My posts are out of order. Madness indeed.
Dame Grumpy, we did try. Or we were trying …open to interpretation there.
Sorry Grumpy. Sleep tight. For what it’s worth I think it’s going really well, it’s worth getting all the exuberance out of the way now so that we can do you proud with a nice, respectful performance on the night. Whenever that is?
My grandparents were hugely involved with our local church and school, helping to fundraise to build in the first place and then with all sorts of work after that. My Granma passed away from cancer last summer, and this Christmas the family have bought a beautiful nativity set (from Lourdes, sent Dad down in his caravan to fetch it!) in memory of them and my uncle (cancer, 10 years ago). Anyway, it’s all set up in church now, with Mary and Joseph being moved down the aisle a little bit more every week to the stable at the front, and on the other side of church the shepherd and his lambs have started their journey too. Sadly the set doesnt include a camel, so I’m enjoying being a camel on here 
Party dress…so, thanks to BC I have a pert and perky implant on one side, three rads tattoos and an underarm SNB scar. I cant decide if i want a frock that hides all that, or shows it proudly off. Well, maybe not all 3 tittoos at the same time… And, only having one button on my vest now, I need to decide - blu tack a fruit pastille on blank side, or get one of those nipple petal cover thingies for the other??? Or maybe just keep my cardi on…
Grumpy, I’m so sorry about last night, I tried to get the ducks out but they were only interested in frog hunting. I finally got them back in the van and crept back in for the rehearsal but overheard Ali H talking about broomsticks, then I misheard the “broomsticks inserted into camels arms”, followed by JCJ saying “Hope your rear end is not too sore” and I just corpsed. I know it wasn’t very professional but I couldn’t look a camel in the face without wondering what was inserted into the other end…
I’d better get on with wringing the sheep out and getting them dried out. But I just thought I would mention to certain actors that that a hip flask stuffed down the tights still shows as a rather distinctive bulge whereas, should I be observed unscrewing the head of my crook and tipping something in my mouth, it is purely medicinal.
Break a leg,
3<sup>rd</sup> Shepherd
(the one with the roguishly handsome beard)
OMG I love this thread! Speechless with laughter.
Me too! Was hopping around hoping for some sewing or electrical action, but would have been laughing too hard to do anything sensible.
good day all!
kay x
What a lovely thread this is…a tonic for everyone…couldn’t stop laughing…if you heard a quiet thud…it was me…gently glowing in the corner…minding my own business…watching all the madness occur…then fell over coz I couldn’t contain my laughter anymore!!!..thanks everyone…
Please all forgive my hysterical laughter and apologies if it put anybody off but couldn’t for the life of me hold it in this thread makes my day xxxx
Well, if I do say so myself, those acting lessons I had in London (when I wasn’t visiting with friends, eating out, and shopping!!!) really seem to have made a difference to my role as Daddy!!! I’m sure Dame Grumpy will agree that I’ve brought a whole new sensitivity to the role. It WAS unfortunate (and unpleasant) when I tripped over that pile of sweaters on the stage and knocked the camel down the escalator (maybe THAT wasn’t such a good idea…), but no harm done!!! I will have shortened those bells a bit before next rehearsal.
On an up side–I think we are all doing quite well on the carols, there were only one or two wrong notes, and the shepherds, when they weren’t horsing around, seemed to have a real good grasp of their lines. Mummy was triumphant, in my opinion, but I am sorry that you could HEAR the camel groaning under the weight–she is pregnant, ladies, NOT overweight.
I bought some amaretti in London, they are in a big bowl next to the stage, help yourselves. Now to get a weeks worth of what should have been done while I was out playing, including a HUGE pile of laundry. : ( Oh well.
Fa-la-la-la-la la la la la.
Kaytee, I think there is an acting part for you that seems to be unfilled as yet! We have Clunk as third-shepherd and I am Shepherd number-rather-large but no FIRST SHEPHERD if I recall correctly. So this must be the part for you. I am sure 1st Shepherd is allowed lots of electrics and whiz-bang stuff… you could have fairy lights on your crook. Hopefully you are less mypoic than I, and will not confuse the SPIDER with the STAR, though in my defecne there is a spider nebula I believe…
Seem to have recovered from slip-sliding on Glasgow ice, except that I have a stiff reconstructed boob! My recon was LD so back muscle in front… and as I fell I instinctively put out my affected arm to stop me cracking my head as I landed. Two days later and the boob is a bit ouchy where the muscle tried to do whatever it tried to do! amazingly no sign of Lynn Fodema, phew.
Definitely new frocks over gifts - hope you find one you love and enjoy wearing it. I suspect nipple tassles might be more fun than fruit pastilles and blu-tak… Not that I would know about such things, obviously!!
Out shortly to paint animals for church nativity. Lovely story of the Lourdes nativity - sounds beautiful, and a fitting way to remember absent loved ones. Our scene builds slowly too - last week just Mary and Angel, this week M&J will start their journey with a lying down donkey!! Right best dig out hte paint… and the GLITTER! it’s OK I have to clean up the mess afterwards
WILL EVERYONE STOP CALLING ME A CAMEL! I AM A DONKEY. MUMMY RIDES ON A DONKEY! Even with the rotund mummy, a chair and a growing number of bruises on my back I DO NOT RESEMBLE A CAMEL! 
No wonder Eeyore was always so flaming cross all the time, if people keep confusing camels for asses! Now, camels ON their asses that’s a completely different thing and actually very amusing to watch, (from a donkey’s perspective) especially when they are bumping head first down an escalator, humps akimbo, showering glitter everywhere. Made my day!
