Fingers and toes crossed for speedy and happy results Ali.
Great news about sleep too, hurrah.
Enjoy your break have a lovely time.
oooh sounds so beautiful JCJ, glad things are going well, fingers and toes also crossed it stays that way.
Hopefully friend can help so some of the pressure is lifted.
Woo hoo scooby/booby doo, they arrived this morning, love them…
Stayed home today, caught up with some stuff, ironing arrgh.
Haircut tomorrow, can hardly see fringe is so long, can’t wait xx
Hurrah for mules arriving! (Shoes, that is, not beasts of burden!
) Glad you like them.
I hope you’re enjoying your lie ins, Ali, and doing a lot of what you want to do…even if that’s nothing. 
Saw kids in uniform, the other day, so they can’t have broken up yet here!
Holiday still going OK. Mostly. I was even thinking I’d book here again but PD reared it’s ugly head today and he’s panicky and tremory. The delayed reaction to losing ES is hitting him too, as I feared it would. Suddenly and repeatedly overcome with emotion, like I was until a couple of weeks ago.
Holidays are a reminder of what he - and therefore we - can no longer do. Most of the time we manage to muddle along making the best of it. Today, I’m yearning to be off on a holiday away from PD - and him! - but the 7am call, in a panic, and then calling me in off the decking this morning makes me wonder how he’d cope overnight on his own. 
Mammo results all good, so breathing a huge sigh of relief and continue with the break.
Glad your mules arrived Katy and they’re as nice as you thought.
Good to hear that your holiday is going ok JCJ, it must be extremely hard for both of you, particularly at the moment. It does take stepping out of routine to show how it really is. I hope you do feel able to get away overnight.
My other half is into all things canal and narrowboats at the moment so we’ve been visiting places along the great union canal. I can’t walk too far so I sit and watch the world go by and read whilst he takes the dog and his camera. Then we have lunch in a canalside pub, they all seem to welcome dogs, a nice day out. If we do that each week of the break , I’ll be happy.
Take care everyone x
Sorry should have said grand union canal, brain is definitely on holiday!
Read what you typed, Ali knew what you meant! 
Hurrah! Yippedy doo dah! for mammo results 
If your OH is into narrow boats he’d LOVE it here. Hundreds of them. Some of them for sale! Also a lovely canalside walk into a village with at least 3 pubs. Lovely lodges to stay in for those of us more civilised. 
Mercia Marina. Near Derby.
Tough start to today but feel a bit better now. Managed to freeze ES’s bank accounts without knowing his account numbers. Brilliant bereavement service by phone. Thank you L***** bank (not the - defunct - chemist of the same name!) That’s one weight off my mind. Have most of the info I need for the other urgent beaurocracy. Nearly there. And breathe…
Aaaah brilliant news Ali, whew!!
Glad boating is going well hahaha.
Hope OH is ok JCJ, it is good for him to be able to grieve, such very difficult time for you both. Hopefully you will have all the details available soon and that paperwork will be completed.
Well, new mules that I love, love, love gave me 2 huge blisters am shedding a tear as I write this hahaha. Am awful with shoes but its usually heels that blister…
While getting haircut hairdresser says to me you have some new hair growth WHAT?? It’s in middle of my head, what’s that all about???
Making me laugh just thinking about it.
Have had a very busy week, so glad it’s Fri, think everything is now done woo hoo xx
New hair growth might be your body suddenly realising there’s no more Tapoxyfen going into it? At least it’s on your head! Unlike me: My new hair growth appears to be mainly on my face and neck!! 
Hope you have had lots of alfresco canalside lunches, Ali, in this lovely weather?
We are home. Lodge was booked until Friday but we would have come home on Thursday afternoon to avoid the 10am mad rush departure because PD makes the mornings difficult. Usually. However, OH was getting more and more anxious and shaky. I emailed PD nurse because I thought the new meds were already being less effective 
Impressively, she rang within 2 hours and suggested deterioration was probably due to a combination of being on holiday/change of routine and dehydration caused by the heat. Routine was pretty much the same as always: he wasn’t going anywhere and I made sure mealtimes stayed the same but he said he wasn’t sleeping as well as at home. So I agreed to come back on Wednesday. Only 2 days early. Twelve nights is considerably better than none so I’m glad we didn’t cancel. But I was really annoyed that his condition improved dramatically once he knew we were going home. 
He immediately started packing. We were out of there by 11am on Wednesday (he was actually ready for 10 but I refused to rush: I had hoped to stay until early evening. I loved the place and didn’t want to leave.)
A 40 minute drive home and then lunch to organise. Every. Single. Meal. Apart from one fish and chip tea that caused me indigestion problems. I need a holiday!! Grrrr.
Being home has brought back all the memories and I feel fragile again. 
More bereavement bureaucracy completed. Gradually getting there. Each job done takes away another layer of stress, though there’ll be major headaches once the inquest is over and we have to deal with his estate. But that’s months away so I’m trying not to think about it!
