Hi, a lurker here
Have been following this thread for a couple of months, but cannot always work out which bench is which, think it is a combination of oilseed rape eyes and chemo brain! Hope there’s no oil seed rape in benchland. Can’t believe I had to make so many corrections on so few words - is there a dipstick bench?
Hello Pargayan,
Absolutely no oil seed rape here, ever. It does my eyes in too. So no. None. Nadda. Rien. Nichts.
OH dear, wobbly servers, jumbled up benches… AND I’vebeen away for a few days.
OK, new signs up round Lake Guilt (no fishing, no swimming). New absolutely-not-pink-ever boingy stuff installed under benches. New life belts, rops and bungees in place, as well as lace hankies and a fresh supply of spoon for us all. Everything-bad-free chocs and cakes in the shed.
On the tired-but-happy becnh after a very busy weekend… zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
I found benchland…thought I was lost forever! Such a shame that this new format has us all a bit lost & forlorn. i usually browse with my iPhone but have come online on the big proper computer to put back a profile & upload a photo (me with hair & playing…may thise days return soon). Will be back in bed in a jiffy though to watch the final few frames of snooker (Go Ronnie Go)…had first Tax Friday. Definitely on the CBA benchas energy levels are low & mouth is hideous…only fizzy water tastes good!
Hugs to everyone…postings are definitely down & I miss you all
Twinky x
Oh dear, just back from my hols and very lost, just wandering around trying to find everyone! So I am on the “have no idea what I’m doing or where I’m going” bench 
xx
Norberte did this brilliant summary last year, and I found it, for those who are lost, and to help us put the benches back in the right places. There have been some additions since she wrote this, (like the lake to dump guilt in with No Fishing signs that RevCat keeps sorted) but I hope it makes you smile… Jane…
ok, so juat to recap the benches:
to your right as you come in you’ll find the guilty bench - it’s small,
& there’s a queue so when you’re sitting on it you can feel guilty
about that too
to your left is the long ****ing furious bench - it’s become a circular
bench (with a nice easy gap entrance for those of us who can’t clamber)
but tere’s always plenty of room, & it’s the powerhouse for the
whole bench area, in producing steam which somehow gets turned into
energy
the straight ahead we have the we’re-all-equal bench - as you’ll see
it’s conveniently near the guilty bench so people can hop across from
one to the other any time they feel like they should / shouldn’t be
moanin as much / little as they are, because compared to other people
hey have / haven’t got it better / worse
the just behinf the large circular ****ing furious bench you’ll find the
fat b******s bench - reinforced, obviously - which is conveniently
close to the it’s-my-fault-i-got-cancer bench (queue there as well,
sorry, we’re working on making that one bigger)
the over to your right behind the guilty bench you’ll find the is-it-me?
bench - for hen we’ve been shaafted by the nhs getting it wrong &
somehow always manage to come out thinking it’s out fault or we’re
completely mad
conveniently near that one is the sad bench - it does what it says on the tin
& next to that we have the my-oh’s-a-b****** bench, some of us will
nip on & off that one but if anyone gets glued to it tere’s a
divorce / run away crane available
|& now i feel guilty that i’ve probably forgotten a vital one -
don’t worry, i’m typing this in the queue for the guilty bench - but i
can confirm that each bench has tissues a tissue bin, chocolate,
alcohol, wet wipes & a maagic box with anything else you might need
in it (meat cleaver, pin doll, photo albums …)
hope having a map clarifies things nicley - you’ll notice that large
empty area to your far left where there’s room for growth, &
electric scooters / buggies are available for travelling around the site
pl note that us disabled people can’t jump the queue for the guilty
bench - that’d be depriving others of something else to feel guilty
about, which isn’t fair play
Hi all think i like these benches can i join, sad, angry,annoyed, guilty, diffrent days bring diff emotions.somewhere to off load on an equal path. xxx
Thanks for the guide to all the benches Jane.
Is there a “pretending its not happening” bench? This is where I am at the moment - only diagnosed a couple of weeks ago and waiting for treatment to start and finding all this “I have cancer” stuff weird beyond comprehension because I have never had any illness worse than the usual flu / food poisoning for the last 40 years. Its especially strange to be told you have a serious illness when you have hardly any physical symptoms (IBC so some pain but manageable with standard painkillers and offending boob ripping through bra’s like the Incredible Hulk!). Its like its happening to someone else, in fact late last week was the first time since dx I was able to walk into a hospital without thinking I was there to visit someone who had just had an operation or treatment.