Must drag myself away into NEDland - school Christmas fair - sorry ‘Market’ - (Don’t know why it’s suddenly a ‘market’ - it’s been a ‘fair’ every OTHER year!) Think I may have to reward myself for, effectively, WORKING on a Saturday, by having tea from the chippy on my way home!
Grumpy’s very quiet. Do you think she’s VERY cross after last night’s shenanigans?? 
PS I have a KNITTED nativity. Made it years ago when the children were little (and before they became as devoutly atheist as their mother!!) I had to stop getting it out at Christmas (so to speak) when I kept finding the shepherds/sheep/Joseph/donkey in indecent poses and the baby Jesus AWOL - He’d turn up in the MOST obscure places eg INSIDE a chocolate orange! “It’s not Terry’s it’s Jesus’”
It’s upstairs in a wardrobe somewhere - maybe I should find it and resurrect it.
Daddy, yes I do believe the acting lessons have paid off, you were fabuuuuuuuuulous apart from the trip!
It was a little chaotic last night ducks, scabby sheep, camels, spiders, a donkey, and all the jolly thespians, saw Dame Grumpy swigging a few, oh dear hopefully she will only think that she was dreaming…(the Bobby scene again??)
Had a big problem with the skydiving, someone brought a teeny, weeny pair of knickers from the Woods, not much of a parachute?? Sabotage or what?
JCJ, the donkey, I’m still saying you “bucked”!
YD in hospital having her op trying to keep my mind off it all, not working xx
Oh fabulous! Thank you Revcat. Number 1 shepherd! Do I need Dame Grumpys approval?
have i got lines? We just got the fairy lights out, b----r the tree, I’ll keep them for my crook! Ooh and the tinsel for my tool/sewing box.
I am so glad all are taking this seriously. we could be up for a BAFTA!
i’ll go and practice…
kay x
love the nativity scenes that are being brought to life by moving them around. What a lovely idea, always were static back in my day
Puff Pant… it’s a long way from The East! Sorry, am I too late? My camel wouldn’t behave…
actually, I respond to the do do do do, do do do , do etc cause I was watching Skyfall last nigth - brilliant! Can we invite Daniel Craig along Grumpy???
Taking this SERIOUSLY??? Who is??? what a fab laugh
If you want another (and Dame Grumpy, if you want to realise that you have NO problems with the cast) watch this…youtube.com/watch?v=ihQuiyV-lXU
see you in the JM to recover…
J
I’m a little bit worried…do you think Grumpy has packed her bags and run away screaming? We were not that bad were we? I can’t help feeling that maybe the escalator is a bit ambitious for us with ice skates as well,although I only fell down it twice last night…though the last time might have been due to the hip flask.
Thanks Mr. Clunk will hide it more carefully in future.
JCJ - laughed at the thought of your knitted nativity in indecent poses. Much kudos to you for turning out on a Saturday, definitely go to the chippy.
PS. Has anyone found my costume? I’ve lost it. Rather fetching nightie looking affair absolutely covered in glitter.
I was wearing it in the last scene but when I got home - gone. Perhaps the hip flask has interfered with my memory? Talking of hip flask…where’s THAT gone?
Hi Foxyferret, seamstress shepherd no1 here. I have your costume. Have tacked up the hem a bit on one side, looks a bit more Strictly now. Also added a feather trim to disguise hip flask ( hope you not allergic to feathers )
GIJane, am sure Dame Grumpy will go along with inviting Daniel Craig, I mean, who wouldn’t!
JM later. …
Kay x
Kay - thank you so much. Ooh…I’d love to look a bit more Strictly…no, not allergic to feathers, the more the better, I will collect it shortly and am extremely grateful for your additions to it. Sewing is not my forte and it was a bit basic but you’ve made it look beautiful and in my favourite colour too! You are a genius with a needle!
OK here I am, rather frayed round the edges…
Today has been manic due to other jobs - for our local museum, and for our residents association - and putting up the christmas decs. Tree looked moth-eaten so rush trip to garden centre… so now there are two minimal type trees with lights and purple/pink baubles etc ready to bring to the last night party.
Rehearsal was EXCELLENT …WELL DONE EVERYONE. Let’s remember the aim of panto is to have a rattling good time, and blow sticking rigidly to the script. Good job really with you lot.
Time was the animals were the best behaved cast members, now that seems to be slipping!!! If they don’t get themselves sorted THERE WILL BE NO PRESSIES FROM SANTA
next rehearsal will be Wed for act 3, by which time grumpy should have calmed down, and found all her marbles probably in the lost plottery office…
Daniel is MY assistant so you can look not touch!!
Bruno was so glad back to Strictly after his near-breakdown, and has actually said he thinks all the dancing is showing some progress!!!WWOWWWWW
I wondered who that flask belonged to, I found it with the lid off in some leaves along the canal. It’s over in the JM, I left it there after turning up quite late for a drink.
Hooray for the Panto!!! Hooray for DG!!! Glad you’ve been too busy to have a breakdown. I think maybe Daniel’s helping keep you so sweet! We’ll be ready and waiting for the practice on Wed. I need to look at the script again, I can’t remember, quite, what happens!
Feckit thinks Pukey may be the source of all the trouble, he says it definitely ISNT Millie, in whose mouth butter wouldn’t melt.
Been working on a few decorations at home today–it is starting to feel a bit festive here!
Hi all! Been to my Christmas party tonight. Didn’t get a new dress, got a new attitude instead- loved every minute of it, because I kept thinking “I’M ALIVE!” I’ve adopted Bon Jovi’s song ‘it’s my life’ as my theme tune, especially the bit “I dont want to live forever, I just want to live while I’m alive”. Think I might sleep in the gorgeously tacky tiara given as a party gift along with streamers and blowers. In fact, will incorporate it into my camel costume if that’s ok. Night all!!