41°C in my car this afternoon!! 
It had only been parked for half an hour in the supermarket car park! Thank goodness for air con!!
Ordered some new pjs for OH today as he’s only got one set; I’m fed up of having to get them washed and dried in one day. Pjs I chose had a matching summer dressing gown so I ordered that too because he only has a heavy cotton towelling one, and a summer nightie, that was in the sale, for me. Oops! Expensive pyjamas?! 
It was brilliant that you did manage the 12 days and you loved the place🙂 keep an eye on OH and his naughty bench behaviour then you can report back to nurse.
It is a lot to go through once paperwork is completed you can breathe a sigh of relief and concentrate on what’s about to happen. Sending big hugs your way.
41° geez!!!
We are maybe managing 18° degrees here haha.
YD is off woo hoo small break to recover from all the weddings, one more to go…but at least it’s here.
Pretty quiet today next week am going to try and take GS to soft play it’s just down road but after the toddler who walked literally miles he now has an aversion to any walking at all…
We’ll see xx
OH is definitely on the Bad Behaviour Bench! 
I spent all of yesterday morning on the phone or emailing, sorting out ES’s cars, business banking etc etc. Everything I did flagged up something else I had to do, which usually required finding out how to do it! OH was jealous! Actually jealous because I was doing all that stressful stuff instead of spending time with him!! Half an hour appeasing him before escaping for a couple of hours with my knitting friends: the first people I’ve spoken to, in person, other than shop assistants or him, in three weeks!
In the evening, he was storming around slamming doors and I told him to “Stop it and calm down!” He told me to “Shut up!” He went to sleep, snoring loudly but, an hour later, just as I was getting into my bed he called me. 
Shaking, dithering wreck. Eventually calmed him down and told him to start talking about what was bothering him. Wish I hadn’t. He said ME doing all that paperwork had stressed HIM! What am I supposed to do?! 
He admitted he was JEALOUS (of his dead son! ) He mentioned being anxious about my proposed couple of nights away. Then he said - and this is why the BB bench is as close to the lake as possible in the hope that the alligators will get him - that when I was dx with BC he deliberately injured himself because he was jealous. WHAT?? We always (half) jokingly said he couldn’t bear to be upstaged but he just admitted it!! There was me chasing around after him and his broken leg, whilst coping with the terror of my cancer dx. He got all the sympathy as his problem was visible and YD had to drop everything to come and take me to my appointments.
I was so angry. The closest I’ve ever been to packing my bag and leaving him to it. Definitely questioning my life choices. And I told him that.
Having slept (briefly) on it, I suspect that it was the stress of everything that’s happened, his guilt at not being able to do anything to help combined with PD false memories (there have been some bizarre ones!) rather than the actual truth. But still…? 
He’s all sweetness and light this morning as if we never had that conversation, although I know that, at sometime in the future, he’ll complain that I upset him when I threatened to leave. Forty years I’ve put up with this ****!! WHY?!
Sorry everyone. Needed to vent. Just off to browse flats for sale near the Norfolk coast…
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Oh my goodness that’s a story and a half!
Where indeed does your mind go after his admittance?
A lot to come to terms with on top of everything else.
Biggest hugs ever xx
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Oh my word, what an awful thing to hear, as if you needed more stress. Sending you strength and big hugs too xx
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Well it’s done. We’ve had the funeral. Perhaps we can move on now. Although it doesn’t feel like it at the moment. There were far more people there than I expected. Some had even flown in especially from Bulgaria, Romania and Spain! It was comforting to see how special he was to so many people but it’s only made the grief for what we’ve missed, having not seen him for so long, even worse.
OH really struggled, both physically and mentally, but YD and I got him through it and then left him to sit in the limo (sleek jaguar with cream leather interior!) while we took a walk around the nature reserve. 
I’m glad ES’s friend persuaded us to have the limo: it meant we didn’t have to worry about driving and gave us a reason to have to leave and come home. We felt we were rushed away a bit too quick, despite lingering longer than funeral director or crematorium staff would have liked, but that’s better than needing to escape but not wanting to be rude.
YD and I had a lovely walk last night and sat together in our sun lounge with the door open. Nearly camping! 
She goes home today, as she’s back at work tomorrow after 2 days compassionate leave. That’ll be another wrench but she’s planning to be back, before GD goes back to school, with GD and possibly DIL. That’s something to look forward to. And I’m definitely going to have my day at the seaside. Not sure about my mini break: I’ll have to see how much better OH is now the funeral is done. 
Glad everything went well and so many were there to pay their respects.
It’s been a difficult time for you all, big hugs xx
Came home on earlier train was very full despite having lots of carriages but all was fine, whew.
Leaving town visit until Fri, so just hanging around house, def needing quiet time haha.
All GC back at school, when you are a grandparent time goes in so quickly not for the parents though!!
