I wouldn’t be surprised if the chemo dried up your tear ducts. lol!
Reactions are really surprising. I choke up at the daftest things too, but anything big, hardly a drop.
Speak later, gotta rush out now.
I hope mine dry up soon!! Had a day down Gloom Alley yesterday and reckon I must be dehydrated now…we’re all different and I was doing grand then wham, down you go, I’m back up now…and being whisked away for my wedding anniversary today for one night of luxury - well hotel!! Our anni is really 29th feb, its 17yrs this year - and I feel awful - I forgot!! even a card - well strictly speaking I haven’t forgotten as its not here yet so there’s hope…!! Speak soon girls and take care, sal - thinking of you, mary x
angel - you’ve been through so much recently its no wonder you’re body’s gone into shock and like you say we keep a face on for the kids etc etc, maybe we should all just book a desert island between us as a refuge and healing place for the wet times or the times where we generally feel crappy - the sun and sea breeze would help, good company and lots of support…keep the pecker up kid…mary x
ps Martina is lying low but we have her covered and she’ll be back tending them horses if she’s not there already…xx
Hi girls
congratulations Mary, 17years is great! Perhaps you could make him a card…and the ‘colouring in’ might be relaxing and therapeutic!! hahaha.
You are right we are all different, but from reading everyones experiences…I think the ladies are the strongest gender!! Definitely more determined…hey that rings a bell!
Enjoy your luxury hotel Mary…you deserve it!
Hi Carole, hope you start to have better ‘sleeps’ soon, probably colouring in won’t do the trick for you, so maybe the pan thing is better, although not too often!! Your a strong gal! but as I found out the other day, my first melt down, and real crying session, it was a relief. I’m back to normal, but I think you are being strong for your family as well as yourself. Perhaps letting it go is the answer, just once and all that tension that has built up will be released. You know best what works for you!!! Good luck lass!
Angel…is it ok to call you that? I didn’t cry when my mum died, (well not till later on) I think its like a safety valve, the shutters come down and you go on to auto pilot! Shock as well will make you react in that way …I guess!
hi Nikki Just to say what beautiful children you have, how old are they?
Thinking of you Sal!
Hi Sandra hope you’re still feeling ok!
Darn!!! can’t find the grits bin to hide…think the Old One got there before me grrrrrrrr!
Helenx
Mary - enjoy your hotel visit. 
It is our 16th wedding anniversary later this year (although we were together for 8 years before that as well…)
Nell - it’s funny actually as on some other forums everyone calls me rhapsody…
Are you into cardmaking…? Ever on the lookout for other cardmakers / scrapbookers… lol
Thinking of you today Sal.
Happy Anniversary Mary - I hope you have a lovely night away.
Glad you got some sleep Carole. I went to bed at about 6.30 last night and slept until 8 until a friend phoned to see how I was. Grrrr. Well I was FINALLY asleep until you called!! I did sleep again reasonably ok but lightly from 12 to 7 and planned to sleep again once the kids were at school. Got about half an hour until the wig place phoned to say my wigs were in.
What a disaster. They only had 2 of the 3 I ordered. One was a really short angular bob with a heavy fringe that I swear I’d never have chosen in a blue fit, but then it probably looked different in the book. The colour was vile and it was too small. It kept rising up off my head like bread and they kept ramming it back down and saying it was fine, it was just because I still have my hair right now that it was pinching. Like heck.
The other one was one I’d ordered, but it seems the colour I picked never existed so they just picked a ridiculous brassy blonde colour to send that just made me look stupid. There was nothing between that and a sort of mid-brown available so nothing that looked like me at all. On the plus side the style was ok and it at least stayed on my head. Shame it made me look like Pete Burns.
The 3rd one is in the post, should be there early next week. Cripes knows what colour that will be. Red probably. They don’t even supply any kind of skull cap - just itchy fibre hair on a bald head. Ugh.
If the one next week is no good (and I really don’t think it will be now) I’ll forget it and just go headscarves. So disappointed that they really didn’t seem to give a ~*& that the wigs they were shoving on my head were the complete wrong colours and didn’t even fit. 2 weeks I waited for that humiliation.
Anyway - and breathe. Still feeling ok, bit woozy headed today and got no energy, but the anti-sick meds are working well (aside from the constipation - that’s a shocker and the unblockers they gave me haven’t done any good so far).
I had a crying jag a couple of weeks ago and felt much better for it, I’m not one of life’s criers really. I can cry at a sad advert but I seem to shut down over major things. I might allow myself another weep today, feeling a bit miz now after my humiliation at the hairdressers. However, it’s a silly thing to get upset about in the scale of what’s going on who cares if a wig I probably wasn’t going to wear anyway is no good?!
