Comfy mattress and blankets for RevCat, breakfast will be delivered shortly. Small shower room near the shed, costume hanging on the hook! Hope things are ok and damage not too bad, might have been worse if men started to appear from your ceiling!
ST there are still parts available, no auditions needed.
Thank you grumpy, was trying real hard, only fluffed my lines twice and went wrong way when dancing must remember left, left, right, right, right.
Thought the choir sounded wonderful and love the programmes!
FF made a super entrance and lipstick def worked, red booby was supremely red!
Well tonights the night girls, best feet forward and all that, we can do it!
Is the critic incognito???
Itās raining men lalalalalala, twirl, left, left, right, right, left, OH NO, Iāve done it again!! xx
good grief! I pop away for a few days nd when I come back to Benchland there are 118 new posts!!! What busy girlsā¦ I wasnāt goign to read them all (well, I wasnāt going to read any) but I read back one, two, three, four, five, six, totally hooked by what I missed! Is the performance tonight? Iāll be there, cheering, waving spare cardieā¦ or, if you need any help - just let me know.
Like others of you, whenever Iāve mentioned one of the Benchland Adventures (or Dark Dark Woods ones in the āold daysā) those who inhabit my space just looked at me as if I was completely and utterly barking mad. Little do they realiseā¦ this is REAL!!!
love Jane
Welcome to Bench-theatre-Land ST and welcome home GIJ. Come along to our virtually amazing little (little??? HOW DARE YOU??) show tonight. thereās always room for more dwarves, flushers or tone deaf choir members, or if youāre shy you could always be ushers and help with the fast crowds of fans - theyāre the ones suspended from the fans!
Stepping away from virtuality for a second - I actually woke up feeling nervous today about something, then realised it was tonightās show, and that I felt very unprepared! Touch of stomach churning stage fright! So, yes Jane, it is REAL, for some of us clearly too much so!! I had to laugh at myself. 
OH now giving me ālooksā because Iām typing away on the computer at silly oāclock (for us!) on a saturday morning. I canāt tell him we need to be ready for tonight - he doesnāt know heās been volunteered!!
Daughter on her way from Norwich to see us. Sheāll be suprised to see mum in a show tonight!! Itād better be good - donāt want to let the side down along with my hair!! - (sorry chemo ladies - Iāll just have my coffee on the guilty bench??!)
I meant Vast crowds of vans of copurse??! 
And donāt confuse flushers with ushers - although they all may look the same!!
RED ALERT!!! PANIC!!! EMERGENCY!!!
What are the OHs going to wear for the Raining Men sequence??? I did think some nice little black CK boxersā¦ and then I had a second thought and decided on black joggers. Black leggings will do at a pinchā¦
GIJane and supertrooper - yes there are vacancies for dwarves, youāre on in Act I and Act II, so go back to page 54 to get the full story.
ITāS GOING TO BE BRILLIANT!!!
grumpy
Spoons are inā¦
-------0
-------0
------o
------o
------O
------O
~~~~~~ o
~~~~~~ O
\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_) this one is a thwacking ladle
\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_]
\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_}
take your pick, plenty for all
Hope these OHs are going to be decent... I am a maiden lady and don't want to be too shocked by what I see! Will I need to put my hands over Pukey cat's eyes to protect her innocence?
Jane and ST please bring Soddit and B\*ggerit too, we need more dogs!
Oooh, it's going to be soooooooooooooooo good
Thank you Katy for the blankets and mattress, feel much better for a sleep in Benchland.OKā¦been pondering over this since last night and really feel I have to say something, taken my courage pill and here I goā¦
Whose OH thought it appropriate to wear the black speedos to dress rehearsal last night???xx
Sorry katytc - it could have been mine, he got a bit excited and was remembering a video of Geri H doing its raining men. I will make sure he is wearing black jogging bottoms tonight. Hope you have recovered from your funny turn, I did wonder what had set it off but did not want to emabarrass you by asking. Good drying day for your 40 cardis today so they will be nice and fresh.
Revcat I would bring my little pooch but she would cause chaos and might chase the smaller animals into the alligator mouths!! Would hate to have to face Twinky with all the gear she has on her, one of them might hurt if thrown.
Getting nerves now, keep running to the loo in between practising my steps and songs. Never been in a production before, soooooooo exciting. Started the make up in the best showbiz fashion, should be finshed just before 8.
Well, someone has to arrive first and make sure all the boingy stuff is boingy, the fans fanning and the alligators where they belongā¦ All looking good. Lovely fresh flowers arranged in strategic places, all costumes freshly ironed and labelledā¦ please ensure you take the correct cardis, we donāt want the Very Important Director to get grumpy now do we?!
Am slightly concerned about flush synchingā¦ mine have been running ten minutes late all day, so just in case I have concealed one of those clown squirty flower things about my person to spray myself with if neededā¦ no-one will notice Iām sure.
Just having a final run through of the songs, practising my pointy toes and grooming Pukey (who it has to be said look very much the prima donna in her sparkly collar and is going to rest until curtain up so that she is able to perform on cue)
La di da di da, skippety left, left, right right, trip trot splatā¦ oops, ouchā¦ WHO LEFT THAT BUNGEE LYING ACROSS THE STAGE?! OK, I *think* the stage is now ready for actionā¦ just need to steady my nerves with a Benchland Snifter!
