Posts in wrong order again. I haven’t COMPLETELY lost those marbles … again!
PS Had a wry smile today. 5 year old drew a picture of a camel in ‘choosing time’. She added 3 humps, a thick blanket and some glitter. Has she been reading something she shouldn’t?? 
Tried to post this last night in reply to Katytc but it wouldn’t let me! Still on screen when I turned conputer back on now (21 hours later!)! Wonder if it will post this time?!
You can dry my costume while you’re at it! Wouldn’t YOU be in a mood if you had to carry someone AND half the Benchland furniture and lake, whilst negotiating ice - especially if that someone was throwing water at you! I didn’t ‘buck’ as you so rudely suggested, but slipped. I TOLD everyone I was useless on ice and would be on my ass the whole time. You were warned!
Stew for dinner was delicious though - even if I do say so myself! Had to decline OH’s offer of bolognaise. I’d spent TWO days looking forward to stew! He can freeze the bol! Fortunately, he’s taken it well, as he likes my stew too!
See Kay, I’m not TOTALLY nuts! That’s why I read “sew hems” as “stew hems” or hams even?
Right! Going to force myself to drag body out into the cold and go for a swim (NOT outside, I hasten to add!! I’m not flushing THAT hot!!) Can’t go for at least the next 2 weeks due to Chriatmas festivities, so must get motivated despite the freezing temps!
Right, Shepherd number whatever number it is reporting for rehearsal… wher eis everyone? Surely you haven’t ALL sneaked off to the JM over in the Woods… Pukey will be so disappointed, she is doing her best black sheep impression and practising bleating instead of mewing… 
Now then… flushing soldiers rehearsal, back to full wattage on the beacon face and waterfall brow… la di da da oh the grand old flushing troops… 
And ice-skating… practised that for real on a slope in Glasgow city centre yesterday only to discover my behind was not as padded as I thought… 
Bestest wishes to anyone who’s a bit wibbly wobbly or under the weather.
“Look at that spider in the sky” … “LOOK at that spider in the sky…” “Look at THAT spider in the sky…” “Look at that SPIDER in the sky…” Where is the emphasis meant to be? Dame Grumpy help!
DUCKS??? Is someone taking the p***??? I can’t cope with this!!! (Hope Mrs Clunk is sorted and hanging on in there, by the way)
LAST NIGHT - well, wanted to give the Very Important Director Person’s Pre-Rehearsal pep-talk… and what happened???Where’s it all gone? Why can’t I log on? Has Benchland gone bust? Is it due to the Chancellor’s pre-autumn statement? Did Bruno bribe the Techies under the Stairs? Was it cos I was using my (new, and there incompletely understood) Kindle and didn’t know how to make it work?
BTW these damn devices are ‘intelligent’ and remember what you did the last time you logged on and put you there again…,. no, I want kit that does what I tell it it to do, not what it thinks I might want to do!!!
MEGA-PANIC… have we lost the Panto? All that hard work gone down the whatsit…MORE PANIC followed by glitterberry juice, not a good idea!!!
But it’s OK now (wipes sweat from brow and goes weak at knees) so please be patient at rehearsal tonight for Act II. Grumpy may well do some SHOUTING but it’s nothing to worry about, just cumulation of pre-production aggravation!
grumpy (and absolutely cream-crackered)
PS new year resolution - SAY NO!!!
PPS Millie had a lovely afternoon with Auntie Karen (tit-bits) and Uncle Brian (plays games on hands and knees) and can’t understand what all the panto fuss is about. However she does think Pukey should speak to the Union about being given such a naff stage-name. Hepzibah or Cleopatra would be much more appropriate.
PPPS new ( as in new second-hand) campervan on order. It has a REAL bed, and Webasco heating and winter tyres and 4WD and all the other bits. This is my prize for reaching the land of NED. Beware - I shall be doing a round Britain trip next year and your home town may be on the itinerary…
Revcat - as a vicar-type person you are supposed to know that it’s a STAR in the sky, not a flipping spider!!!
