stop feeling guilty, small rant (BENCHLAND) (Part 2)

[JCJ]

Ali, I was an TA/HLTA for 22 years, a lot if which was covering classes but everywhere else in a Primary school, rarely in Foundation. I enjoyed most of it but I don’t miss the stressy bits now I’m retired (sorry don’t mean to rub it in: hope you get to retire before too long. x)

Enjoy lunch, Katy.

Had a acary moment yesterday: “Private and Confidential” letter addressed to my first name, so either bank or medical. Then I see it’s from the hospital! What??!! Opened it with the usual thumping heart trepidation. (Nearly 12 years on and it still gives me the heeby jeebies!) It was a copy of the letter sent by neurologist to my Dr saying it’s not CT or neuropathy. No wonder I’ve not heard from Drs! So much for “two weeks”!!? More like two months?!

Then, today, I get another NHS letter. Good grief! This one is an invitation to THE VAN next Friday. I’m actually quite pleased about that because mammo isn’t due until May 2024 but I’m starting to get neurotic about the lumpy bumpy scar tissue/rads damage soreness and my intermittent digestion problems (which are obviously exacerbated by worrying about what they could be!) I need the reassurance if a clear mammo.

I take it as a good omen that the appointment they sent me is at a convenient time in a quiet week. (The recall one was a rearranged one!) Never used to be so superstitious!

Knitting this afto. Another week where the 2nd Tuesday (sewing) and 3rd Friday (K&N) are in the same week. Just to confuse my poor befuddled brain?

[katytc]

Mmmmm so what is it JCJ? Arthur?
Oooh that van will give you piece on mind once it’s done it’s done and not too long a wait to go, your brain won’t have too much time to go super crazy.
Hope you enjoyed your sewing and knitting clubs.
Lunch was good had a baked potato filled with prawns and salad. Always say no butter on potato, no mayo on salad so was nibbling around potato and as I stuck my fork into middle a big puddle of butter arrrgh. Waitress got it right kitchen got it wrong, meal promptly taken away and new meal arrived swiftly thereafter, whew.
Before leaving home waited until 11.30 am to have my shower. Was shampooing my hair when doctor rang arrrgh so typical. Ends up my pics had gone into anothers file, mmmmmm that’s why there was a delay re callback.
So have to moisturise my eyebrow, ok know that’s not going to work, have a bunion at the base of my big toe referred to podiatry, have chemo cream for my hands am pleased about that cause hopefully that will get rid.
Did wander along to ED’s after lunch her ceiling is being sorted today woo hoo.
YD’s door also being fixed today, hurrah.
Researching this morning, festive lunches looking at all the menu’s etc, texted to friend all different places, she mentioned another place I had not looked at. Checked and it sounded better than all the rest so we are booked!! Other friend happy too, thank goodness no more searching. hurrah xx

[JCJ]

Yes, it is probably Arthur. It’s not getting any worse at the moment- some days it’s almost “normal”, although my right little finger is triggering now (right little f***er?! ) - so I’m just going to live with it and see what happens.

Prawns on a jacket spud. Yum!!

Sewing, knitting and ambling all going well. We’re having a K&N Christmas get together light lunch, in a nice little cafe in town, on the week between the knitting weeks. Yay!

I’m in the car outside BIL’s nursing home. Taxied OH up here to visit. I walked into town and had a turkey sandwich, a lemon muffin and a cuppa in a famous coffee place. Not C*** N*** because I didn’t want to risk bumping into other BIL again!!

Last time I was in that C***a, the table wobbled and I spilt coffee EVERYWHERE. Had to feret in my bag for tissues. This time, I avoided that table and sat on the next one. As I put my tray down, I saw my hand was bleeding and it had spread all over both hands! Bit of a Lady Macbeth moment: frantically dabbing with the serviettes and routing in my bag for wipes!! Don’t know what I did: probably caught my hand, just where the veins are prominent, on one of the zips on my bag as I got my purse out to pay. I still have 2 small spots on the back of my hand. Looks like I’ve been bitten by a snake… or a tiny dog. Going to be paranoid going in that cafe again?!