Not raining here YET xx
How lovely that there were lots of people there. I’m glad things went well for you, as well as it could. It will take time, I’m thinking of you and your family xxx
We’ve been fairly quiet here, we’ve had a few visits to locks (and pubs) on the canal. Can’t believe the time is going so quickly. Had a bad dream last night about school. Was very pleased to wake up this morning.! I didn’t think I was anxious yet, but obviously my subconscious is. I’m happy that the very hot weather has gone. I really don’t like it. After having skin cancer last year I’ve become extremely wary of going out in the sun. Take care everyone xx
I wish the app for this forum wasn’t called just “Breast”. Apart from the fact it looks dodgy to anyone who doesn’t know what it is, every time it updates, my virus software informs me “Breast has been scanned” which is just a weeny bit triggering! 
I expect you are digging your heels in and clinging on with your finger nails to every last moment of the holidays, Ali? Enjoy the last few days before mayhem recommences. Meanwhile, parents everywhere, my YD and DIL included, can’t wait for term to start!
It’s rained on and off all day. I did sit out in the garden, briefly, with my knitting but had to beat a hasty retreat as the heavens opened. Again. Finished it indoors.
Teddy will hide inside the cracker but it’s a bit of a squeeze and seems a bit violent! Don’t want to get reported to the NSPCT!!
He comes out, though. And has legs!
I’m having a small panic because I’m madly knitting c-word stuff for the craft fair our sewing group leader organises in November but she’s just told us there’ll be no sewing group in November or December because she’s on a cruise! Presumably that means there’ll be no craft fair either. Arghh! Cupboard full of knitted c-word tat until next year then?!
Oh my goodness poor teddy it looks so very painful for him:rofl: ouch…
Do you not have a c charity shop nearby? Maybe an idea instead of waiting with a cupboard full.
Out for lunch yesterday, it wasn’t raining hurrah. Had sourdough bread egg mayo and salad was tasty but the hot chocolate was the best ever haha.
Won’t be back to other restaurant for a good long while food poisoning does that to you!!
Have been searching for chinos and not liked any of them but found jeans that fit perfectly so am throwing all old ones out, thank goodness.
Also searching for navy buttons bought some but they were too big, exchanged them for smaller ones and they are too small so annoying so am just going to give up arrgh. Xx
You need to find a shop where you can buy buttons in person? I struggle buying stuff online as I’m hopeless with sizes. Having said that, I’ve just ordered some purple buttons for the cardigan I’m knitting, while I was ordering some extra yarn, just in case, before that dye lot sells out, because I’m knitting the cardigan 10cm longer. Hope I like them. 
The girls have just gone. It was hard to see them go.
There’s a plan to meet up during October half term, in Ely, for the day. Haven’t mentioned that to OH yet. I might issue the ultimatum that he can’t come unless he agrees to use the wheelchair, otherwise we’ll be too limited on what we can do. Spending the day at the station?! 
I’m exhausted now but glad I’ve got a busy week planned. Especially as we won’t be away for the first week of term this year.
Did go in person hahaha, first ones too big that’s after me measuring them, next ones too small…have given up grrrr.
Hope your ones are fine!
Great you saw your girls and have a plan, ultimatum sounds good hahaha.
Just nipped over to supermarket, saves me going in tomorrow as will be in town. Think I have just made it home in time, it’s getting darker and darker. Been an awful summer.
Pick up new glasses tomorrow am quite excited as will be able to see better. Lady suggested not to have metal frames as lenses will be so thick, geez am so annoyed!! Old age arrgh.
Am going back into shoe shop as well searching for a pair of boots, have been wearing the same make for years and am now finding they are really uncomfortable. Have had a nosy on google and there is a pair I like but they are orange/red need to see them in person as to how orange are they really??? They don’t look too bright in pics, we’ll see.
Hope you are enjoying your days out and about JCJ.
Back to school Ali? xx
Well that’s it summer is over. Where did it go? Had to go in for inset yesterday afternoon. Back to school tomorrow. At least it’s only 1 day this week. Wonder what the cohort will be like this year. I’ve read in the news that these are the covid babies, will be interesting to see how this year goes.
Glad you had a good time with the girls Jcj. What shame not going away for the first week of term. I’m so looking forward to being able to do that.
Katy I hope the boots will fit. I’m intrigued by the colour, please show us if you buy them.
Well I’m going to enjoy the last day before getting into school term mode. Take care everyone. X
Good luck Ali, hope all went well and you enjoyed new pupils.
Did go into shop and asked about boots, they didn’t have them in stock and they were sold out online. So lady showed me a couple of pairs that were similar, really liked one pair tried them on and boy oh boy pain was horrific haha. She found another pair not a colour I would usually go for and they were COMFY woo hoo! Still not sure about colour but have no choice, comfort comes first.
Also picked up new glasses what a difference hurrah, that’s less than a year since last appointment so hopefully they will calm down for a while.
So lucky no rain today, wonderful to not be caught in a downpour.
Have you been out for lunch JCJ? xx