ties up-).
When can we retire to the JM for post Rehearsal livations…
Welcome to the Madhouse, Twinksmum! Lovely to have you join us… and glad we’ve made you laugh… it’s great medicine!
I just keeps singing…
Hark the Donkeys falling down
Glory to the little lambs…
Away in a benchland
no sani-ty reigns
the wimin are barmy
no hope for the sane…s
ooops! Keep forgetting my lines 
time for coffee and bacon butties inthe JM… and a walk in the crisp woods witht he real Soddit (aka Cuddy)
see you’s all later…
love and hugs
Jane
Mince pie anyone? Yay! I managed to put the picture in.