We’ve been here 2 1/2 hours so I’m hoping he’ll come out soon so we can get most of the drive back done before the rush hour.

[JCJ]

Back home. On the K bench. We stopped at a pub for dinner - OH’s way of saying thank you to the taxi driver - about 5 miles from home. Everything on the menu was soooo rich, and my stomach was already playing up after the bloody panic at lunchtime and the stress of driving in the dark, which I dislike more and more as I get older, so I dared only have a salad. It was chargrilled chicken, smoked bacon and avoado with garlic ciabatta (sp?). I asked them to leave off the dressing. Yum. OH’s steak & red wine pie looked amazing! So annoying that I still have to be careful what I eat. The gallbladder op was supposed to fix that!

[Alicat]

Hi jcj,
Sounds like quite a trip! Hope your hand is ok now. I’m enjoying my Thursday day off ( I work Monday, Wednesday and Friday) and doing nothing. Resting is needed now as we’ve just started Christmas performance rehearsals. I’m sure you remember those times!
Ali x

[katytc]

ooh that sounds yummy JCJ, nice to be taken out for dinner!
Ouchy sore hand, is it ok now??
Xmas rehearsals, goodness it is a lot of work Alicat, best resting while you can.
Am going to GD’s nativity this year woo hoo, last one I went to was eldest GD’s didn’t see GS covid times, so looking forward to it. Such a drip but cry at anything like that haha.
Did go through on Mon to YD’s on the 7.45 train, all went like clockwork. We went to a shopping centre, YD had been talking about a bag she liked. She is the worst person in the world to buy for…so asked her to show me. Went into shop and bag was lovely, super expensive, we asked assistant about it and she said for Mon only there was 40% off. Said I would buy her bag for Xmas, delighted daughter, delighted Mother haha. She missed out on a birthday gift because her standard answer is “leave it with me” arrgh and she never gets back to you!
Out for lunch next day, couldn’t actually have a full lunch so just had a scone and coffee. Had to nip into supermarket on way home and bumped into friend I had lunch with on Fri, she had just come from docs found a lump in breast so referred urgently, was so shocked for her, fingers crossed everything will be ok.
Ear appointment next day, at last some movement woo hoo, one more appointment hopefully. Came home and fell asleep, nothing on today thank goodness. Fell asleep again this afternoon was just oh so tired.
Have the thing again thought maybe a cold, it’s not, def an allergy, have sneezed so much today face is hurting, just need to figure out what it is now…xx

[JCJ]

Ah yes, Alicat, how well I remember Christmas production rehearsals! At my first job, a junior school with a perfectionist music teacher, they used to start in early October. Then I changed jobs and was astonished to discover my new school favoured the “flying by the seat of our pants” style of performance: Nobody even knew what we’d be doing until mid November!! Quite a contrast! I used to be more involved with trying to control the bored kids, although, one year, I was in charge of the laptop with all the backing music, sound effects etc. That was traumatic!!

My OH has hated Christmas for years because he was a Primary school music teacher!! It took 15 years of retirement (and hefty Parkinson’s/anxiety meds?) before he was bearable over the festive season!!

Have you changed any soap or your washing powder, Katy? Using any air fresheners? They often have quite allergenic ingredients. Or new carpet? Does taking antihistamine - hay-fever tablets - help?

My mysteriously bloody hand is fine. It never hurt, but I’ve got two tiny red spots still. Weird.

So tired after Tuesday’s trip up North (ish) but I managed to stagger around S*******y’s yesterday to do the 3 week shop. The next one will be the Christmas one! What?! I managed to forget the batteries for my outside fairy lights which I put up on 1st December, even though I put it in capitals on my list. Doh! I’ll have to get some tomorrow after my mammo (which I’m trying not to get wound up about!)

Collected OH’s prescription today. It wasn’t done so I went for a sunny autumn walk in the nearby woods for an hour. When I picked it up, they gave me an IOU for one of his meds. He needs to take it 5 times a day so 140 for the month. They only had 40. Wonderful. She couldn’t even tell me when they’ll have it in but we’ve got quite a few so he’ll be OK for a week or so.