Bring it on, as the saying goes 
Whatever Iāve stumbled into sounds like great fun! Break a leg girls! Moondog xx
Thank you moondog, things are getting a bit hectic now, girls you are all looking fab, makeup perfect, audience and fans arriving, animals groomed to perfection, stage looks fairytale type thingy, bar stocked, OHās conservatively attired, Valās patisserie up and running, lights camera and almost action!!!
My hands are shaking soooooooo much, not going to let nerves get the better of me, left left right whatās next???
Can someone please give me a push when the curtain rises? Not too hard as I donāt want to skid in my new pointy shoes, just a gentle shove.
Itās nearly timeā¦ if you think Iām getting hysterical at any point feel free to slap me, must calm down, must calm down xx
Oh dear, only just arrived , a bit out of breath but at least Iām here before curtain up! Dopey I may be but I have got to at least try to be professional. Good luck everyone, I see the audience are gathering (mostly at the bar as yet but I am sure that they will sit down once the action starts.
Thanks for the spoons Revcat, much needed.
Iām sooooooo nervous I couldnāt eat tea, will make up for this later Iāll be the one eating all the cream cakes!
Can I just askā¦ is it possible to tone down the explosions just a tad? They scare the Hairless Cat and itās taken absolute ages to cover all the claw marks with make up.
Right, boobie make up on - broomstick ready - long black slinky dress artfully arranged. Where is the Hairless Cat?..Whereās the Cat?.. Whereās the Cat?.. I CANāT FIND THE FLIPPINā CAT!!!Ohhhhhh, there he is,Iāve got him. What a relief. Now Iām all ready and raring to go!
FF, glad I managed to chase him back to you. Unfortunately he had to have a bit of a clean-up first, having brought in a dead mouse earlier, for luck, of course.
Right, just about my time to enter (stage right). Iāve put my clipboard down just overā¦ THERE! TWINKS! Phew, thank goodness (thank RevCat) for the boingy stuff, I hope youāre not injured. But that flying entrance onto the stage was pretty spectacular, the dangling audience sounded very impressed.
Erm, which scene are we on?
Thanks CM , nice of him to bring a present. I like presents! Which scene are we on? I have no idea but I think itās going well! The audience are laughing ,so thatās a good sign.
BRILLIANT puking, flushing and dancing! Superb show! Canāt wait to see the reviews in tomorrowās papers!
And what a sunset in the background - just adding to the atmosphere!
Hello everyone !!! remember me??? look at page 1 of this thread if notā¦hey choccie how goes it??? I am getting stronger each day have the worst lymphodeama in my left arm now along with the lymph in my rightā¦I have bad news though not concerning me ā¦my Mum had just been DX with secondries from her BC in 2000!! lymph nodes in neck and chest wall area of ribs and spine and spllenā¦I dont know what to say and of all people with all I have been through you would think I would!! my little girl still crying each night worried I am going to die and she adores Grandmaā¦what a miserable diseaseā¦ now in the waiting room with my Mum trying to be brave and not worry about the pain in my back and the x-ray I have next mondayā¦I hope all is well with the āold gangā lots of love to all Jeanette XXXX
Hello J,
just logged on to leave some flippant comment about how brilliant we all were in the Benchland panto - which we were - and saw your post.
I am so sorry to read your news, and there is nothing really that I can sayā¦ it is just awful news of how this unpredictable and pernicious disease behaves. I really hope that your mum is getting the best possible care and support as she comes to terms with her dx, and that you are all able to spend time together sharing speical moments and making precious memories. I really hope that all goes well with your x-rays and that it turns out to be something benign. I am sure your little girl knows how much you love her, just as you know how miuch your mum loves youā¦ and that will give each of you the strength to face each moment. Big Benchland hug for you, and all good wishes.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I donāt know about you, but humour helps me a lot, so would you allow me to offer you a Benchland tipple in our panto āafter-partyā and you can read the critics reviews of our amazing performance.
Anyone seem Grumpy? Thereās an ENORMOUS bouquet addressed to Very Important Director.
Right, whose is that purple blinged up cardi?
WE WERE SUPERB - JUST AS EXPECTED!!!
Troopers all, people and companion animals, altho Barley in her pink harness felt just a teeny bit upstaged by Revcatās moggie as Pukeyā¦
The audience went wild - what else do we expect in Benchland? - and the Very Important Director Person is all of a dither and nearly in tears with pride! Who would have thought such bonkers wimmin could achieve so much in such a short space of time? It must this BC stuff that gives us a) guts b) lunatic tendencies c) a strange sense of humour and d) most important the ability to say sod off, we donāt care if you think we are crazy!!!
Thank goodness the OHs came up to scratch bless 'em - we KNOW they can do it when they put their minds to itā¦
Now for the PARTY - please ensure that your take the correct companion animal/OH home at midnight: we donāt want to be in Hello next week, that would be cringingly awfulā¦ and could the OHs please change out of costume into jeans or somethingā¦
And yes, Benchland Hangovers ARE virtual, but VIDP is heading for an actual one - oh the relief!!!
Critics in the papers tomorrow - well actually only one. Rita (my support group of one) is a BBC journalist, and has promised a good write-up, which she will send ādown the wireā to all BBC radio/TV stations nationwide, so prepare for global coverage girls and boys.
Directorās Trophy for the Best Contribution will be shared by
The Madonna with the Big Red Booby - best make-up job
Pukey the dwarf - RevCatās moggie - for not letting fame get in the way of āseriousā acting
The Hairless Cat - for not scratching any of the cast
Goodnight Ladies, going for another drink, Rita is providing the Spiced Rum
grumpy
thanks rev cat as you will remember benchland humor kept me sane once I will read and catch up with the show XXXX