In fact I don’t think this is a bench at all, it looks just like my desk at work with computer, keyboard, monitor, phone etc. And I’m an engineer so hard hat, drawings etc kicking around there too!
Squeakymouse xx
Squeakymouse: Love your profile pic! There is a denial bench - we’ve all been there! It has a large sandpit next to it - (it’s full of buried heads - bodies still attached! 
) I find myself lying on Rads bench and it’s as if I’m watching someone else - it’s not really me! I know what you mean about not being ill - I had not had a single day of sick in last 6 years and now it’s been more than 3 months. It’s not me at all! Why is there sand in my hair? 
okay now on the “totally dopey” bench, will have to concentrate and pay attention to the changes, going to chip shop for tea, yummy yummy, wish I could use the beam mat. Jane I laughed and laughed when I first saw norberte’s benches, sooooooooooo funny xx
Ladies I’ve cracked it - just save this thread to your Favourites and it comes up every time!!!
And I can start a new para now - press shift and enter and lo and behold a new para starts… oh bliss!!
Up here in the Lake District we have had ‘weather’ - rain, winds (!!!) and hail, but today was mild and sunny in patches so been in the garden. All spare daffs have been lifted ready to plant in Benchland in autumn to cheer us up next spring.Spuds earthed up, beans and peas almost coming through and 2 types of salad leaves planted. If someone has got their toms in, we could have lovely homegrown salads with the Benchland Barbeque in summer. Yummie.
Support Group of One Rita coming next Sunday for a week, so it will be Girltalk (alcohol and bedsox in front of the fire - yes I know it’s May but this is oop north!) big walks, the pub, visiting various friends, and Rita’s Birthday Lunch cos the BBC won’t give her early retirement yet cos she’s too good at her job. We are thinking of somewhere posh so I can put on a FROCK - Gok Wan would despair of me…
Jane thank you so much for the map of benches: could we have a Drama Bench to discuss which play we want to have for the Summer Barbeque? I did think we could do Cat on a Hot Tin Roof cos it’s all about rampant and misdirected hormones.
Love to all the Benchland Ladies
grumpy aka Marj
grumpy, where do you find your favourites??
Top right hand corner of your screen there will be 3 icons - a little house for homepage (google) a star for favourites, and a cogwheel for tools. Click on the star, then click on add to favourites - job done.
Big Walk today … doggies all excited-ish as long as there’s no ‘up’
grumpy
Hi Grumpy… I think that’s on the browser toolbar not the forum page? I am on Firefox and have the little house and the star but no cog. It’s certianly one way to bookmark the pages, but hopefully in time we will be able to do it internally to the site. (Or am I being uber stoopid?)
On the weary and achey bench today… life is good but I am tired and ready for my hols…
grumpy thank you for the tip!
I thought you meant on BCC site so was all excited 
! Really missing “latest posts” quick way to catch up and see new things etc.
Weaning my way off the “dopey” bench and making my way to the “i’m really freezing” bench, it’s soooooo cold,
RevCat have a wonderful holiday and hope your pain calms down a bit!
Take care all BENCHLANDERS xx
I think that’s what Mike-the-Moderator said early on - that we should save threads to our Internet doodah favourites. Yesterday I created a new folder marked BCC forums, and that works, though it’s not as good as it was before, so, shove up on the grumpy bench!
RevCat have a great holiday - when/where?
I was out for a meal with the family (rare event to have us all together) last night and there was another BCC lady!! (We’ve met a couple of times for coffee), but how weird is that? She was out with HER (grownup) family.
Had a fab day off yesterday, so I feel more human, work today, then another day off tomorrow and this weekend I’m NOT on call! Yay!
Hope you’re not all TOO lost…
Jane xx
Yippeeeeeee!!! Site seems to be so much better and thank goodness faster, away to happily skip around Benchland, tra la la ing !! xx
Skippety hop, tral-la-la-la-la me too Katy! As skippety hop as defunct joints will allow anyway!
Thank you lovely techy people for mending the site - woohoo it works again. Now put the old server in Katy’s transmat beam and send it to be recycled. Help yourselves to some of our scrummy snacks and take a rest on the cream-crackered bench!!
I’m not skipping! On grumpy bench. Can’t post to site now. Word verification throws me out every time. Too tired to have patience with it!
Will be a miracle if this posts!
Well! ****** me! It did - at 5th attempt. 
Now on 7th attempt for this post! 
This is the pits!
12!
Hmmm JCJ it’s doing it to me now too… so it’s nothing personal… Maybe if I use my bestest thwacking ladle on the verification code…