Bored with my blanket, I’ve started knitting little Christmas tree decorations to give to the K&N ladies. Trouble is, I’m not sure how many people will be there on the last week so I’ll have to make at least 12 just in case and I’ll keep any spare… Not that there is any room on my tree for any more decs!

Arrrgghh this ****** thing! Tried to change the autoincorrect of decs and it suddenly posted for no apparent reason. Had to edit. Twice. As it did it again. Grrr. I’m going to bed!

[JCJ]

Sorry, Katy, I meant to say, last night - before this site and/or my tablet annoyed me so much I gave up - worrying news about your friend. I hope her referral comes through quickly and it’s either nothing to worry about or easily treated. Hopefully, she’ll be talking gibberish like us in 12 years time, eh?

Also, I’m envious of you being able to watch GC’s nativities. Bit too far for me to travel to see my GD’s first one this year.

Mammo went OK. Bit ouchy on the mangled side but nothing like as excruciating as previously. Worryingly, I’ve been told the results will be 4 to 6 weeks and the receptionist (wearing a mask, behind a perspex screen, talking quietly with her 2 colleagues behind me chatting and the radio on so I felt like a proper old buddy having to get her to repeat everything 3 times. Not great when I was already anxious?!) where was I? Oh yes: the receptionist asked whether I’d be away or not at the end of December/beginning of January, presumably in case I need to follow up the results? Aggh! One would hope it would be a lot faster than that if they found a problem??!!

Been paranoid, all afternoon, about strange boob soreness (apparently unrelated to being squished by the Mammo machine) and have just realised it’s because, this morning, the only respectable bra, that wasn’t in the wash, was my new uncomfortable one that appears to want to sever my arms. Didn’t think I should wear a tatty old comfy one to be seen by radiographer (radiologist? Never did know which is which) I’m off to get the d*** thing off and put my pjs on. xx

[katytc]

Hope you are comfy now braless woo hoo.
Glad for you it’s done…we will never get over the nervous jitters…
2 spot like marks?? it does sound more like a bite but what could be biting??
My goodness it’s freezing here, literally brrrr.
It’s my washing powder JCJ, bought a new fragrance, same make as I always buy but different smell, has caused me havoc. Did take antihistamines but only made a small difference. Bought 2 because liked the smell hahaha. thank you for suggestions.
Over to nearby shop early this morning, bought cleaning stuff and some odds and ends, did buy shampoo, used later and discovered I’d bought wrong one arrgh, makes hair far too soft. Went into town late afternoon and thought will buy the one I like. It cost £9.00 WHAT??? It’s not a fancy one, why is it suddenly so expensive? Will take me a long time to get over that…
Chemo cream is working well 3rd day and seeing a difference already xx

[JCJ]

£9?!! For a bottle of shampoo??!! At that price, I’d want it to wash my hair FOR me!!

Just “nipped” into town to get some thread so I can finish a sewing project while OH is out tomorrow. The only shop that sells such things was closed (due to a funeral). Grrrrr! Unfortunately, though, OH had decided to come with me so I spent the next hour hanging about waiting for him to dither about… painfully slowly… in various shops. Eventually, I got so cold I went into C****a for tea and cake while I waited for him! Now I have to decide whether to go back to town tomorrow or just sew the pale blue fabric with white thread. Or wait until Friday and try to find a shop that sells it when I go to K&N in the other town.

Hope your chemo cream has now done it’s stuff - without any untoward SEs.

I bought myself some new lycra cycle shorts… for swimming, I hasten to add: wouldn’t be seen dead in them out and about! I wore them on Monday, underneath my costume. Not very flattering, but at least I wasn’t showing an uncomfortable amount of my nether regions, which would otherwise be exposed by my quite high cut cozy. Previously, I’ve been wearing board shorts over my costume but they keep trying to fall down. The difference it made wearing more streamlined shorts! Swimming was so much easier. Only a couple more swims until I reach Flamborough Head. BBQ on the beach to celebrate? We haven’t had a Benchland party for aaaages!