Why, oh why, am I surrounded by a bunch of incompetent, if lovely and well-meaning, people.
I can feel an attack of luvvie-itis coming on…
The Dame
Glad the frog is hidding in the box at the back of the stage, I don’t have to look at the shouting Dame. Anyway You only get what you pay for. Still waiting for my contract to be signed.
I couldn’t get on here last night either, thought it was just me but apparently not!!! A campervan, lovely! Visit me!!
Right, humppillow on, tick. Skates on feet, tick. Skates on broomsticks, broomsticks inserted into arms of camel coloured jumper for front legs. Tick. Bells on skates, tick. Lots of glitter, tick. false eyelashes, tick. Leg warmers…leg warmers…who’s had my Fame stylee leg warmers??? Gottem…hang on , can’t get them on over my skates. Damn. Undress, start again. Ok…Hump pillow, tick…I’ll be there in a bit…
Paid?? Contract?? Are you taking the P***?
Hope your rear end is not too sore RC. I know, from experience how landing on ones behind (how genteel?!) can be flippin painful.
DG you are welcome to visit my madhouse (literally, or in a nearby tea/coffee/alcohol imbibing venue!) on your journey round the country, if you find yourself anywhere near.
Hi Ho! Hi ho! It’s off to work we go… oh Sh*t! Wrong panto. Where’s my words? Oh I’m a donkey - don’t have any words. Off with the dwarf hat, on with the donkey costume. Come on katy - hop on - CAREFULLY. I’ve got my spikes on my skates today so I shouldn’t slip ov…ER Ouch! STOP spraying me with that water!
I am serious, just trying to start a riot on ice. could be fun!
Ok!!! All costumed up, am I on yet? Am I, am I ??? Am I on soon? Am I on now??? Oooooh so excited
Sorry I’m a bit late, only just got rid of unexpected visitor…I mean she’s only just left. I did consider telling her I was due at a panto rehearsal but the thought of explaining Benchland made me not bother.
Costume on, skates on, I’m all ready. Ali I have remembered not to try to pick you up tonight - hopefully we’ll be better.
Wheeeeeeee! C’mon Foxy, time for our grand entrance!!! Yikes, I’ve forgotten who’s camel #3…? JCJ can you look like a camel please if we’re one short?
Ali, the 3rd camel is my OH because he got the hump the other night. He doesn’t know though, so he’s only virtually here! I’ve no intention of looking like him either!
Well that’s ok JCJ, I’ve just had an attack of the munchies and after a huge bowl of summer fruits with yogurt I could pass easily as two camels… Oops am in bad books, was reading the forum and only half listening to OH, who said did I want to go Christmas shopping tomorrow? Yes please, would love a new party dress… He said " I meant to buy presents for other people…" ah. Ok. No party dress then???
Wheeeeeeeee I love skating on here! Can’t do it in real life
Moooooooo, moooo, mooo - have I come in on cue? I have been trying to keep the hay clean for the baby, when do mum and dad arrive and how soon after that can we expect the vey important baby and all the rest of the cast in the stable … I will have to make sure that there is enough room to fit them all in without squashing the spider!
I’ve been trying to time mummy’s contractions cause that’s what they do on the tele, but it’s not easy cause camels don’t wear watches…so I don’t know how long before V I B will be here. And can I just say that, under the circumstances, placing bets on wether it will be a boy or a girl is somewhat redundant? As is betting on choice of name? Now, come on…who’s put a fiver on ‘baby girl , name Chardonnay’ ??? Have you not read the script???
I wish I could post faster!
Summer fruits and yogurt…I understand fruits and yogurt (yummy) but, please, what is summer? For the last few years all we get here are the seasons Cold, Rainy,Dry and Little Bit Warmer which seem to alternate every few days.
Forget other people, buy that party dress!
I cant cope with this…it’s madness!!!
I will do Direcrtor’s comments on Saturday …
I need sleep!!!
love to all
grumpy