Yippee! Clear margins and clear nodes, although the cancer was three times as big as they initially thought. Still only 15mm though, so NO CHEMO!!! Now I know I should be jumping round, doing cartwheels and generally feeling great, but I feel strangely flat and fragile. The mind is a truly wierd thing isn’t it? I’ve been told it’s a 8 - 10 week wait for rads, so now it’s just limbo for a while.
Glad you’re feeling ok still Gen, though sometimes I think it’s the little things in life (like wigs) that push us over the edge.
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
Excellent news Sal!! That sense of anti-climax will wear off and you’ll be high as a kite soon I’m sure. So pleased you’re not having to do chemo, that’s just fab.
That’s great news Sal…
Gen - sorry that it went so badly at the wig place…
I had a phone call off the breast care nurse earlier - she wanted to know how i was… so she told me off because i hadn’t seen the gp yet - even though she was the one telling me the other day it was nothing, why was i bothering her with this etc…? anyway she said i had to book an earlier appointment for today - so i’ve now got an appointment for 5.20pm today…
That’s fab news Sal, good to know we’ll have at least one Storm Rider able to cover our backs if the baddies get too ornery in the coming weeks!
Big hug!
Calam
Excellent news sal now you just mosey on down here and we’ll have us a little celebration then I’ll send you back down the trail to help those riders who are finding the going tough.
Mary hope you had a wonderful anniversary unmarred by chemo effects.
The Old Onex
Whoop Whoop!!! Excellente! High Five!! Way to go Sal! Soooo pleased. Drinks all round.
Back in later, just unloading the shopping from the car and stuff like that, but couldn’t wait to find out the news.
Oh dear I’m heading down the dark alley today, woke up feeling ok and feel rubbish now.
A “close” friend phoned me earlier to see how I was and then said “do you want to hear some good news”. I said “ok” and she proceeded to tell me how a mutual acquaintance with a son the same age as my Maddie died of cancer 2 weeks ago having been diagnosed just before Christmas! I don’t think it was BC, it was one of the sort where you’re riddled before you know you’ve got it, but even so…to precede that with the words “good” news?! Then she tells me about some other poor woman I don’t know who is a mum at a local primary school (not one my kids go to) and she’s terminal too. She’s the 4th mother at that school in the last 2 or 3 years. She then starts speculating about why so many women in their 30’s & 40’s in our area are dying of cancer and being so worried if she gets it and if she does she hopes it’s breast cancer because it’s one of the “best” ones. I mean WHY do you think I want to hear this!!! She’s always been a tactless and insenstive cow, is known for it, but honestly…WTF?!!
So anyway, I’m feeling well and truly dischuffed and down. Sorry to be a downer, but I know I can spill it all out here. Tell me this will pass.
Hello Storm Riders!
Have been reading through all your posts and hope you don’t mind if I drop in?
Sorry Gennie you are feeling down, some people just have no tact do they - you have an army of friends here though from all the pages I’ve read so I’m sure they’ll soon have you up again.
I had a mastectomy and SNB last Friday and came home Tuesday, waiting for results next week, longest wait ever as has been said many, many times I know but reading your tales of determination are a medicine in itself. Great to hear good news today, there’ll be some celebrating later no doubt!!
Piper - hi and welcome to the storm riders…
Gen - oh no. tactless really is the word, insensitive bitch perhaps… sorry that you’ve had such a rotten day…
Well i have been and seen the doctor - and he had no idea what was wrong with me… so he has taken some blood samples to check if i am anemic or if i have a blood clot and said i mustn’t leave the house tonight as they would phone if it was a blood clot…
So i will go back on monday for my original appointment as they should have the results by then… i think if those show nothing they will send me for a chest xray just to see what’s happening…
Gen, what is is with some people? One of my friends replied to my email telling her of my diagnosis with “we all know lots of women who’ve had bc and are doing really well now”. I thought “well actually, I don’t, exactly the opposite really, but don’t let that bother you”. I suppose she was trying to be upbeat and positive, but when your experience is so different, you put a different slant on things. The trouble is we all have different experiences of cancer, and that informs the way you feel about the whole thing.
But having said that, how could she possibly think that information was helping you? What you need right now is a lot of tlc and some tact, for goodness sake! Tell the Storm Riders where she lives and we’ll pay her a little visit. Just try to remember things like the fact that my cousin in Canada recently told me that her mother in law had a mastectomy in the bad old days 30 years ago and is still going strong at 91! And there are loads of people on the forum, who’ve had treatment, are doing well and keep popping back to give us reassurance. A year down the line from here, that will be us:) And don’t forget, you’ve just had your first chemo. You’re bound to be feeling fragile. It will pass. And Storm Riders don’t need wigs either - too much of an encumbrance in a fight. lol
I’m feeling better than I was at lunchtime. I had a walk to the GPs to pick up a sick note and walked back the long way round. It was such a lovely day, by the time I got back the sun had started to work its magic. Sat in the garden with a cup of tea - perfect. I think the problem was that I had been back and forth to the breast clinic so many times over the past two months, seen all of the doctors, all of the bc nurses, radiologists, radiographers etc and felt so supported, now I feel like I’ve just been pushed out of the pram!! Feeling a bit unsteady on my feet, but getting the hang of it with every step.