I need a new notebook for my handbag. I’ve been struggling to find one small enough. The old one is nearly full but I don’t use it very often; I tend to save notes on my phone. However, it is handy to have pen and paper sometimes. I found a pack of 5 little books, exactly the same as the one I have, but wouldn’t buy it because I only wanted one, as it will last years. I eventually found a pretty one and bought that. When I was looking through the old book to see if there was anything important in it, before throwing it away, I found the mobile numbers (and BENCHLAND names and real names) of all the MMU1 attendees!! That’s how many years I have had that notebook… And it wasn’t new then!!

Oops! Getting late. Must get off my a*** and cook dinner. Mushroom risotto.

[JCJ]

Couldn’t be bothered to schlep back to town, in the freezing cold, for thread and too impatient to wait so I finished the sewing project with white. Spent all day on the sewing bench because I not only finally finished my tote bag but also made 10 little drawstring bags to put my daft knitted ornaments in: Lucky dip presents for the knitting ladies. At the moment the bags aren’t very festive because they’re plain pale blue. I might sew some sequins on… if I CBA!

Front and back of my sewing tote bag: cross stitch picture and hand sewn patchwork. Definitely unique?! I’m quite proud of it but Esme and Patrick (Great British Sewing Bee) would probably have plenty of criticisms!!

[katytc]

I know still haven’t got over the price, went into usual shop to buy another and they have none left arrrgh.
Hope you managed to acquire your thread and have enjoyed K&N.
Aaah the memories of MMU1…
BBQ would be good as long as we have sparklers, woo hoo!
It is sooooooooooooooo cold here, no snow but everything is frozen outside brrr.
Met up with friend from schooldays this week, was lovely. It’s 55 years since we first attended primary school together, can’t believe it.
Am going to put up tree soon, YD has hers up, ED tomorrow. Wanted a garland for sideboard but they are very expensive and couldn’t really justify for once a year. YD suggested a tinsel type thing instead, saw one last week that was perfect, really thick with red berry baubles, am delighted. Also bought a mushroom that lights up, sparkly and pretty.
Glad your shorts are working well, have a swimsuit with skirt another idea??
Hope there is something left from your chippie tea JCJ xx

[JCJ]

I am still shaking. Can’t calm down. Struggling to type. Just received a letter from Breast Cancer Screening. After only 10 days!! OMG!! I was told it would be 4 to 6 weeks!! Shaking, nearly in tears, I ripped it open (registering that it was too thin to be a recall as they sent more info with THAT letter before). Saw the words “pleased” and “normal”. Oh good grief! TFFT!! Burst into tears. Still shaking.

Out to lunch with a friend today so must get ready…

[katytc]

Aah brilliant news, big hugs to you.
You can now enjoy your lunch…xx

[Alicat]

Great news Jcj!
Ali x

[katytc]

Am at YD’s has rained non stop and it’s now chilly brrrr.
GS received his asd assessment appointment beginning of January, almost 2 years but he is being well looked after at school without official diagnosis.
Have lido on Mon appointment is very early so will leave here sharp so I am organised.
Went out for lunch with cousin it was yummy. She brought a wreath she made, it’s very pretty so will have to buy a hook.
Busy, busy next week lido, haircut, ear and dentist fingers crossed quiet week leading up to Xmas xx

[JCJ]

You have got a busy week ahead, Katy!! Good luck with ALL your appointments!
I’ve just had a nice surprise: I am planning my next knitting project, as I’ve always got to have something lined up. Decided to knit a bag for my knitting as the sewn bag for my sewing was such a success. Looked online for some cotton yarn. I was debating whether I could justify spending on myself this close to Christmas and thought @#$% it! I’ve saved for years to have money in my retirement. Went to the famous payment app to pay and realised most of the train ticket refund is still sitting there waiting to be spent!! Hurrah! Free “wool” and a circular needle. Win. Win.
Cards all finished and written. Tree and decs up. 4 dozen mince pies made - without my support team of YD and GD this year . Gradually getting there.