Welcome Piper. I hope the Old One still has plenty of room in the barn, because we’re gathering riders thick and fast here. I hope you’re recovering well. Pull up a bale of hay and join the party.
Theresa, wishing you well. The trouble with GPs is that they are Jacks of all trades, so often haven’t got a clue what’s wrong. But they are on to it and will sort it out soon, I’m sure.
hi girls
Been out for a long walk on the prairie this afternoon, with my little sis and good friend. Feel a bit tired now but really ‘made up’ for you Sal, fantastic news! I think what you are feeling is natural, so I’m lead to believe…so a big celebration is in order!!!
‘bartender set em up’!!!
Hi Theresa, I’m not a card maker, not creative enough, but my sister and niece used to do them in their spare time…did some cool ones too!
Hey Piper, hope everything went ok, and its good that you don’t have to wait too long for your results. When do you get them?
So sorry you’re feeling down Gennie, all my friends without exception have told me a story of someone they know with bc…and although I listened and smiled (through gritted teeth eventually), It got so I wanted to scream!!!..but did’nt…I really sympathise with you, sounds like you could do with a celebration too!!!
Hey there all, that is fantastic news Sal ,Im so pleased for you,get my results on Wed, am hoping for the best but if it’s not at least I know I will have good company on the journey.
Gen, I really feel for you,you don’t need “friends” like that around you at times like these,well, at any time really cos they are just a pain in the proverbial. I think a lot of you are just too nice by far, if they are true friends and they make stupid insensitve remarks they won’t mind if you blast them with both guns blazing about the hell that we go through with what is happening and their comments are not really helpful in any way shape or form. If they are offended by what you say to them then they are not worth having as friends in the first place, I can’t be doing with having people like that around me at the best of times so god help them if they catch me on a bad day. Oooh gosh am a bit grrrrr today, was absolutely whacked earlier,am up and down like a fiddlers elbow !
Maybe my blood sugar is low,hey good excuse to eat some chocolate…was told you have to eat to heal at the hosp…don’t know if they really meant chocolate but what the hell…
Love and crunchies(or any other chocolate)
Sandra x
Theresa, at last you’re getting some attention. Good. Hang loose till you get results. No point in fretting. Ha Ha, where have you heard all that before.
Gen, you might have to walk through the dark alley, but you walk out the other end into the sunlight again very soon. I promise. It’s the drug, and it passes. And while you’re walking through, we’re walking on the roof tops alongside you, watching, keeping the way safe.
May I offer a small suggestion? There’s a big bin at the start of the alley. Casey is holding the lid. Steel and Mule have an arm each, and if you just give her a quick punt up the bahookey we can topple your “friend” in. There she goes! Slammo, lid is down and on. Oh look, there’s a handy wagon on to which we can now deposit the bin. Lookeee there, Black Canyon is just ahead. Oops, butterfingers, who left the wagon end open. Runner is such a handy horse to have around. He knows just when to kick a wagon. Say Ta Ta to Ms Inconsiderate, the Boss’s witchy aunt who makes (made :D) life a misery for the townsfolk. And a cheer goes up in Determination!
Y’know it’s not just useless inanimate objects we need to ditch when we have a life re-focus.
A friend suggests good old fashioned prunes and prune juice for the constipation. Totally forgot about that one. I’m going to try that, 'cos those meds they gave me didn’t work for diddly squat.
Hmmm, I go for my wig pick up next week. From the sounds of it I shouldn’t be getting too excited. To be honest, having done the scarf thing for a couple of weeks, I doubt I’ll use a wig either. Feel free to bawl and nash your teeth and rent your hair Gen.
Glad the sun and a good bit of exercise started to lighten the load Sal. Think of the 8 weeks as a well earned sabbatical from the hassle. You’d rather get on with it, but waiting is what Tiggers and us do best. And you’ve still got to heal fully from the op. By the time you get to Rad you won’t want back in the pram anyway. 
Hey Piper! There’s still a couple of spaces in the bunkhouse if I’m counting up right. Riviera nabbed one of the Old One’s rooms in the house 'cos it had a great mirror, but she’s still got another room and a couple of bunks in the apple loft. Take your pick.
Nobody taking me up on Colin Farrell? Thought I might start a smooch war there? Now that’s a face I could smooch all day, and that Dublin accent. Swoonsville!
Scotia, between you and Red on the grrrrr-ing front I think we have a bad guy busting duo there, and you both seem to have a chocolate addiction. lol. I am seeing some great gag lines ahead.
Take it easy on your prairie outings Yorkie. You’ve got a stomach full of grits after all! ;D