[katytc]

Woo hoo for free wool and mince pies!!
Am so glad this week is over, Mon-Fri, all appointments went well, ear is finally sorted, has taken 5 months, perseverance from lady and it’s done.
Am now feeling so tired, too many things in the one week, hopefully never again haha.
Both daughters are unwell, nasty bug going around, and YD also has another issue with her wisdom tooth. One GS off school am hiding…
ED asked if I hadn’t already bought something could she please have this bracelet as a gift. Thought that’s great because feel better when it’s a non money gift. So ordered in Nov, have just received this afternoon am so pleased because I was getting worried.
Am hoping nothing happening tomorrow just want a faff around day.
GC coming on Sunday so Mum can wrap presents.
Hope you are off to the chippie tonight, will eat anything haha xx

[JCJ]

I have put extra cushions and snuggly blankets on the CBA bench for you, Katy, an enormous urn of tea and a mountain of cakes, biscuits and chocolates. The k******ed bench is adjoining, as is the So Relieved bench - (which has TFFT engraved on the back.) Take a seat. Put your feet up. Restore the tissues before the madness of Christmas descends next week!

And stay as far away as possible from the family lurgs!!

I’ve had a busy week too (although nothing compared to yours!): Swimming on Monday followed by a quick visit to a couple of shops; Sewing on Tuesday, where we had coffee, mince pies and shortbread - I offered a fellow sewer (and knitter!) a lift as she wouldn’t have been able to go otherwise. No problem but she lives 5 miles away in the opposite direction! OH had a dentist appointment while we were at Sewing so he went in a taxi, went to the library after and I collected him after dropping off my friend. We had lunch in town: hot turkey, stuffing and cranberry baguettes. Yum! On Wednesday, I twanged my back. Just a bit ouchy but not too bad so I downed some ibuprofen (other anti-inflammatory…) and carried on with the 3-week Sainsbury’s (other…) shop, which obviously included negotiating far too many people whilst trying to remember all the Christmas stuff! Thursday, I was going to go swimming, as I’ve only 1km (40 lengths) left to complete the Redcar to Flamborough Head swim, but my back said “NO!” Forced to rest with a hot wheat bag. It’s improving today - just stiff and a bit achey - so I’ve managed to get to the last knitting of the year.

Fish and chips tonight. The walk to get them was a bit of a struggle and no doubt I’ll regret them, tomorrow, as usual, when I’m failing to digest them!! Last week, because I’d been out for lunch on Friday, I put a breaded fish portion and some oven chips in the oven when I went to get his f&c and had them instead. I enjoyed them and did feel better for it, on Saturday: so much less fat, but I couldn’t make myself do that again this week. Friday night f&c has been a tradition for us for sooooo long.

Tomorrow evening, we have a carol concert in the Abbey in our village. One of OH’s library colleagues is in the choir… must remember to take cushions!.. and on Sunday afternoon, he wants to see the Royal Opera house performance of the Nutcracker ballet, filmed live last Tuesday evening and broadcast in our nearest cinema. I’ll drive him there but won’t go in: that cinema is FAR to loud - gives me a headache! I’ll have to find something else to do for 2 hours 50 minutes!!

Next week should be quieter. Just as well as I’ve still got to wrap the presents, make Welsh Cakes, marzipan and ice the cake, deliver the local cards, not to mention cleaning the house ready for the girls. Budge up on the CBA bench, Katy, I’m coming in!

BBQ with fireworks and sparklers on the beach at Flamborough Head at about 3:30pm on Monday as I complete my 100km swim (started March 2022, so it’s taken longer than planned!) before I set off again towards Spurn Point. It’s another 80km so it’ll probably take me until this time next year!! Tiaras, doc martens and ballgowns optional. Paaarty time!

[katytc]

Hope you enjoyed the concert, was a busy week for you too haha.
Where did you go when OH was in the cinema?
Oooh love the new bench so comfy, thank you once again, really appreciate your kindness…
We were out for xmas lunch today, it was fine not spectacular but quite tasty. It was in a hotel bar area and there was hardly anyone there…
It was a very decent price, 3 courses for under £20, where can you get that nowadays??
Friend does have BC again, she will find out this week what the plan is, am keeping my fingers and toes crossed for her.
How is your back doing now?
Only had GC for a short while yesterday they were as high as kites haha.
Both daughters still under the weather, hopefully well soon.
GS is calling me grandma which delights me greatly xx